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yúyīn Jul 2018
A nother ****** day
B inging, then throwing up; Hunger
C rying, as usual
D eath sounds comforting
E each day is a struggle
F orcing smiles
G one too soon? Not soon enough
H eaven isn't for people like me.
I nternal struggle—i want to
   die//i want to live ..
J ust one more cut .. Oops, too
   many to count
K ill yourself, my thoughts say
L iving is exhausting
M ore scars
N othing inside. It's hungry. Being
    eaten alive
O h, I woke up this morning, I
    wanted to die
P ain .. So much pain.
Q uit  it!
R est in peace [RIP]
S hut up!
T hese thoughts will be the death
   of me. Tired
U nder the facade is a corpse. Im
    a walking dead
V ery soon i will end it.
W hy should I stay alive? Should
     I **** myself?
X friends, x lovers, goodbye
Y es
Z ero thoughts
26 days since my last failed attempt. I will be successful next time. I have to.
Jessy Dec 2017
People don’t realize
Everything I do
Has a purpose

Why do I have so many key chains on my bag?
So that when I walk it drowns out the sound of my thighs rubbing against each other

Why do I sit sideways on my chair?
So that you don’t see my thighs spilling over the edge on both sides

Why do I always wear jeans?
Because they hold in all my fat

Why do I always wear long sleeves?
So that I can hide the scars on my wrists

Why do I always wear hoodies and sweaters?
Because it hides my body fat

Why do I always straighten my hair?
So that it will frame my face and hide my double chin

Why do I wear four pounds of makeup?
So that I can hide my acne and disgusting face

Why do I play with the ring on my finger so often?
Because I do it whenever I'm anxious, which is often

Why am I always smiling?
Because on the inside I’m breaking but I don’t want you to see

You see
Everything I do
There’s a reason behind it

— The End —