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Jun 2023 · 164
Virginity
amme Jun 2023
I'm supposed to set an example,
use my soul to speak the truth.
Why do I let my ego ramble?
Communication machine currently in use..

White rose a beautiful sample,
connect to my bluetooth.
All covered in thorns and bramble,
ready to be abused.
Mar 2023 · 574
The 7 strings
amme Mar 2023
Everything was very lucid, everything but the beginning.

Like the scene from Inception where she cannot remember how they got there I too had that same feeling.
Everything seemed normal at first but I quickly realised that the people around us did not notice us at all.
They did not even see us, like we were invisible.
My vision was seemingly blurry when I looked at the world and people outside the circle we formed standing together in a crowded park in the middle of the day, yet perfectly fine when I looked at my own body or two of the six other persons standing in the circle.
I picture it today like different resolutions.
Infact just like in the movie, I was actually dreaming but I did not know it at that time and there was no Di Caprio to explain it to me.

All I knew was that I was being chosen for something.
Something I have being longing for my whole life of confusion and wondering why, how and who.
I had no idea what that something was but I knew that I along with these people standing with me was finally chosen for something unimagineably great.
That intese feeling of relief that came with it was the most powerful feeling I had experienced to this day, almost like I knew that I would finally get to know the answers to the secrets and mysteries we all have been trying to figure out as humans
and after this journey all the suffering would stop and everything would be over.
I knew that the rest of the people felt a similar way even though, at that time, we had yet not spoken to eachother. I knew it simply by the way they reacted. Just like myself we were all surprised, overwhelmed and at the same time joyful.

I remember having a strong feeling of wanting / being chosen as a kid. Chosen like in Harry Potter being a the boy who lived, Peter Parker becomming spider man or Clark Kent realising he is superman, you get the point..

Apparantly a lot of humans have the same feeling and now I was living that dream.

After a few seconds of taking it all in I realised that only two of the six other people were visible to me. I knew there were six other beings next to me but only two was visible.
One was a male with dark blonde hair and trimmed ****** hair, looked like a regular swedish person in my age but nobody I recognized from my town. Then there was a brunette female also in her 20s.
And then there were four other beings who I had no vision of but I could somehow know they are right there and is a living being just like us but somehow way different.
I could "feel" or know that they were just as suprised as we were and had as much knowledge about the whole situation as we did.
I also knew that they could clearly see and hear us. An ability we did not possess as  humanbeings.

Some people would probably use the words "alien abduction" trying to describe the experience (dream) I had but I use the word "chosen" for the reasons I stated above.
Also at this point I had thoughts running through my head that these non visible beings was extraterestials but as I said these beings was going through the same thing we were, driven by a force much greater that both of us.

A "WOW" was the first thing that came out from the swede as we all aknowledged that reaction and let out a laugh, flabbergasted of what was happening. And so far we are only 1 minute into the whole thing and we are still in this circle in the middle of a crowded park.
Next thing we all got individually surrounded by this bright white light that would transport us to the next stage of the journey. Just like you would see in a 90s music video the light just appeared around us until we were covered in it and dissapeared from the park and appeared ... somewhere else.

At this place it was only me and the two other persons I could see, the swedish male and the female brunette. The other beings was at a similar place designed for their kind. I knew this because I would meet them again after this stage and find out.
I cannot describe this place but I'll try my best explaining what happened there.

The three of us would go through a dream like state one by one in our own personal dream, designed by the devine to be a test. In this test you would enter a dream where you play yourself from a memory from the past. It is hard to explain but think of it like the jumanji movie where they load into the game and become new characters with missions.
We were loaded into a dream where we play ourself and had our own missions within that dream to beat as a test to go to the next stage of the journey.

My test was up first.

I quickly loaded into this dream where I was myself as a kid in a very distant age of humatity. Everything was sand and stone and the only humans alive was the people in my tiny village in the middle of the desert. The whole vibe was egypt and sand dunes.
Even though I was playing myself in the dream I could also observe as a third person outside the dream, like a spectator and the others was watching my dream play out aswell but we could not affect anything in my dream, or "test" if you may, while just observing from outside the box.
I needed to play myself as a kid in this sand dune world and the others could actually load into my dream as themselfs to help me with whatever my missions was.

As you know with dreams there is too much unexplainable stuff going on but overall my dream test was a huge complicated maze I had to run through. In the end it led me to running up a stone staircase which spiraled around a square block of stone.
When I got to the top it was a simple stone building, a house made for worship where all the humans gathered at dawn to pray. Right outside the entrance to the house was a big block of stone, same sand dune colour. This stone was very important and I somehow knew it but I did not know why. I gave it a pat like a kid would do and my test was finished.
I did not have a certain feeling of knowing exactly what was going on or if I completed my test or whatever I was just going along in the journey for now.

Next up was the other male. His dream test was this anoying, mind boggling puzzle that took forever to figure out. We managed to do it anyway and last up was the female.
Her test was filled with agony, misery, anxiety, extreme sadness and anger. It was no dream I would ever want to go through again but we had to help eachother out to complete the tests together.
It was very important that we went through it as a split unit because if one failed we would all do.

After a traumatic experience with the females dream test we finally broke free and again got transported to another place.

This time we were traveling in the vast darkness of space. No spaceship, no suits just our bodys almost being dragged through space.
We were not feeling any force dragging us or felt like we were in motion but we could tell we were travelling because there was a single point in our vision that got bigger as we were seemingly getting closer to it.

Here is where I meet the the remaining "chosen beings" again, they were travelling with us but did not seem as fazed by it as we humans were. Atleast that was my understanding by "feeling" their reactions or "aura" or whatever.

We were travelling for around two minutes and I remember feeling uncomfortable as the experience flying through space was terrifying and not at all what I had hoped it would be.
I actually was so scared I almost started to panic as these two minutes felt like forever, until I saw that point we were travelling to getting significally bigger by the millisecond.
Faster than I could tell we were there, our point of destination for this stage. It was a big big cube made of unknown material just floating in space. The cube was transparent so we only saw a hollow plasma like cube and nothing else.
The cube had rounded edges and for size comparison it was pretty much a 10x10 Meter cube from the outside.

Once we floated inside this cube we could see that it was not what it seemed from the outside.

First of all, every single one of us got a mutual feeling of being home, this cube was a safe haven for us. We were protected in this cube and could feel secure.
There was so much space inside this thing like you wont believe, it was not really affected by time like we are here on earth. If we wanted to go to a private room we would immidietly be there, there was no time spent walking to that room.
If we wanted to relax on a couch we would already be in the same couch relaxing.
It made no sense but there was no questions needed to ask for us. We just intuitively knew how to use this cube for whatever our needs were.

One funny thing I remember was a lady sitting inside the cube at a office desk placed at the top left corner of the cube. As I first entered the cube, to me, she was sitting upside down at her desk with a full suit on and even a scarf looking like a calssy office worker.
She gave all of us a glance and a little smile before focusing on her typing again. Like she was a regular at this cube place and there was no big deal at all that seven beings, humans and ... non humans would visit this cube.

She was also human, well as far as I could tell she was fully human, we never communicated, just like we never spoke to any other beings at this place.
This journey was not filled with much communication as we people have here on earth. We all just knew what the other was thinking based on pure intuition. The cube was filled with beings but as we seven was on our own special journey we did not interact with anyone else and nobody else interacted with us.

We got to a room in this cube where we walked up to an altar looking thing. On this altar was a huge holographic monitor. The monitor (that was really just light) was showing a 3D model of the earth. It was a white light background and the earth was showing as black lines like you would draw the earth from space on a piece of blank white paper with a regular black ink pencil.
It was a problem though, everything was static, no motion, no life. We all were just standing huddled up watching this holographic monitor not knowing what to do or think as we did not understand anything.
This is when I stepped up to this altar holding the holographic monitor and again by pure intuition I placed my hand above the emitting lights and somehow grabbed one end of the "monitor" and flipped it to the other side like you would flip a page in a book.
Now we saw the same 3D picture of earth but it was a live feed and not static anymore. The earth was in motion and you could see the green colours of the land the blue waters the white clouds and everything else so beautifully. There was a live statistic upgrade on EVERYTHING you needed to know about the earths "health" if you may.
Like the temperture, oxygen levels, fertility in the soil, density of the mountains and everything else you can think of.
It was amazing to see and every single one of us felt the same way. We also all understood that the previous static earth we saw was one of many planets like earth used to host us humanbeings until the end of our test that was once active and in motion but is not anymore.

After this experience in the altar room with the holographic book monitor thing we all ended up back in the circle in the park we began at. Everyone knew our tests was over and we were about to join the devine, whatever that means.
We stood for a minute processing the whole journey we went through waiting for the next step.

At that moment there was very much information getting downloaded to my system.
I got to know that me and the two other humans represent the three dimensions we live and experience.
Each of us is representing a single string, a string that is the smallest possible form of matter that vibrates to to a beat. Our heartbeat.
We are one dimensional beings but together we live in a three dimensional world and our strings will together form the trefoil knot.

The other four beings is representing the fourth to seventh dimensions. Even though all dimensions is weaved into eachother, we do not possess the ability to see above our own dimensions but beings living in higher dimensions can see the beings below and actually live amongst them.
This explaied why I cannot see the other beings of course.

They still have a string just like we humans do but they are made up of different type of matter, different type of energy and live in a different type of frequency. This means that they had to tie their knot sepereatly from us humans, meaning they had different type of tests and live by a completly different type of rules we human beings do.

Together we had two knots symbolizing a total of seven dimensions of creation, A starmap for us to enter infinity and beyond.

The lights swiftly swooped in and surrounded us, nothing else mattered, we were ready to go.
One by one everyone got beamed up, the non humans was the first to go.
As one was beaming up after the other we looked at eachother with great humbleness and pride. The female was the last to go before it my was my turn but as she got beamed up it came to my knowledge that I was not chosen to get beamed up this time and my faith was to live the rest of my life here on earth like the person I was before all this.

I could only catch a glance of the females face before she got covered by the beam and I will never forget the look she gave me. A look that knows the great pain I was feeling and the responsibility I have to carry out among the people I live with now that I know what I know.
I think my heart stopped for a second as I felt so betrayed, left out, alone..

The seven strings was now only one, the other six existed only as a memory.

This is where everyone in the park could see me again, and I was standing there alone in the middle of spring with a leather jacket on that I used to wear in my 20s. It was a sunny yet windy and chilly day.
I knew that nobody would understand me or even believe me If i told them what happened. I had to struggle with the feeling of living until I die of "natural" causes and nobody would ever understand me.
It was depressing to say the least. I began to walk home through the park as a car stopped by me. It was my friends from real life, they yelled at me to jump in and asked what I was doing alone in the park.

I struggled to keep my tears in as I just shrugged and sat down in the backseat, listening to their endless, pointless normal life conversations as my thoughts wandered away to the journey I just experienced.

This is when I wake up and realise that all this was a dream and I took about 2 hours laying in my bed reflecting on what I dreamed.

To this day, years after the dream, I still go though the journey every single day, as a memory. I do not know what It means or necesarrily still try to even find meaning in it but it lives in my mind rent free.
I just wanted to write it down on paper and share it and maybe It will help me realeve some of the feelings I still experience because of this dream.

Thank you for reading.
Mar 2022 · 965
Toss and turn (remake)
amme Mar 2022
1.
Toss n turn all night i cant sleep
see my pills think I might OD

Too many thoughts inside my head
Chest full of regret and ashes from the cigarettes

2.
Toss n turn all night to the break of dawn
check my phone each minute see if you are on
line, my heart is weak i change position
to fill the void where you used to lay within

(break)

Tossin n turning
my heart is hurting

How did I turn astray

Drinks I'll be stirring
slowly I'm learning

Why you chose to walk away

Money I'm yearning
**** I keep burning

Baby don't leave me

I cant't be strong
If you are gone

....
My remake of Toss n turn - LaLion
Nov 2021 · 1.2k
Lost
amme Nov 2021
Knowledge comes with time,
brainpower does not.

If you never had deep thoughts as a child,
have you ever even really thought?
Oct 2021 · 514
"I am only human"
amme Oct 2021
The human of all spiecies
The salt of all spices
The electrons to something bigger
The consiousness to the bigger picture.

How much code do you have to optimize to be able to store the human figure?
Do you have enough money in your bank account to secure the last drop of the pitcher?
Take away an infinite-number of amounts it will never really differ.

The proof is in the pudding but even with the key to success,
some people will wish to turn back into beginners
while others can not afford to enjoy that X-mas dinner.

The recipe shows we are prone to be sinners...
Jun 2020 · 425
Inseparable
amme Jun 2020
My dream was to ship my relation to the mark on the map.
Unimaginable when my treasure; Cleo, marked our love as Anthony.

A relationship of lush, love and power.
Heavy drinkers just for fun, we called ourselves "livers".

Your liver collapsed by the poison caused by our lavish lifestyle.

Our power together was unbeatable but failed miserable when you made my heart stop beating.

But our love was forever so you decided to meet me in the life hereon after.
Cleopatra - Marc Anthony
Apr 2020 · 176
Happy meal
amme Apr 2020
People keep asking
why I act like nothing bothers me.

I say
you are what you eat
so once you start to believe
It's bon appetit.

Pull up your sleeves.
There's nothing in life that you can't achieve.
I have lots of up and down days but when I remember what I believe in I don't allow myself to feel down anymore.
Mar 2020 · 161
Ignorance
amme Mar 2020
There will always be confusion where there is ignorance.
Truth is stranger than fiction yet always crystal clear.
Dec 2019 · 353
Random Swedish lyrics
amme Dec 2019
Jag undrar, känner Lady vad jag känner?
Bjöd ut henne på middag, ville vara mer än bara vänner.
Opera musik, något fint vin, pasta och ***** frikadeller.
Bildar mig en framtid med henne som vackra akvareller, slurpar upp spaghettin och undrar om hon kommer finnas på andra änden.
Men Lady var intresserad av andra grejer.
Eh.
Bagateller.
Sånt som händer.

Ett snedsteg man lär sig av i livets lidande.
Har ändå inte tid för romantik, måste lufsa vidare.
Bort från tragedi, monarki och slavdrivare.
Bort från folk som berikar sig med att tro att alla andras perspektiv av dom är genom en stjärnkikare.


Men man är ju närsynt som få.
Dammar in dimman vill försvinna, övervinna alla hinder men det är svårt.
Ger eloge till alla er som finner fingret ni kan stoppa ringen på, men förstå.
Paniken som uppstår av insikten att tiden rinner, broar brinner,
tjejer som du känner vill hellre vara dina vänner för dom väntar på Mister grå.

**** it..
Det ba så.
Låt det gå
vilken låt
stå på tå
låt musiken föra dig till morgondagen,
glöm igår.
Låt dom skörda,
fortsätt så.
Tills du når
varje mål.
Låt tiden läka alla sår.
Dec 2019 · 128
Afterthoughts
amme Dec 2019
The memories of you is stuck like a gut feeling
I cannot trust myself
New butterflies that slips out of my cocoon
gets digested by a tapeworm.

You used to bleed to the rotation of the moon
Taught me that you and the creator are on same terms

Never needed my help
Like a baboon to your framework
Jul 2019 · 407
You are perfect
amme Jul 2019
Do I look fat in this?
Only if your perspective is curved.

Do you really like to kiss my thin lips?
More than anything on this earth.

Do my wrinkles bother you?
That's something I never even observed.
Besides, the mark of a face lift would be something you don't deserve.

Understand that
I wouldn't trade one of your fingertips for the whole wide world.
Apr 2019 · 326
The Ultimatum
amme Apr 2019
Scoped out all angles to make sure I wouldn't miss.
Obscene obsession to relationships.
Perfect hit, ****, the way you sunk his battleship.
*****, I'm sorry but the feeling amounts to this.
Poor kids gets the same mouth to kiss.


If you keep chasing me you better see,
Silicone, tight clothes and makeup will just make me leave.
Be ready to be,
The mother your children were made to see,
The wife you promised to be,
My partner in crime whenever I'm in need.

And I'll be the man you expect me to be.
Apr 2019 · 408
The new generation
amme Apr 2019
Temporary solutions, life long problems.
Predetermined conclusions, evolutionary regression.
Jan 2019 · 1.0k
Injected
amme Jan 2019
He walks upright in the night but never evolves.
Drugs in his brain, never a pure thought.
Intruding other peoples business for inclusion.
Surrounded by resonating problems but never comes to a conclusion.
Stupid.
Only wants something if he can use it.
Only turns to god when he wants to be included.
Only looks up to people who does prostitution.
Addicted to the music.
Free will, freedom is whats hes abusing.
TBC
Nov 2018 · 331
The real me
amme Nov 2018
I've been beaten, I've been bruised.
I've been loved and I've been used
But through it all I kept my head held high.
Looking for the bright side
But every time it seems to show,
I'm too scared of letting go!
So I run and I hide.
All these feelings inside.

It's time to break the pattern,
And let them see.
All the beauty within me!

Chorus:
Gotta let go,
Gotta let me know
This isn't me.
You know I try to
Let loose
But what happens when they see
The real me.

I'm no good at rejection
So I never aim too high.
Scared of my own reflection
Am I losing my mind.

No this can't be it
This isn't life
Got to get off this ride.
A beautiful song written in a couple of minutes by a good friend of mine "JustLulle". She did not want to show this to anyone but finally gave me permission to post this here. She does not like attention or anything like that but I told her this is too good not to be shown to the public. All credits go to her!
Oct 2018 · 1.1k
Alien
amme Oct 2018
Split personality,
I'm losing my mind.
Don't want to hear your story,
I'm busy with mine.
Not a pretty picture like Gogh,
It's an awful sight.
I'll cut you off from my ears just to avoid a fight.
Tunnel vision in a starry night.
I don't care about squares or straights I only see circles
like copyright in my line of sight.
My frequency is two-toned like morse code,
makes it hard to recite.
I've been gone for too long It's time to phone home,
I hope you copy right,
Over.
Jul 2018 · 587
Red & Blue
amme Jul 2018
There is a physical sport but psycological war going on between
The Red and The Blue.

We are very emotional.
We earn trust by being warm hearted, good willing and honest people
yet our frequency growls "warning!" because we strive in chaos.
We are always looking for order and sometimes we find it
and falls so deeply in love with it
It's inevitable that order becomes chaos or is constantly on the run from us.

--


We are the cold ones
We earn our respect by being hard working, forward driving people.
Like vampires we always seek to feed our thirst but we do it in secret.
Never will you see us emotional because we traded our hearts for endless knowledge.
Loyalty to the one that leads us into the future through
discipline and order because that is the key to evolve.
Jun 2018 · 243
A gift to me.
amme Jun 2018
The lilies bloom in the garden and the soft southern wind blows through capturing the fragrance.
It fills the air with exotic perfume and surrounds a beautiful form.
Yesterday the place was barren and a oblique Stone stood upon the grave.
Now he stands in Majesty as the Lily surround him testifying of one of their own.
For he is coming from the valley of death, the first Lily to bloom in the garden.
A rose without Thorns born of Sharon. Arisen unto perfection he now goes to claim his throne.
As many who doubted look on in amazement he glows with a radiant light. As he slowly fades away he says please don't cry.
The perfume fills the air as a quiet Stillness settles all around. For where Death once r e g i n e d, Beauty now abounds.
For the first flower of the new springtime has blossomed and no more shall man fear death, for Christ the Savior has risen.

Written by - James M Vines.
This poem was written by James M Vines ( https://hellopoetry.com/james-m-vines89/ ) as a gift to me.
Jun 2018 · 3.1k
Natural high experience
amme Jun 2018
It was a couple of years ago I had an experience I couldn't explain but wouldn't deny.
It was almost like a daydream that took me back to the age of five.
I saw how I was pushed into society before I had developed the wings to fly.
To survive I had to split my soul into two to create a false personality of mine.
Ever since, the 10% I was suppose to give as tide has been occupied by the hatching seeds in the left side of my thin mind.
The experience brought me back to where I lied. I couldnt move and my heart was racing It felt like I was going to die.
At the end of what felt like a paralyzed panic attack I had a strange tingle in the lowest part of my spine.
The tingles slowly started to rise,
like two angels slithering their way up all thirty three steps of Jacob's ladder to open up the seventh seal. My gateway to heaven.
It was sensational. A euphoric feeling, I never felt that happy before. Everything that was holding me back, all the bad memories
and all the grudges I had been holding on to, did not matter anymore.
I started to think freely and act accordingly. I worked less and wrote more because money was not a priority.
The value of life became clear to me.
There I was, reborn with Christ oil.

I dwelt in that right hemisphere of my brain for three and a half months before I got thrown out of paradise for questioning myself again.
Of course I tried to force my way back but drugs only gives you a temporary pass.
Besides I can't let go of the lifestyle of the genie in my genes that likes to buy expensive jeans.
It's genius how they deceive us, or I'm just seriously delirious and my psychological awareness is just as meaningless as my nihilistic periods.
Who is really the genie; us?
I use religious ideology sometimes to explain my feelings.
Mar 2018 · 1.0k
Magical spells
amme Mar 2018
Isn't it compelling how poems can affect us so emotionally?
I mean sure a picture says more than a thousand words but
watching television only tells us a certain vision.
On the other hand contracting letters must always be spelled right or else there's nothing left to make sense.
I refuse to sign a contract to make cents, although I wouldn't cross swords if the oppertunity presents itself.
Maybe I am contradicting myself but crossing words is just a hobby to me, for now atleast.
I do believe that spelling is like magic spells. We fuse words like a magnet, they either connect to our feelings or repell eachother.
It's confusing sometimes when I get inspired beacasue I'm in spired to cast spells,
yet I can only spell what I've been remotely controlled by the remotecontroll to my limited visions.
I am afraid living.
Have I Lived or have I liveD in reverse and learned to embrace the Devil?
Mar 2018 · 643
Dance of life
amme Mar 2018
Walking in a hallway towards the darkness,
shoulder bumping everyone,
I'm set to score.
Discoball over my head.
Meaningless rythm got me
rocking back and forth on these checkered floors.

Draining my energy,
feet are sore
but open doors like a metaphor for the furthermore.
Alcohol made my ego ignore,
I'm trying to escape the belly of the beast
crawling on all four.

I am this close
to disclose
the secret that life store,
but I impose
to enclose,
you've never seen me like this before.

So I compose
these fake flows
to you my amor,
Like a hypnos
you expose,
"love" galore.
Mar 2018 · 220
Freedom
amme Mar 2018
When I was a kid I dreamed of being a star.
Not the ones we see up in the sky
more like the ones on the boulevard.
I never wanted the money or power
I just wanted to be recognized.
Growing up my interest in being rich and famous faded away beacause every celebrity seemed miserable to me.
I would rather be healthy and keep my cerebral liberty.
Mar 2018 · 209
If you think you might.
amme Mar 2018
If you think you might
save my soul,
don't.
If you think you might
change my mind,
you wont.

Don't make me close my eyes.
Make me blind,
I'll see you for who you are.
You could never leave me in
the dark.

If you think you might
let me know at last,
about the feelings you claim you had.
You will never see me go back
to that toxic habitat.

I write down these memories
from my past.
I still see you as my friend.
I walk with my shadow hand in hand,
I can never be alone again.
Mar 2018 · 1.2k
When love is gone.
amme Mar 2018
When the clock stands still,
I open the pit, my hypocritical lips that has been sealed.
A simple kiss, an act of love turned to a serpents needs,
trespassing your beliefs.

Eager for death, At the end of time.
Our breath will smell the same to the divine.
I will be you, You will be I,
Symbolizing there will be no future to our child.
In the center of space we leave our tribulations aside...
Mar 2018 · 3.1k
My plant
amme Mar 2018
I imagine a biological plant,
I reach for It but can't touch It beacuse It's only my imagination.

I picture the same plant and reach to grab it but this time It's in 2D.

Now I am holding the plant. I can see and feel It got many features trying to prove itself being realistic but
It got no smell, no dirt, no life. It's just a prop.

Unlike your plant..

I can feel the warmth, the edgy imperfections, the good intentions of your plant.
I can see the healthy strains, the perfect ratio, the water flowing through your plant.
I can smell the unique aroma, the soul essence, natures soil all over your plant.

So I inject my plant with drugs, steriods and testoserone to match yours.
Look at my plant now world!
- Its just GMO'd.
Trying to be real made my plant more fake than It ever was.

How am I supposed to spread my seeds when my plant is so dysfunctional?
It would only create more confused and broken plants and eventually the world would be destroyed.

"Evolution could only come after a revolution"
Is a quote stuck in my brain.
Should I let my plant rot for the better
or should I keep watering It hoping for the best?
I really dont know anymore.
Dec 2017 · 218
Conscious problems
amme Dec 2017
I speak but it comes out wrong, yet in my mind It's so clear.
So much expression behind my song but the words just Isn't there.
Several buds in my ****, yet the high disappears.
I conquer my fear but the Devil is always near.
Many know the truth, fewer actually cares.
Looking for happiness through the blurry window we call tears.
Dec 2017 · 226
What a fool I can be...
amme Dec 2017
I had the cake and ate from it, but this pie didn't last for eternity.
now its gone, before it was even a concern to me.

I search for meaning as I look down at the mirror of stupidity, one click and paradise was captured inside my 6 inch screen instantly.

Now there's just memories, dwelling endlessly, affecting the flow of my energy. like how am i even suppose to learn and evolve from this mentally?

A wolf I became when your attention lit up my crescent moon to the symbol of infinity.
In a world where the strongest survive I only need you to obtain divinity.
Dec 2017 · 318
Untitled
amme Dec 2017
I told you this was a stupid idea from the get-go.
You said: maybe baby.
So I decided to try.
I fell for you, you were mine and I never planned to let go.
But she didn't know "love" is not something you just say though.

I've been through this before so I should of known, I just never really believed I could lose her.
three shots to my heart now everyone heard the rumor, pathetic young man who's whole life been a blooper.
Doc said take these and you wont feel like a loser. Real love is when you can be happy for others while you're stuck in a corner.

Well Doc,
I can already see myself there with a dummy hat on my head,
frown on my face because I heard he abuse her.
Now all I think about is that my maneuvers was worse than the abuser.

Used or abused.. neither is cooler.


Funny how different our life is yet we share the same future.
Dec 2017 · 331
91 23 07
amme Dec 2017
Was the day I decided to join my brethrens.
Spent two weeks longer in my mothers purse before birth just to make sure I would find my way to heaven.
It's a long search but hard work teaches a lesson; It's all perception.

I'm cursed,
It hurts.
Take away my oxygen so I can stop breathing for a second.
I need to know if my affection is a deception.
Why do I have to live in suppression?
I don't always make the right decisions but I don't need your protection.
My 21 grams may not hold enough weight but at least It's not missing in action.

Slow down,
take it easy.
I don't really need to be in this position.
It's all in my mind but to me, these are real visions.

Don't take away my sight just make me feel different,
because I'm close to losing my life but I haven't sought forgiveness.
Sep 2017 · 218
me
amme Sep 2017
me
I see you, pull my headphones out to greet you, even though I get more distracted by the thought of having to pull them out as a nice gesture than the actual music in my ear.
It's weird but that's just who I am.
It sure feels like I'm part of somebody's plan when everything I learned Can't even teach me how to behave like a human.
A pet, like a dog I'm confused by all the dogmas surrounding me.
Luckily I got the audacity to turn down their offerings and create a way for myself and those who choose to follow me, so follow me since nobody else has. I rode a straight path where darkness was the only friend I ever had but now.. I'm suppose to have all my **** in the bag?
So they ask; What do you need? A rack? Reggie or split it half and half?
I don't care...
As long I'm that needle in the haystack for my aire to find and inherit the knowledge of spreading peace in the air insted of spitting crack that's not hard to grind. Meanwhile my friends keep chasing birds like it was the only word my generation ever heard but **** it, It's cool.
Judging you was never something I ment do. I am just making you realize that, "that" ain't my life so when I finally do what I really want to do  just compare the difference and understand I had nothing to lose.
Aug 2017 · 852
Illumination
amme Aug 2017
"Hey! Wake up you ungrateful prospect."
- Im fully conscious, I wasnt in the back sleeping through lectures, I was lucid dreaming my way out of the classroom to actually gain some knowledge.

Stop gazing at my sight I ain't your son.
Throw up that sign like you praise the sun;
to catch the football and touchdown the feeling of making a dad proud of his son, "the hero", win.
Its like ****** but addiction is just in our brains, right?
So here on out the addiction stops.

See me as a human being, born to be the very same thing as you are.
Except I don't want to score in life, I don't sought after a prize to show off the immediate reaction of the mediocre platform we both stand on.
"The circle of life..."
More like the tall triangle we try to climb to reach the top for advice but the true path of life is slippery, just like the gaze in your eyes.
Jun 2017 · 274
I know I have tried
amme Jun 2017
Said I've been thinking lots about love.
That good sensation, gods temptation made me feel like I'm on top,
But now I'm back down.. Ooh and I sing out loud; It's okay I know we both tried.
Said I've been thinking lots about life; A Shakespeare quotation, Da Vincis paintings makes me want to strive,
for all the information in Gods creation, but now I'm on the ground..
Ooh...
Said I've been high and I've been wasted, I don't think I got the patience, to sing this time.
That's okay at least I know I've tried.
Jun 2017 · 227
The mistake
amme Jun 2017
The pound shows the sign, they crowned the tree of life,
enslaved the human mind to predict the future kind.
Now our smile represent the fright of missing the element of surprise to all the sights in our beautiful life.

And togetherness we shall find at the end of the day,
If you know somebody lonely please send them my way.
Stand with me in the spotlight at the center of the stage,
grant me a reason to remember your name.
Don't be afraid to change.
After all we are the ones creating the way of the next generation of human race.
It might be far away but don't save your time building up narcissistic traits as insanity fills up the void of grace.
We made a huge mistake
Feb 2017 · 720
Broken
amme Feb 2017
3:00 AM When my emotions gets the best of me.
Staring at my mood ring wondering how they planned my destiny because it shows the colors of the rainbow but only one can be meant for me.

My privacy, violated by the darkness of your soul, used my dignity until I buried myself in a hole and carved the lyrics of our love song on my tombstone.

Now the mood's gone, but the feeling still lingers It's just too strong for me to say; So long, I don't need you I'll move on.
I was a fool for so long It's like I got Stockholm syndrome.
Jan 2017 · 224
Talking to The devil
amme Jan 2017
You've been tempting us, to follow your way but we choose to unite, you chose to break the cuffs.
We're the same, only difference is the cells in us ain't the same Celsius.
You're lovesick and the lust is dangerous.
Don't envy us when we're together and you're only out to get "her",
take it to that degree and you'll end up six feet deep, It ain't fair in heights (Fahrenheit) comparing us.
Jan 2017 · 610
Innuendo
amme Jan 2017
Staring at the cold weather through the window,
think of all the ways I can win dough.

Every idea.. BINGO! But my two cents don't pay the rent though.

And I cant eat my thoughts for food so I'm stuck in limbo.
That's a food for thought that ****** up my credentials,
Because they kept offering me a penny for my thoughts until I said I was bruised and scarred so they gave me time off for being "mentally unstable".
If I tell them I'm not, I have to go back to my job of making my way to the hell hole but what choice do I got when It's either that or keep playing the role of scapegoat.

It's driving me insane and the pills I pop wont make the pain go. Meanwhile my stairway to heaven is literally blocked by my guardian angel.
Dec 2016 · 368
Random lyrics
amme Dec 2016
What the heck am I suppose to do if I can already see they have closed their minds. Its not their fault.
I can see how and why too, broken hearts from hopeless narcs...
They say remedy comes from inside I say please dont swollow your pride, take a look around, arrogance is what push us aside,
So kneel down to the being who's with you when you're griefing because only they know the pain you must be in. Pardon my preaching,
I aint trying to hurt your feelings because I know that you rather be in your room hanging from the cieling with a noose around your neck
but understand you must change what you believe in It's all part of the healing process.
Life is what you make of it and I chose to follow the prophets.
Living free I dont want to make any profits because proof shows the poor people are the best ones walking so stop all the **** talking, blessed enough to not think much of it but thats just one of my problems.
I'm scared of the darkness, overcoming my fear is progress so I face my nigtmares by embracing knowledge but still ask for Gods help because the heartless leaves me thoughtless.
They never ask why they just stick to their jobs, and trying to come up with solutions for non existing problems It's nonsense.
Now lets just be honest, the alpha and omega is just ticking the clocks, yes? So ofcourse Jesus (pbuh) will walk the earth at the days of apocalypse.
Astaghfirullah.
Take it as promise but dont knock on my door for more Im just repeating what God said.
I write down whats on top of my head into rhymes so Its not anything special.
I usually write to a beat too. I dont inted to offend anyone by my lyrics no matter beliefs. Im sorry If i did.
Nov 2016 · 1.1k
State of mind
amme Nov 2016
This new age happy truth life ****, I dont condone it beacuse when life hands me lemons... I turn it into haze and smoke it, thats just how my soul is.
Happiness? too hard to control.
Ego? too easy to promote.
Life? too many do and donts.
I dont curse life but when you love something too much you have to let it go!

Wow..

I cant afford to earn dough. Money on my mind but my heart changes flow. Went solo, had nobody swinging the ropes.
Didnt choose the thuglife so in my apartment stayin broke.
Smoking **** drinking coke slowly dying on my own.
Remeniss, think a while of everything from before.
Go to sleep with achievements setted out to score, wake up in my mothers home with nobody to call my own.
Everyday is a struggle to get through the door. Wake and bake or else my body's saying no.
amme Nov 2016
Fishing for knowledge in my never settling boat.
Waiting for a big catch while reeling in another low.
Need to find the right fish to feed my growth
so I can keep rowing my never settling boat.
Nov 2016 · 3.9k
Confusion
amme Nov 2016
Skating on thin ice my whole life like a figureskater.
First price on sight but the stripes, resembles a broken picture.

A golddigger... Go figure.
Writing straight from my heart so every bar tender. I remember a night in december,
from a walk in the park to a shot in the dark, I wasnt that cleaver.
Pretended to be concious and smart but now the scars on my arms shows that Im a beginner.
Sober for 3 years yet addicted to your liquor.
Sparked my transmitter when ladys slipper fell off after our first dinner,
But I never knew cinderella was a heavy hitter.
Couldnt connect the dots so now im on the ground with seven stars above my head like I got hit with the big dipper.

PTSD...
But **** all the modesty, I just need honesty...
My writtens a blasphemy (blast for me) but I can't be myself anymore like broken prophecy so God,
accept my apology, beacuse there's a monster inside of me that produces sick thoughts like it knew biology.


Some might say im insane but **** my brain, my heart is always by my side. Deranged thoughts but love tells me when its a lie.
So stay in my lane and embrace the fact that we all are going to die or live to busy and miss the heartbeat that takes you to the otherside.
Oct 2016 · 6.6k
Ignorance is bliss
amme Oct 2016
He de-seeded himself into three pieces and proceeded to grow a tree of decieving, you see.
One seed of the tree was greed, so all it would breed was to feed our needs.
Once we used up all its weeds we decided to dig deep to see what this tree was hiding.
There it was, all along infront of our eyelids.
The roots of this tree grew in all directions endlessly.
How could this be?
One seed for greed, one seed for achieving infinity..?
And for the third, I (eye) tried to see through the mystery of the last seed I collected all the ingredients to cook up the last grand meal.
Stirring it I caught a quick wiff of its essence and for a mere second I felt free, I acknowledged the knowledge of being me.
My brain was introduced to DMT and I also knew the signifigance of the truth, now I knew what I had to do.
Convinced of the truth but I still follow all your rules, im not insane I wouldnt go blow up a school but I swear, latley my brain been telling me, only options I have is to accept my destiny or change it by a killing spree.
I know you are testing me but how am I supposed to enjoy this beautiful scenery if I cant even get this stress of my chest so I can rest again peacefully.
I knew I owe my soul to this tree for the knowledge its giving me.
I try to hold on to my memories but as its leaves they fall eventually...
It kills me everyday, living, knowing its not for me.. not for me...
Sep 2016 · 919
Self imprisonment
amme Sep 2016
The constellation of Leo I manifested through.
Ever since my birth my heart belonged to you...

Caught in the endless loop since Its inception but perfection made me move,
Now behind the fabric of deception I see the truth, Its so tragic. They've hidden her, my Aquaris.
In the womb of Atlantis.

Ugh..
Thats just how my story goes, you could of just said sorry. I would've accepted your apologys.
Now they ought to put me in orange clothes.

Ready for adventure but our relation forced me to stay at home.
Deja vu when your psycopathic needs reminded me of places from before.
I've been taking detour after detour only to meet ****** that changed my lore to eeyores.
Now I daydream to feel free,
or cry to let of steam because It seems that memories is the only thing that means anything to me anymore.

There's no more purpose to act ******* the surface my life is worthless.
In fact. The shortest straw is in my hand because I always allow myself to draw last
and no matter how many sticks I gather from my past I still cant seem to reach the camels back.

My fire that burned with the disire of hope is now learning its becoming nothing else than smoke.
Translucent like a ghost..
Everyone came to see my roast where God attended as the host.
Reviewing my life while everyone laughs like its some sort of a big joke...
Sep 2016 · 4.2k
Codependency
amme Sep 2016
"Static on the line"
I lose my senses,
destined for greatness while stuck in this place where,
intelligence is replaced with penmanship.

"Lost connection"
Getting faded,
all familiar faces turns to agents like im Neo stuck in the matrix...

"No motivation.."
To fight this war myself and get through all this **** for my freedom like shawshankredemption.

"Mind constipation.."
Caught in the web of Jezabel,
Cant think over the ring of the dinnerbell.

"Losing patience.."
Stared her dead in the eyes but all she saw was her reflection.

— The End —