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Stephanie Sep 24
We're just staying under the same roof
Eating the same foods, sharing the same goods
How about the "how was your day?"
How about the thank you's and I'm sorry
How about the hugs when we fail
How about the forehead kisses when in pain
You all just said I love you when all I want is to feel it
We supposed to be a whole
But over the years, we are just pretending
We are just pieces that has been gathering together
I am sorry, I ran out of adhesive 
Now, I am comfortable to watch us broken.
Stephanie Sep 16
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Since I could not stop the pain,
I just taught myself to love it.




It is working :>




I cut the flesh that covers me
I cut the only thing that truly protects me


Then there is blood.


Red. Vibrant. Brave.
That was the last beautiful thing that I saw


Til my eyes are no longer heavy
Tears burst like they wanna come out for years
--


Then there was my wrist, pumping heavily
As always
I wonder why I have this very shallow pulse
That you could easily notice in one look

I have a two sided sword
But in a cute size


Nah, it gives the same satisfaction of pain.


Billie Eilish songs overpowered the silence



I love this.




My definition of peace and pleasure came into the form of violence.


~~~~~~~~~

ZZzzzzzz....



Awaken, I heard the other ego
Saying go
you will love it.



I wish I was alive.


The bells rang, I had to go.
Hello, welcome home. -nobody
Stephanie Sep 10
Ily
I can hate my life forever
But still love one part of it
And that is you
Ily.
Stephanie Sep 3
How far can our minds could take us?
Mine brought me in a place so full of you
Where there exists so many figures and I'm almost lost
Little did I know that an idealist mind can break itself too

I came to crossover between the red lines and see you
I thought of salvation, but oh, it seems to be danger
Either a made up one or maybe an existing one
I don't know, I'm still searching for answers in your words

Having the urge to feel so I would know that it's real
Because I couldn't trust my reckless mind anymore
It could be the most treacherous thing in the world
I want reassurance when troubles feel at home in me
decode
Stephanie Sep 2
Di bale nang masaktan,
Wag niyo lang ako pagsinungalingan.


//


I would rather take the pain of honesty,
Just please don't lie to me.
Stephanie Sep 2
I almost made it
I almost have my dream confidence
But why am I here
At a point where I still do my best
For the world to be impressed
Covering up with a smile,
Finding myself convincing the world
AGAIN
That I am enough by just being me..


I'm not tired of reminding people how wonderful and lovely they are, that's what I always believe


...But I guess I couldn't help my own self anymore
...
Stephanie Aug 29
It all starts with I want to
Like
I want to gather myself
Even if it is parted into many pieces
I want to see myself
Ceasing the fire that is fed by insecurities
I want to be better
At being myself, not to be somebody else
I want to be that good daughter,
Even if I think I'm not that smart
I want to find peace and live it
Even it is too chaotic to start right now
I want to gather myself
And build all of these

It all starts with I want to
And I wanna end this with I will.
c'mon self, we have a battle to win.
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