As the days heated up and the weather turned warmer..
We found ourselves and discovered the world was ****
I talked you listened..
You made me think of things I never thought of before.
I realized the things family did in the name of love was wrong
We talked about religion, and how things should be yet they weren't
We talked about the future and our lives that were yet to be.
Past loves, heartbreak, and fun were always welcome
You told me I wasn't an ******* or a bad person
Even though you were good cop, and I (all things considered) was bad cop.
For the first time I had a best friend
The kind they write movies about.
The kind in the stories that stick with the protagonist through it all
This novel was a tragedy though.
You ended up going away, through taking your life
And now I'm here - wondering where you went
Why you left
Why I hadn't seen the signs
And why in my own beast of a sadness
thought you were my friend out of pity (and so ignored those texts)
And what could have been had you, had we, continued.
Should I have been worried when you told me about the gun?
Or when you had that sad expression (the same as mine) on your face?
I should have sensed you thought the same morbid thoughts as I
That we may fly away on higher wings to another place to avoid this wretched life.
It's up to me to be good cop now but that was your role wasn't it?
On the day the earth swallowed you and we lay flowers on you, your mom asked why I hadn't talked to you.
She thought my words could've soothed your soul enough that we would have made it through.
The thoughts don't stop. And that particular one acts like a plague on my mind.
One that is shoved into me as a diseased hand of depression grips my skull.
I'm lonely without you.