I'm done living like this,
Depending on substances,
My last sweet bottle kiss,
Not everyone gets second chances.

Tired of disappointing my dad,
Wasting paycheck after paycheck,
Just to feeling anything but bad,
Finally turning around this shipwreck.

Only 8 days sober from alcohol,
74 days clean from harder drugs,
Sometimes it feels like i hit a wall,
But i'm reminded by those hugs.

Reminded why i stopped,
Why i don't need these anymore,
Life's like cherries topped,
I'm not your little *****.

The air smells cleaner,
The clouds aren’t as grey,
I used to be so much meaner,
Glad to be here another day.

i did lines
not just of poetry
it’s the thing that binds
me to myself

“recovery”
is too romanticized,
it’s not taking a bite,
or skipping a smoke,
it’s relapse and tears,
runs for weeks or running for weeks,
thoughts constantly stirring,
never fully recovered,
never really alone,

I don't keep doing this in hopes i die,
I'm just trying to find a way to survive,
I like the partying and the drugs,
But with you around i might just wear earplugs.
I'm killing my body is what you keep saying,
You say that like i'm just playing,
Everyone knows i'm not living long,
We’ve known i'm not that strong.
So let me do my thing,
Its not like i' m looking for a ring,
I don't need you,
So throw away your tissue.

An idiot is harmless,
Until that idiot falls in love,
Then they’re willing to do anything,
For the person they’re in awe of.

Whether its building a new world,
Or burning the old one down,
They’ll stop at nothing,
To give their love a crown.

Now if that love fades,
And they are left weeping,
They could take one of two paths,
Both will leave an empty heart unsleeping.

Path one is war and rampage,
Destroy everything in their way,
Path two is depression and tears,
They may cause their own doomsday.

Either way an idiot is harmless,
Until that idiot falls in love,
And if you happen to cross that idiot,
Beware for they do not care, they are deprived of---------

Months after months calling your name,
I got no reply I'm stuck in the rain,
You're moving on growing in fame,
I don't know how much longer I can keep sane.

I'm climbing this hill getting over you,
Meeting new people seeing new things,
Footsteps rushing behind someone's breaking through,
Not looking back taking down my kings.

Crawling back I hear you yelling,
I've been through this too many times,
I have stopped dwelling,
I'm done with all your crimes.

I've met someone new,
My hand in hers and everything is calm,
Even though I still have your tattoo,
I'm no longer a ticking time bomb.

As a little kid i looked upon broken teens,
Wishing never to become like them,
And it was true i was never like those teens,
Until i met you.

The start was fast like crashing waves,
We did not look as we laughed with joy,
But after time those waves turned to floods,
And you left me behind instead of enduring.

I tried everything to find you,
The real, old you that once loved me,
It seems as if you disappeared,
And i wish my feelings disappeared with you.

Soon they did and everyone backed off,
You’ve grown cold, you’ve grown heartless,
That’s what i’ve been told by you and others,
But if you’re the one who turned me cold,

Wouldn't you be the heartless one?

Plant after plant have all withered
And my gardens decayed,
But you walked by with a watering can
and set my heart ablaze

The things you’ve said in public were nothing but sweet,
This makes me glad we got to meet.

No words come to mind
when staring at your face,
After all a picture paints a
thousand words that cannot erase

Tables have been turned,
And i’m left feeling burned.

The way you said my name
sent shivers down my spine,
You could be anything and
yet you wouldn't be mine.

I wish to say that I haven’t missed you,
But it’d be a terrible crime to lie too.

When it comes to you
all ideas are dangerous,
And the two of us together,
Was nothing but disastrous.

From the moment we started,
I knew you were going to be cold hearted.

While your smile shines as bright as the sun
Not everyone wants to be blind,
This was a contract
That neither one of us wanted signed.

The things you’ve said in private were nothing sweet,
This makes me glad we never truly got to meet.