Anivel Aidan Mar 19

remember your first bicycle?
i was so happy, so eager to learn,
i remember going through so much pain
falling on my face, picked up by my dad
as i cried and he kissed my feet saying
'there, it's all good now'
but then the bicycle ended up being my life
for a few short years
but then it is too small, and i was too big
i have grown, and it hadn't.
so i said goodbye and put it on the corner of the garage.
bought a brand new one.

i realize now, it's kind of like you and me.
you have grown, back then, and i hadn't.
you've made other friends, and i hadn't.
that's why when i'm not what you wanted,
not what you needed anymore, you left,
little by little.
you replaced me, just like the yellow bicycle
that leans onto the wall, unused and forgotten.

Anivel Aidan Jan 1

However improbable
I'd like to think that the multiverse theory is true
That for every choice we took
there is a version of us who didn't take it,
and that for every lost opportunities
there is a whole another universe where we took the chance
The paradox will never end
the parallel will never cross
But I like to think that
somewhere out there
no matter unreachable
there is a version of me
that still has you.

Anivel Aidan Oct 2016

I cannot stand the emptiness that nestles within my soul when I am
all alone in my room. I have so much love to give yet been hurt enough
times to not trust anyone that come close. My heart is yearning to feel
something, anything, just so that I can pour it out.

Maybe that’s why they call me ‘Drama Queen’, because I create mess
in order to feel, and when I do feel, I feel so strongly they get so
overwhelmed by my being.

Anivel Aidan Oct 2016

you sit by the window, wondering if he's ever coming back.
but you know, in your little heart, it doesn't matter if he don't.
-
you have yourself now.

Anivel Aidan Aug 2016

do you remember how much i loved you?
i do.

i remember it like the soft breeze blowing in my hair
nice, yet chilly.

what i remember the most is the words that i uttered
that last fight
when you got tired of trying (or maybe pretending)
to accept me
and i got so fed up with you never accepting me
after all those years.

i remember how i walked out so confidently
without looking back
when all i wanted was to turn back
run to you
hold you
and tell you
'please don't give up.'

but i didn't.

i remember how much i wanted you
to come back and tell me you're sorry,
tell me we could make this work.

but you never did.

and i was too proud to say the truth.

because truth is,
i still care.
i think i'll always care.

though if anyone asks me,
i'll never admit it.

more than you think i do
Anivel Aidan Aug 2016

we were lying on a blanket.
surrounded by green grass and calm water.
the wind blew as i look at him.

he was looking at the sky.
his eyes fixed to a place only he could see.

'will you remember me?'
he asked me.

and i wanted to say
that i could never wash off
the taste of you from my  mouth
no matter how much i try.

i wanted to say
that i will still remember you
when i'm standing on the altar
in my wedding dress.

i wanted to say,
that i would think about
what could have happened
if you had stayed,
until the last of my days.
until my chest stop rising.

but i closed my eyes
and buried all those thoughts
because you don't want me.

so i kissed your cheek and said
'of course i will'.

Anivel Aidan Aug 2016

you cannot fault one person for changing
it is the nature of human beings
we change as the years pass by
we change as the situation change.

we change in each era of our lives.

you cannot fault one person for changing
changing, it is like breathing
the rise and fall of our chest
inhale
exhale.

'you guys used to be close', they said.

but sometimes as we grow up,
we change direction,
we change our minds,
and we end up being in different roads
that leads us into two entirely different places

with the little thought in the back of our minds
that our roads will unite again
at some point in our life.

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