Uncontrollable urges to destroy yourself
Wanting to stop
But stopping
Is like
A drug addict
Quitting
Or forgetting about
Someone who
Made life much more bearable

Simply telling someone to stop
Is like
Telling a rock to move
Or saying
Someone with curly hair
Should make it straight

It is hard to understand
About a mental disorder
Unless
You have it

You linger.
I desire for your body,
in this vast night.

Like the hands I allowed my cat to scratch
and my unvacuumed floor and unwashed bed sheets,
And the ability to go outside and improve myself
I took you for granted.

crooks of elbows
backs of knees
where the thighs touch
back
neck

I love to see you happy
I love to see you smile
The crinkles around your eyes
Make it worthwhile

I hate it when you're sad
I hate to see you down
No one deserves to be blue
It's dreadful to see that frown

Always stay happy
Keep your head up
Look for the bright things in life
It'll brighten your world's makeup

Blue lines around grey pottery,
empty containers full of air.
Spices perched on the shelf;
mocking,
staring at the lone figure at the counter,
whispering together.

The setting sky darkens
the cat begs for food,
the cat is fed,
and the figure is alone once more.

My words half-formed in my mouth,
a subtle taste of what is on the paper.
Gliding across the thin black lines is my pen,
creating words and phrases I have yet to say.

Curiosity poured into a being
Tail swishes from side to side, eyeing the mental world hustling around it
Staying out of it.
Keeping its distance.
Smart choice, furry one.
Keeping out of the bitter *******.
Yet we choose to point out their wise choice,
Claiming it to be rude,
Only curious ones see it as it is.

Chocolate eyes pair with your brunette hair
your gentle but firm grip on my hand,
fingers lightly tracing circles in the spaces between my knuckles,
How can you feel so warm?

Your touch lifts dead weight in my center;
I feel light and airless
Your warm and enveloping scent
Comforts me,
Calms me,
makes me feel like nothing is wrong in the world.

Your voice is so deep but high
slightly groggy and dark
What would it sound like if I woke up next to you?
I could listen to you talk for hours my dear,
a soothing voice among this sea of shrills.

how scared you must be
to be exposed to the elements
with all your windows broken in
and all alone

I approached the door, as something caught my eye
A glimpse of a person,
a wishful hi
Something inside me was filled with terror and glee,
but I soon realized,
the reflection,
it was only me.

Tossing, turning,
Staring at the ceiling
Dark rooms
Nothing to do
Nothing to think about

But the
Deep, sad, weird late night thoughts
Of
Loneliness
Sorrows
Future
To dos
Sleep
People
Ideas
Life
Scary things
Ceilings
Walls

Late nights
Nothing to think about
Everything to think about

"Why do you take such long showers?"

I don't know
Maybe it's the warm water covering me like a blanket
Or my free train of thought
It seems so endless
And so inviting

Here I am,
faced with a blank page.
The spaces in between the lines could be filled with anything:
words of wisdom,
words of hate,
pictures conjured out of boredom;
a masterpiece wrecked by lines.
It could be professional,
the words could be zany,
or wildly inappropriate.
It is anyone's choice.
Yet here I am still,
with a page over half full,
breaking some sort of wall,
talking about pages and words.

Get over me,
because I'm not worth it.

I'm not worth it,
because I broke your heart,
because I feel so bad about it,
because it's been 5 months,
because I can't accept myself.

You should get over it,
because I'm not the best person you'll meet,
because you're only 15,
because life must go on,
because lamenting won't get me back,
BECAUSE IT'S BEEN 5 MONTHS.

Life wont stop revolving,
even if your world feels like it has.

My head is buzzing.
I can't control it.
I need to settle down,
Let sleep come and
drag me lower,
Allowing me to rest.

But my bed is hard
and unaccepting of my
attempts to sleep,
So I lie awake.
All I want is to escape
into a state of unconsciousness,
so I don't have to feel.

Let us take you to another world
Dragging the problems out of your head
Losing yourself in a make-believe world
Full of wonder
Excitement
Danger
Fun
Happiness
Loose yourself in a different place
A place you with you were in

Standing.
I am standing.
A pane of glass separates us.
Her pupils are slits,
staring up at me expectantly.
A bird captures her vision.
They drift up to me.
Her eyes are wild,
they are wild in a domestic environment.
I am still staring at her.
She's still staring back.
I reach for the door handle,
and her eyes become domestic again.

I remember
that once
my 9th grade math teacher;
he was in a poor family,
and he couldn't have a coat.
"I didn't let the cold bother me."

I remember
on a cold day
when I could see vapor puffs from my nose
I was standing there
and refused to let the cold bother me.

A wise man
Once said,
"We're all stories,
In the end."