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Jack Jenkins Apr 2024
cuz my conscience is a *****
let me know who the highest bidder is
let me know the bitter end
sprawled out on the floor
looking for hope in desk drawers
find it and light it up like my life is just passing smoke
a passive joke
i aint growing old because i've been there
growth comes from damage and i'm hella broke
record repeating in slo-mo
unfinished suicide notes tucked in the leaves of better poems and ****** notions
self perception of self perfection is a dangerous *****
and like i said
i'm hella broke
broken dreams like shattered glass
demons dance like a cruel romance
secrets whisper in shadows deep
across my brain voices creep
my regrets echo as a haunting refrain
ghosts that linger and wane
lost in darkness
lost in the labyrinth
i remain i remain i remain
Jack Jenkins Jun 2018
You're the kid
Who didn't have anxiety
Growing up

You're the kid
Who was never abused
Parents didn't lay a finger on me

You're the kid
Who didn't fit in your Christian family
Black sheep

You're the kid
Who saw everyone else suffer
But not you

...not you...

The few friends you had
When they left, were they worthy?
Or did you **** it up again?

Your faith is misfired, again
Schizophrenic
A brittle child and a brute

Did you spare your skin the razor
Just to cut your heart on glass?
Chew and swallow every shard

You're four drinks in tonight, Jack
Your mind on repeat
Thinking of lost things

...fleeting things...

Jason Mraz serenades your
Buzzed mind
"I Won't Give Up"

That was "the song" for her
You gave up Jack
Pour the fifth glass

You're just a kid
Playing catchup on anxiety
Growing old

You're just a kid
Savoring every sharp word
Disappointment

You're just a kid
Quitting faith when it's hard
Begging for love when you're alone

You're just a kid
Suffering and nobody sees you
Just me

...yeah...
Jack Jenkins Aug 2019
People unfold, and relationships do too//
It hurts like ice on an open wound//
Fire in the stomach that won't subside//
Lightning that flashes and dies//
A hundred thousand lies//

I don't love you anymore//
I don't love you anymore//
I don't love you anymore//

Maybe this time the rose will wither//
Open this chest up and remove me from it//
Push me away like I pushed you away//
I don't deserve it anymore//
Believe this one lie//

I don't love you anymore//
I don't love you anymore//
I don't love you anymore//

Because//
I still do//
//On Her//
You
Jack Jenkins Dec 2016
You
I have the crowning achievement of never being dumped.
I had the miserable demerit of never being truly loved.
Until you.
Written 6 February 2016... didn't last... ****
Jack Jenkins Apr 2016
I want to capture your beauty,
In a jar.
And hold it close to me,
Every night.
//On her//
Jack Jenkins Apr 2017
I can't stand missing you anymore.

You are all I've longed for yet you
  have gone away, away, so far gone.

I don't think you understood how
  much your love meant to my heart.

I have tried to move on without you
  yet life lost its luster and it's volume.

So I bemoan your absence in another poem
  that doesn't scratch the beginning of my pain.
I don't think I can keep going on without her anymore. I can't function anymore.
Jack Jenkins May 2016
There are just some days when hurt and fear cut deep into your spinal cord and you are left totally paralyzed in despair and hopelessness clawing away at the door you locked yourself behind hoping someone can tear it down and rescue you
But nobody ever comes and you suffocate on the fumes of your gloom the bane of your perseverance is the nagging tempting whisper that
                                          **You
                                                 Are
      ­                                                  Not
           ­                                                    Worth
       ­                                                                 ­    It
Just a sidenote; I decided to try writing without and punctuation to see how it looked. Do you guys enjoy it, hate it, or are indifferent to it?
Jack Jenkins Nov 2018
---
You are the echoes haunting through my halls
You are the lost treasure of my heart
You are deeply missed
---
I scream that I'm sorry
I know it won't cross the ocean
I resign myself to this hell I've chosen
---
//On her//
No regrets, I don't want to change the past. I just dream of a future I can't have.
I miss her.
Jack Jenkins Feb 2017
I hear the ghost of you, again.
Creeping up and stabbing my heart,
but never killing me all the way.
Jack Jenkins Sep 2017
though my words are few
they mean everything
from me
to you
~~~
*You made the dark veil
around my heart
open and burst with love
when you held my scars
and declared them beauty
//On love//
I recently met an amazing person on here who I grew close with. They make me happy for the first time in a long, long time. Totally disarmed me. So I dedicate this to my beautiful friend. You know who you are.
Jack Jenkins Apr 2016
So full of care and love.
  **P
recious time given to others.
    Even when you're not wanting to.
       Cuz you're a person of nice quality.
          I have so much respect for you, friend.
            And you should know I will never let go.
               Love imbues your essence and your spirit.
A small tribute I've written for a friend.
Jack Jenkins Apr 2016
Being held in your embrace,
Your head against my chest.
How could you wonder why,
I love this so so much?

It's gentle security against the:
Mind that claws itself every day,
People sparring against our hope,
Tumultuous times this life gives.

An act of love, of friendship,
Compassion and closeness.
You are my companion,
A joy unrivalled in my life.

Everything said here,
Is captured in a perfect act:
Our arms wrapping around,
Bodies pressed together.

Your hugs. My hugs.
//On her//
Jack Jenkins Jun 2019
You should believe in love, girl
One day it's going to find you
Love will say your name
and you're going to fall

It's going to be okay

When it's real and unmoving
At your side when you're low
Love will say your name
and girl, you're going to fall

It's okay
//On her//
If I could talk with her again, I'd want to give her hope.
Jack Jenkins Dec 2016
Loneliness and all
Caught without your precious love
I fall all alone
Written 28 February 2016... oddly enough just as applicable today as it was then... ****

— The End —