She was a landmark of
            many journeys

The only quandary
            at this moment
is others had travelled
her more than self..

She was a
               penny machine
letting others deposit in her.

But she had left this emotion
                     long ago...

She collected her pennies,
         throwing them angrily
into a wishing well of despair..

Brendan...❤️❤️❤️
His kind words,
Smoothly speak I love you,
Every...
Morning & Night,
His lush lips,
Spill the words I cherish,
His beautiful personality,
Makes my world light up like a street on a dim dark night,
His deep dark hazel eyes,
They peer into my soft soul,
My soft soul smiles as if a cupcake was consumed by a little infant,
Don't get me started on those...
EYEBROWS,
Dark, Brown, Fluffy
They are as if a fluffy woolly bear caterpillar inched on his face,
Made home, and stayed like,
How Brendan has in my life

Why are you like this?
You're making it difficult for me.
You're the only person I'm trying not to miss.
Now, you're doing everything not to leave me be.

You've done something I couldn't understand.
Suddenly, feelings became out of hand.
You shattered my once peaceful dreams.
Then things are not what they seem.

You made me the reason for everything.
But all I hear was an excuse.
You insisted what you did was a good thing.
Then why do I feel I'm being used?

Please don't rekindle a dying flame.
I love you, but not as passionate as before.
Don't feel guilty for you are not to blame.
This is all I can offer, please don't ask for more.

I don't want to feel the same pain.
What we had already ended.
I've moved on, please don't break me again.
My heart's healed. It has been mended.

Doused in empty caskets,
                   littering the floor..

Drink entombed him.

Your sapphire eyes that glow with a ring of fiery hazel
The way your smile lights up the entirety of your face
How your soft lips feel pressed firmly against mine
The peace in your limbs as your drift into sleep
How genuinely good of a person you are
Every line in your hands that I try to memorize with mine
Your beautiful heart and its skipped beats
The passion behind your decisions in life
Your relentlessness even in the face of fear
The undeniable strength you wield that blows my mind daily
Your perseverance despite the hard life you’ve faced
How much of a capacity you possess to love others, good and bad
The sounds of your voice whispering that you love me for the first time
Your vulnerability in sharing your most intimate secrets with me
You

Because you’ll never see the northern lights
because you’ll never travel the world
Because you’ll never get a tattoo
Because you’ll never buy a house
Because you’ll never see your brother get married
Because you’ll never hold a baby
Because you won’t be able to blow out the candle that’s still burning in your room
Because you’ve never had *** with someone who didn’t leave bruises
Because you’ve never touched anyone that you felt oceans for
Because you’ll never get closure
Because I’ll never tell you how I feel
Because you’ll never get over your stage fright
Because your friends care about you
Because maybe you like me too
Because weekends when you are home is all your mother looks forward to
Because your dogs won’t understand why you don’t come home anymore
Because your parents shouldn’t have to bury their daughter
Because your roommate will find you and never forget how you look heaped on the floor
Because you’ll never get ******* tab dividers to organize your ******* binder
Because you can do this
Because there’s a universe inside of you
Because you’ll never finish telling your story
You’re ripping pages out before you’ve read them
Doesn’t it scare you that you’ve only left 23
Because you deserve more
Because it will get better
Because I love you

There are two types of suicide
Kinds that nobody sees
A coward's way out
Or a hero's last ride

Like one last high
That feels like the first time
Fixing all their struggles and blights
As they float off into the eternal night

Because the cowards wanted to die all along
Some just picked up a gun right then
Others picked up a ****
And others decided to run

They're told it makes them happy
Because they are fundamentally weak
When they always knew its a poison
That might not work this week

Or those breaking in on lightning
Because there was never reason
For those who begged to please
But were forced up to a heavenly prison

Saving lives gives a meaning
With the moral set on repeat
And you never stop to think
You can't when your always on your feet

So they all give meaning to an empty dull life
Deciding their different methods
Of walking down the scenic route
To a long suicide