It was something you never did
it was something you always did

God rest my soul
Because you never did

I learned to drink
Because you never did
Never defined the moment
Because you always did

God rest my soul
Simply put
I knew you would
Because you never did

Oh you enjoyed the fall
You loved it all

God rest my soul
Because you never did

A compulsory breather is needed.
To keep myself sane,
to maintain a calm outlook.

Coffee: The essential material for crafting the happy face mask.

I can make weird faces again with my stitches.
Yay.
Won’t take it for granted, I’m trying.
Not to take life in this world, seriously.

Seriously, there must be other places.
But every place has connections to everything.
Trying to let go of everything….
Before I go, letting go.

It’s easier to let go for me already.
When I know I can leave.
I feel broken and lost.
But I’m letting go of what’s bothering as much as I can.

But then…
There’s always something.
Always been.
Free when I’m home.
That’s how it should go.

That’s where you let your guard down.
And I’ve never been home here.
So maybe I can finally drop everything and fall down.
Forever when I’m gone.

I gasp, for breath...fading away, below you
helpless, beneath the deluge, of you.
Heat rises, and steams, a rosy flush,
into pale, cold cheeks...
as you waterfall above me,
and I turn my face up to you, in gratitude.

I am a dry...arid flower...
dominate me, with your downpour.
Keep me moaning, in little, breathless gasps...
drunk, on your deluge,
lusting, for the gentle, seething weight,
of your measured, eager touch...
so thirsty, for your rain,
as you slick parted lips, in waves.

Slowly...almost painfully
I ache, and writhe
as you pour over me,
and I gulp, hard,
against your hot embrace.

Mmmmm...lover...caress my bare skin
stream, relentlessly
across the peaks, and valleys
of my dripping, naked body.

I'm so wet, beneath you.
Every dance of droplets,
across these spreading hips,
and long, feminine legs...
every prolonged, whispering touch...
every sweet, steaming kiss,
steals my breath away,
and leaves me shuddering,
quivering,
groaning, helplessly,
beneath the lick of your warmth
across these rounded, fleshy cheeks.

I die, a little more, each time
you wash over me,
As I drink you in
...unashamed of the little pool,
you've got forming beneath my bare feet,
and tightly curled toes.

I'm...drenched,
tingling, from my head,
to my toes...
soaked, but satisfied,
beneath the incredible force, of you.

...I just can't get enough, of you.

cada vez que paso por la rue des arts y abril
hay un olor a cigarrillos "fontanares"
fumados detrás del paredón
agachado debajo del cielo
con las manos como pagoda nerviosa
abrigando la brasa pálida contra la luz del día
y cada vez que paso por la rue des arts
veo a Ana en el campito detrás del paredón
con sus ojos llenos de abril
de amistades furiosas
de color avellana violeta
ojos llenos de peces
algunos arden como soles
otros llueven
esos ojos
parecían dos árboles recién talados y tibios de pajaritos
que habían dejado apenas su madera
heredera de plumas
que sostenían el aire y nunca terminaban de caer
y alrededor de esos ojos
había un lago del mismo color que las perlas de mei-lan-fan
la favorita de mis miedos
las perlas que mei-lan-fan criaba en la cabeza
para que ciertas noches haya luz
como hoy
que paso por abril
con el alma doblada debajo del sobaco como los estudiantes del alma
por la ciudad sin ojos que no ven a ana
no ve sus pechos frescos que empiezan a asomar
y tiemblen como temblaban entonces
mis siete años de edad
turbados
por tanto clarín desnudo
tanta gloria
tanta desolación
tanta triste alegría
¿qué ser?
¡esos campos de nadie que naides se atrevía a oír!
¡esas primicias como miles de legiones
arrojadas contra uno!
¡esa belleza
conmigo adentro
sin victorias!
¡los carros
las mujeres
los hijos
arrastrados de un país a otro
de tu hermosura a mi agonía!
¡a todo ayer que pasará!
¿y cuando moverás tu bondad o tu desdén para venir a la rue des arts
donde una vez fumé "fontanares"
para retrasar a la muerte?

Your best contribution
of the day-
when you don't stand
in someone's way

If you saw me

unvarnished,

unscripted
would you stay?

You'd know the cost
of loving someone
who's learned to disappear
before she's left.

You might step back.

or worse,

what if you stay?

and see me crumble

in your kindness

I don't know
if I could survive

being loved like that.

In a galaxy millions of light years away,

Your visage shines bright, a glistening moon

Its orbit is drawn, its kismet is made

Its blinding departure came far too soon  



Wandering through cosmos in search of your light,

I yearn to break from fate’s dictation

Yet as your figure comes into sight

It shows not truth but imagination



Your orbit drifts further as your visage fades

Your figure dissolves into starless dust

Your eclipse casts my heart under lonely shade

There is no love or hate, only rust



I have not known love but merely affection

I have not known you but just a reflection

When the world goes quiet,
when backs turn,
and doors close—

it’s always you
still standing there,
like I’m worth staying for.

in the cradle of my tongue
burns a small pearl

shaped like the moon
heavy as death

in the rift between shadows
pulls my skull into the earth

mouth and fire effervescent
sleight of winter sky  

in sheens of thick molten blue
cruel and raw

cut like god
cracks to life

the face of thunder  
in the cradle of my tongue beset

a pearl of blackest night born
my oath to keep

i'm standing in the rain
and every drop that hits me
is a detail of my life
utterly random
some smack me, some miss me
and that's my life
i'm soaked in accidental events

I reset my boundaries,                                                      ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­              
that soon became walls.                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                      
my life's filled with difficulties,                                                    ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
and I'll overcome it all

It’s not the heartbreak that screams.
It’s the silence that follows.
The way someone becomes a stranger
while their memories still live in your chest.
How they laugh with others the way they used to with you—
and you pretend it doesn’t sting.
You act okay.
You smile.
But inside, you're mourning someone who’s still alive,
just no longer yours.

i give up.
i give up.
im done,
i tried,
i did what i could,
i hate this,
i give up.
who cares?
i give up.

i spend so many sleepless nights
thinking of you
never dreaming
a dream is more tangible a thing
than thought
and in a dream everything is real
even if it's just for a little while

blind and naked starling chick
dead on the pavement

parent looks down and sings

out of context
i'd think it a sweet bird song

is my reading
of the situation incorrect ?

why say goodbye
ask yourself
they rarely are

Let the rain fall down.
Let the sky turn black.
Let the world know
I’ll
Not be
Coming back.

Let the rain fall down.
Let the world turn to ash.
Let the sky split open. I’m
Never
Coming
Back.

Let the rain fall down.
Let the sky turn black.
Let the world know
That I’ll
Not be
Coming back.

Let the rain fall down.
Let the world turn to ash.
Let the sky rip open. I’m
Never
Coming
Back.

Let the rain
Fall
Forever

Let the sky
Tear
In two.

Let the earths crust crumble, I
Won’t come back to you…

red
green
wait

It's a little gift
it's a little shift
live and let live
I would never give
anyone the peace
after all the grief
all I really need
is a sweet release

I, go inside my of my mind
I, go inside all the time
I love sweet sunshine
I, I

I, live inside a dream
I, imagine great things
I, write songs in my head
I, am myself

All I want to do is sing
you can cut off my wings
all I'm gonna do is dream
I dream great things, I dream things

I, go inside my of my mind
I, go inside all the time
I love sweet sunshine
I, I

I, live inside a dream
I, imagine great things
I, write songs in my head
I, I, am myself

In your eyes, I see my own.
I waited so long
for your presence to become real.

In that crucial moment,
I felt something
changing my awareness,
and the soundless vessels were filled
with joyful abundance—
colored by
pain and sadness
that time goes so fast
in underrated moments.

Materializing all these silent dreams,
this one little girl who is growing,
watching me with defenseless trust
like nobody has before.
Gestures, smiles, brief anger, and talks—
I gather them in endless memory.

Sweet Melody, my Purpose
from the first breath,
you chose me,
and I felt beautifully complete.

I know that a real journey
begins through terra incognita
Every day is surprisingly different.
I accept with relief my passing.
I see your blooming wisdom
in thinking smiles, and authentic recognition.

My Daughter, I want to give  
as much love and acceptance as you need.
Taking your hand and letting you go
when you’re ready
to walk into life on your own—
watching the indigo sky.
Breathing freely, without anxiety.
After each fall, another resurrection comes.

I am here, I hope to stay a long while
to finally return to my last home,
without fear, with some tears.
Please, keep embracing this existence
with good and lost people around.
Be sure that I will smile
in your still-beating heart
giving you warmth.
.

I read
what you wrote.
It is beautiful,
and not mine.

I have laid those bones to rest—
not in spite,
but in mercy.

Your voice is strong.
Let it carry you forward.
I won’t follow.
But I will listen
from far away,
in peace.