Nights like this,
the past hurts a lot.
I still have so many questions,
and none of the answers I get make sense.
I know I'm suppose to be healed by now,
but I don't think I'll ever be better.
Not completely.
I have days and nights where I'm fine.
Then I have days and nights like tonight,
where I just feel uneasy,
and like I just need to be held.
I'm going to be okay.
I know that.
But I go through life with a damaged heart,
and sometimes I just need reassurance.
I just need to know I'm not alone.
I need to know I'm enough.

i want to
just lay without saying a word
no noise, no disturbances
just you, me and our thoughts running wild.
i want us to lay inside and
be each other's safe place
when the world is drowning.
you talk so greatly of things trivial to me
you don't stop to listen to what my mind speaks
im not complaining; i love your voice and articulation
but it would be nice if you gave me a chance to at least whisper.
true, im not the most interesting person
and i have obscure thought processes
and it's boring to be verbal about it
but i just get lost when you ramble on and on
and i can't fit the pieces together a lot of the time.
i'm sure you don't realize that i feel this way
and i'm far too apprehensive to tell you.
my head is a battleground between feeling unwanted
and reassuring myself that i'm just delusional.
i like to think i'm important to you
but i being my insecure self, almost never believe it.
i sound like such a sad sack
and i won't deny that i need constant reassurance
but rather than the world consoling me all the time,
it would be nice if only you, just you,
gave me the time and opportunity
to talk for once.
i adore you. and i know you don't feel the same way about me; i can't even persuade you.
but just let me tell you about myself sometimes, maybe you'll feel differently.
maybe.
sorry.

Hello,
Someone,
Anyone,
Please hear me.
Hello,
Father,
Mother,
Please listen.
There is something I have been meaning to tell you.
The issues in my head won't go away,
and sometimes I look at you and think you don't love me,
I am so insecure about my personality,
So I lie to mask myself.
This anxiety is ripping parts of me away,
The parts that can't be replaced,
There is no transplant to replace my mind.
Hello,
Someone,
Anyone,
Please hear me.
Hello,
Father,
Mother,
Please listen.
There is something I have been meaning to tell you.
I am slowly dying inside and I don't think you understand.
This is serious almost inconspicuous,
So this is what I ask of you,
Please tell me that you love me,
Reassure me that you care,
Bring out myself in me,
and show me that you're there,
This is the only way to get better
Reassurance is key
This will help me put back the me in me.
Sincerely,
A anxiety filled body.