A broken light bulb.
A shattered dream.
A life wasted.
It's not what it seems.

A broken family.
Stressed and tired.
Chance after chance.
Will it ever expire?

Perpetual forgiveness.
Is it worth it?
The tears, the screams.
We are hypocrites.

Shaming you for breaking the bulb.
Yet, we cut ourselves trying to fix it.

Chloe Jan 24

I'm just a nut job
hiding behind a blank stare
you can find me
almost anywhere.
I smile and I laugh
in front of your face.
I hide in a bathroom,
creating my fate.
This powder controls my day,
I'll love you once it's made its way...
up my nose, through my bloodstream
into my brain...
I'll love you once it's made its way...
I'll love you once it's made its way...
I'll love you once I feel okay...

Destiny Fertig Aug 2015

I needed a father Not a friend,
I needed someone to chase the monsters outFrom under my bed.
I needed guidance and praze ,
Not someone I didn't hear from for days.
I needed someone to teach me how to ride a bike ,
Not someone who brought me to drug fights.
I needed someone to dry my tears,
Not someone to get me beer.
I needed someone to right me when I was wrong ,
Not someone who did drugs , to make them feel like they belong.
I needed you there .
The disappointment I can no longer bare.
I've held these words in for so many years ,
I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't even care.
I hoped that one day you'd chose me over drugs,
But I realized that the high was you're only love.
I always tried to be daddy's little girl.
I tried my best to belong in your fucked up world.
I realize now , that I have never known you,
As much as I always wanted to.
You chose your addiction over me,
As I grew up it was clear to see.
I always had hope.
But in the end ,
You chose dope.
I saw the life from your eyes slowly disappear,
Loosing me was no longer a fear.
I tried so hard to help you out,
But you always brushed it off as if you didn't know what I was talking about.
Weight started to shed and I could see your bones,
With a room full of people , I have never felt So alone .
If You taught me anything it is this ,
Not every one should have kids.

I know who you are,
I know what you hide,
I know what you do,
But I can't understand why.
I know the truth,
About the drugs,
I know the names,
of the men you fucked.
I know you're back
in rehab too,
And this is why,
I'm done with you.
I know you lie,
You've lied to me.
A thousand times now,
It's plain to see.
You take care of kids,
That aren't even yours.
Yet, you're not a mother,
Behind closed doors.
You're "The Slut"
That sleeps around.
"The one" they say
"who's been around town."
The one who cheats,
On the ones she "loves",
The one who's sent many babies,
To our god above.
I know the truth
About that too
Kidney stones?
Yea, caused by who?
These are only
Just a few
Of the things I wish
I could say to you.

Written to my birth mom after I found out about her having another abortion. That makes a million.

— The End —