Throw me a lifeline
And I still won’t catch it...

Like thunder
Our love was strong
Now like rain
sorrow and pain
Our love is gone

I wonder
If there was ever a doubt in your mind
That we would succeed
Whatever
It was a pointless expectation
That was southbound
From start to finish
Emotions diminished
‘Till our empty shells we relish
What once was
But now is gone

A click in my brain
A release from this daze
And now, I see clearly
No wonder…

The scathing cables of the power lines
Transmitting in thunder and lightning
Scorching thoughts and expressions
Drenched in the cataclysmic downpour of emotions
Of affection,
And the opposite for you.

Staring at me
Looking into my soul
With eyes as white as snow
As blue as the skies
And as clear as glass
Searching to find my lost soul
In this empty shell
Once alive in art

The sights of the gods
Shall we worship?
Shall we start an ablution
Are we worthy?

The rush of inspiration awakens
The sightless sights of the gods
Orisha’s eyes!
•••

I am in high spirits today
Idle playfulness and boredom
My constant friends
I have accepted into my days
While I try to forget
Everything wrong that I can’t make right
And on a high note,
I bask in this earth day
A great privilege I must say.

The sightless sight
Of a wounded soul
Captured in a rays of blinding darkness
All optical senses a quivering mess
Overshadowed by the pain of being
And of not

Loneliness grips at my heart
Tearing it up with unending tears
Enraptured by future unknown
And beautiful ones never to be had

Set me free!
That I may fill up this empty space
With the unacceptable
I must now accept as a part of me
And willful expressions
I must now acknowledge?

Oh ****!
All complications
The implications of our actions
Done or left undone
Knocking furiously
At the nearly visible doors of our mind

How pointless this must seem
Whatever will be will be
Live and let live.

Gushing out like liquid from a faucet
The expression of my intense passion for you
The pleasing outcome of riding this tremulous wave
And crashing down beautifully
Into our reality of brimming tension
And secrets left unspoken.
We are living a lie.

I thought about you beautifully
Wrote you down carefully
Determined to keep you with me
You're safe and sound with me
But for this glitch,
Erasing you completely
Robbing my mind of your glory
With only faint traces of your being
Now a hole in me I keep
But your words forgotten
And the faint sound of your screams
Ringing persistently
Forget me not.
But I did.

Staring intensely at the screen
Yet, seeing nothing
Only the colors of my thoughts
As they fade into the past
Leaving emptiness in their wake.
Yet, this persistent fullness
Bursting at the seams of my mind
Fills up its over-crowded but empty rooms
With passion and words
And nothingness
Leaving my mind wildly blank
Yet,  expressionless with emotions...

I'm weakened by my thoughts
Yet this void I must fill
With one or another
Yet, none a fit

Trading one for the other
Unsure of the outcome
And afraid of the possibilities
If only I could just stand by a choice?

It creeps in,
Those dark thoughts
Making the right seem wrong
Cripling my mental capacity with its intensity
Tearing down the walls of logic
To bring  in my insecurities
What if I am wrong?

In the end,
you're its slave
'till you take a stand
The awakening of your spine
Tearing it down from its root
'till all that's left before you
Are glorious wins.

Burrowing down ***** rusted tunnels
The unsightly dark slimy beast
Crawling to Oblivion
Covered in a shroud of darkness
An almost empty nothingness

That was my soul
Crippled by limitations
The unending abyss
Grasping at straws
Until the light flooded in
Bathing my soul in the wildfire that is life!

Touch me
In the place of  heightened emotions.
Feel me,
See me,
Without a thought or care for opinions.
For here we both stand
Unclothed with burdensome words
In our freeflow of expressions.

The unguarded heartbeats of my heart
Enraptured by the sight of you,
Emotions pouring torrentially
From temple to our very depths
Evidenced by our dilated pupils
And shy gazes,
Time slowly ticking as you walk in.

Tender touches lingering at night
Eyes closed,
My wandering mind
Journeying to dark secret places
Where passion flows freely
Unrestricted emotions,
Expressions without judgment
Attending to our every needs
Our compatibility unquestionable

Lost in eachother,
We find ourselves
One to another
Without an end
A depthless hunger
Unleashing untamed emotions
Always at your arrival
Rendering speechless my soul
At the blink of your eyes

Satisfy me with your truth
And your touch
Flowing through me
Like liquid fire
Burning away any doubts
Capturing the oppulence that is my mind
Leaving me drenched in passion
Longing to never be free again.

Touch me.

Try as I might,
I feel lost in myself
The myriad of empty rooms
Emptied in itself
Closed doors in my mind
I have trapped myself

Is there any hope
That I might find myself?

I lift up my head
And see nothing.

I close my eyes
And see all that can be

But, eyes wide open
I stepped in doubt
And sank myself.

Surrounded by darkness
Shadows after shadow
All in stealthy movements
Looking to devour the unknowing,
Cataracts of murky waters unfolding
To cultivate an abysmal knowledge of possession
Laying in wait

Surrounded by shadows
The unknowing gullible prey
Gallivanting in the coolness of the shadows
Traveling on unpaved roads
In company of the unseemly
Glorying in a flowery mask of gloomy interactions
A facade capturing the mind of a dunce

Sounds of laughter in triumph
Emanating from the shadows
A perfectly planned possession
With full-on persuasion
Fastidious dressing on a palatable decision
Congratulatory claps and smacks
At a job well done
Oblivious of an impending failure
Coated in a ray of light

The sun rays stands at attention
Catapulting its existence
Into the murky waters
Shooting its rays through a pinhole
With boundless powers
Seeking a limitless entrance
With the unknowing gullible prey at the door
Holding a key, in a game of indecision
Salivating over the promises in the shadows
And the fulfillment of lascivious desires

The sun awaits your attention
Banging at the door gently
With healthy promises
The high heavens can checker
With words spoken larger than life
Saturating every nook and cranny
With light, life and love
And a thundering presence
Annihilating every shadows is its path.

Doors open
A pinhole becoming a tearing limitless ****
The sun rays stretching forth
Inciting a dance with its panther like gait
Over-powering the sniveling shadows
Punctured deceptive walls left behind
Emptying shadows filled up with light
On its face a triumphant grin.

In the shadows
I opened the door to the light of the sun
I was the unknowing gullible prey,
Now, I AM THE SUN.

They saw me thinking
And expected something deep
But my thoughts I'll keep
Presenting a depthless surface
As transparent as lace
For my thoughts are heavily weighted
And my words?
They cannot comprehend

It's been a while.
My pride,
It held me back
Filled me up with pretence
I don't need you, it said
But for you my heart bled
A longing so strong,
My pride almost fled

It has been a while.
My pride,
It grips so strong
Blocking my every part
Tearing my world apart
Stitches cannot mend
Happiness just around the bend
Beyond my very reach
A lesson in sheer will and motivation
My thoughts could teach

It’s been a while.
My pride,
You need to let go
Your protective cloak around me
Is now torn and falls around me
There is a new world out there
Where I won’t need to live in despair
My tender heart yearns
Gently but fervently
seeking a new beginning
A longing so strong
My pride fled.

That familia voice said to me
Listen to me
Restrain yourself
Your heart is in the right
But examine yourself
Your actions can’t be right
Stay away for some time
Try to be by yourself
Extricate yourself
From emotional dependence
Your life hanging on to impossibilities
The morality line can’t be crossed
Leave your hearts untouched.

I didn’t listen,
And it started
A chain of events
Dominoes falling
Crumbling faster than the speed of light
And now our hearts are breaking
More than was expected
Tears stains covered by a mask of laughter
Sadness
Stronger than a mouth could utter
I didn’t listen.

I wish I could turn back the hands of time
And ignore the emotional magnet
For we’re now doom’s target
Emotions not worth a dime.
Next time I’ll listen.

I felt it
The cold and warm breeze on my skin
As he spoke
Words that made my heartbeat quicken
The resonating vibrations of his voice
It flowed through me
Cascading down
Melting my icicle heart
And along with it, my fears,
And all my walls of insecurities
Are broken down
A cataclysmic shift
My mind now adrift
Consciously, yet cautiously searching
Looking to merge with his
Melted ice
Broken walls
All give way.
His words
They vibrates through me,
Opening me up from within
Yes, I felt it.

I was hungry
You fed me not
So I drank a few glasses of water
Hoping it’ll curb my hunger
But that it did not
So I drank a few more
But I hunger still
My bladder full
But this pressing need
Has now made me your fool
So I beg you.

Careless with their lives
They slog in infested slimy waters
In rubber shoes covered in holes
Merging bodies with all the inhabitants of the world beneath their feet
They trudge on

They’re deceptive
Picking up dirts to throw it back in
In those times they’re not seen
Or so they believe

They’ve reduced themselves
To the dirt they feed themselves
And they care not
Their pores clogged with infested slimy waters

Exhibiting animalistic behaviors
They’ve now become barbarians
“Buy us water”,
They cry together.
He who is living a deceptive life
Trudging around in the slimy waters
A place no one has sent them

They feed themselves with those slimy hands?
It’s no wonder their mate died
I stamp my feet in anger!
Arrrrrrrg!
Do they not see the danger?

I do not feel pity for them
Their state of being
Though perplexing it seems
They chose this.
Their families I weep for
Bodies coated with infested slimy waters
They go home.

Sit Still,
Try to Relax
I’m only just beginning...

There is a difference between pretence and adaptation
Your mind constantly in motion
Emotions,
Rising up to the occasions
Changing,
Depending on different sitiations.
...
To the British I speak English
To the Polish, I speak Polish
To the rich, I’m rich
And not just in manner of speech

It's not pretence
It just makes sense
Adapting to every situation
A constant change with diverse emotions
Not just an illusion
There are established illustrations
...
To everything there are two sides
Upsides and downsides
What I call adaptation
Some call pretence
When I give an illustration
Some come to my defence
My aspiration to be better than I am
My conviction to change who I am
Has turned into deception
Leaving behind frustration.
...
The constant changes has its effect
Some might call it a defect
Just like trying to learn 10 languages at the same time
In the end all you have is half-baked knowledge not worth a dime.
A current situation
To which there is no solution
Adapt?  
Or pretend?
You decide if this is a upside,
Or a down side.
In the end, a position you must take,
“I am Half-baked.”

It fuels my imagination
Intensifies my passion
And directs my emotions

Overwhelm me and let me create.

White Head Phones
Blue head band
Wearing the shirt I bought her

Golden earrings
Golden wrist watch
As Golden as the sun

Feigning ignorance
In the face of romance
I think I like her

Wouldn't you?