If I had a pen,

On a thin sheet of paper, I would write how the way
Your collarbone curvatures.
I will write about you endlessly.

Until the palms of my hands begin to bleed,
And my entire skeleton will start to ache.
It’ll be a reminder to me that I should have
        tried harder to make you stay.

I should have known, that you preferred bitter black coffee
Rather than tea.

Hanging out in my room, I'm alone and I'm naked
Sitting, wondering why you and I didn't make it
Every man in my life ends up being a fake kid
I've got a dark demon and never will shake it

Clicking poems out now slurping down some black coffee
Thinking I'll really do it, and nobody can't stop me
If they wanted me here, why did all of them drop me?
I'm salty and sweet, so you choked me with toffee

My abandonment itch is so easily triggered
With no dad and no brothers, my heart grew disfigured
Sweetest strawberry patch in all of the vineyard
Every vintner passed by never even considered

I love myself, know myself, truly am learning
This caustic behavior toward me is burning
I see stars when he mars battlescars I am earning
I am left bent and selfless, possessed by the yearning

I am swimming in a cup
Still warm but time is running up
The lid goes shut
The lights are off
I squeeze my knees
So I can fit

I am powder in a box
Next to Benjamin stuffed socks
Open the lid
Take me all in
Exhale, inhale
Now I'm inside

I am poison in a pool
You may drink; I'm always full
Go for a swim
Come take a dive
You drain your brain
To get me out