I thought my barriers were too high
I was certain that it will not fall
I guarded my heart
It was locked and kept
I buried it six feet under the ground
I hid it where nobody can find it
I considered it dead

But little did I know
It was me who broke down my wall
It was me who dug my heart
It was me who offered my dead cold heart

It was funny he kept it
Oh no
It was funny to think that he'd keep it
He clutched my heart and I lost my breath
Isn't it ironic, how he killed my dead heart?
It was funny, I am certain.
I thought I was numb but ****, it ******* hurts

Your love for your man was like an ocean
Its getting deeper
Every time you sail to see his wonders
You thought you were safe
You thought you could swim
Until the storm came
The waves came running
Thunders rumbling
It destroyed your boat
You fell
And again you thought you were safe
You thought "I trust him, I will not drown"
But slowly, bit by bit
You didn't know
You were devoured by this love
You thought it was beautiful
You thought there were beautiful corals
You thought there were colorful fishes
But all you saw was thick muds
On the ocean floor
You reached the abyss
Dark crevices hovered around you
You got scared
You swam back
Trying to reach the surface
You swam back
Wishing to breathe again
But his gravity pushed you down
Your body became numb
You can't swim anymore
Your prescence disappeared
Your soul turned into words—"My love, I fought. I tried. But I'm weak and I drowned"

i skipped down the hallway
with a smile on my face.

i nearly slipped,
but grabbed hold of reality just in time.

- v.m

my head fell today
she fell and rotated
around where then where and how
it is not clear how it was rotating
and in what place

she fell and fell
fell and fell as if forever
my head blushed
and blushed and sadness tore
tore my heart and light

but the rebirth of rebirth
all this was I shouted
this degeneration is rebirth
is a new and new harmony
new thoughts and new feelings

25.08.18

I fell out of love
with the thought of
falling in love.

Letting go of you means
letting go of so much more
you don't understand.
Don't expect me to change on demand.
This is by far my
biggest emotional release.
It wont be anything like taking off a fleece.
I feel it unwinding,
each memory rewinding.
Old times that cant help remindin'
how hard it is at findin'
real love.
At one point I thought
you were from
above,
but then I realized
you fell
& you were supposed
to fall to
hell.
You rung my bell,
now I've got this story to tell.
You're another demon to fight.
while the rest
keep me up at night.

crying was like rain
crying fell from the sky
and glass
and glass
tore up papers
tore hands

crying is unbearable
wailing tore my soul
and not mine and others
Chinese in one far country
somewhere in the future
or in the past

about crying
time you're crying
I'm you time
about crying
glass

05.07.18

Today and tomorrow
I'm happy
Now and last minute
I was sad
I do not know what is what is happening to me
How can I be now
And why am I both happy at the same time
And sad

Love
love
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh

All the time I think about her
All the time she's alone in my head
Rain outside her voice window
Sunlight is her smile

Love
love
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh

I think I fell in love
I think I fell in love
I think I fell in love
I think I fell in love

Love
love
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh

2017