Anivel Aidan Dec 2017

I was at a place where sadness became comfort. Sadness became the cozy home I never had. A place where I belong - a home that welcomed and accepted me. It was where I came back to at the end of the day. It was the only thing that waited for me and the only thing that wanted me. These days whenever I'm near the edge - I can hear them calling me. Malevolent croonings telling me to come back home.

"I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic."
Anivel Aidan Oct 2017

i like it
when you say my name
as if it's yours
as if it soothes your soul
it drips from your lips
so sweetly
like something fragile
that you're afraid to drop
i like it
when you call me yours
something inside me flutters
in silence -
a sense of belonging
- i've never belonged
to anything and
anyone before

for you;)
Anivel Aidan Sep 2017

i don't think you can unlearn somethings
like how to build walls around your heart
so that no sword will find a way through it again
like how to choose meaningless people to obsess over
because you know if they hurt you
the blow won't come as hard
and there you are
with your patience and kindness
slowly coalescing your presence
into my life
slowly getting me attached
to your presence
i don't think you realize
how special you are becoming to me

i'm so confused about how i feel
Anivel Aidan Sep 2017

I chased so many sunsets trying to forgive her.
But I don't think I ever will.
I know I will never forget
the lesson I learned
from trying so hard
to be accepted,
from giving my all
until I have nothing left.
Her name will always leave a bitter taste off my tounge.
But I've accepted it.
After all, you can't taste sweetness until you taste bitterness.

Before we made up.
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