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I was once a blind man; I sought after something that simply didn't exist.
I climbed the stairs, to reach the roof of the building. Looking down was a sea of hope. I did not want hope~
I tried, I jumped wanting to sprout wings and fly, soar above anything that may put me in harms way.
But like a stalled plane, I fell hard and fast.
I was never this trusting, I sealed my heart within the confines of my eternal jail cell -the mind- hoping it would never escape the darkness.
My weary mind only brought angst and distorted memories.
those feelings I had never wanted to feel again.
Like melted glass, my heart was sculpted from pieces of my broken past.
shattered over and over, I fought for whatever remained but my mind can be malleable. It can be twisted and believe in the lies that one may bring upon myself.
The will to love, to trust, to become one with another was all but forsaken until an enlightening soul entered my life.
How the memories of the taken, were brought back onto my mind and to hell they went for the sins they've committed. I didn't care. I broke the circle and without hesitation ran toward the inflicted. They were torn. Just like I.
They're heart shattered just like I.
I saw them, atop the same building.
About to jump.
But it was then I realized, it was me. Again and again the cycle continued.
I was the one who pulled myself toward the hope.
I was the one who wanted to love again.
I never wanted to grow wings, to glide into the vanta night sky alone once again.
I never wanted solitude
I realized myself.  Who I am, who i'm meant to be.
The sins I commit are ones i'm proud to speak for if they are sins at all; why should I abandon those who sought to condemn me to hell?
I am a man of my own free will. I am a man who seeks his own happiness. I am a man who controls his life.
I am me.
I hate myself

so please dont try to convince me

I'm worth it

Because no matter what

I'm my worst enemy

And I'd never lie to myself by saying

I shouldnt have self hatred

So I promise you that I will always remember

That I'm the epitome of my mistakes

And nothing you say will make me think

I still deserve a happy life

Because no matter what

I'm not good enough for people

And I will never believe that

I'm good enough for anyone

Because whenever I look at my reflection I think

Have I ever deserved a happy life?
Read top to bottom then bottom to top
A Sin! A Sin! Yet one i shall keep!
For whatever we sow,
Together we reap!
I learned guitar
just for the perfect moment
when i find me and my future
perfectly in tune
ready to play the melody
that is life
Mend me
Dont end me
My heart so eroded
So shattered
So broken

Mend me
Dont end me
Melt my eroded heart
Until it become
Glass once more
Dont you feel like
Life is easier emotionless
We try to seize the moment
But in the end its always "goodbye"
And forced to face reality
Because we're all going to die

My fake smile is all you see
Because we all know the
Tears are real, the smile's not me

Do we truely know whats inside of us
That deep down we are nothing but
our broken hearts and lost parts
Fallen glass and broken shards

We try so hard to realize our strengths
So we can mask our greatest weaknesses
But in our heart and souls
We know what we are...


-Terracotta soldiers;
A hollow shell
Of handcrafted beauty
Hidden from a world
Ignorant enough
to forsake our existance-
I'm faded
Like a shadow
On a winters day

Like a pencil mark
That has been
Whiped away

Like a tear
Running down
My cheek

Like my self-esteem
After they claim
They're strong and I'm weak

Like my voice
Trickling down
The well of society

Like my heart
With all of the
Constant anxiety

Like the words
Of my family
When they say I'm blessed

When they all know
Im nothing but
Evanecse.
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