I would like to say that You are mine
but sometimes our words can't define.
As long as I hold You dearly in my heart
there would not be a reason to feel apart.
_____

What a day of frustration it was
An eccentric masterpiece on stained canvas
And tho I like rains,
Seems like heaven poured me so much pains

I tried to be chill when
Regrets tried to haunt me again
1, 2 or 3 years ago
Dead end. I couldn't go

Still remember lines of disappointments
In their tired, disgusted faces
As I put my head down,
I knew I won "Ms. Miserable" crown

"It'll be fine. If not, just know it will"
An everyday lie of my mastered field
And if gets harder, more pressure pressing over me
I will repeat a cycle of negative positivity

Because if not,
What will I got?
I have to be strong
I will be strong

They were good to me; too good
I wanted them; too much
I was addicted to them

Her mother was a breath of smoke
her gentle grey curls sooth me whenever we met
she surrounded me with sense of comfort, a sense of belonging
I needed her, and she knew I needed her

Her father was the tobacco
his presence left a sweet taste in my mouth
he was always there for me; he never left me
I craved him, and he knew I craved him

She was the cigarette connecting me to them
She drew me in with her charm
her sleek, slender, beautiful body making me want her
I could hold her, and she wanted me to hold her

I knew my fate
I had seen relatives go and never come back
crumbled, destroyed never to be desired again
broken in half, forgotten, hated ridiculed, blamed
I knew my fate, but I didn’t care

They were good to me; too good
I wanted them; too much
I was addicted to them

Vermillion scarred skin.
Your lips bring blood
back to me.