this poem needs a continuation
-it has to be metaphorically beautiful,
more than us.

it -this poem,
should be a ballad.
a saga.

but darling, we’re not really anything,
we’re not really anything at all.

i wish i could break these walls down,
but these words (honey, sweetheart, darling),
they get stuck in my mouth with you.

i wish i could tell who made me realize,
who my “special someone” (as you said it),
is but i don’t want to ruin us.

you’ll only be darling in my head.
we’re only lovers in my heart.

every dance i’d dance with you,
but i know i couldn’t dance with you,
unless you knew everything.

but if you knew everything,
you wouldn’t want to know me at all.

so there’s the reason -
this ballad, love song, work of art, horrible poem for a lover
will stay in my heart.

darling,
you're made of
stardust.
not to be scientific
but
the hemoglobin found
in your blood-
the only other place
its found,
is
in
stars

we are like stars, like dying embers,
clusters of us and only one
explodes.

my dreams have turned me into desire,
and i wonder where my desire will take me,
i wonder what my desire will make me.

will i be like star, or ember,
or will i be like the fireworks at night,
the ones no one notices until they explode.

that boom sounds like my heartbeat
-it’s still looking for a beat.
hasn’t found one yet.

hasn’t found one yet,
but it seems to beat for you.

darling, you know i love the stars.
at night, they light up the sky,
they’re brilliant and i can’t not love them.

you’re a star of mine,
brilliant,
but do you fade?

in the morning, will you still seem
bright,
or beautiful?

are you even there?

i’m scared you only glow at night,
and that my eyes will lose you,
and my heart will just beat somewhere else.

will you stay in the morning,
or will you be gone
like the fireworks last night?

And when you least expect it,
My darling,
A wave will swell above you
As crests caress your arms
And bobbing
Serene–
You’ll float in
Endless bliss.

So what now love?
What is there left to do?
We’ve established that you love me and that I love you but look at us?
I believe that we both can see that there is no foreseeable we.
So what can we do?
Darling I may love you with every fiber every ounce of life in me but what is this for? All this effort scooping up my outpouring with a cup containing too many holes. My endless charade trying to salvage this lifeless hand that was never mine to hold.
Watch it all fall out.
Watch it all fall.

I feel like we’re on either side of a brick wall and all I have to dig to the other side are my nails. I’ll grind them down in my own futility, bleeding and blistered for an inkling of you.
I know I’m stuck. I know there’s no way.
So why do I try? I don’t want to lose either of you, but **** it’s going to happen.

You say to me.
You jokingly say that you need a girlfriend.
What a jab in the stomach.
You sunk that knife right into my chest and made me hold it as I wept.
Obviously you didn’t mean to but ****...

Of course I can’t get mad.
My platform to stand on is sinking sand and it’s swallowing me whole.
I have no right be upset.
I’m lucky I still have you.
But I know soon.
Soon my love I’ll be stumbling after you falling on the concrete, knees scraping as I try to reach for your hand.
But please.
Don’t turn back for me.
******* it what a ***** I’ve gotten myself into.

One day my darling.
One day.
You may say you love me baby but one day.
One day she will arrive. Like an angel on high becoming and fair. She will sing her siren’s song and entangle you in her yellow colored hair. She will sing a song just for you in a way I never could. Her smile will entice and entrance you and she will lead you away from me.

And I will remain.

I will sit, legs crossed and eyes blind with tears reaching for you with outstretched palm.
I will watch you recede to your watery grave with her because there I no way I could be selfish enough to pull you away and make you stay.
All I can do is beg the man with the numbers and spinning hands for a little bit longer with you. But he looks through me with apathetic eyes. Numb to my plight. He’s seen this all before darling and ,quite frankly, he is over it.