My jet-lagged self sleeps early,
wakes early, sleeps again, reads.
Having watched one movie too many over summer
I relish the sounds designed above- a click
of a door handle, bare warm socks gliding
across wooden floor, the scrunch of toothbrush
against the rusting metal straightening yellowing teeth,
the few lone cars across the street, that hazy
early sound that only light can make as it
becomes aware of itself in my dorm room. What
kind of camera lens would make this moment more
livable and is it already dead?

When I die,
Do not talk about me
Like I am the most wonderful person
To have ever graced this Earth;

Instead, tell them I am mad.
How my ***** nails dug ugly scars
Within my dark, burning soul
Fed with rage uncontrolled.

Tell them I am selfish.
With an eye for love I have not
That my heart rejoices but in sorrow
Only coldness and loath would grow.

Tell them I am broken.
That these crevices that he left
In the regions of my heart
Will not ever heal completely again.

That I walked wide-eyed yet half-awake
Torn between the fantasy of his lips so sweet,
And the gleam of his pointed teeth.

Tell them all my sins.
My uglies.
My glories.
And only after that,
That then,

Maybe you can tell them I was beautiful.


©Leigh
Feb. 14, 2017

It was amid the conflagration,
That I saw you, sheltered by awe,
And upon that field, where I struggling stood,
Your eyes bore upon me.
The ground was rent with the devil's snare,
The air befuddled by his mystique,
Yet your lure brought me strength.
I crawled through the bloodstained mists,
Over the entrails of a shattered humanity,
And you stood smiling at the door.
I had upon me nought but the sweltering radiance,
For the shadow, he took refuge beyond you
Your fire was my support, your glory was my shield.
I was not lost. For within you lay deliverance.
Labour it was that pushed me forth,
As the abyss of nothing was upon me
The bogs of dereliction lay under my feet. I fell.
The perfumed grass that was under yours beckoned,
I progressed.
And though I battered my demons to reach your sanctuary, you slithered away
There was sorrow behind me,
And ahead, enticing me you stood.
But I cannot reach you.
My strength has been sapped by this journey
My vitals have been beaten into submission
I shall fall here .
Perhaps it is your quest alone that is transcendental
It may be that you are but a mirage .
Even so, as I give away to that eternal night,
Your light flickers in my pupils.
I am lost in sight of your being.
You are the death of me.

The sun moves through the sky so quickly,
and you sit there and look, while the moon rises swiftly.
But the friend of the Gods, still can't call on the rain.
He cannot do a thing he couldn't even destroy young Cain.
A gun in the hand of a one eyed man,
destroys any dreams of the half minded lamb.
Removing so many of the mice you called men,
destroying the oath made from the princes demand.
Killing the things that desire only life,
to dress the rich men in clothes from the sacrificed.
Why evil men? Do you know what you've lost?
The trust of the people. Has this ever been worth the cost?
Luckily, this is all that's been told, we have to write the story.
We'll write it alone, correctly for us, write it in gold, and write our glory.

We love having pets because they are helpless enough to know us as masters,
But we are frightened because we know they can slip away and become their own masters,
Oh the treachery of power,
The deceit of glory,
For I know,
And even you know,
Deep down,
That to contain the energy of a small animal makes you no master,
It grants no power,
The real power lies in the ability to release something that can destroy you,
And to conquer the thing that has the capacity to devour you.

The feel of skin on skin,
The feeling of clothes being pulled torn off,
The push of her hands to make me move,
The feel of her hands trailing over my body,
The tingle the leave,
The feel of luxurious lips kissing my skin,
The final push the gasp of pleasure,
The joining of two hearts and soul,
The glorious Ecstasy.

Have me i'm yours.
Take me i'm yours.
Own my i'm yours.

I'm Yours.

There was a vine
A flowered vine
Growing on a fence
Poking out the cracks

Someone cut them down
Wrangled them together
And tossed them
In the trash next to mine

Days later
In the middle of the night
Our garbage cans contents
Were pulled out
And scattered next to the ally

Night owl me,
Brought another bag
Found the mess outside
And put the 'waste'
Back in its place

The lid says "NO YARD WASTE"
So I left the abused plant
Where it fell
On the cold concrete sidewalk

With no sleep to show for
The sun rises
The tangled, cut,
Unwanted fence ****
Lay there in the light
Smiling purple blooms
In all their glory

They told me to tell their story

The battle is over
Vanquished is the foe
Yet why triumph trusts
So bitter, so hollow?

In the eye of my mind
Each enemy was a villain.
Yet when I saw it true.
Were no monsters, just men.

Men, much like us,
Trying to do what's right.
Our perceptions at odds
Mirroring the sides of the fight.

Warring for Lords
Who use us as pawns
Is glory so great, risking
The sight of another dawn?

T'was not the war
But the pillage that came after
Fashioned my doubt of men
Heeding the devil on their shoulder.

Noble causes forgotten
Once reaping the spoils of war
The blood of innocents staining
Mens' honors and their swords.

The crowds cheer our names,
Place on our heads, Hero's crowns.
I paste a smile on my face.
It's my heart that wears a frown.

Memories
Are still so clear
would you like to listen?
Cause it's hard to deal
With all of these alone
The scars would heal
What about my broken heart?
Would you ever care
about what I feel
Cold walls would only know
About my fears
You can ask them
About voices I hear
But what is about to change?
You always disappear
You think I'm mad
But can't u see my tears?
You think I laugh
If you only see my mask
Then you must
forget about past
I'll keep this memory
I'll walk down the same street
And watch our glory
That probably would be dead
You'll be the murderer
And it will be
Alive in my sheets