When I first saw you
I felt as if you were the girl I've been looking for
I had waited almost all my life for this moment to arrive
And when it did,
All I had to do was spread the colours of love on my canvas and seize the beauty of the moment forever.

But never in my heart, I felt you were mystifying  
The harder I tried to love you, the more you slipped into your shell
There was something special about you, something I couldn't decipher
And for the very first time, I failed at art

I dream of us reuniting as the water reunites with the sand and carries it along
So I could get to express the love I kept suppressed beneath
But I don't know if ever in this life, you will come back
With a frail twine of hope, I now breathe

I witness the lazy sunset on our favourite beach alone, every day
Which once we did together in one another's arms  
I write your name on the sand, hoping for the water to not wash it away
Not before you come back and I fall for your subtlest charms

I sit for hours, from dusk till dawn, waiting for you to return  
So we could sleep by the water and wake up to the sun
Watch the sky turn tangerine and then paint it all black
And sleep under the stars while the tides sing us lullabies. Oh, such fun.

And if you ever come back, I will first kiss your lips and caress you whole
So you could immerse all the love and keep it sealed in between your ribs
Only then I will always be close to your heart like you are to my soul
And a fire will ignite, helping us keep the love and the burning desire alive.

Weeks passed, so did days and months
Half drowned in your love, I am now living a barren life
The shards of hope that once glued us together
Are now crushed to death, reflecting my shattered self

The echoes of deep silences no longer scare me
They are way better than your silence
Your last hit is etched in my mind like our first kiss
It haunts me so much that nothing at all makes even a tad bit of sense

I don't shy away from darkness. I now try to live with it
Even if I am free from your shackles, my mind is lost
It is trying to find enough strength to gather hatred plenty
So it could stitch the bruises you caused

No longer in your arms, in an empty hole, I feel trapped
Getting out of which seems completely unimaginable
So drenched in the rain of emptiness I am
That even in the heaviest downpour, though alone, I aim at being stable

Emptiness is devouring me alive
I feel alone, even when I have a company
Of the people I love of the people I don't
My mind is drowned in the thought of self-doubt of which from long I had no epiphany.

I am having a hard time expressing myself
There are loads of things I have to say
A sense of inferiority has settled into my bleak thoughts
Knowing there are many people to whom I can, silent I stay

Anxiety has me trapped. I feel suffocated
My ribs are strangled. I cannot breathe, I am in pain
I no longer know whom to speak to and whom to not
All my efforts towards all the people have always gone in vain

The people I once had a close touch with
Have now become mere memories. The ones tickling me bliss, the ones inciting grief
I am invisible to all though, I am always right there
I am tired of getting ignored. I feel like I am an ugly withered leaf

I live with my skull crammed with too many thoughts
My body half drenched in the sorrow of your absence.
I live with my heart stitched with enormous strings of hope
While my soul lingers in the shadows, awaiting your presence.  

Camouflaging all the woes, I tried to love you with all my heart
I knew my body and not my soul was your greed
Every time I looked for a reason to love you;
You gave me another one as to why not, I perceived

Yet, all this time, I kept lingering in the shadows
Waiting for you to come find me
I kept hiding behind the veil
Hoping one day you'd see the world, the way I see

I feel ecstatic when I dance in the dark
Not around anyone, just alone in the night
Forgetting all the sorrows, abandoning all the miseries
Under the stars and the bright moonlight
 
As I look up in the sky, my eyes glisten with tears
Though being ensnared, I feel I can be saved from my loneliness
For the stars are my best friends and the moon is my love
And I know that they’ll stay forever, knowing I am a complete mess
 
Even if we are miles away, I believe the moon loves me too
For in the shadow of darkness, he’s the one who lights up my life
When I close my eyes and spread my arms, I feel his body caressing mine
His warmth helps me fight my inner demons as I hold him tight. He helps me thrive.

When you and I were together
My soul was feisty and I was full of fire
When I looked you in the eye, my eyes gleamed an enraptured caressing look
My heart was full of passion and desire
But when you left
The fire in me though not finished;
was almost extinguished
I realised my soul was burnt to embers
The smouldering pieces of my body
that once ignited a fire
Were now ready to fade
Like our love eventually did.

We spent hours witnessing the fall of leaves in autumn
The way they swayed away with the breeze
A bonfire in the moonlight and you by my side
I wish I would've wished for the time to freeze.
I never wanted to wave the final goodbye, you had me captivated
Instead, all I urged was us to lay on the ground, love and tease
And do nothing but gaze at the falling leaves
Feel the air in my hair and together breathe out all the grief.

The waves are calling me
I think it’s time I go now
The thoughts are crashing inside my head
Like the waves crash on the shore
 
Maybe if I listen to their calling
And get immersed into the depth of the ocean
They will decimate me once and for all
And finally, I will be in peace. With no hurt, no emotion
 
I certainly don’t mean anything to anyone
I think it’s time I go and untie the knot
I got caught in the mayhem. My mind is drained
From asking thyself, whether to quit or not?