How could I be so selfish
As to take my own life
I didn't think anyone would miss me
But it's clear now
I've got an angel
He's not quite here
But I'm happy
Because he won't let me
Disappear

Maybe if I tell myself
I don't need you
Enough times
You will disappear
From my trapped mind

And that will be my down

                                                 fall

... I'm not there to listen anymore?
... my touch fades away?
... You outgrow my clothes?
... there's no one's to talk to late at night?
... I stop texting You first?
... I stop answering Yours?
... I stop posting online?
... I stop liking other's posts?
... I log off, and never log back on?
... there is no ringing of the phone?
... there is no one picking up?
... all that is left, is memories?
Will You notice when i'm gone?

If I could see my baby
At least once, tonight,
As the weather:*  rainy,
Gives a chill, just right.
Oh, what I would give to just be told
He would never appear before my eyes;
**I hope he won't grow old...
I will miss singing his lullabies.

A long, revived gaze trough little, tiny diorama.

I don’t remember the last time I saw such a glowing sky, crimson and mesmerizing above the roofs.

It must have been aeons ago.

A quite pleasant and the painful cleft that is increasingly spreading in the mind…

It is a long forgotten, abandoned and worn feeling. The marvelous sense of penetrating into my heart like the tide.

If only I could merge with the ground and dirt,

this ground flooded with dusk and covered with long shadows.

If only I could disappear.

Into the rivers and winds.

Look! disappeared one
that can't be found in the world
I find in the heart

Disappear
Into the dark
No more pressures, no more worries
Free of expectations
Judgement is gone

I can't disappear
No matter where I go
Something's following me
With sinister red-yellow eyes
Snickering at the sight of the tight iron handcuffs.

Not allowed to disappear
Those handcuffs hold me still
I can't be liberated
Because no one can save me
From the evil force that

Is

Me.

I woke up one day
The end of my bed,
A jewelry box
Pink as the ribbon they used to represent her;
I traced over her disappearing fingertips
The rim of the box clicked open,
It clicked to life
The music tickling my ears;
A plastic ballerina stands as a guardian
Hands in the air
Waiting for someone to join her,
Twirling around like my eyes that follow her,
To see we are all alone

I wish I could remember your face from that dream,
and I wish that I knew what life really means.
Wont you come closer? Come closer love.
Watch the seasons change,as blood drips down from above.

So I disconnect, & I fade away,
and I pray tomorrow a better day.
YES I PRAY TOMORROWS A BETTER DAY

All I want is for you to just leave me alone.
There's no longer fear. I just wanna go home.
So many scares, I'm beaten up again.
So many people lost we once called friends.

So I disconnect and I disappear,
but I fear the moment of truth is near,
YES I FEEL THE MOMENT OF TRUTH IS NEAR.

I wish I could remember your face from that dream,
and I wish that I knew JUST what life really means.
Wont you come closer, come closer MY love.
I WANNA SEE IF YOU CAN GUESS JUST WHAT I'M THINKING OF.

I WISH WE COULD REMEMBER THAT LIFE IS BUT A DREAM.
I WISH I COULD SOON ADMIT MYSELF TO EVERYTHING.
I'VE BEEN BLIND FOR SO LONG, BUT I'VE BEGAN TO SEE.
I HAVE FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, AND THIS IS MY VICTORY.