I am afraid of the pain
Of being rejected again
But my heart yearns
And yet reels all the same.

The barriers that surround me
Rise higher than mountains, but
Take a step towards me
And they'll come tumbling down.

But those walls rise
Again and again
Pushing back all
So that when I look to the sky,
I look straight up
So that I don't notice
The empty landscape...

I can only pretend to
Understand where you came from
I can only comprehend
Why you are you
You're terrified by me because
It is I who breaks those walls
And it is I who can understand you
I no longer pretend
I know who you are
You are no longer terrified

I miss finding pieces of us on the floor
I miss our soft words tugging at each others zippers
I miss our sharp insults ripping at each others buttons
I miss the feeling of myself spilling out
Of my walls crumbling to the floor
I miss every piece of me being exposed
Open to your eyes
I miss playing with everything I found inside of you
I miss our carelessness causing everything to lay scattered on the ground
I miss swapping ideas and thoughts
I miss the library we built together
We didn't have time to clean up
To split evenly what was laying on the ground around us
You took what you could and you ran
With my voice urging you to go
Now I lay here in our mountains of things
I stroke the pieces you left behind
And I start rebuilding my walls
I start putting the pieces that I have back together inside of me
I know that I'm missing some
And I know that when you go through the same process you'll find them and think of me
As I sort through myself
I find things that I don't want anymore
I discard things from both you and I
And rebuild a different way
The walls I'm building now are thinner
Because I know the feeling of them spilling down is a good one
The library inside of me now has more meaning, and less gaps
I'm still in the process of cleaning
I think I will always miss finding pieces of us on the floor
But I'm preparing myself to be ready to experience it again.

Doesn't Spring arrive
At just the perfect time
Each year?
Just as the New Year-ness begins to wear out
And Old Thoughts begin to simmer?
When chapped winterlips and afternoon heat
Don't quite understand each other?
Doesn't Spring bloom and burst
Through a fast fading world ,
Bringing life back to Technicolor?

So when Spring arrives
I go to Her with childlike wonder
Bare hands and eyes still full of Winter.
And when I return,
Unable to carry
All her gifts,
I wear Her flowers in my hair
Leaves at my feet
Petals in my eyes
Color on my skin
And Love Love Love
Blooming
On every wall inside me.

Burning minds,
Brilliant minds
Different minds...

All of them writing the same old stuff,
Bowing themselves to the ancient knowledge,
Going to waste.

All of them stuck inside four walls,
25 of them:
Learning that passion and dreams are money!
Learning that power is freedom!
Thinking that peace is no war...

How fleeting their brilliance,
How wasted their genius,
How happy they are...ignorant,
How they despise madness and true humor,
How they accept the concrete walls!
How they feel one with the smoke and tar!
How they laugh at gibberish and lead
Sober, boring, small lives...
How they look at big cities
Instead of trees,
How they learn that beauty is a monstruous exuberance
Instead of passion, freedom and the simplicity of oneself
In the middle of every day circus.

Babe, you know
You can always climb under my skin, you know my heart plays for you a song, my brain is at your disposal.
Strip my lies, my feelings, my identities. You tear them so they melt away.
Dig down find
Your shovel hit a rock, maybe treasure. My center, my skeleton, that's all I have to give. I can't promise you will wander further than that, but it's your choice to get there, your choice to take.

There is this split moment
When you realize
Something that
Everyone else has known
For the first time

A crack in reality
White noise in the dark truth

Its like your eyes are suddenly opened
And the lights are stinging bright
Everything you thought was true
Was
Not

You hear the walls all come crumbling down

Am I losing you?
Did I ever have you in the first place?

I wish you would stop looking at me like I'm perfect
So you can feel good about that wall you've built between you and I.
I am not where I want to be
I am not who I want to be
My spirit isn't glowing in tune with my heart
I have been breaking and shattering my whole life.
I have been building and falling all over this place
And no one sees it
No one is here to catch me,
But I am showing you
I am letting down these walls
Trying to show you there are mirrors
Because maybe you aren't meant to stitch yourself together...
Maybe I take your hand
And you take mine...
Maybe my heart wasn't meant to be broken my whole life
Before I knew I had the chance,
The choice,
To share it with someone.  
The chance,
The choice,
To choose you.