Time -
The magic wand of eternity.
Though logic bound
You find the twists -
A moment that lasts a lifetime
And the one that doesn't really exist.

A moment that is my eternity
May be your nothing.
Logic bound -
Though logic free.

Oh sweet giving time
When will your enchantments
Leave me misery free?

Or is it up to me alone -
To create new memories?

So I brushed my hair
Twice!
With a fine tooth comb,
Until my hair flowed
Like silken water
And soft to the touch.

I scrubbed at my face
As if that soap and water
Would wash away
All my blemishes and past mistakes.

And when I was ready
I thumbed the blue dress
That look as though
It was for an adult dressed as a child.

"Blue like the ocean, blue like your eyes"

Im standing in the hallway,
Like a statue-perfect girl
With the eyes of my ancestors
Peering from the walls.
I held my breath
Like the breaths captured in all those peering eyes.

Today I would look perfect,
Like your darling little girl.
I know I am grown now
But on my birthday, I still hope you'll return.

Love somebody
As I have loved you -

Be loved again
As I have loved you -

I hope I love once more
As I have loved you -

And may I be loved
As I have loved you -

I cried 'til challenged with laboured breathing
After you hung up the phone.
The hole you just ripped in my chest,
More jagged and deeper than ever before.

The way you casual said " not that you'll even care "
Left an emptiness I can't describe.
You knew how I felt, I made sure
Every day to love you more than the last.

The tears streamed from my eyes -
Yet truly from my soul when I realised
You had halved a whole.

" Look I've met someone else "
Is all you said, over the phone.
Is that all I was worth,
Five measly words and a broken heart?

I cannot remember the last time someone looked at me like that,
just as you do -
with curious eyes full of awe and wonder,
looking at me as if there was no one else they'd rather see.
Soaking up each line on my face,
the shift of my eyes, the creases gained from my smile -

Once you had looked at me enough
confident, there never would be an inch of my face you didn't recognise
You pulled me close, wrapping me into your arms -
your life, your heart!
My world was consumed by you,
your magnetic pull, your strength, your smell
so that I was surrounded by the depth of your breath,
the rise and fall of your beautiful chest.

When the hour came, under the lampshade of this old creaking tree,
while the rare Irish sun shun above, so warm and sweet,
I believed you as you whispered those three innocent words, times by three -
and in that moment never more in love with you could I be.

he left my tongue twisted
     around the words I wanted to say
i felt my heart beating - no humming -
      as if it would fly away from my rib cage

had it not been tangled amongst the vines -
       that delicate web of doubt,
that tangled its way around my chest
        caused from past lovers, and that kind of distress.

with a humming heart -
        and shaking knees!
i was playing the role of the love-struck fool
         nothing to say, but a Cheshire-cat grin on my face -

Life is not like instagram,
it doesn't come with an edit button.

In the shame and darkened shade,
perhaps such shame being yours -
or do you carry theirs like the cross?
With a thorn-crown for gratitude

Scream for the pain that is yours,
or for what is theirs.
Give them the chance to see
the opportunity which they refused.

To die is to live -
Having died, your life can complete
Your point which may be mute or deafened later,
You may die this way - but if you never let them try
how can they ever see -

If you cannot forgive yourself,
How is the world supposed to give you a clean slate?

Jesus is in my heart,
Jesus is in my lungs,
with each inhaling breath,
and every time I exhale

as my mind whirls about,
brain-rats spinning on their wheel,
I think of Him alone,


and so shall peace come,
as I remain still.

Ad hoc decisions about living or dying
Are stealing you away from the truth,
Because once you're dead, you're dead darling.

Once you admit that you love her,
that's when she'll go missing -

If you picked me
to love,
I'd be honored.

I wonder if you know
how deeply I could love you,
if  you would just let me.


Or is it that you already know
and this is why you choose to leave me in this love-limbo?

When they stripped me of my dignity
lashing me -
for all of our community to see

My body a damaged cage
wrinkled in the square
pathetic and quivering.

My smile was clawed from my face
by savages
who did not believe in 'happy'.

They beat me 'til I was broken
bent out of shape,
had I been a contortionist it would have been painless
but oh! it was pain I felt as every inch of me
was broken and shattered - snapped like a twig.

Yet no mark could the human eye see
I was just a girl
lying in the rain, whose touch burned like acid.

My clothes did not resemble the tatters I felt them to be,
my hair was brushed and not the state they had yanked it into,
not an inch of makeup was smudged across my face.

Funny the effect a few words can take.

Write me a love poem
and we will see who has the last laugh -

A kiss with a fist sweetheart
a lovers pun.

You tell me that I am special,
Yet you treat me as lesser.
You recite words that "reflect my beauty"
But I've heard you recite such sweet nothings to others.
You demand to know my feelings
Only to cast yours in disguise.
You praise the "wonders" of my mind
Though when I speak you never listen.
You describe having me as your "greatest decision" and "luckiest find" - you had the gall to tell me I was your rare gem stone, one of a kind.
However I know I am nothing more than option.

Your sweet words and charming romance
May fool your other rare gems,
But my heart is beat and whithered.
Actions speak louder than words Darling -
Your words so full
Your actions scream silence.

In my family
If your lungs don't **** you,
Your heart will.

My lungs don't work
To full capacity,
And my breathings heavey.

But my heart is clenched
Within a fist, crushed and twisted,
Only getting every other hit.

My lungs can't breathe,
And my hearts been abused -
Question is which will **** me first?

When quotes hit you in the face like a brick
When dear ones ramble quotes-of-nothings
To fix my "current plight"
It makes me sick.

Do I look like I want your ill-thought quotes
That any fool with Google can condure?
I know I sound ungrateful -
Perhaps a weather beating and endurance has made me so
But really I just wish to be alone.

Locked inside the walls which are
My self made cage
Does not mean I am on self destruct
It means I want to be alone

Alone is healthy, I want to befriend my mind and my beaten feelings.
I want to base my happiness on me
But I can't do that while I'm badgered
By Tinseltown- quotes and an "antidote"
Known as a quick fix -

This isn't temporary, I've to live with me for life - there is no out of this sentence
So can't you let me love me
lost in a cage alone?

falling in love, is like aligning with stupidity -
trying to save you, to save us
in the name of love
is like passing your hands through the flames of the fire
someone's going to get burned,
and that someone is always me.

sometimes when left alone
and lost in thought
I catch myself wondering
if anyone will ever love me,
in a way that they'll just want to talk about
what's going on in mind -
where my darkest wildest thoughts
can be freed-

and furthermore, will they love that part of me?

I'm not the kind of person you fall in love with -

I'm always the option,
Never the choice.

I always have at least one of my writings
scripted and hanging in my room.


They may not be obvious
but they are there somewhere
among all the stuff
because if I don't love it,
why should anybody else?

" I do not fear the night time,
no, my fear is much beyond that,
I fear the darkness within my soul -
the unrecognisable face in the mirror. "

When the moon shines,
It paints pictures with my soul

at the very core of my being
is all the scars only a trained eye could see -
what of beauty without misery?

Faded scars and a broken being
lead way to a nonchalant
way of seeing - or existing.

the root of scars,
the root of pain,
the root of endless misery

a pathetic quest for beauty,
but what even is beauty to me?

You're eyes sparkle like the ocean,
They are as vast and blue too -

I wish I could swim in your eyes,
Forever looking at you.

I am just glad
that we have that offline
kind of love,
where we really see and hear each other.

I find my dreams
      are slipping away
            from their usual crazy trance
                    

now my dreams are bittersweet
         echoing a wish so secret -
                  I dream for you, not me.

My apathy is disgusting!

I think?

I am so obsessed with you,
I wanna smoke you right
down to the filter,
'til there's nothing left.

Had I to paint a picture
I'd colour you in with my fingers
Using the lines as guides
Rather than instruction

I'd use the colours that we
Painted with our naked souls
Rather than the ones in the pallet.

Then I'd rip the image to shreds
Because a masterpiece is nothing to others
Than what it is is to its master.

Don't believe the things you tell yourself
So late into the night -

You are lost between two worlds,
Neither of which is right.

"Love" - it will set you free,
allow you to be the one
you were made to be.

So they promise -

"Love" - it will take all that you are
and leave you be.

Wake me when I'm dead -
Unless I'm dreaming

Is it my fault that I'm alone?
Is it 'me' that's repelling?

What if this is not just a phase
A single pause throughout my life?
Perhaps I'll be alone
Tonight and every night -

You know those moments
When you are content -
Realising everythings going to be alright?



Yeah, neither do I.

I hate how you make me feel.

That crushing feeling in my core,
That overwhelms me
Leaves me with laboured breathing -
Every time I stumble across you.

I hate how you don't care.

You said that I was yours,
Before I whispered "I love you"
Under the midnight stars.

I hate how I'm a fool.

I'd take you back, and love you
Cherish your very being.
Even though I was just a bet -
A joke to you and your friends.

Mostly, I hate how much I still love you

I sing a song of sorrow
With a heavy heart

I sing a song of sorrow
For a love I never lost

I sing a song of sorrow
Because you can't loose which was never yours.

I sing a song of sorrow
As you were never mine