Who is she anyway?



Crying at any movie whether it's sad or happy...

Sharing her passion for music, whether or not she has anything to do with it...

Doesn't complain because she always wants to put others first.

Goes through pain like a bullet goes through flesh.



This is who she is at her best.



Don't try to underestimate her or put her to the test.

Always know she'll win because she not only follows instinct, but her heart.

Her heart that aches was replaced with glass a while ago.

Not only did it shatter, but it turned to cold hard stone.



She was accused of being a hard-headed human.

She was told that she was selfish, arrogant, and a liar.

How could you know behind her closed doors?



When you finally let go and get the chance to pull them open;

Then you'll see...

It had absolutely nothing to do with me.

Do you know how it feels?

What it feels like to be more than 6 feet under?

Being so far under, you would think that thunder would never occur.



A feeling so bad, that it suffocates you.

Shocks you, completely liberates you.



Your screams never fill the air, only your mind to keep you occupied.

People think you're to quiet, when really everything irritates you.

Everything becomes heightened for someone so far down.



The voices you hear, the random smells, people walking and you think they have their eyes upon you.

But they don't...

Remember; you're more than 6 feet under?



Believing the dirt surrounding you is the only friend you have.

It keeps you warm and absorbs your tears.

It has been keeping you alive...



You can't see it, except for others.

There are flowers sitting right on top of your grave.

No one put them there, except for you.



Because the ground absorbed you and your tears.

This is its way of showing gratitude.



No one can pick them up, except for you.

If someone were to leave me...

I would still breathe.

I'm sure you'd think I would sob,

When really I don't have the time for it at all.



When I'm done, I'm done.



Know that I won't change, and I'm not sorry for who I am or what I said.

Sometimes you need to hear words that aren't your own.



I can be aggressive.

I can be weak.

I can be wise.



These are the things in which makes me strong.

I've started to find out how to despise.



I try and try; now it all sounds like a rhyme.

My brain is fried and this is what I write.

So, if you leave now, I think I'd be alright.

I'll live with arms wide open...

So you won't have too.



I'll talk without stuttering...

Just to please you.



I'll smile with best intentions...

To save everyone else.



Except for myself.



So, this is how the story begins;

Who saves her?

"Never again."

I've repeated in my head a thousand times or millions.

I don't really see the point in crying.

The truth is I can't forget.

When I have you, I don't know agony.

All I know is stress.

I have a state in which I feel alone;

When really, no one's home.

You come around me and then I'm sure.

My stress is gone and I'm completely sober.

The horizon meeting the sky...

The sea of mysterious creatures...

The forest calling out to others...



Oh, how I wonder?

It's beautiful;

It's scary.

I'm so very wary.



The world is known to be cruel,

It has so much to do.

Know that you're not the only one to fall apart...

I know everyone gets lost with no spark.



However, there is something else...

Look out for our footprints, it can be anyone or anything.

Wanderlust is what will make us sing.



Sing with the birds and hear their plea's.

It's truly such a wondrous thing.

I'm forgetting.

Forgetting on sight.

Forgetting every night.

Something that was supposed to be important...

Is it really that important?



I'm worried that I'm sick,

Mentally, physically; what's my tick?



I'm afraid of ticks.



Forgetting the dark and finding the light.

But it's getting too bright.

My sight is it's own illusionist...

Pulling tricks to show me I'm losing it.



Threatening my anxiety and removing comfort.

Thoughts running up to the clouds and they don't come back down.



But when they do, it's all at once...



In fact, it's not good and pretty;

It's quite harsh and ugly.

It is decidedly so, it no longer bugs me...

I have no little row boat to find you.

I have no link or connection to escape you.

I have no pain or happiness without you.



My life seems to steer itself in circles.

Leaving a trail of salty water...

No anchor is strong enough to keep me down.



The ride is never to relax, it's a thrill.

Is this the way?

Is this my will?



Wave by wave hits me...

I stand my ground.

The ground, falling out.

Is this North or South?



Goodbye forever;

Forever I will be...

The one who is known to never sink.

Love has been wasted.
It's been thrown around with ease,
Without even saying please.

Love has been torn.
People live with restless care,
leaving others unaware.

Love is strong.
For those who share it respectively,
Carefully,
Passionately...
You find that love is everything and everywhere.

It's one of a kind.
It's living fair.

I've never met a man named Mr. Herbert.

I have talked to him.

Talking to Mr. Herbert was easy.

He was probably just as sweet as sherbet.

I knew him from the other side of the phone.

I can't tell you, what he does alone.

I won't judge; because I don't know.

Just be kind and use a respectful tone.

Because one day your Mr. Herbert will show.

When he does, friendship is the way to go.



Sincerely; to my Science teacher.

I feel like my life is stuck on Caps Lock.

What a disgrace.

All I want is to click Backspace.

I don't want to leave a trace,

Of the footprints in my past.

I just want a smooth life,

Where I can laugh.

Can you see it?

The horizon, it's calling me.

Can you feel it?

The ocean, dangerous and weak.



I see you.

I feel you.



How come you can't see me?

Why won't you feel for me?

What have I done to you?



I'll tell you; I did nothing.



You only see what your eyes disguise.

You only feel what your heart desires.



You don't see what I see;

And I see for me.

You don't feel what I feel;

And I feel for you.

All I have is grown up thoughts now.
I don't see that girl anymore, that child.
That child was never a child.
Just a girl.


In an extremely different world.
The one she used to get away from the confusing pain.
She screamed, sobbed, and stared her way through life.


Knowing how others had pain, so she never complained.


The screaming was to release anger.
The crying was to show her heart.
The staring was to test if others could stare back and find something more within the "innocent happy child".


The girl had something that was magic.
Her kind of magic.


Music played around her, in her head, and everyday to be an escape.
It was never just an escape route, it was a road to feeling happiness.
The happiness she deserved,


That we deserve.


Now, still to this day, the girl listens to music...
Not because of the escape, adrenaline, or odd feeling of emotions;
It's all for the passion and love that she feels.


Music is her safest place,
It's more than a dream or a part of imagination.


It was God's gift to her path, it is the start of her story creation.

We have righteous belief.

In a world like ours, you must believe in something.

When you believe in one thing,

It can lead to another.

If you say you believe in nothing,

Then, why do you stutter?

A broken heart can be mended.

Even from the one who broke it.

There is always something to remind...

But the past is the past;

We can't rewind.

Don't flee,

Or live with despair.

Just know someone still cares.

It happened to me,

And here I am.

Alive and well.

Please understand...

(I'm hurt, help)

It hasn't stopped.

But I'm learning to mend myself,

It's the place to start.

Time will only tell,

The matter of my plans.

I'm so glad,

Try to comprehend.

I hate time.

I hate telling it.

I hate seeing it go by being wasted.

I hate what it ruins.

But I love what it brings...

I love what it tells.

I love the unexpected.

You can't regret this...

I love that I don't hate it.

I'm learning to wait patient.

With the time being,

I'm not so sure.

Later on,

Time can only become more pure.

You can defeat time on your own.

Don't forget about it,

Keep up and follow it through your doors.

Time is walking.

Time is waiting.

Do something you're anticipating.

Show me the stars, as they glisten as they sparkle.
Show me the signs...
Is it true?
Am I a miracle?
It seems people forget you breathe.
Am I alive or is this a dream?
The roads I go down at night, the light falls right behind.
Is it my time?
Oh lord, will it be divine?


The things I've cried for are countless.
My tears are overwhelmed by their own sadness.
The things I see in my sleep, are they of sin or scar?
I'm sure people wonder if I'm alright; the truth is you never are.
The people who are sick will be healed.
Only to be new and reveal something beneath.
When in need you are hurt.
Pain is unbearable if it's true and clean.
My words will cut deep...
Oh lord, will you keep me?


I'm sorry if I intrude, maybe I'm even rude.
My thoughts can no longer be set aside.
After a while, I wonder if someone will be there for a lifetime.
If not I'll be fine...
Oh lord, here comes the circle of crime.


Will I be able to shine?
Like the stars above without daylight in sight.
My sight grows as the flowers bloom.
In touch with the people, I assume.
I cannot be contained like an animal, choosing the river to keep me afloat.
I will not stand down, I will not sink.
Lord the day I do; please come save me.


For I shall drown in the ocean of my thoughts...
I sought for you, for you I won't give up.