Jamie: Poems

The One

Jamie Jan 2018

The One

Why are you there?
For someone 15,000 miles away?
Why couldn't it have been me?
I'm so done,
I don't understand,
4 years I could have spent, better off.
I don't hate you.
But I'm done

The Speech

Jamie Jul 2014

The Speech

If I tried harder back then
We wouldn't be here
I would be in love
And so would you
The words I wish you knew

So much time has passed
And all I have is regret
We don't have long till you leave
And this is what I long for

Me and you to burn
Brighter than the sun
With what time
We have left
Right now

When you leave so will I
Our sun will emplode
And it will swallow itself up
Slowly losing all its shine

And if will meet in a few years
The sun we left to die will explode
Amungst the night sky
And the remainder of the supernova lights
We shall share till we die

I want to fall hopelessly in love with you. Die when you leave hoping one day we can be together as right now we can't be

#love #sun #hope #wish #explode #supernova #ignite

This

Jamie Feb 2014

This

Am not happy like this
When you don't reply
But when you do
This world is alright

Time

Jamie Jan 2015

Time

Sometimes when I look at you,
And wish that time would stop,
Especially when I'm about to kiss you
The problem is, that's quite a lot

#kiss #time #stop #sometimes #alot #everytime

To My Next

Jamie Feb 2014

To My Next

Expect I will adore you
Think that you are the one
That I had to be patient for

Allow me to fall for you
Then don't hurt me too badly
When I do

Tough Days

Jamie Nov 2015

Tough Days

They seem to end,
When I stop to breathe for a second,
I find myself holding the tears back

..Why am I alone?
..Why can't I be better?
..Why do I let myself down?

..Is this why she doesn't want me?
..Is that why she is with him?
..Is that why I will never be good enough?

..Why can't I be happy?
..What can I do to change?
..Why is it so hard to smile?

Then I carry on with my day,
That's 5 minutes of my day down,
Only 1435 minutes to go.

#days #questions #down #long #tough

To Write

Jamie Sep 2015

To Write

I have said it before
But I only write when I'm down,
Maybe it's because it is where I need to be,
To get all these words out of me

#me #writing #down

Understand?

Jamie Jul 2013

Understand?

There is something I'm missing
Not yet to understand
What am I thinking
Doing these things

I am loose at the seems
Pretending I am fine
Maybe it will help if I can
Cover up these blues

Sam Smith - Lonely Hour

#up #maybe #blues #cover #someone #understand

Unfinished

Jamie Feb 2014

Unfinished

Everything I felt
I wrote down on this page
It crashed but it's everything
I wanted to say to you

Everything I felt and thought
Along with that poem are gone
Just like the chance I had
With you

The page actually crashed and my poem has gone. One hour I spent but it's almost better that it's gone...

Up and Down

Jamie Sep 2014

Up and Down

My mood is a problem
Despite being on holiday
Its finally found me
The feeling of ...

#depression #me #feeling #found #holiday

Used

Jamie Jan 2016

Used

Some days I don't notice,
But over and over,
I'm the blanket,
You don't want to throw,
I'm always there to pick you up,
That's all I have ever been,
Picked up and used when your down.

#blanket #used #safetynet

Useless

Jamie Apr 2014

Useless

Why
Wasn't
I there
For you

#sorry #useless

Void

Jamie Jul 2019

Void

I feel like I am just,
Waiting for time to pass

I don't want anything,
I don't need anything

I want this period of time,
To just finish and be done

I'm not angry
Or empty nor sad

Yet it's hard to answer,
'Are you alright?'

Because I don't know how I feel

Guess I will go to the gym
Drink till I'm blind

And hope that soon
That I won't be so bland

Waiting

Jamie May 2016

Waiting

I am waiting for that day,
The day when everything makes sense,
So many days alone,
Too few days of content.

Waiting till my thoughts,
All my experiences,
Come together,
To feel more complete than any day before

#content #thoughts #together #waiting #everything #experiences

Want

Jamie Dec 2018

Want

When others meet you,
All they see is kindness,
And they tell me,
You have yourself a keeper.

I don't understand what it is,
But I just,
Feel myself,
Not falling any deeper.

I have this self pressure,
That I should be saying,
I love you.
But it would only be a lie.

For now I will hold back,
As only time will tell...
I do feel like I should say it,
But I WILL not tell a lie.

Is there a specific amount of time when you are dating someone, for an 'I love you' should appear?

#lie #pressure #should #want

Why?

Jamie Feb 2014

Why?

Why did you
Leave without a goodbye
Why did you
Not reply
Why did you
Leave me here to die

Broken

Why Complicate Life

Jamie Aug 2014

Why Complicate Life

Miss someone?
..
Call
..

Want to see them?
..
Invite
..

Want to be heard?
..
Explain
..

Like something?
..
Say it
..

Want something?
..
Ask
..

Love someone?
..
Tell them
..

Found something similar and had to write it out. Sometimes you have 'Say what you need to say' ... Say - John Mayer

#love #tell #say #ask

Why isn't it easier?

Jamie Jul 2016

Why isn't it easier?

Having written down,
All I have ever felt,
Why isn't the pain
Or loneliness any easier

It feels like I am on loop,
But going through it all faster,
Feels like an implosion is pending,
Not sure if I can cope again

#alone #loneliness #coping #easier

Wonder

Jamie Jul 2013

Wonder

I wonder if you think of me
As I do of you,
I wonder if you miss me
I'm such a fool,
I wonder if you'd ever tell me
What I've put you through,

Soon I will be just a memory
Of someone you once knew,
As I fade away know that,
Once upon a time
I loved you ...
Did you ever love me too?

#love #fool #wonder

World For You

Jamie Oct 2013

World For You

Is there a future
For me and you
We have our plans
But I know me and you

We won't settle
Till the time is due
I want the moon
You want the stars

If I see you
Am scared of
What will I might say
And what will I do

Is there a future
For me and you
I wish the world for you
I really do

Worst Bit

Jamie Jul 2014

Worst Bit

I find myself
Dropping everything
When you come to me
I swallow my pride
Wishing you to be by my side

John Mayer - Man on the side

Worth While

Jamie Aug 2014

Worth While

Everytime I do something for you
Your smile makes it all worth while

#smile #worth #while #everytime

Writing

Jamie Jul 2014

Writing

A part of me feels
I only write when I feel

When I have nothing
I am empty but seemingly content

As I write in this moment
I have no emotion for once

Perhaps I know
Something on the horizon is coming

Maybe I should take some time
To not force anymore but take it as it comes

Looking up for the first time in months

#content #lookingup

You

Jamie Sep 2014

You

I could write for hours about the good
I could write for hours about the bad
I am just happy I am no longer sad

#love #heartbreak #sad #good #bad #i #you #hours

You

Jamie Jul 2013

You

The reason why I waited
My excuse to be awake
When life was so wrong
You brought me back up
To where I belong

I didn't fall for you
Like I thought I would
If I waited we .. could .. of been
But I mistimed the shot
So we are, where we are

I don't regret an action
Especially not the last
I would do it all again in a shot
I am not as strong as you
So let me fall apart

— The End —