(alternately titled: ah me go march'n home on derange)

I'll play the devil's advocate, yet
prepare a stance with pitchfork
     against misinterpreted faux attempt
     to describe, how whet
d'ya column re: immigration officials coe vet

patrol, police, and poison tranquil casa blanca
     where killer attack dogs fiendishly pin set
     ting sharp fangs at jugular vein of respectful,
     dutiful, and blissful (or at least

     prior to being sniffed out) innocent
     long time laborer on American soil now get
     ting Das Boot to their unfamiliar Motherland
     (despite living social
     as law abiding righteous folks) fret

full, cuz unfairly punished, and
     cruelly deported, dispirited, doomed
     pained visage non verbally articulates
     at un war rented deportation you bet!

with just a flick of the wrist
and alien hated, pigheaded,
     and xenophobic ventriloquist
bring back the Alien and Sedition Acts 

     with a Trumpeting Latina, Hispanic,
     and for good measure Mulatto twist,  
     where original writ (signed into law 
     by President John Adams in 1798), 
     historical footnote, aye cannot resist

spooking (like a ghost), those *** pill 
     born south of the border pooped and ******
in potties of this proud country, sans free and brave 
     now frightfully get flushed out 

glad to feign dis guise 
     as one among select Geronimo cadre 
     we henchman lubricate 
     wheels of injustice myst
     tuff hie hiding dark shadows 
     (along the edge of night) 

     thence paddy wagon comes 
     to screeching halt nabbing 
     an "illegal alien" name on hit list 
code word "bag dad" (biggest quarry)
     and score a win
     for Barren Trump Tah Mahal Incorporated

impossible mission special ops sentry slithers as trained
     fearless to shackle ******* ranked big hest
catch also including ***** prize,
     as you correctly guessed.

Drops of rain engulf the space around me. Burdening my jacket with their fleeting composition. I stare to the clouds with eyes so empty.
Eyes so hollow from this eternal case of melancholia.

My hearts sinks to the catacombs, and there is shall remain.
Stuck in yesterday, yet dreaming of tomorrow. I feel the growing pains as it wishes to escape. To be free of the malady of being alone. To find the one who can nurture it for eternity.

The sun pierces the clouds, reminding me to breathe. Reminding me to smile. To love. I can't deny this beckoning. This call to arms. For even in the dark you must follow your heart. Through atrophy, through apathy, I choose to carry on. Though the path is lost, and full of challenges, I will not give in to the anguish that lies within.

Locked inside

Feeling left out

Living life but life's locked out

Hopes and dreams

Love and laughter

Here for moments then gone so long right after

Helpless thoughts

Within a crowded home

Happiness hides in the basement

While sadness steals the show

Motivation lacks as madness lapses

Running laps around bad habits

Wasting time on time to go’s

Stick around but just for show

No peace of mind until we're lavished

Gone out of mine to find the meaning but still can't grasp it

They say to live your life as if you're dying

Every second counts yet life's untimely

But what's the point when living blindly

Futures fate

The pasts behind me

Took a chance

But life's denied me

Lost my faith

Got it back

By a thread

About to snap

Here I sit

Trying to stand

Fight the demons

Be a man

Lost in the ocean

Cant find land

Life's a struggle

No upper hand

Empty notions

Glass half full

Lost my way

So long ago

Now im caged

Stuck in a hole

Fleeting strength

The depth just grows

I  must be willing

This I know

Climb back up

However slow

Do not wait

Get up and go

Times against me

Stop saying no

Afraid of heights

But feeling low

Use all my might

Trudge through the snow

I will not stop

Until I'm happy

Until I’m whole

I will not stop

I  w i l l  n o t  s t o p

Until I reach my goals

Every step of mine
Is in your pursuit.
Wherever you may be
You are in my vision

When the bond is of pain,
Then how bad is separation.
As only they get separated,
That were always wanted.

You are hidden within,
In my heart my friend.
If not inside my smiles,
Then surely in my grimaces.

Every step of mine
Is in your pursuit.
Wherever happiness is
There lies my success.

I saved my sanity.
Wandering, lost in Chiang Mai.
The Child, bewildered,
At all the greatest treasures.

Yet a map had not revealed
The back-alleys, hidden between gazes.
In the weave of foreign air,
There lies a curious urge
To explore.

Pondering.
You took me around,
Aimless at cause, but
Genuine in eagerness.
You smile speaks in stars.

Taking in the blue jar,
Laughter over mind.
Thinking in balance,
The necessity in fun:

Every story, an adventure,
Every sip, diving deeper,
Every shot, poetic.
All in days of conversation.

Yet, what lies in fatal attraction,
Pulling me towards you.
Your state of mind;
Your insecurities, your imperfections.
You were lost too.

Life had not yet reveal
The answer to your questions, and
You stand in frustration, without
The sanctimony of
Comfort.

Let me add to yours.
Would you take my hand?
Share this journey with me, as I give you
The chance to find your pursuit?

Maybe, just maybe.
We'll have the end in Chiang Mai.