Anivel Aidan Jul 10

thank you
for always asking me
if i am okay.

until now,
you are still the only person
who ever did.

---

'are you okay?' is such a simple question.
but the impact it can give to a person?
unimaginable.

my closest friends don't even ask me if i am okay when i'm quiet. and they knew how i am. but you? you cared since day one.
you were the only one who cared.
but at the end, i question if you ever did.
and that's what broke me.

Part Two of my last poems about the storm.
Anivel Aidan Jul 10

if there is anything
i can thank you for
after shattering
my already battered heart.

it's a thank you
for showing me
what caring is
what it should be
and
what it shouldn't be.

Part One of my last poems for the storm.
Anivel Aidan Jul 6

before you curse him out
put yourself in his shoes
you might find that
he's the boy who cried wolf
he's not the villain
he's a knight

and he might not he your knight
but at least he's decent enough
to leave before you
get in too deep

I'm sorry for getting mad. Now I realize you're just doing the best you can. Thank you for being honest, at least.
Anivel Aidan Jun 28

Everytime I see your name,
hear your voice,
see your face,
I get this sinking feeling inside
because we no longer talk.
And what a tragedy,
for we broke so quietly,
without a single drama.
You went with your friends,
people I am strongly against,
and I went with my new friends.
I've always known that one day
you are not going to be mine.
But whenever I hear you laugh
coming out of my speaker,
my fingers itch to type 'hi' and
talk about my day with you.
But I don't.
I know you're going to reply warmly.
But I also know, that we won't be
what we used to be.

Milana once called us an old married couple, do you remember?
Anivel Aidan Jun 27

I'll miss you
I'll always miss you
Even when I don't.

The first time you left, I was so overwhelmed by my anger and hatred that I didn't consider your side of the story. This time, after our conversation, I was hit by a river of sadness when I saw you leaving. At first, I didn't really thought much about it, since I've always known you'd leave our country. But then suddenly 'How To Save A Life' came on and I haven't heard the song in forever and I sat down, thinking about what happened and what could've happened. I don't know if we will ever meet again, but know that I will always remember you even when I'm devoid of color. Cause we're ripped at every edge but we're still a masterpiece.
Anivel Aidan Jun 17

how many hearts
have i broken
because of
my bitterness?

how many soul
have i destroyed
because of
my vengeance?

how many
relationships
have i crushed
because of
my belief
that no one
genuinely
likes me
for who i am?

"sorry i can be so blind" - Halsey
Anivel Aidan Jun 15

There is this split moment
When you realize
Something that
Everyone else has known
For the first time

A crack in reality
White noise in the dark truth

Its like your eyes are suddenly opened
And the lights are stinging bright
Everything you thought was true
Was
Not

You hear the walls all come crumbling down

Am I losing you?
Did I ever have you in the first place?

When it comes to you, L, why am I always the one reaching out? Why do you never tell me anything?
•••
You said you wanted me the way I am.
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