You were, you are, you always will be my chimerical vision.
For a while, I had always thought things should be tacenda, but then I realized how stupid of a thought that was. I mean you came into my life and became my dépayśe. I was completely taken out of my comfort zone and put in some place unknown; some place near you, yet so far away. I have this wish where you and I find the light together, but I think I  always knew it was a velleity. You're so soigné, and I'm just homely. When I close my eyes, I picture that first mamilapinatapai and wonder why I couldn't have just spoken up. I've become a mad man over this serendipity which lasted a short time only to last forever. It was just a halcyon, those few moments we awed over, and I was just to sick with evasion to ever light a spark. Now, all I can do it drown in this chimerical vision alone.

                                                         (j.a.r.)

****, but don't ******,
Be hidden in plain sight,
No matter where the evil lives,
How powerful the evil may be,
The night shall come to slay the body of evil and banish it's soul to Seclum.

The man was truly strange
Hiding cards behind his clever fingers
Cleverer than me.

He winked down my hood
And laughed
Who he was was not important

In the circus tent
Nothing held power like the cards
And he said

'I deal in cream and grey,
Put a cross in my hand and
I am what you say I am.'

And now he has a roguish smile
His feet turned up and
The bell rang

I put down the pencil
And he froze
Never to move again

He dealt in cream and grey
He delved in graphite and imprints
Nobody told him otherwise.

The ice became a reflection of how I treat every moment of my past
Frozen in time
An ice cap to place on the emotions I refuse to deal with
Some way to construct a barrier between myself and reality
I've sent out to sea
The functioning parts of my interior that are no longer needed here

I have found replacements
I would feed you to the wolves
Mirrors of the land would prove too many theories correct
In search for pressured cracked exposures
I found longing
A feeling measured by regret laced with muted passion

There on the ice, miles at sea
I found myself digging up parts of me
I was bound to forget
As the temperature began to rise
Separating the ice I have hidden upon
Falling deeply immersed
Into a sea of decisions constructed by the lack of oxygen in my blood

you say that all blacks are bad
you say they all do drugs and **** people
you say they cant be trusted
you say that kids will be confused with mixed race parents
you say it makes people look horrible if they are seen with a colored person

you make no sense

have you seen the news?
read the paper?
you see whites doing horrible
if not worse things.
but yet you only point a finder at the colored

you just don't see it

So what if races are mixed?
another persons feeling and emotions do not affect you
If they are content then let them be
There is nothing wrong with it

Colored families have just as many ups and downs as a white family
but yet they are not seen as civilized people.
just a color, not a person.

So why are they still seen as "different"?
why do you have double standards?
Why can't you see a person's character and adjudicate that.
Stop being so dense and prejudice!
You know for a fact that whites are causing as much disorder to the world as colored.
Stop trying to protect yourself from a color!

I refuse to be skimmed with your eyes
And judged by lack of understanding
My pictures minimal
But can easily draw attention
Don't tear my pages
Like they've torn my heart
My spine is worn
Please hold me together
I can't hold it together
So hold me

Do you ever come across that feeling of melancholy?
When you’re going too fast on that midnight trolley
Your head starts spinning in unfamiliar directions
While you’re left there, looking for defections

Do you ever feel like you aren't enough?
Everyone thinks it’s all a big bluff
But deep down inside you know it’s true
The whole world around you starts to turn blue

Do you ever feel that obligation?
When in school you want certification
Gaining the card that classifies you as
That one guy who is cooler than jazz

Do you ever feel pressured to fall?
Into a love in which you can’t call
A pointless relation clouds your mind
Pushing you farther from what you might find

Do you ever feel like you try too hard?
To fit into a jigsaw, but instead bombard
Looking for a clique that suits you best
Coming to feel like you’re better than the rest

Do you ever feel like you can’t be found?
Lost inside your own impound
Deceived by self-inflicting thought
You continue to feel even more distraught

Do you ever just want to run away?
Leave behind your past and go astray
Forget the life you lived at home
And elsewhere discover a new throne

Do you ever feel like life is a game?
A game in which you can’t come to claim
The honorable title as the winner
Settling down for the same old dinner

Do you ever wonder if you’re treated unfair?
You live thinking that you cannot bear
The dreadful thought of being singled out
Making you want to scream and shout

Do you ever feel like nobody understands?
Like you’re the only one stuck within the strands
Trapped inside an ignorant state of mind
Only to come all this way and find…
That you were wrong all along
It was all just a mixed up song
These steps you take throughout high school
Turn you into some kind of rotten fool

One day you will come to see
That it was all part of the journey
You’ll take it in and walk down your path
Knowing that the worst of the wrath—
Is over…

-David Rombouts-

This story is just beginning
don't mind the few blank pages along the way
That's when I though the plot had ended
Little did I know that was just a prequel
Character development
The first chapters I know the main character is hard to decipher
Just remember this is just the beginning
I'll hold a box of tissues for you when the plot seems to twist and turn
This is just the beginning of my story
When I thought this was the last page
I realized there's a whole another book with my name on the cover
This plot hasn't even climaxed yet
Please won't you stick around and see what happens next
Because this is character development
The prequel
To the story of my life