When I first saw you I felt as if you were the girl I've been looking for I had waited almost all my life for this moment to arrive And when it did, All I had to do was spread the colours of love on my canvas and seize the beauty of the moment forever.
But never in my heart, I felt you were mystifying The harder I tried to love you, the more you slipped into your shell There was something special about you, something I couldn't decipher And for the very first time, I failed at art
I dream of us reuniting as the water reunites with the sand and carries it along So I could get to express the love I kept suppressed beneath But I don't know if ever in this life, you will come back With a frail twine of hope, I now breathe
I witness the lazy sunset on our favourite beach alone, every day Which once we did together in one another's arms I write your name on the sand, hoping for the water to not wash it away Not before you come back and I fall for your subtlest charms
I sit for hours, from dusk till dawn, waiting for you to return So we could sleep by the water and wake up to the sun Watch the sky turn tangerine and then paint it all black And sleep under the stars while the tides sing us lullabies. Oh, such fun.
And if you ever come back, I will first kiss your lips and caress you whole So you could immerse all the love and keep it sealed in between your ribs Only then I will always be close to your heart like you are to my soul And a fire will ignite, helping us keep the love and the burning desire alive.
Weeks passed, so did days and months Half drowned in your love, I am now living a barren life The shards of hope that once glued us together Are now crushed to death, reflecting my shattered self
The echoes of deep silences no longer scare me They are way better than your silence Your last hit is etched in my mind like our first kiss It haunts me so much that nothing at all makes even a tad bit of sense
I don't shy away from darkness. I now try to live with it Even if I am free from your shackles, my mind is lost It is trying to find enough strength to gather hatred plenty So it could stitch the bruises you caused
No longer in your arms, in an empty hole, I feel trapped Getting out of which seems completely unimaginable So drenched in the rain of emptiness I am That even in the heaviest downpour, though alone, I aim at being stable
In a shell, I have been. My petals closed for long Shattered since your departure, I haven't sung a song In the breeze, standing tall, dancing to the rhythm Amongst all the other blossoms, white; blue; and crimson
Bruised and blanched I might seem on the outside On the inside, I know I am lowly wild It's just me who thought the tears I cried Washed away my colour, canary yellow and so bright
The scars I wear cannot obscure my grace For I know, the clouds of these blemishes will be the ones stopping the chase And when they do, I will be free from the shackles of my mind I will bloom brighter than ever. Not for a moment, I will feel confined
Emptiness is devouring me alive I feel alone, even when I have a company Of the people I love of the people I don't My mind is drowned in the thought of self-doubt of which from long I had no epiphany.
I am having a hard time expressing myself There are loads of things I have to say A sense of inferiority has settled into my bleak thoughts Knowing there are many people to whom I can, silent I stay
Anxiety has me trapped. I feel suffocated My ribs are strangled. I cannot breathe, I am in pain I no longer know whom to speak to and whom to not All my efforts towards all the people have always gone in vain
The people I once had a close touch with Have now become mere memories. The ones tickling me bliss, the ones inciting grief I am invisible to all though, I am always right there I am tired of getting ignored. I feel like I am an ugly withered leaf
I live with my skull crammed with too many thoughts My body half drenched in the sorrow of your absence. I live with my heart stitched with enormous strings of hope While my soul lingers in the shadows, awaiting your presence.
Camouflaging all the woes, I tried to love you with all my heart I knew my body and not my soul was your greed Every time I looked for a reason to love you; You gave me another one as to why not, I perceived
Yet, all this time, I kept lingering in the shadows Waiting for you to come find me I kept hiding behind the veil Hoping one day you'd see the world, the way I see
I feel ecstatic when I dance in the dark Not around anyone, just alone in the night Forgetting all the sorrows, abandoning all the miseries Under the stars and the bright moonlight
As I look up in the sky, my eyes glisten with tears Though being ensnared, I feel I can be saved from my loneliness For the stars are my best friends and the moon is my love And I know that they’ll stay forever, knowing I am a complete mess
Even if we are miles away, I believe the moon loves me too For in the shadow of darkness, he’s the one who lights up my life When I close my eyes and spread my arms, I feel his body caressing mine His warmth helps me fight my inner demons as I hold him tight. He helps me thrive.
When you and I were together My soul was feisty and I was full of fire When I looked you in the eye, my eyes gleamed an enraptured caressing look My heart was full of passion and desire But when you left The fire in me though not finished; was almost extinguished I realised my soul was burnt to embers The smouldering pieces of my body that once ignited a fire Were now ready to fade Like our love eventually did.
We spent hours witnessing the fall of leaves in autumn The way they swayed away with the breeze A bonfire in the moonlight and you by my side I wish I would've wished for the time to freeze. I never wanted to wave the final goodbye, you had me captivated Instead, all I urged was us to lay on the ground, love and tease And do nothing but gaze at the falling leaves Feel the air in my hair and together breathe out all the grief.