Footprints left in the sand
here I am walking with the blues
Nowhere specific to go
No thought nor plan beforehand
Naked mind, no body ruse
Before I get real low
A beach walk to wake my talk.

Listening to my inside mind
As one footprint follows
Footprint not too far behind
Moving, just to hide
The loneliness inside

Naked feet, pocketed hands
Imprint a time inside of me
A time of shifting sands
Unsettled like the beach dunes
For awhile, oh so temporarily.

He closed his eyes on his weekly stroll,
And pondered on what it would be; if he'd known,
That it'd be a golden paved death - he'd lay with his dole.
Would all the trench boys still ****** to dug out holes?

Many bitter nights with malice to his brain,
Thought lasting the hardship would be the 'all okay'.
The flag would save him; The flag would eradicate the pain,
But the flag hollowed him out and the trench boys all the same.

What must we do in such a caviler present age?
Sign petitions in false hope of changing the unchanged?
The ol' trench boys still rot in sheltered accommodation.
Gave their live; their youth; their back and front tooth,
For their isolated treasured nation.

I hate to admit it but time has changed everything.
How that our once endless talks have come to a stop.
How that our promises of staying together forever are no more kept.
How that there are thousans many thing to wept.
How that you don't want to see me any longer.
It hurts.
I have never asked you in the very first place to be a part of my life.
I have never asked you to help me with my state of loneliness.
I have never asked for a life with some decent friends.
I have never asked you to change me from an introvert to somewhat of an extrovert.
I have never asked to inflict pain upon me.
I have never asked you to leave me after you are done.
I have never asked you to leave me in agony for one more time.
I have never asked you to just go away of me.
I have never asked you to just ignore me.
I have never asked
you to make me cry..........
Then why?
Why you made me your priority once?
Why have you now dumped me now like this, as if i never mattered to you.
Time seem to have changed you
As well as your priorities....... :(

I hate it when you go silent all of a sudden.
I hate to observe, how the length of our conversation shorten day by day.
You are so busy in your own world that you don't have even time for me.
You were and you still are my world.
Whenever there is a text, i hope it's from you.
Whenever my phone rings, i pray i get to hear your voice from the other side.
Whenever i laugh, it reminds me of all the time that we have spent together.
Whenever i cry, it reminds me of all those tears which you have dried.
Whenever i look back at my past, i see memories........
Our memories.......
They are still holding me, governing my actions......they are still there by my side.
Everything, every place, every face from those memories is almost the same except for you.
You have somehow moved on leaving me behind with that hollow promise of never leaving me. ......

I'm rushed out of my house,
Torn out of a clean smell,
My white floors,

It's soon replaced with the smell of burnt hair,
And my eyes are a bit clouded.

I know I should evacuate,
But I can't find my friends,
Or family,
In this ashen air,

The air is silent,
Torrid and burly,
Dark,

I don't know where to go,
Or what to do,

The space around me is sweltering,
And I can barely make out blurs of red and orange, Solvent,

I realize the sky isn't silent,
But soundproof,
I can hear subdued screams,

Crying of babies,
Vociferating mothers,
Agonized friends,
And shrill screeches,

It all overwhelms me at first,
The crumbling destitution, calamity,
Because I realize,
It had to be my fault,
For not running,
For not saving anyone,

I proved everyone right, didn't I?

My friends,
My family,
They're gone,
They've left, haven't they?

Seized by this vehement heat,
and ****** lava,
Frenzied gas,
Eliminated immediately,

I can tell it's truly nobody's fault,
But for some reason,
It feels exactly like it's mine,
As if I made this volcano explode,

I'm paralyzed,
Next to you,
My kingdom of dirt exploding around us,
Gas filling our noses,

Next to you,
My dearest, suffering friend,
And we'll be stuck together,

Suffering together,
And we meet eyes,
Scintillating flames, a pause

And as I stand there, watching in horror,
I can feel something rather decalescent sink my foot into earth,
An acidic silt jogging around it,
And I can hear myself struggle to scream into the ozone sky,

And the only sight I can see,
Is you,
Gasping for air,
And I can feel the lava overtake my legs,
And the vehement of the earth stings,
And we're stuck,

As our last words blur together,
Words of friendship,
And words of forgiveness,

We forgive eachother,
Although it's nobody's fault,
But this vehement earth,
This nefarious kingdom of dirt,

And as we meet gazes one last time,
I try to tell you to run, I shove you away,
But I only cause you to sink deeper into the lava,
I try to tell you again and again,
to run, to do anything,
But I can't,
And my eyes blur over,

And for some reason,
I can see my breath in the air,
One last time,
And I'm gone,

And so are you,
Forever stuck in this rut,
Two stone figures stuck in heated earth,
Like the figures in Pompei
Smolten statues,
Shortened apologies,
Unable to move,

Forever stuck,
On this smolten earth.

The final call
Breathe,
Slow and gentle,
Like your trying to make a candle flicker,
The darkness shifts shapes,
In and out,
(how else would you breath?
Up down?),
Smile,
Practice your face,
Carefully control each muscles contraction,
Tightening,
To create a (forced) relaxed face,
You spiral your hair around your finger,
Wind and unwind,
Twist your fingers around each other,
Tangle into bending shapes,
Stop,
Smile,
Just be normal for five ******* minutes.

Curtains up
The act has started,
No mistakes,
The shell must be maintained,
No cracks,
‘I’m fine’ (I’m breaking),
‘everything is great’ (everything hurts),
‘I will be okay’ (I want to die),
Look carefree,
Sylphlike.
Your cracking,
Your (pretending to be) tall,
Holding the space,
The room,
As much as your (small) body can,
Your actions exaggerated,
Slowed,
They see only (the fake) you.

Curtains fall
Just in time.
They cant know,
No muscles in your face contract,
This is you,
Dead eyed, dejected you,
The candle has blown out,
Smoke rises from the wick,
Curling,
Choking you,
Until you convulse,
Until your reflection shatters,
Lines cut through you,
The pieces fall on to the floor,
And you are empty.

Black,
Bleak,
A shadow.

Curtain call

Imagine a blackhole
A contortion in the fabric of space
Twisting it to breaking point
Formed by a star collapsing into itself
Running out of fuel
Nothing can escape

That is me
In me
Around me

Imagine a river
And a boat
And people on the boat
The rapids of the water
The same speed as the boat travelling
Upwards
Going nowhere

That is the event horizon
Light at a loss
Gravity is an equal

I am there
Desperate
And tired
And worn out
And fatigued
And going nowhere

What
Is
The
Point?

Why don’t I stop?
Let myself fall in
Just let go
Just end this
pain

I am in the black hole
Simultaneously obliterating into pieces
Incinerating
And no one knows
No one can see
No one can see this me

I’m just freefalling