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Matthew Chen Apr 25
3 am
And still up
What must be going on
I must wonder

Deep silence
With just a small breeze of wind
I walk towards the valley of shadows
As I begin my mysterious journey

I ask myself
Why am I doing this
Who knows
The answer may be up ahead

My mind blanks out
Staring from afar
As I try to move
I remain paralyzed

Oh, how did I end up like this
I shouldn't have gone out
I might be either seeing the graveyard
Or the Warzone itself
Two things: I'm either physically awake or awake in spirit
Matthew Chen Feb 18
Let me sleep eternally in my casket
I believe that there's no time
For me to keep going

I don't know how long will this take
So please
Leave and let me go

I've done enough
To survive this fight
I don't have the strength
To go on

My time has come
Forget all the wrong that I've done
Let me leave you with this
When you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Matthew Chen Nov 2019
Oh what have I done
I have betrayed my own
How could it be
I shall hide and depart

Take what you need
Leave no trace behind
Play it safe
No turning back

I am ashamed of my doing
What have I become
I have played the victim
For the devil's deed is done

Will God save me now
I fear for what's to come
I shall run faster
Until I have nowhere to run
And die in abandonment
Don't we have our own Judas in us?
Matthew Chen Nov 2019
As I lay on my bed
Two to three hours later
I feared that "it" happened

I hear eerie voices in my head
The cold air touching my smooth skin
Eyes bloodshot without even daring to blink
For he is after me

Smoke coming in underneath the door
The hard knocking of the door
With a deep demonic voice of demand
Screaming, "LET ME IN!"

From that moment
I froze
Not a single sound to be heard
Not even one step

But low and behold
He found his way in me
"Welcome to your living nightmare!"

As I stared at my reflection
I began seeing visions
Visions that no other human being can see
With the naked eye

I've seen my past and future
I will never survive this tyranny
From that night
I knew I had to do

Goodbye, world
May your light never shine upon me again
Because once I am gone
Nobody will remember me
I've been through hell and back, and now it's just becoming a cycle. When will this ever end?
Matthew Chen Oct 2019
Red
Red is a sign of valor
The color of my haemoglobin
And the color of the Reality Stone

Red is an unstable color
My eyes have seen too much
I’ve seen everything
My reality is cursed

Red is the bloodshed on the ground
Nobody to scream for help
Not even a single person alive
My world is broken

Red is a sign of hopelessness and abandonment
I will keep on fighting until I really have nothing left
I will stand and never back down
Until I fight and bleed no more

Just when I thought that my world was at peace
I was wrong
My reality was cursed with just one red stone

Red is a curse
I only see blood and nothing else
As my blood flow comes out of my flesh
I see nothing but the reality of this world

Red is the color of my traumatic past
I see myself on the corner
Scarring myself on my left arm
My blood was held accountable for my PTSD
Matthew Chen Mar 2019
It was weeks since she passed
As if she was one of the victims of The Snap
Shades of Infinity War
It's been a gloomy year

I thought it'd be the year of rainbows and unicorns
But tables turned early
As it started off with grey skies and heavy rain
Not even a ray of sunshine in sight

Continuous pouring and mourning
Not even a single sight of happiness
A casket with her body in it
Lying breathless in her eternal sleep

Friends and family gather around
To look at her for the last time
As the eulogy commenced
There was a sense of joy after

Then I knew from that day
There's a celebration after all
For every mourning there's dancing
As worship songs were playing

We all know she's in Heaven
No more pain
No more crying
No more hurting

She's lifted off in the happiest place
We may not know when will we see her again
But one thing's for sure
She's with our Creator
For Gia.
Matthew Chen Jan 2019
I know it hurts so much
For me to hear you say it
Though I understand you
We must move on by then

It's hard for me to process
But I have to face it all
In order for me to move on
I have to erase our memories together

The first time I met you
It felt like we were meant to be
My heart was skipping a beat
As I approached you with confidence

We began going out in a low-key manner
Still with friends
Getting to know you slowly
And getting comfortable with one another

Until one day
You gave me a text that we need to meet
I felt the excitement jumping in me
Only to find out that it was the complete opposite on that Saturday

You said you weren't ready and we're still young
I told my intentions to you
But that would mostly be the last time I talked to you
And see you

I know that someone else will love you much better than me
His efforts would mean much more than mine
I pray that you'll remember all the good times we had together
And now it's time for me to tell you that it's time to let me go
The hardest thing that struck me about this poem was that we parted ways, and never got in touch. It hurts, but what can I do? It is what it is, and this was after high school/early summer.
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