There is a girl
A light slowly burning out
Trapped in a world
Stuck between dreams and reality

With wings, she could fly
But anchors hold her down
Feathers clipped
And dreams destroyed

Every time she runs
Every time she sets herself free
They bring her back
They lock her up again

She's not sure what she wants
But she can feel it
And she can see it
Just out of her grasp

Oh, how she longs to stretch
To grow an inch or two
And reach out for it
And make it hers

But they tie her down
They hold her back
They tell her no
They say she can't

But underneath her hopeless eyes
There is strength
Such as a tiger would hold
So strong, yet so weak

She is different
And they do not like it
They don't understand it
But she knows the truth

Because the reason they hold her back
Is because they want what she has
They see her light
And if they can't have it, it needs to die

And the girl, she knows
She sees that one day they will forget
They will leave the door open just a crack
And in that instant, she'll be free

They'll see her soar
Higher than they ever imagined
So high they cannot see her
And she'll be free

I'm scared for my sanity.
I'm scared for my family.
I'm scared for the future me.
I'm scared of who I used to be.

Used to be sleeping sweet,
But now I dream of city streets
In a town where I'm alone,
Don't got no home --
And I wake to find reality's not far off...

Late night conversations with the one who shares my DNA
Are frightening to me, and now I want to run away
Out into the woods where solitude will comfort me,
But the shadow me will follow shortly,
Yeah, I know she'll surely come for me --

'Cause I can run, but I just can't seem
To hide away from the me inside of me.

I fear for my daughter.
I fear for my son.
I fear for the moment the war is truly won.
I fear that I will live to see the day my shadow dies,
And end up feeling empty inside, despite...

Take me away from here.
Help me swallow all my fear.
Give me sight so I may see
All that lies ahead of me.
Allow me to set my soul free!

*Who is this person I call "me"?

My insides crash
And my lungs explode
And my eyes squeeze shut
And everything is urgent.
Muscles tense like that last argument -
You yelled, I cried.
Isolate. Isolate.
Go away.
Numb, yet bursting with pain;
Shot down & wounded.
Truly an attack.

Laying beside you, I'm a breathless contradiction:
Burrowed in the earth, held constant and strong,
Yet weightlessly floating above the seaside bluffs --
The atmospheric whistling sending me up, up, up.
I tried lifting you with me, but this wistless current was only meant for one --
Only sent to separate, to end before we had begun.

You're an accidental anvil,
A sole coyote that hunted a suburban puppy dog
And felt remorse.
The only one to regret killing such beloved pet
(But you know you'll do it again come Friday).
Survival outweighs compassion immeasurably.

Let me down now?
You always seemed so good at it before.
My lungs grew heavy and my tongue is sore
From tracing your name silently along the backs of my teeth,
But it's like an overworn stick of gum.
The flavor's right there on the package,
But all the taste is gone.

You told me exactly how we would end --
The rest of our stash of smuggled fireworks shooting out all at once,
The grand ******* finale.
But the one thing that you never said was when.
I guess I should've asked.

Numb.
I'm the careless, selfish person I never wanted to become.

Eighteen years of being alone has left me jaded and believing love doesn't ******* exist. Guys will settle for my body for a night with no intention of knowing my mind.

And, perhaps worse, some even stoop so low as to pretend to be interested in me - ask me about my family, my religion, my passion, my stance on politics - with the underlying intention to just use me and never speak to me again.

Those are the ruthless kind of boys who give ****** up, broken girls like me a glimmer of hope. There's nothing crueler than making the hopeless hopeful - earning their trust only to crush it again.

And now I can't look at the stars without thinking of him. I knew we'd never love each other, and was honestly only remotely attracted to him.

He was just the first boy to ever look at me that way - like I was something to be desired. He took what he wanted under a thin veil of respect, then left me staring at the stars and feeling like the stupid girl I am.

We were never meant to be in love.

and as much as they say not to romanticize depression, there's something beautiful about the way her sobs escape her mouth when all she wants to do is escape reality, jealous of her tears for being on their path to newfound freedom. there's something ******* poetic about the trail they make down her cheek, pale from spending endless days indoors too afraid to face the sunshine when all she sees is the moon. it's magical how her heart can literally feel the shattered fragments of lives left behind, tearing her apart completely from the inside out. she sits alone, troubled by never being pretty enough, while true beauty surrounds her. true. *******. beauty.

Do not fall for these sweet illusions,
They're just a symptom of your confusion --
The hazy smog of your mind's pollution.
Believing it is not the solution.

Nobody knows the real you.
No one can ever see.
And all those who try to reveal you
Will surely fail -- undoubtedly.

They love the you they think they know,
Adore the one you're not.
They're grasping mere mirages though,
You'll never be the one they want!

And though he makes you want to sing,
Please do not be fooled --
For if he did know everything,
His "passion" would be cooled.

She walks with friends, but still alone
Hiding behind drinks and laughs
Doing anything to shut out reality
To conceal the truth

They think she's brave
They think she's strong
They don't even know her
And that's just the way she wants it

She's ashamed of her past
Of things she couldn't help
People she couldn't save
Scars she can't erase

She's merely a girl
A girl who's lost so much
That she is blind to what happiness really is
To what living really means

She used to be sick
She used to fear that every day
Every painstaking, torturous day
Would be her last

But she lived
She's one of the lucky ones
So maybe she is strong
But not in the way they think

She lost her grandfather as a child
Never really got to know him
But she hears he loved her
And she thinks she loved him

She tried using boys to fill the hole in her heart
To ease her pain
And make her happy
And help her feel

But they never put her first
They never really knew
How she needed them
Why she wanted them

Her father passed on a few years back
Fell victim to the same plague that nearly took her life
Why him?
Why then?

She was lost
She was broken
She ignored the pain
She tried to bury it

But she's just a girl
A girl who loves too much
But loses more
And cannot understand

Her mother pressures her
Says she needs a man
Someone to fix her
Someone to make her settle down

But she's not ready to admit she's ready
That she can finally move on
Because it's easier this way
It's simpler to ignore than to feel

So for now she's lost
Shutting out those who care
Running away from the truth
Hiding behind drinks and laughs

She's beautiful.
He's gorgeous.
Me?
I'm painfully average.

I'll be the girl with her head hung low
And you'll be the perfect boy in the imperfect world
And together we'll be us

How am I
       supposed to be strong
               when all I want
                       is to bask
                              in the glory of

    brokenness?

An eye for an eye,
A heart for a heart.
You stole mine, so I went for yours
But found no place to start.
For where a heart should surely be,
A sign was in its place
(I guess it's common courtesy),
And this is what it states:

"I took my heart to give to you
To show I love you so,
But that same love grew wings and flew,
And where it is, I do not know!
I've taken yours to keep it safe until it finally lands.
Until then, I'll remember our last embrace and dream of your romance."

I hope your heart does soon return, and then to mine does bind --
For one heart without another is such a pitiful thing to find.

And if I could keep loving you in misery or be happy on my own,
I'd rather be alone.

I don't want to live like Brian;
I don't want to live by dying.
Everybody wants to love him;
He doesn't know how to let them.

I don't want to be like Brian;
I know when he smiles he's trying
To regain the feeling --
The love, the pain, the healing.

It's overwhelming being
Obligated to love her back.
Love's a burden,
A burning match --

He holds it,
Watching it turn black,
But he doesn't feel the heat.

I've got this nasty little secret
That I'm finally ready to give,
And here it is:

I'm afraid that in this life
I've died more times than I've lived.