maybe it's time
to say goodbye
as much as I know
you'd hate that.
maybe time w i l l
bring us again together
another day
another place
with another
version of us too.

one summer morning
        I’ll see you
             again.
              
told
           another dream
                 from a
                 dream
                  itself.

It makes you stronger
so does it hurt you,
love is a strange
feeling afterall.

m a y b e
you should
care less
to make
everything
hurt  l e s s .

it's going to
be a lonely
day without
him, my head
w h i s p e r e d.

           probably one of
           the best feelings
           ever in a long time,
           my heart r e m i n d e d.

when I was younger
home was the best place ever.
whether it was birthdays
which now feels like
a long-lost dream. since we lived in a tiny
house. a family of six huddled up together
in a tiny room to celebrate. maybe times
were simpler or maybe we didn’t have much then.

or on days, mum cooks
which always was a rarity.
she never played an active role
but our younger selves made sure
at the end, we’d be grateful.

things began to shift
when we grew older.

the happy house felt like a dark
gloomy one. smiles began to
be replaced by shoutings.
birthdays began to be less common
and sooner like we all imagined
it would become something
attached with the past.


when i became older
i tried becoming friends with
my younger self. somedays were
a disappointment. somedays we faked it.

I’m still trying to.

I needed you once
and you needed me,

till she came and took my place
all the kisses
                        hugs
                             ­     cuddles
                                                are no more.

But i'm glad i was your
f i r s t
and you were mine.

hello.

its been so long. how are you?

my heart

is left
confused
broken
hurt
etc
etc
etc.

all the
feelings
which y o u
possibly can't
feel as you
walked
     o f f.

d                     n
     r            w        i               g      in your
            o                       n               love. except
                                                      i can't see you.

                                                      cause you're never
                                                                              there.

                                                                                 h                     me.
                                                                                       e         p
                                                                                             l

tiny houses
big dreams
best friends forever
we promised it all.

                                  ^^          ^^^
/\     /\                    \           / /
  -        -                       \  /   / /
||      ||                     \ \ / /
||      ||                      |      |
||      ||             ­         |      |
||      ||                      |      |
wwwwww­wwwwwwwwwwww
                                                    ­                                 tiny houses
                                                                ­                     again.

                                                         ­                            do you still
                                                                ­                     remember them?
                                                           ­   d r e a m s    which we
                                                              ­                      talked about a long
                                                            ­                        time ago.

                                                           ­                          tiny houses
                                                          ­                           big dreams
                                                          ­                           best friends forever.

                                                       ­                         but hey,
                                                                ­                 you know what          
                                                                ­              we made it all.

                                                           ­           we did
                                                             ­          o n c e  in our tiny heads.

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  to is what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

I fell
for you
         \
           \
             \
               \
                 \
                   \
    
                       and reached
                       this empty grey spot.
              

                       I fell for you &
                       lost a part
                       of m-y-s-e-l-f within
                       that fall too.

she gave you
everything

all you did
were
lies
with
and a
  b
     r
        o
       k
    e
r
n
    heart.

Fingers moving
slowly touching the
metal ridges.

dust forming on her
fingers

less bothered she continues
watching them.

Forced to and living alone
with a white bed
and her mind forever
playing games.

It's time, they call out.

she pulls back her hand
as if,

breaking away from
a thought.

Her mind quickly
puts her in another situation

different people
yet,
same empty emotions like
every other day.

sun setting
waves crashing.
        
a smile forming
hands grateful.
skies darkening
waves quieting
       down.

c l e a r
blue skies
the air warm
the familiar smell
of the s a l t y ocean water
the gentle crashing of the w a v e s
young children rushing down to collect shells.

happy faces
old memories
familiar feelings.

I smile at myself
at how  f- a- r
  
I’ve reached.

the soft rustle of the wind
blowing the leaves gently
forming a pile soon, once again.
blades of grass swaying with
rhythm of nature.

four walls, my friend these days
white hospital beds, a cold place.

longing to feel the touch of the w i n d.

i miss you.

my mind doesn't wanna say that

so all i do is
                            wait
                                wait
                                     wait.

                                                         for something.
                                                         i don't know. maybe
                                                         it's hope that you'll
                                                         return my messages.
                                                         maybe. i'm just being
                                                         too easy on you. maybe
                                                         we just shouldn't have met.

warm sunny days. your lips brushing past mine.
            the feeling of the familiar warmth
                     the wind softly blows
                                  and
                              your eyes
                              your smile
                              your laugh  
                                   &
                                 you

                         just makes me feel
                             so complete.

our memories
are fading off
bit by bit.
soon they'll
be nothing left
of us.
just two
strangers heading
off in different
directions.

As her
legs dangle
in the moon lit
water

she sits
cross-legged staring
at her reflection
in the clear blue
waters

she carefully rolls
her white sleeves
touching gently
on the scar
the jagged line
which runs till her elbow

softly touching her skin,
trying to catch
her past.

she wonders
if he's still
searching.

she sobs
all too quietly.

she raises her
hand forward
carefully removing her
wedding band
throwing it
deep within
to somewhere she can't catch.

as her legs
dangle in
the waters

she sits cross legged staring
at her reflection
dreaming about

the world in front of her
and all the goodness
it has to offer.

i wanted to
hold
or more so,
touch everything
forever.

this year taught
me differently.

I’ve waited for you,

  for

          so

                        long.


i’m tired now. but I hope
one day you remember me.

all those,


                                efforts

               ­ texts,

calls.

shadows fiercely
dancing around the fire.

with us twirling

a r                             ar                           ar
    ou               ou            ou           ou
           nd.                              nd.          

                                                                          &

soon
we  s l o w down.
the last of our fiery red streak
faintly visible across the room.

i don't know how
much longer
this will last
you
me
or even,
us.

time just slowly
vanishes away
as soon as
we grow
older.

b r e a t h e
he says

i open my eyes
barely recognizing
all those people around me

he takes my hand,
the familiar touch of it
a tingling sensation
making my heart do a tiny, little dance
a smile creeping up in my face

b r e a t h e
he whispers.


it’s all going to be okay.

on somedays

poetry speaks to me

maybe
those are
the days
where emotions
lie highest within me.

on other days

I try to read
appreciate some
find an inspiration.

you taught me
how to look
at things beautifully.
you've called
me beautiful
a number
of times.
&
then one
day you left
since I was no
longer y o u r
type of beautiful.

i fell
hard for
your love.
                                                           ­                                          why does
                                                                ­                            it hurt so
                                                                ­                   much? even
                                                            ­            after you've
                                                          ­ left. it feels like
                                                 you took a
                                     piece of me
                           and just left
              without even
saying a goodbye.

i saw a
little girl
today.
& she called
me beautiful.

maybe
all we  
need are
more moments
to remind us
we are
beautiful
just by
ourselves.