I'm starting to see in color again.
It began like the seasons do
happening over your shoulder
summer nights shed their skin
into something a shade colder
but you can't remember exactly when
the colors appeared a bit bolder.

So used to life through absent eyes
I almost couldn't see in anything
other than black and white
But there were times that
I'd get stuck staring too long
like finding a rip in the seams
catch a color I hadn't seen
or find a new one in a kiss
a ripple in reality
my greys had more tint.

Soon I began to pine
for all the hues I'd missed
my favorite colors
given away to previous years
shades so familiar
they came with memories
undertones I could hear.
So I let it all come back
gave my eyes the time
to adjust from shadows
to the brighter whites.

Some days I still struggle
with every color I’ve seen
when nights are so blue
the indigos sink, deeper into me
but morning always returns
with her amber glow
I’ve seen God in her smile
and I keep her close.

Oh but Mama, the liquor feels so good in my system
so warm in my blood
I'll bet you never thought I would've listened
but now look at me
filling your shoes, so lost in my boots
I look a little something like you would've
I believe I would reckon.

And Mama have you seen
what a mess I've let these men make of me?
Most of them built on apologies
but they mean what they say
and they like to say it when they're mean.
Oh, Mama,
you should see the things you didn't mean to teach me.

Mama? Please don't be sad,
or hurt, or guilted, or shamed,
you did the best you could with what we had to our name,
My heart's bigger than most
and my eyes are wider all the same
I'll hold it all on my shoulders
I've learned to balance peace with the pain.