She will sit at 1am
Thinking of what she did wrong
And draw absurd conclusions that
She just wasn’t good enough for you

She will
Toss and turn at 2am
Asking herself why you
Let her go so easily

She will cry at 3am
Thinking of how you
Let her fall
Knowing well
You never intended
Of catching her

She will want to
Hate you at 4am
But instead find herself
Scrolling through
Your pictures

She will want you
To hold her tight at 5am
And tell her you miss her
Whilst you kiss her forehead so gently

She will catch herself at 6am
Sleeping at the thought of you
Telling her you love her
And how you never want
To let go

She will wake up at 7am
To a wet pillow
Because you let her sleep
Wondering if you ever cared
About her the way you claimed you did

She will start her day
Trying to find a piece of you
In the men she offers herself to
Only to find disappointment waiting for her

She will drown her wild thoughts with drugs
Just to numb the pain
She will call, cry and scream out your name
With a heavy heart;
That is yearning to be with you..

When Fire met Ice
time froze in the heat of the moment.

The clock can only click again
when the flames face the sun.

While the tide pulls tight,
wishing for an endless, silent night,
true flames can only burn bright for one.

Lights out, or sun over gun?

Exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale,
That is what I always remind myself to do. To simply breath.
It's hard when your chest is tight.
Your heart is heavy.
Your mind with thoughts of death.
I am so afraid.
Disappointed and alone.
I am on this journey on my own.
I am at home but still a stranger to my own bones.
I feel my heart pumping.
I see my heart pumping.
Trying to survive.
I forget to breath sometimes.
Just sometimes.
I gasp for air when I remember to breath only to forget a  breath later.
One day I am going to forget and not remember.....

Hum, hum, hum along.
Sing with me (y)our favorite song.
Please listen close, for here, tonight,
You’ll find your comfort in my plight.

Hum, hum, hum along.
Sing if all the words are wrong,
But don’t delay, just hold on tight
And maybe we can sing them right.

Hum, hum, hum along
To every note, both short and long.
Erase your troubles from your sight,
And there it is: your soul’s delight.

Sleep tight.
Let yourself dream
Feel it until you're drawn into it
Settle in the arms that's holding you
Let him kiss your temple and caress your skin
Forget about the world, live and love

Close your eyes.
Let him whisper the words
Hear him out, hear his undying love
Let him embrace your soul
He love you

Rest yourself in the arms of the man who found you.

My Victorian gold bordered mirror
shines the withered teal tides back at me,
wrapping my body in such a way
that doesn’t feel too loose, or too tight.
It's a comforting embrace that reminds me
of the swaddling technique mothers use
on their newborns, so they feel safe again.
Internally, I hope this finally makes me
feel like everything is going to be okay.

A dull doll faced mug
Glinted by unknown light
Dried a drip of ancient drink
Dripped down quite

Hands clasped tight around
A mug of occult confession
Eyes teared as such
A sorrowful expression

Dappled light through glass
Chair scrapped along floor
Spotted plastic tablecloth
Shut tight wooden door

Homemade woollen tea cosy
Lumps of bricked sugar
Kettle whistling dolefully
Clicking stained cooker

Futile arms waving
Closed taught eyes
Sigh of calming thoughts
"Please, no more lies"

Looking into your hazel eyes I found a new world
I learned what it was like to find someone
Who wants every part of you for themselves
I know even now sitting here telling myself
That my heart can't afford to face darkness again
That surely there is going to be a moment
Where you'll look into my eyes
Grab my hands and wrap your fingers between mine
Hold me tight through the night
Wake up in the morning and look at me generously
As your body sinks into mine
And I will fall completely for you
And I will forget what it is like to be alone.

Rumbling seats, walls and sounds.
Gleams of light
Hold me tight

Please..

i need to feel safe again..