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Sep 2019 · 1.5k
The truth of throwing
KT Sep 2019
Love, such a big word
Creeping for years around
With presumptions of its meaning
Floating around
With emotions far from disjoint
In a flurry
Through your body, mind
Momentarily present
Yet timelessly thrown
Into your toddler meaning of love
From your empty Bayesian trap
That builds you whole
Until your end you've met

So many different versions
Certainty will never be met
Yet trapped in a single word
It doesn't do it justice
But that just might be alright
For love
Is not meant to be spoken

You start out in a fairy
Unscathed from reality
After a mother's love
You think the world is kind
Without a mother's love
It's cold but you still have hope

You throw your youth outside
Into the gust of eyes
Where you catch a glimpse
Of a girl or a guy
That makes your blood boil
And you're still flying
Throw all your *****
Without thinking of dying
And no matter if it lasts a moment
A reciprocated month
Or an unrequited year
You come out shattered
Reality didn't care
Nothing after mattered

But there you didn't know
That that guy or girl
Is a girl or guy too
You're not the only one
There's everyone else too
Your initial lust
Or a try at a shell of love
Is selfish at base
How ever much
Your emotions
Pointed else

But that did pass
And the several next throws too
Whether months or years
Summer or winter or summer
A cloud followed you there
The cloud carrying
Your void of attention
However big or small
Your loneliness sharp
Whether seconds long or
Weeks on end, quiet yet loud
Your need to be loved,
Recognized, understood,
To be acknowledged present
To be accepted, alive
By a person
Rattling your lust

However above,
In the cloud where you placed
Every next spike of passion
Of a guy or a girl
As bright as the sun,
For the moment
Their face on the idol shone bright
Following your daily life around
And with every next crack
Of reality's peckered constant tap
Your idol cracks
It falls down
Your heart it smacks
The sunshine is over
Your cloud is empty again
The idol faceless remains,
Yet follows you still

Time on end,
Time, it goes blank
Faceless the oddity remains
Your concept of love
From solid, to liquid, to the cloud
It migrates - shapeless, formless,
Horrid, repulsive, addictive, banished
But hey
But hey!
Another glimpse
Lights your fire
Puts on a face
Energizes into matter
The shapeless concept, of love
Quicker than an arrow
Throws down its mollusc, fiery and sparkly
Tentacles, now into form
Grabbing your whole body
Obsesses, possesses
Choking your insides
Paralyzing you whole
"Oh hey
It's you
I liked a thing you did
How you look
A thing you said
You formed into my eyes
And now you're in my head
And oh
That thing you did, how you look, what you said
Repeats every day for you
I want that"
Paralyzed there you stand
Seconds you shared turn into hours
Time stretches
Your mediocrity devours
But wait a second
This world of yours ain't the realm we live in
That person is its own
With all the background it comes with
As heavy as your own
Much richer than your conception current
And not richer than the sunshine you imagine
But in reality that person weighs
However uglier the truth it makes
However much real hurt
To your table brings
An amalgam of truth and desire
You idol feeds

You go home
Maybe you create
Something out there
As a proof of your time
Spent in that oily chokehold
No matter if you get close to that person
Or not
No matter how much time is spent
How much sunshine you think you got
You'll learn your idol
He or she, is not
Your concept of love
Still selfish

But maybe
Just maybe
A random person walks in
A friend
Of mutual ****** preference
Of course
Someone you'd not write poems about
Someone you'd not draw in your thoughts
Someone your lust smolders at best at first
Someone that sticks by your side
Someone your idol accepts not
While there your idol
Faceless or not
Slowly fades away
Your voids are filled
By giving
And having being given in return
Equally self-less
Your base is solid now
Out of the dead molusc
Your meaning of love,
With the speed of a supernova
With the frequency of a pulsar
With the density of a white dwarf
Blasts into you like a shockwave
Lights into you like a furnace
Is finally thrown into your Bayesian experiment
A meaningful, concrete test case
That you can rethrow however much again
And even if you reach its last throw
You've learned to self-lessly accept
Whatever comes next
For it's grown on you
And it'll never leave your side, till your end
And your model now knows
Where true warmth lies
Even if the coming days
Shiver in the void's cold grasp
Remember the light

For it has once grown on you
In its countless shapes and forms
Real, true love

Let's hope
For nothing does truly last
Jun 2019 · 131
KT Jun 2019
I'm making you more beautiful than you are, aren't I?
Until the next time I see you, and I say hi.

Playing it over and over in my head.
For a shimmer what you did and said.
For a moment what you waved around.
It got sealed up tight and sound.
Like from a crime scene I got it all.
All subliminal ticks, however small.
I knew when you saw me in that hall.
When I saw you in that room against that wall.
That was the moment I was hungry for.
I knew whatever happens, I'd be hungry more.
The instant you presence near me was taken.
I knew that I'd be dealing with a break in.
You robbing from my thinking space.
My thoughts building your perfect face.
For days after we've met in that place.
I'd think of your pristine grace.
What you held in those moments few.
Behind those eyes pearly two.
Of the breathlessness I hazed myself into.
Did you see me like I saw you?
I hate holding on to hope and belief.
But that's all I have now, reveries, reality is a thief.
Until and if you ever tell me your side.
The wall will stay up, our thoughts never collide.
But did you, did you notice me all over the place?
How I puppy-eyed your sunbathed face.
How we both warmly occupied that space.
Impatience will now eat away my days.
For the next time I see your face.
Will I be out of this exit-less maze?
Get me out, please let me hear your voice.
One more time by chance's choice.
Now with the remnant flickers I've gathered.
Of those memories chaotically scattered.
And processing turned up to eleven.
I'm half-present in my every twenty-four seven.
Working on what should be, could be, would be.
Did you, do you, will you, remember me?

Until the next time I see you and say hi, again.
May 2018 · 534
A Dream
KT May 2018
I dream of God
I dream of me
I dream of me, being God, being me.
I dream of life
How fragile - life, the dream
I dream of life, beyond a century.
I dream of power
I dream the world
Unconstrainable, irrepressible, me.
I dream of knowledge
Limits, never-ending
Vast capacities, knowing, more.
I dream of nature
It being kind
I dream of breaking, building, it apart.
I dream of existence
Something more
Than banal feuds, than rocks and bones.
I dream creation
Destruction, change
Meaningless, meaningful, who's to say?
I dream of time
Washing, over me
I dream of a dream, a bit more..
I dream alone
I dream a dream
Where space is not, this empty.
What maniac would make it
Like this
There isn't one.
I dream of humanity
All trying to dream
In vain, it all goes away.
I dream of people
Not being *****
Why do we do this, the loneliness, oh my.
I dream of laws and rules
Society, the hypocrisy..
We're all swine, apes, as benign?
I dream of you
You reading this
Pick up your jaw, you thoughtless stale ****.
My dream is hope
My dream, I guess
Not going anywhere, as with hope.
I dream of others
Dreaming with me
Away you blank faces, don't look at me like that.
I dream of the sun
I dream of the open
Freedom, huh, my dream is more real..
I dream of doing
Dreaming, doing everything
Not quite possible, as far as possible is.
I dream of more
Me being more
More than my cracky body, brain.
The dream is here
It will stay
My dream, my cry to reality.
I dream of me
I dream of my life
Being more
Than a single human life.
I dream
It's just me
Apr 2018 · 159
My Beatrice (Remake)
KT Apr 2018
Not the first thing to come to mind
Hidden in the back of your head,
A fragment of once passed,
I am almost forgotten.

Not that I ever knew much about
The touch of your breath or how it felt.
Stripped from presence, I only knew,
From a far what I felt and saw.

Day after day, every next day's the same.
You with your own, and me on my way.
Rarely, and not lately, our paths intersect.
And you, don't have a clue, that you live in my head.

Just so you know -
I don't mean to persuade, ******, flatter,
Or somehow try to appear to you and start to matter.
My image for you is of something greater.
It's an unfeedable hunger,
An irresistible need, a longing,
And nothing other.

It's just that the thoughts of you
Bring calmness and create
Bits of tranquility in my mind,
Where I find solace, help and companionship in thought.

And on those rare moments where I glimpse in your life
I spend my day with a grin,
Because I get to taste yours,
A second life, other than mine,

Sometimes, I am even jealous for how distant we are.
But that's how you grew on me, and that's all we are.
You grew roots on my loneliness from very very far.
You grew together with my experience, me growing up.
You hold ground only in the world, that borders nothing but my skull.
It's really nothing much, don't mind it all, at all.
I don't think I'd ever get involved in your real life after all.
You're just a highly improbable wish, I'm not quite sure I wish.
You're a daydream, you're a thought,
A flyby memory, a comfort imaginary.
My muse, my fairytale,
In my perfect deck, you're in the back of every card.
The face on my cereal box.
Your image pumps together with my heart.
Apr 2018 · 152
KT Apr 2018
My current thoughts in my head and all that I am
That nobody sees but me
One day will be equal
With all that is real and ever will
When all is gone and rocks are sand
Reality and me, we will both be the same
Both equally dead, both equally real
And that thought makes me disturbingly calm
Jan 2018 · 213
Wild Hair (Remake)
KT Jan 2018
As the ripe of night passes by
he lays on his back and looks to the sky.
His eyes, shivering, turn to her face;
Covering her gently, fixing his gaze.
Staring back in the broad open he thinks
of how this creature came to be next to him.
He runs his fingers from her thigh to cheek
and he counts all the stars reflected in her pale, ivory-hued skin.
A cascade of raven black curls rain down her neck,
they wildly gallop across her slender white back.
Contrary, and just as the Sun rays in darkness alone;
Her photo-negative palette, a universe of its own.
She's a creation delicate, painted in colors opposite to the night;
She almost seems like she'd been chosen to be,
long before the stars gave birth to their light.

As dawn comes by,
even before sunrise, she lights up the sky.
He has never seen something so beautiful,
as that slow waking, oh her eyes!
No other sight in this world could feed his gaze
like that half-woken confused look, oh her milky face!
Her body rustling, her arms tingling, a voice silken,
she tries to speak - husky and brittle, oh her crimson lips!
And as she whispered, still slightly in her dreams,
he silently chuckled and praised all,
all that stardust since the birth of time,
for gathering for but a moment, into life,
for gathering into something so rare,
so rare, this girl and her wild untamed hair.
Nov 2017 · 749
KT Nov 2017
There came a time for time to be,
And for an unknown reason,
Or simply the absence of one,
A lump of hot primordial pudding or something,
jumpstarted the universe into being, for whatever that means.
That's what I was told anyway.
After some time dictionaries came to be on this not so particularly special rock, which were meant to connect words with meaning, or so were they told.
But dictionaries did a poor job there, as the creatures that invented them didn't have a clue what meaning and purpose is in the first place.
Yet they were the ones that invented them too, probably as means of comfort for their existence and survival.
That comfort was almost always fictitious though, as purpose was also.
The Universe, by now, was just spinning lumps of rocks and matter, why would it need something as primal as these creatures' purpose?

They called it time, yes.
Mixing around the universal soup, with a spoon which was nowhere to be found.
Whoever was making this soup was a terrible cook though.
What idiot would want that much rocks in his teeth?

Anyhow, rock after rock,
those dictionary creatures started thinking they they thought, and that's where it all went bottoms up.
They were creating more of them all the time too, or at least that's what they called it, reproduction.
But little did they know, this (re)production of theirs would make no difference whatsoever to the soup's taste.

Their reproduction involved exchanging fluids between two specimens to make a new one out of a countless possible ones.
You see, many factors like time, place, what opposite specimen would one choose out of millions at that particular time and what those specimens have ingested that morning, or did they simply spill their previous load on the floor, played part in this most improbable lottery where a spawn spawned into existence and all other possible ones went down the drain, just like that. The most cruelest of fate did these creatures had with their reproduction, but not any less cruel as the rest of the universe.

On a sweaty midsummer evening, in an insignificant place and in an  insignificant time on the rock these creatures called their own, in a little shack, all was set for the reproduction lottery to happen yet again.
A single protein cell made it to the egg, which whom from now on we will call Billy as that is the name his makers gave him. Most of his Billy-brothers and Billy-sisters never had the chance to even form as protein cells, but most unfortunate were the least in numbers; The ones that were so close, together with Billy in grasping existence, just got spilled around or inside the parents genitals - or just on the ground, never seeing daylight like Billy will. Their existence just ceasing there and then. Not such a happy life story, huh. Some might argue all of them were half-Billies, which really, makes it even worse. You might even argue that Billy becomes Billy at the moment of his first breath, and becomes more Billy as years go by, and memory sticks to his existence in a single thread of time. That is also true, but in that case, do I choose my fate or is it already chosen for me? - asked Billy. From future old dying Billy's perspective, everything is firm and single in his life. Everything is written and done. But was it already like that for Billy's parents? Would Billy be anyway? Is everything we see as random, already done, simply because the path is one? Those were the questions that bothered Billy through his life. One day he would see the world as his own for the taking, sunny and free, a world waiting for Billy, and other days were gloomy and Billy wouldn't think or decide anything, simply because he thought it was already decided.

A mediocre and simple life Billy had, with some ups and downs and a few non-Billy events, with a job he did for the food he ate and the home he had. Billy said that he enjoyed life. There were times when he didn't want his life and wanted to prove to everything that he can do whatever he likes and decides, and take his life, but wouldn't that still be fate? So he thought that life is always worth it, because without it, there is nothing. It's empty. There is no Billy. So multiple times, Billy came to the conclusion that he could just go Billying around until there is Billy.

Billy was a kid, went through school and all that, and Billy asked:
Why am I? Why?
Billy went on to be an adult and had his struggles and fun, and Billy asked:
Why am I? Why?
Billy was 30, met a girl he liked and she got pregnant, and Billy asked:
Why are we? Why?
Billy was 50, with his kid grown now with questions of his own, and they both asked:
Why am I? Why am I? Why?
Billy was 70, with his wife, his kids, and even grandkids now, and he asked again:
Why am I? Why?
Billy was dead, with his legacy ahead, for a few years, yet still there, remembered.
And Billy did not ask again.
His wife held his life to her thoughts most, until she died too.
Their kids mourned them most, and remembered them often, until they died too.
The grandkids knew Billy only when he was aged, kept his memory fond, of their childhood days.
Billy's youth was lost, his adulthood too, and now it's time for his elderhood, as the grandkids die too.
Billy is now a picture in his grandgrandkids' attic, and a name they know, they've sometimes heard, of a time long gone behind them.
Billy is now a story, rarely mentioned, until all the storytellers die too.
Billy is now gone, except for some factual data in an archive somewhere, a number in history, a stack of bones slowly decomposing.
The future becomes history, Earth goes around the Sun still.
Until humans are something else, or simply no more.
And all have left Earth, until the Earth is no more.
Scorched by the Sun, the Sun is gone too.
And the Universe goes on, until it does no more.

Long past, long long past, long after the Universe is dead;
And nothing is all there is;
An echo is there, an echo is heard.
The whole of nothing trembles and as loud as it can in nothing answers:
Mar 2016 · 1.0k
The Sworn Clout in the Ear
KT Mar 2016
The fourth of a fourth,
Born of a blood of fire,
Unlikely he was,
But never less right.
A bald boy of ten,
Groomed in dirt for his name,
He was pure as white light,
Around mischief and grief.
His stood up for his name,
As his ancestor named the same,
How long has it been,
Since a king's been the same?
A Tall tree beside him,
The sworn star above his head,
A flea that that's come to be a knight,
Raised that boy all good and right.
From hedge to hedge,
From this lord to that lord,
With Maester and the straw hat,
They rested under stars with salt beef and ale.
The Lunk swore his sword,
And with it a clout,
Until he swore again,
When the clout was needed not.
The boy became king,
And he was still the same boy,
He married for the good of love,
And so did his sons.
That's all right you say,
But the realm favored it not,
They hated the good king,
For not taking their blood as bride.
The king rose his name from ashes,
And wanted it risen even more,
He tried hatching an egg,
But all it hatched was death.
It is not certain what happened,
Whether it was the egg or the realm that got them,
Egg and Dunk met their end,
At Summerhall's flaming hand.
But, at the same place and hour,
When the hedge tales were done,
A prince was born in fire,
Later called the Last Dragon.
Time went on,
And often the prince returned,
Playing in ruins on his harp,
Songs about the dragon and the friend, and their lives.
Mar 2016 · 2.6k
KT Mar 2016
Night's willow, guard me well,
Else the candle is out and I'm back again.
Little birdie, sing me a song,
While you pluck the stars, one by one.
Sky's clear, from there to here,
Hummingbird's safe in all the worlds we share.

Day's wail, there you are again,
The birdie's flown, I hope to see it again.
Willow's whithered, wax is dun.
The song is done, I can't think myself back.
The Sun is up, also the moon,
A remnant of night, less sung about in daylight.
It's real, I think at least,
The birdie's somewhere, woken as same.
Jan 2016 · 362
Blabber in Clouds
KT Jan 2016
Here, here, here I am,
A blabbing fool that blabs
Withing the limits of his will
Here, in the mirror I am,
A dusty face looking at glass
Looking at thoughts, gathered always around
In a cloudy mess
Never, never, no
It shall never be
All those stories stacked up there
I shall never live to see
Strings, strings, all around me,
Reality's quite dull
It isn't very funny
It saddens me a lot
Being grounded for life
With thoughts above the sky.
A pea born and dead in blackness
It can only tell what it feels
And it ***** its meat around
So other meats can hear.
Never, never, no
Never shall I know
What it feels like being something more.
No, never, no
Never shall I know
A story other than my petty own.
No, no.. Never, oh
I'll never leave this current form
It is what it is
And it can never be something else
No, no..
Another passing thought
Never to be caught
There it flies on,
While I'm cemented in the ground
There, there..
Now born, now dead,
There's the thought and then it's gone
All along.. Never to be..
For as long as it will
Be given time to fly
Under its own will
There, there..
It will search for you, doe
Jan 2016 · 530
Share with a kindred soul
KT Jan 2016
With thoughts to myself
Only left alone with mine
I travel through worlds
Occurring in my mind
Daily occurrences, every bit of experience
We store it inside, and it plays around every day and night
Alone in my mind, I feel full, never emptied
Experience never shared, I feel it's felt for nothing
Bind it with another soul
A soul of a kindred mind
And let it unravel all
As you enjoy every second as it passes by
Jan 2016 · 456
Avada Kedavra
KT Jan 2016
Under moonlight, a top a spire
Time has passed, and it's yet to expire
Passing years, they pass as ever
A curse that can't be stopped, oh, never
Witfull, young, he did his bidding
He grew to be an old man, one wise and riddling
Life's not tender and fair
The old man always knew what part's his share
Some things last, some don't
Time solves all, it's pace is sound
Like ripples of a wave, our lives snogg in time
No part in it's say we have, oh how the bells always chime
Under moonlight the old man stood proud and tall
Avada Kedavra awaits us all
Jan 2016 · 362
KT Jan 2016
Flickers of light in the eternal darkness
We tick for a moment and then we are gone again
In darkness it is born and dark will be the end
For there is no light if we aren't around to see it
KT Jan 2016
Halfway clutched
With my rib cage crushed
I said the words out loud
"She's both pretty and smart, she's it"
And that's not a thing to come from me
For anybody else than you
For you are the only so far
That convinced me that you're right
And that spooned out my heart
From only a handful passes in time
That lapsed in our lives

And on nights like these
When your name goes by
In some passing unimportant talk
And quickly forgotten by those who asked and heard
I dialoge with the walls
For there is no other to hear
It only echoes across the air
For a brief moment in time
And then gets inside me again
To be trapped 'till the next time
Your name is mentioned again
My words are not heard by you
I do wish they were

Your rent will always be paid for that place in the corner of my heart
Nov 2015 · 335
I'm a Walker
KT Nov 2015
You might say I'm in a haze.
Hell, I admit.
I've been in some other worlds
For the past couple of weeks.
It's a cycle I go through every now and then.
Down in the pages or in front of the screen.
It's kind of a habit, kind of a routine.
I'll use it now as an excuse to say,
Something I've thought up all day today.
And probably it'd be stupid for me to read it some other day.
But I'll put it here just because I may.
Holed up in my bed,
All day with The Walking Dead.
I've nurtured a wish and some other tiny thing.
I wished for that world to be true.
Not that it can..
But still...
Let me finish saying what I have!
It might be childish, foolish or even, well, a bit crazy
To wish for the apocalypse.
But hear out my reasons.
Odds are that I'll probably be down fast,
If it ever happened..
But it is good to think
That I'll be free then...
Free to run off guns blazing
Down to my primal self
..Somehow.. Free..
And save her too from..
And myself..
From our pitiful pointless shame,
That we play out everyday,
In hopes that we will somehow, someday really live..
Stories are stories,
Even that apocalypse wouldn't be so bright, as it is there.
It'd probably be worse..
But don't forget -
Me, You, Everybody,
We are walkers even in this world as it is today!
Nov 2015 · 327
KT Nov 2015
It's such a pity, really...
Such an awful shame
Born in the same time and place
Yet so far away..
In the grand scheme of things
We're but a mere footstep away
We're so close to each other
Yet so far away..
Grown in the same world
But somehow they are two
We are both the same
Yet so far away..
Lonely.. I know.. Me too..
My thoughts are with you
We'll meet up tonight
When we sleep and dream
I hope...
Nov 2015 · 424
My Beatrice
KT Nov 2015
Not the first thing to come to mind
Hidden in the back of your head,
A fragment of once passed,
I am almost forgotten.

Not that I ever knew much about
The touch of your breath or how it felt.
Stripped from presence, I only knew,
From a far what I felt and saw.

Day after day, every next day's the same.
You with your own, and me on my way.
Rarely, and not lately, our paths intersect.
And you, don't have a clue, that you live in my head.

Just so you know -
I don't mean to persuade, ******, flatter,
Or somehow try to appear to you and start to matter.
My image for you is of something greater.
It's just an unfeedable hunger,
An irresistible need, a longing,
And nothing other.

It's just that the thought of you
Brings a calm feeling and creates
An undisturbed peace and happiness in my mind,
Where I find solace, balance, help and a lending hand.

And on those rare moments where I glimpse in your life
I spend my day in joy,
Because I get to taste yours,
A second life, other than mine,

Sometimes, I am even jealous for what you have and are.
It's really nothing much, don't mind it all, at all.
You're just the highly unlikeable wish to happen to me.
That pumps in me together with the rhythm of my heart.
Oct 2015 · 299
To The Stars
KT Oct 2015
Eight plus two rotating specks
Revolve around their counter-specks,
And possible is all we see and hear,
All the blue and green and the air we breathe.
The food we eat, the crap we ****,
It all goes around,
Everywhere around our pale blue dot.
A carbon-based meaty crumbs,
We make a men-made blanket all over the surface of our pale blue dot..
But, it's getting hot..
Let's not turn our greasy green carbon-based life into ash and dust.
For we are hope and a wonder made in light,
Let's cure our planet called Dirt.
And then let's go out to space and make others like Earth.
Let's move forward,
And be seen out in the stars' open sight.
Let us be galactic species, all good and right,
Glorified in eternal height.
Sep 2015 · 680
KT Sep 2015
Enveloping darkness
clusters around me,
leaving me sightless, soundless -
My chest wishes to burst open for the only thing left is
the slow clutch of my grieving hand
riping away the dead flesh
that surrounds my fleeing heart
and crushes my hollow bones
so darkness can eat away the warmth
that slowly pumps away -
fading into a steady buzz,
leaving me dead... I'm gone.
Sep 2015 · 442
Dry Suckerpunch
KT Sep 2015
well, I know you... don't.
You were always like that,
but I ignored that fact.
It's not your fault,
that now you are a cold-hearted *****.
... I thought you were to change.
Wait... It is your fault.
It's completely your ******* fault.
I gave you all you ever wanted
and you couldn't even remember
that I have a, now dead,  dog.
Yes.. You didn't like dogs.
You didn't like lots of things.
.. You liked lots of things.
But never, even once, have I seen through your eyes.
You never brought me inside.
You kept me shut, while
you could even see
inbetween my spine.
Maybe, that was your problem,
not knowing how to deal with.. problems.
You get scared, you run away,
you turn the other cheek,
and you, actually, believe that is how
you wipe a stain away.
But no, that way, you'll always have
a pile of **** behind your back.
When I met you...
You said you were changed
.. from some previous version of you.
A new you now, a new life,
asking me for a way out,
from the **** that you then left behind.
I helped you, I taught you, I formed you.
I gave you my sincerest hug.
I was proud, happy, strong for what I did...
And, somehow..
You ******* grew on me.
I fell for you.
I fell for the person I made inside you.
I know that at a time,
she really existed in you,
there, by my side.
Alone, away...
We had the world for ourselves.
I really thought, I found
my shiny bright companion star.
Time passed away fast,
and the dream reached dawn.
I knew it wouldn't always last,
but I never thought much of that.
I just enjoyed every second you ever gave me,
until you broke the clock and left me to rot.
We swam in springs,
with stars we played,
but when I looked around, to catch to a breath..
All I saw was desert.
My face dried out,
then I just wanted
another gulp of our spring,
while you were punching my teeth out.
Maybe, that is what you can't get and long for..
.. Always, another, one more pleasurable breath.
You really ******* woke me up.
I realised that a person can't be shaped or.. remade.
You know.. I just hoped..
That there can be change...
Another chunk of crap, behind your back... I think I now am.
Really? Why? Why ******* why?
At least, you could've said.. Goodbye!
You cut all strings, hoping you'll fly,
and that I'll just drop down and die!
But that is not how it works..
One day you won't be able to walk
from the weight of all your cut-out
left-over threads of strings.
You'll entangle and wrangle
and knot yourself up,
until you can no longer move.
I hope that then,
you'll remember
the summer girl you once were.
She, who's hidden inside you.
She, who's been my habit.
She, who a part of me will always love.
She, who is a piece of me.
She, engraved in my memory.

Never again... but I wouldn't know.
Sep 2015 · 2.8k
My Pillow
KT Sep 2015
Under willow trees,
Summer morning breeze,
Distant chirping, through the air, weary ease,
I lay by this.. heavenly sent,
white pearly face.
Two bodies, one place.
Tightly grappled, firmly squeezed,
warm blanket, overlapping knees..
Summer breeze, vivid clear morning ease,
I couldn't ever wish for a better place in time and space,
Here, by your heartbeat, on your skin, I even hear mine.
Oh, do what you do willow,
I will lay here by my pillow,
Oh, mine.
Aug 2015 · 301
Second Birth
KT Aug 2015
Even though we are lost to eachother now,
I quite often think of what you did for me and how.
Even though I am all ripe and grown now,
I quite often think of when I was a fragile little boy on your stripped white gown.
I was lone, forgotten, broken and ****** up,
and you taught me that I have knees, that I can stand, run and show the world that I also have a "me"
Even though I am standing now,
I quite often thank you with a thought.
The image, I built for and from you, showed me a path, I am grateful to walk.
I still hold value in our values back then,
even though we've grown over them.
I quite often wish without a second thought,
and never with a doubt,
that everytime I see you again,
I see that same smile on your face from back then.
Thank you,
My companion in thought, my friend,
for birthing me for the second time back then.
Aug 2015 · 625
KT Aug 2015
In the middle
On the black steep grass overwhelmed by every step of every memory
Passes yet another one,
Unnoticed, Fading.. Irrelevant..
It matters not to the grass whether it ignites, burns, smokes or dies..
it does not know, it does not care,
it is only grass.
Oh, but the holder does.
He with his bag on his back of black and white,
tonight troubled, tomorrow not.
He is in a circe, until he himself, becomes grass.
Jul 2015 · 790
Blue Lantern
KT Jul 2015
I plugged in the lantern
and a shriek of light appeared
Iridescence shone on the walls
enough to see you over the pillow
I chuckled, then threw myself in again
but with care, so you I don't disturb the blue that shone on your cheek
Melody and lantern's soft buzz,
even light from dawn bit by bit appeared.
Every living thing outside woke,
but not me, I didn't even sleep.
Every minute is a day and I hope it stays that way.
I wish for a cloudy, rainy weather, but I also want to see the sun.
The smell I want
of fog, shore, mountain and ice
and most importantly
all your.. your.. everything you are..
next to myself
together under the blue lantern's light.
Jun 2015 · 473
KT Jun 2015
First sight deduction
or stereotype prediction,
taboo fortification
knotted in plain misconception
by acts of pre-given ramification
misguide from the fact, that brings us tension,
that love is not born from selection
or just wishing for perfection.
It is just a cocoon of growing affection;
worst, or sometimes best, grown to addiction.
Dreams are dreams and reality is always in sanction
none can take control of all our mutual action.
And if dreams come to life, they are often unlike your imagination,
for reality is not formed just by your petty brain tissue compilation.
A bond of two is formed just by investing time in growing devotion
and equal acceptance to open shared experience, led by satisfaction;
Pure, simple, unnoticeable shedding of the cocoon in prolonged joyful attraction
gives birth to the bliss of love that envelops both in now bonded shared adoration.
Jun 2015 · 559
KT Jun 2015
To the end of the road,
glittered by streetlamps
each of a different wavelenght,
you said we should go.
To the end and over the fence,
where the glitter is no more,
where the lights are seen from far,
where the lights are merged with the stary sky.
On the darkened grass, yet silver from the moon,
you said we should go,
where we are around it all
and not the other way around.
Where we can choose the path of the stars,
you pushed me down on the ground,
and I heard you giggle,
oh, that indescribably pleasent  sound.
May 2015 · 323
Steady Now
KT May 2015
I've always been the one back in the car
driving from behind, while the others sit with pride.
I didn't care whether I am noticed or not,
maybe afraid from the weight I'd get, if I sat in front.
But, I've always held the wheel, never closed my eyes,
I never put my trust in them, for that is what I am.

It's been all the same,
until you climbed in the back and said:
"Is this the place where I sit?"
Afraid again I am,
for what I want is you to stay here.
Afraid again I am,
for yet I again I fear that I would care.
I saw that you like the back more,
but they won't stop calling you in the front, for sure.
For the clean soul you also are,
you are afraid to listen to your own that you very much want.
You'll listen the others, for the caring soul you are.
I can not drag you back, for that is what I am.
Steady now, think what you want,
I say that, because I do care.
You can put your belt,
I know that you like it here.
You'll be better off.
I do welcome you to stay.
May 2015 · 8.8k
KT May 2015
I am quiet.
The silence I favor,
but not the one that dams every thought
that bubbles around our heads.
I'd like to rip it apart,
but I'll drown from the ripped quiet dam.
That silence I don't favor.
I am quiet again.
May 2015 · 440
KT May 2015
Down in my bed in the solace of night
drops of rain from slumber keep me apart
and the warmth of the thick yet soft blanket
plays no hand in the freezing of my breath.
Impatient, the shadows of the hollow tree
branch out, tirelessly dancing with my eyes
on the wall lighted by the lone street lamp,
timid in it's work, until it dies out.
A stale taste weighs from under the skin,
rashing my thoughts, unpleasent it is.
In tempo, the drops still in my head drum,
the taste I can't get out, the pound I can't stop.
At unease I am, for thick is the dream.
May 2015 · 967
KT May 2015
Yet I glimpse again,
yet again.
We never stop, do we?
It moves? It counts? Is it alive?
Or we just mark it as such?

Thrown in a waveless lake
waves the lake,
but the waves pass
And yet again
It is back to calm.

A circle they say,
That is how it looks from above.
Even if it is a line for us,
We only see as far the horizon.
I just hope that is true.

Yet I glimpse again,
yet again.
It never really stops.
It does move, it counts, it is really alive.
As long as we are here to mark it as such.
Apr 2015 · 570
Maybe a Dream
KT Apr 2015
Seeking that place where you forget the names of things
she sits down in her gray corner
waiting for her eyes to get tired and heavy.
A bit numb she remembers
that sticky smell of the lake
as her fingers pass down her face
but the greasy skin is long washed away.
Her dry skin that got cracked by the peaking sun
in a time where she could laugh and feel every line of her smile
knowing that there she will be warm
and just maybe for then be filled with life
is now what is missed.
Missed is the melody of the old rusty strings
from that old moldy wood
played in the same step
both at sunrise and sunset
as the dancing morning wind around her hair.
And especially missed
is the often made buzz
by the crumbled fingertips
when they miss a string
and make him blush
and even more when she smiles.
Apr 2015 · 579
KT Apr 2015
A story I read yesterday
about a father and son playing chess.
They were sitting over the board for hours now
arguing who is the king.
Which of those pieces wooden on that surface flat,
should be the one to be king.
The son was thinking and thinking, but he could not tell.
Troubled after a while he thought,
why his father asked him that.
"Who is the king? Who has always been king?"
Countless times before they played,
the question always remained the same.
The father, his son, he persistently asked -
who is the king?
The son like his father,
he wasn't an easy mind.
He wouldn't give up to a question so simple;
He was determined to prove his father wrong.
So many riddles by his father he cracked easy,
but this one, just wouldn't come to mind.
Protect it! Protect the king!
- said the father, with warm smile upon his son.
And the son deep in thought with fingers crossed
was just looking over the board;
..even more and more confused..
Moments ago I watched something.
It was a memo for a dead man.
On a beach that man was the father.
He played with his child around.
They were swirling in circles in the salty air,
before he rode into his last sunset.
Then the question hit me again - who is the king?
The screen went dark and the lights flickered to light.
Elevating murmur filled with clap, filled the room.
I turned back and I saw..
That father, that child, over and over again.
..everywhere, the whole room..
One jumping around, one sitting calm,
one excited, can't wait for fun,
the other just looking for his last piece of popcorn.
I watched upon those daughters and sons,
and then I realised who is the king.
KT Mar 2015
Oh no,
it was not of the ordinary kind.
It was not the ****** ****,
to leave a puddle in the bath.
It was not reckless, it was not thoughtless.
It was a **** of no other kind.

Oh when I think of it
and when I hear the crows
hovering above in the sound of the bell.
That rusty bell, when the sun is gone,
together with the crows,
on time they all sing,
precise as the ****.

Oh no,
it wasn't a bullet, shot in shake and fear,
it wasn't a sloppy slip, one fast and quick.
It was a **** foresighted and long before known.
It was silent, yet loud and felt.
A type of ******,
when a queen murders a king.

A type of killer she was,
who put poison in the chunk of bread
in the sight of the murdered.
That food was sweeter than life,
when eaten from the fingertips of the sensational murderess.
It was swallowed with joy,
yet known it is poison.

Simple, when looked from far,
venom she whispered and sipped,
from the killer red dry lips,
that ate away the skin.
Not a spot when on the spotlight,
she is a predator of no other kind;
The killer, claws the prey,
with the most gentle of touch.

It was not a moment, a blink of some day,
it was over and over,
every gasp, every second of every day.
It was not a knife to the back,
it was clean and open - wound to the front;
Facing her gaze,
oh, she pierced it right in the heart.
It was the sharpest of blades, over and over again...
As they say,
there are few swords that cut so deep,
as the blade of unrequited love.

As I walk now in the sun's light of noon
and remember the days,
I still feel the warmth of air passing in my open heart;
I still taste the blood of my already fallen skin.
I writhe a little...
Then I softly grin,
from cheekbone to chin -
I think of the time when you murdered me.
Mar 2015 · 435
From From To To
KT Mar 2015
All angles of the cube are still,
always the time is right to go for the ****.
Focus now, it sits on your head.
No, this is not the time to forget.
Plunder, scorn, sunder and forsworn,
be thunder, thorn, adorn and be mourned.
For the lotus is neither water nor air;
Do you really think there is a thing that is fair?
Fixate to the present - be lotus, be focus.
Never close your eyes, from all take notice.
Static the line, still is the beat,
only by work, soft is the sheet.
In this world, there are no buttons made of silk.
Here, exist only pins that spill blood in a layer thick.
If you want to do good,
take no one for a fool.
No sun's angel, no eyes in the sky
will save you from the thief that has no grief.
Father to son, son to father;
Who goes first?
Who pulls the trigger?
You can never run.
Focus, calm, invisible and light;
In shade on a cane the next stick you grab.
Either hammer or nail, you'll get to be one.
You decide, it is all one big con.
Whether in good or bad the seeds you plant,
it is all for the king, the children that the future chant.
Like a known seer,
or just alone in fear,
you also die in the end.
Mar 2015 · 5.2k
KT Mar 2015
Blown away in a moment, asunder,
by a breeze with a feel of shudder.
Blown from within the bone,
above my head, transparently shown.
I'm being ripped from tip to toe,
like from mother, without a woe.
The gush, it rings in the ears,
the stream is absent of my deepest fears.
Got rived - it was like nothing else;
Blown away in a second,
apart from all my cells.
Like silk in the hands of a weaver,
it is pleasant, yet I shiver.
Like a cup of cold water after a mint,
all across my body, comfortably skinned.
I didn't knew that I'll get clutched,
I never asked, to be touched.
Feb 2015 · 897
You are.
KT Feb 2015
What you are, that you ride,
but who you are, you decide.
If you dare for what you care,
you do climb, stair by stair,
and you do wear, smear by smear.
That you think, you can do;
What you do, you become.
Feb 2015 · 7.7k
Wild Hair
KT Feb 2015
As the ripe of night passes by
he lays on his back and looks to the sky.
A bold gaze he holds in his eyes
as he covers hêr gently under the sheets.
Staring in the broad open he thinks
of how all the universe came to be next to him.
His fingers run along from her thigh to cheek
as he counts all the stars reflected from her ivory-hued skin.
A creature delicate,
painted in colors contrary to the night,
seems like she was chosen to be
even long before those stars gave birth to their light.

As morning comes by,
even before the Sun, she illuminates the sky.
He has never seen something so beautiful,
as that slow waking of her eyes.
No other sight in this world could
feed his gaze like that half-woken confused pale face.
And as she whispered, still in her dreams,
he silently laughed and thanked all,
all that stardust throught the years,
for gathering into something so rare,
so rare, he saw only in her wild untamed hair.
Feb 2015 · 720
KT Feb 2015
For the past hour or so he stares at the wall,
dazed and confused;
He tries to read that writing on the wall,
the letters he himself wrote.
Not in a hurry, he forgot all that;
Just looking for something, on that surface flat.
He has no clue, what is written on the wall;
He can’t understand that rumbling noise all across that hall.
Some hardship eats him, distress of the heart,
baffled from that scrabble, bit by bit, he is teared apart.

The beating noise is all he hears.
Feb 2015 · 7.3k
Purple Lightning
KT Feb 2015
From far away a breeze in a rush comes;
From far away the sky breaks into crumbs.
A brightening purple lightning,
it is both enlightening and frightening.
In rhythm with my pulse flashes burst,
horripilated, in purple I am immersed.
With every heartbeat in my veins,
with every grain of sand in my hands,
I watch that ray of light on the edge of all my nerves,
how unpredictable it is, how it swerves.
First silent in a bare heavenly light
it strokes your skin, that godly shine.
Then loud, purple turns to night;
It brings forth hell from the most divine.
Tender lake, it does not wave, stars remain, above is calm;
Purple surrounds me, I’m in the middle of its palm.
Purple trembles the sand and lake, faster and faster,
without any pester, it just simply embraces all in fester.
Every breath like last I gasp;
I sit in awe, this is beyond any human’s grasp.
No reason, no choice, no need;
The most peaceful thing now I see, it is from it.
It does not decide, it just makes its own path;
Astonishing beauty I find in that purple, atop its wrath.
Feb 2015 · 892
The Moment Seizes Us
KT Feb 2015
On a hilltop underneath stars I am;
A thought that keps us all restless I have.
This little thing may I tell?
I scrached my knees, on them I fell…
Down I just sat,
trying to figure all passed, present and yet to be bred.
Everytime I blink my eyes,
the century just passes by.
Voiceless in my throat I feel a shout,
time just gets dried out.
Here in my time and place,
I’m now, only now with this face.
Can we really grasp that?
They all say, seize that moment,
do it when you can,
so you don’t feel like you fell.
But chasing it, I think it’s a pointless thing;
You are not with your current face
if you are moving in a non-existing pace.
Wear it once, just let it be,
wear the rhythm and you’ll see.
There is only right now.
Now is a needle, your hands that hold.
What was and is to come is just the wool;
It will be gone one day, it will fade,
but atleast you will be glad of what you made.
One day your skin gets thick;
And the other, flesheaters are dining on your hip.
On the moment you hold,
you will never get bored and old.
Embrace it, let it flow in,
in, up until your chin.
Get your head up for a while;
In the night there is really something wild.
Dream along a falling star;
Live that dream with every pump of your heart.
You can not seize the moment.
The moment seizes you.
Feb 2015 · 1.2k
Music Is A Woman
KT Feb 2015
On an orange field blessed by sunset
shards of broken glass lay on the ground
in the autumnal grass wind gently passes by
and soft as a swan’s feather
she dances around.
Sunlight drops on her eyes of sky
her pearly smile shines more than stars
and she looks to me, her eyes do not lie
for she is the purest jewel I will ever see in my live.
Like water, that gust of wind
she splits it with her fingertips
and a red breath-nourishing rose
she holds between her lips.
Music is a woman full of love
that loves carelessly until it hurts;
Her laughter will caress your skin
like that glass caresses that orange field.
In her, like in a true love I see
a reflection of freedom, reflection of all mine;
She is the bird to bring joy and peace,
the one to say “shush” and tell that it is fine.
Wherever may I roam,
with her, that place I can call home.
Feb 2015 · 1.4k
Sensation Of The Hopeless
KT Feb 2015
Are you… dead?
That moment when you are hanging?
When there is no more room;
When before you only is doom.
Nothing to lose, nothing to win,
just counting, sin by sin…
Animal before death,
stomped in the head.
That’s a terrible thing.
That’s a mad thing..

You know you’ve reached the end,
but you still have some breath on your hand.
How does that feel?
Are you afraid of your death that comes?
Or are you just ashamed of how your life has passed?
What goes in your head?
Do you recall every single memory?
Or are you just blank?
You between boulders,
the blade is on your neck,
the coffin is beneath your feet.
No more cards, no more moves;
You already played your deck…
Do you scream or do you just leave it silently bleed?

The one that has fully lived,
he doesn’t need hope no more;
for him everything is fullfilled.
Is there really such a man, a man that is truly full?
Has anybody finished the maze,
and went away with a smile on the face?
Feb 2015 · 594
My Own
KT Feb 2015
The sun is set it can’t be seen, still is day;
It is not dark, stars can’t be seen, night is here.
Not blue, not black, the clouds are just right;
Shading the horizon border,
combining black and light.
Haunting the sky, it just gets louder and louder;
What are these colors, so heavily pushed?
What is this odor, that binds me.. paralyzed, bushed?

My eyes see, lids are half shut;
My body can’t move,
it is busy dancing with the clouds.
These thoughts that I see,
they are not coming from me.
Who are you noble stranger?
..You who brings color to the clouds?
..You who makes it real even if I would dare not?
Feb 2015 · 622
A Single Tear
KT Feb 2015
On the frozen aisle both roads evenly alike
dry breath is taken, it is not breathed.
The air mocks, peeling the skin,
skinned from the inside, it is red.
Seen but not felt are the ****** hands;
Felt but not seen are the ****** lungs;
A layer of ice thickened on the warm red
dams the veins not dead nor alive.
Silent, not a whisper,
the frozen calmly eats;
There is no bad no good,
all thoughts stagnantly anchored.
Not a soul around, not a soul inside,
a cold face is all there is;
A single tear is all to spare.
Feb 2015 · 3.1k
Bald Head Sun
KT Feb 2015
A cup of coffee soakes the aroma everlasting
that corrupts the air, shaking into harmony.
Moisture into ice, steaming up the hose;
Caressing her timid white flesh as
kisses breeze through the window
fill the room with silent words
in the ear soundless and angelic
and laughing crazy trills through his veins.

Over the shoulder, from the neck
his palm waves down the spine.
Two black gems, turn from night to light;
Big bald head peaks over the street as it
gathers drops from moisted heat
it rays on black silky hair
glittering from beneath the skin
and taste of pale freedom maddens him
Feb 2015 · 1.1k
KT Feb 2015
You have dreams, don’t you?
Every night before you sleep,
I’m sure there is something you long for to have, do or keep.
I know, everyone has plans;
but not everybody is ready to dance.
You see, there are these little things I call cramps.
I don’t know if you got me or not;
I’m talking about those little things behind every evil plot.
You know that time,
when disappointed of the day you go to bed,
and the only thing that can put you to sleep,
are the lies to your soul you have fed?
Them are those cramps,
Them are those damps.
In the morning you get up, I guess all sore;
but nothing looks like the thoughts you had the night before.
All those things you said you’d do,
now seem foolish, pointless, untrue…
The past and future seem within reach,
and the present looks like one hell of a glitch.
That is just the thing we tell ourselves,
looking for excuses, shuffling between shelves.
But we all deeply know,
that firstly before us, that is low.
Motivation is bad, it won’t get you what you seek.
The mind changes all the time, it is terribly weak.
Persistence is what you need;
Your own discipline is what you need to feed.
Push it to the edge,
until it’s hanging from the ledge.
Do it, even if it hurts,
if that is what your soul lurks.
Then you’ll know what you want, what you need.
Opinions and perspective change all the time;
Your own hill, only you can climb.
It’s not important what you think is stupid or smart.
Get your aim at the stuff that fill your heart.
Aim and shoot,
shoot and in your target the bullet beroot.
Rub and scratch those little cramps,
those nasty damps;
Give it all, yell and shout,
until the cramps get burned out.
Feb 2015 · 1.4k
Next-Level Apes
KT Feb 2015
Arms, legs, body and head,
you can not deny it,
we are just a plague widespread.
Across me sits this smelly man,
I see in him nothing but an orangutan.
I look at his face, look at his hands,
there is nothing more than a monkey in pants.
I try to think of how does he think,
but what do I know;
I’m written by the same ink.
Years and years, nothing but a lion’s purse,
now seconds passed,
we think we are masters of the universe.
A load of meat floating on a rock,
I guess we are lucky,
but we haven’t even learned to walk.
We hope and dream our dreams,
we want to achieve,
but everything is wrong when it’s not how it seems.
Everyone is a god, everyone is supreme;
When their belly is full,
everyone lives in his own dream.
But take away the feast,
get in their way;
Man becomes the most savage of beast.
We haven’t lost that jungle sense,
no diffrent than animals,
our population is just more dense.
But I guess we are noble in a way,
that’s the greatest irony of all;
Because I know how to say what I can say.
Ape does not know that he is ape,
he does not know the diffrence between an apple and a grape.
He does not even know if his own kin he rapes;
but for **** sure we should know,
that we are nothing but the next-level apes.
Feb 2015 · 688
Spread-Wing Raven
KT Feb 2015
The road is straight,
No curves, nothing is bent;
I only see what’s right in front of me.
Faster than sound,
I whistle the air;
Not a speck in my eyes,
I’m head to head with my demise.
Broke loose, now things are right;
I’m enjoying this, I’m sitting tight.
Nothing on my back is tied,
I’m on my final ride.
I grab my throttle hard,
the wind runs by my face.
I smell that…
That concrete set me free.
This is the moment that I seize;
I feel lika a guy
in late Alzheimer’s disease.
Nothing can save me now…
Salvation is not what I need;
I need to no more need a need.
Just let me fly in these last seconds of mine.
From the time I got in that womb,
this was the plan for me.
I was born, even then life was late for me;
I guess you can call that, destiny.
I smile now, knowing that
my legacy will not have the same destiny.
Live on my boys…
You make sense in all there is.
Dear ones I love,
both dead and alive;
See me now,
this is the way I want to go out.
I’m a free bird,
with black I am bred.
Devil, hear me;
I hope you are the one to greet me.
I wear it all,
All those shadows of misty past;
But I also wear,
warmth of pure future hope.
Truckman, don’t be afraid…
I’m sorry I’ll spoil your truck,
with my red cold blood.
You sirens back there,
thank you guys for singing.
I know you won’t get it,
but thank you for making me king.
Spread-wing raven, it flies over me.
You dear raven..
You are the last sight I see.
I’ll fly with you.
I spread out my arms,
I stand on my Harley;
“Get the beer ready,
Martin Luther, Pericles and Marley…”
What a sight to behold;
Those black wings amidst the sun.
Nothing can stop me now;
I am most filled with life.
I was the reaper most of the time,
but now I finished the line.
The scythe is on me,
it’s me who I reap last.
Welcome Mr.Mayhem…
Spread-wing raven, splat down on the ground.
My guts are all over around.
Now I finally caught up,
the end of my road.
Sons Of Anarchy
Feb 2015 · 942
KT Feb 2015
Every morning, right at dawn
this happens before I even yawn.
Day after day, day after day,
before I even wake,
before light with my eyes I take,
the same way it goes.
Over and over and over again…
It starts with this sudden rash on my skin,
like when someone is bothered with some very deep sin.
I taste of something unpleasent, sour.
If I spit it, steel I think I’d devour.
All stiff and sore,
I get up, unwillingly I’m mumbling something gore.
I look myself in the mirror,
sheet after sheet, it just gets thicker.
My eyes ****** and black,
inside them I see, a dent, a small crack.
Day after day, day after day,
while everyone sleeps,
I pity that soul that down in the crack slowly weeps.
I watch as it gets wider and wider,
that *****, that empty hollow ditch.
I see away, try to hide the disgust.
There is no place left in me, where I’d put my own trust.
There’s no border more, between reason and lust.
It was taken by some passing windy gust,
some swarmy pile of useless dust.
Vigorously I feel fire building up in me.
Hell got upstairs again, in me I see.
It burns I can feel it,
that unscratchable itch.
I stay still, I don’t move,
only with my left cheek I twitch.
Feb 2015 · 1.4k
KT Feb 2015
It screams.. Oh god, it does scream.
All I feel now is sorrow and pain,
just looking for things to punish and blame.
Trapped, I lost all type of sense.
Pushed from all sides, as a block of stone my heart is dense.
Oh, it does scream..
Nobody hears.
I cry, my soul is full of tears.
I look in the mirror,
I don’t recognize that guy.
Who is he? What has he become?
I hear them calling,
that’s not my name.
I look not with my eyes,
and all I see is a stranger.
Surounded by people I am alone.
“Get away you filth, begone!”
If they knew what’s in my blood,
they’d nail me on a pike, oh God.
From the bottom to top I’m filled with hate.
Nobody can’t even think of passing my gate.
My face I can’t stand to look.
Who are you stranger, you who my face took?
From me, for me I feel fear.
I’m not getting out of this void anytime near.
And I do know, that deep hate has been born
from deeper love that has been torn.
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