I didn't even realize what day it was yesterday.
The 7th of November didn't even ring a bell.
My mom didn't remember either.
My dad didn't call me.

It had been exactly 4 years as of yesterday.
4 years since I cried on the cold tile.
4 years since I dragged my body up,
and grabbed hold of twin pill bottles to steady myself.

I was alone, like always.
My mom left even as I was crying in front of her,
To watch my brother's football game.
I was alone.

I wrote the letter, I threw away bad memories.
Then I stood in my mothers bathroom
And poured those white pills out into my hand
And down my throat.

I stared myself in the eyes as I did it.
If you're going to **** someone,
Look them in them eyes as you do it.
No hiding.