Last night’s nightmares carved me open
and bled me of all belief-
Like they had a map guide to every vein
and knew where your love was stored
I woke this morning so very empty
and tired.

Your love runs through my veins,
For you I'm feening.
Your the only one
that I'm breathing for.
Your eyes pierce through my soul
I would go to hell and back for you
This is us
We could be
You and me

Once I loved a man
who crushed my words between his
fingers.
I never told him that I cried for three weeks straight,
and that to this day
I still can't say his name.
It was the first time I truly felt the pain of empty sentences.
It was the first time I ever wanted to see my pulse from the inside.

Once I loved a man
that chose his ****** over reason.
Said the world was too bitter
and he was always afraid.
I dropped a dime inside his mind,
but it only sank the boat.
He still sleeps inside my walls.
Today I thought I saw his corpse sitting in my bath tub,
but I think this time it's just the oxy kicking in.
I keep a blood stained shirt inside my pillow case,
and I don't know if it's good or bad
that the blood isn't mine,
or if it's just embarrassing to say
I will never stop loving him.

I loved a man that never hurt me,
but still I ended up in shards beneath the ocean.
He doesn't know about the mess I made upon my sheets,
because I couldn't shake the feeling
of his footsteps on my veins,
and I couldn't bare
to lift my head above the water.

I just feel there is
Something immortal
Inside our veins,
And perhaps I am conceited
But I mean it.

You make eternity
Possible with your gentle
swords of hands,
And perhaps I am defeated
But I feel it.


-- Eleanor

the first
innocent to the core, a
stolen love through
the words
of my brothers

the second
long after had only loved
for an exact amount,
none left to give
after a deadline was met

the third
a stupid drunken night
resulted in a quick
disgrace
of my decisions

the fourth
stuck needles where he
shouldn't have, a
heavy river spilling
on the rocks
and ghostly waters

the rest had no love to give
only advice to spare, a
game lost, a game
won,
all in the same vein

I loved you once,
Although I never had you.
I suppose that's why I wanted you.
As I fly over the Rockies, I can't help but wonder what mountain you and your board caressed.
I saw you there last week in photos.
I know your love for flying with the snow.
As I look down over the land the topography brings me back to our conversation,
You know the one we had in the aisle of best buy in front of the speakers.
I was on my hands and knees and you were looking down at me.
Oh how your gaze would melt my heart.
Those eyes that seethed into my soul with understanding and mutual oldness.
I told you about the topography of the land and its similarity to the structure in our own bodies.
The rivers are our veins, the water our blood.
We find these veins in leaves, in intricate patterns in the mountains, in sediment run off and in lightening.
I tried to make you see what I see,
That we are not separate from nature, but in fact we are nature in a complex and beautiful form.
Intelligent and loving.
I thought I could make you happy,
But you didn't agree.
I'm still so sorry that you never had me.

      L.Cole

Don't your words
Leave a stagnant taste of pity,
lingering on your tongue?

Don't your actions,
exceed your shallow words?

When was the last time,
you actually kept your thoughts to yourself?

To me,
you seem to be the type of person
who hisses and scowls at a sunrise,
only because it's too beautiful.

A.C

I popped open a vein to paint my blues, violet

© Matthew Harlovic

It starts at the bottom
Of my belly,
Right above your
Favorite spot,
Then it pings
And pongs
From elbows to knees,
From toes to shins,
From heart to biceps,
And from head to fingers,
Taking it's final bow
On the parts of my back
You sculpted-
This is how I miss you,
In every bend, crack, snap, and creek
In every bone, vein, muscle, and tendon.