And after the storm the wind scatters
You take stock of how much of yourself you’ve lost  
Checking for new scars and bones rattled
Reeling from the shell shock
Picking up the now rearranged thesis of who you are
Dusting off your soul and it’s unrecognizable in the light
So you sit there in silence
Fathoming every reason you’re still alive
You dive a little deeper
Delving secrets from the mind
You can’t describe what you’re seeking
But it feels like paradise
An infinite calm but only out of the corner of your sight
Contact is imminent
But perhaps this isn’t the time
If not now then when?
It’s the same question presented to you at the eye
After you’ve splayed into everything you will see in ice and shadows
But as you are it stands for something out of reach
And then wind picks up again
As every storm is not without meaning

sweet oxygen fills me lungs
as i inhale a new start, a fresh
perspective of all that ive known
as i exhale your spite and
how i've always been second
best in your eyes.

darling i am much more than second best, and i cannot wait to love myself again.

Shadows slash across the field as smoke and saxophone lull the tense muscles of my back.
Inhale smoke.
Exhale soul.
Streetlights paint the road orange and pollute the night above.
Sirens and hum of the city permiate the air.
Inhale smoke.
Exhale mind.
Doors locked to keep out strangers sweating with desperation.
Lights off to hide from supposed watching eyes.
Inhale smoke.
Exhale self.

In exhalation
                       my life
was breathed
        on all I knew...

Love is inhaling deeply and losing the ability to exhale
Inhaling the small details
The moments
The feelings
Anything I could breathe on

Yet i couldnt exhale
Better yet i wouldnt
Because i was afraid
Afraid
Of losing you
Of the moments
Of the memories

Of your love


Inhale

With each attempt I make, it would leave a burning pang in my lungs
It slowly suffocated me as I breathe in the unwelcomed pain

Inhale inhale

It was an overdose of emotions
A rollercoaster ride
A greedy attempt

I was greedy
Greedy of your love
It tormented you each time i inhaled
Each time I inhaled more and more of you
Because it took away your humanity

Inhale inhale inhale

It made you afraid
Afraid that if you leave
I would suffocate
Lose myself
Die

But I forgot
I forgot that you needed to breathe too
That you also needed to inhale the same love I greedily took from you
I didnt realize that you struggled to breathe for love
Love that's supposed to be meant for two

Till you died

Inhale inhale inha...

It was difficult now
Inhaling didnt feel the same anymore
Instead of warmth and comfort
I felt grief and pain

Inhale inha...

Then
I realized that i was mistaken
I was mistaken of love
That love wasnt something i should selfishly claim as my own

So I tried to breathe again

Inha...

Exhale

Intense energy, emitting from your prisms

             Light reflecting, multi-dimensional beauty
                                    you see, you see, right through me

Hold it close, oh so close, study it, like constellations
                                           in a musky, starry sky

                        Slightly opened, pour your soul into mine
                                   fingerprints trace, my horizon

Your eyes are wide, engulfing mine
          caging my heart,
                   Taming the wild, beast within

tracing bones, like the branches of a tree,
               but oh do they brush against me

                      inhale//exhale, inhale//exhale

rise, shallow, heavy breaths, put me to rest

                            with your heavenliness

Trying to Breathe**

I'm sure when my Mom brought me into this world,
She would have never imagined I would have done something so stupid.
That day 1964 is still clear as hell..blowing clouds of "killa" with my very first smoke.
Kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette all on the sameday..Milestone..NOT
Nothing but a cool fool...So Cool.....My *** was frosted over!

This COPD death sentence reeks of a smell you never get rid of.
Shallow strained breathing keeps time with syncopated heart beats.
And if your a smoker my friend I know this message is gonna get your attention.
Let the message sink in and swirl around your head like those clouds of "killa".
And remember this................

"You can't delete racism. It's like a cigarette, you can't stop smoking if you don't want to and you can't delete racism if people don't want to. But I'll continue do everything I can to help!"

-K.E. Carman 2015

I write so that my brain can exhale...

When the voice of justice is silent, evil will always triumph...

Every exhale lets out the past
And I've been known to hold my breath
And though its painful to the last
It seems it's all I have left.
My skin will crawl, my lungs will scream
Fingers twitch and grasp for air
My chest will ache, my eyes will bleed
I could stop it all, if I dare.
Every exhale lets out the past
And I've been known to hold my breath
And though its painful to the last
It seems it's all I have left.