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Cat Fiske May 2015
Everyone thought she was better.
That the scars on her body,
would fade and that would be that,

They never for one second,
thought she would lose herself,
in the dark maze of depression,
once again,

They never believed,
that there would be fresh cuts,
littering her arms,

They never realised,
she would never,
get better,

That she’d always find herself,
in this spiraling vortex,
known as depression,

They thought she was better,
and so did she,
But oh how wrong they were,

Because you see,
Depression never really goes away.

It just lets you think that,
so you’re unprepared,
for when it strikes back,
Depression that's what this is about
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
My love for you,
Causes me to wake every 45 minutes,
I wake up crying because of the things we said,
I remember the time we spent,
And how you thought it could never end,
But it did,

As I knew open my self up to you,
It would,
See,
You saw me naked,
And crying,
And you still said you loved me,

My body is like an army that can barely get up off the ground,
It’s been destroyed and broken so many times,
It’s hard to look at,
And you did,
And kissed all my burns,
All my cuts,
And all my bruises,

And you promised me that you will always love me,
No matter what my skin read,
And I believed that,
And that,
And my soldiers have marcher on for too long,
and they are tired of the battle,

We wish to be done,
you made the mistake,
Your now the cause of these never ending wars,
You have caused me to scar,
just my insomnia at its best, and its due to my PTSD triggers, beds and stuff sometimes don't allow me to sleep, I have to sleep on the floor or recently with my eyes open, to get 45 minutes to two hours a night
mk Apr 2015
I am the cuts on your wrist
I am the alcohol on your breath
I am the pills under your tongue
I am the blood on your carpet
I am the circles under your eyes
I am the cries stuck in your throat
I am the voices in your head
I am the stars in front of your eyes
I am the darkness in your thoughts
I am the scars on your bottom lip
I am the suicide note in your drawer
I am the gun under your pillow

I am the misery; I am the grief
I am the pain; I am the screams

If after everything we’ve lost,
this is all I have gained,
the least I can do is
take pleasure in your pain
yes, i'm still bitter. deal with it.
MKD Apr 2015
I'm getting kind of tired
So I think I'll go to sleep
I gets pretty lonely
Counting pills instead of sheep
And if you ever need me
You needn't make a peep
For I am here beside you
When monsters start to creep

I'm getting kind of cold
So I think I'll cover up
Oh don't mind those lines
They were only cuts
And if you ever worry
You needn't bring it up
Trust me, I see them
Just keep your lips sewn shut

I'm getting kind of hungry
But I will not eat
This feeling in my head
Another challenge, one more feat
And if you start to see
That I've begun to shrink
Please do not stop me
No matter what you think

I'm getting kind of scared
So I think I'm going to hide
A few memories and trinkets
Are all you'll ever find
And if you start to miss me
Just push me out of mind
For I'm not coming home soon
Though you treated me so kind

I'm getting kind of worse
But that's only what I think
The monsters and the demons
I see them when I blink
And if you ever wonder
If you had seen me sink
Remember all my smiles
Every crack and every *****

I'm getting kind of ****** up
So I think I'll go away
You don't really want me here
I see this every day
And if you ever think
There's something left to say
Write it in a letter
And burn it all away

I'm getting kind of lonely
So I think I'll wait for you
I may wait forever
But at least you see it's true
And if you ever think of me
Or want to start anew
I'll be holding on
Among the lonely few
Caitlyn Morton Apr 2015
if my eyes could speak
they would tell you how many
battles i've lost.
there's scars lining my thighs
and wrists to prove it.
they would tell you about my favorite
books, how i feel about
all time low, lillies, and you.
if my eyes could speak,
one look would say everything.
about how my ghost is surrounding
him in the distance,
watching his every move, and how
i feel some sort of rush
when i cut myself shaving.
if my eyes could speak,
my mouth would have nothing
to say.
Lianna Walters Apr 2015
Tell me,
When you look at me
Do you see what I see?
Do you see the girl that's actually me,
Or do you see what you want me to be?
Do you see the girl who sometimes cries,
Cause she'll never think of herself as "pretty"?
Do you see the girl who skips meals,
So she'll end up classified as "skinny"?
Or do you see the one that makes sure evryone else around her
Is happy?
The one who'll give anything to see people smile
So they don't end up broken
Like she is?
It's like looking at different sides of the moon,
She has a darkside
Can't you see she's terrified?
Or did you never bother to look in her eyes,
And see the pain she tried to hide?
Notice her cries for help,
As she dies inside?
No.
You never thought twice about it
Upon hearing this you'll probably tell her she's beautiful
But she won't believe you.
You haven't seen her darkside
Well, my darkside...
So I'm left with pathetic thank yous to weak compliments
As I try to gather my thoughts
Determine true or false,
But it's almost always false
That's why I'm scared, you see,
When you call me gorgeous, beautiful, pretty
Because that girl you see?
I don't see
My hands trembled,
looking at
how bleak my world seemed.

I looked down to see
a red line,
running down my arm.

Closing my eyes,
swallowing the same pills
for what i hoped was the last time.

My hope of eternal sleep,
eroding as i awoke
dizzy and empty of all things.

Maybe i killed her,
or maybe
I killed me.
I could've sworn you knew
When I met you, that day
Fidgeting with my sleeves
Arms scarred, a battlefield
Tears unshed for which I bled
Crimson, ounces I swear
So many words unsaid
Yet you still, left me alone
Nothing but much less
A crumbled heap, torn petals
Not worth an ounce of taffy
Still I needed you with me
Or at least whats left, my ashes
My soul, written on my epitaphy
The choice to cut is a signal .
I am trying no more ,
Taking a break from doing my best .

There are reasons why one would do it .

To ease the tension ;
Express emotional pain ;
To punish the body for its history ,
Or alleviate inner rage .

To express shame ;
To provide biochemical relief .
Winter Ace Apr 2015
Smoke this bowl
Get high
Be happy
Take a shot
Get drunk
Be happy
Being happy is the life goal
But seems an unreachable
So yet again waste the sorrows away
At the expense of your liver
Smoke this bowl
Get higher
Try to be happy
Take this shot
Get wasted
Try to be happy
No longer are you healthy
And people are worried
Your slowly dying
But people will never understand
So smoke this bowl
Get the highest
Give up and don't be happy
So take this shot
Get sloppy drunk and blackout
Give up and don't be happy
Just give up the chase for happiness
Cause when you finally find it
Your dead.
As I watch Whats around me i reliaze I'll never be happy
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