How can we get so attached to someone who isn't
Even real? Why do we cry when something tragic
Happens to our favorite characters? I find myself
Not being able to get over Freddie McClair's death even though
I constantly remind myself that it was only fiction. Even
Now I am saddened by the memory. Freddie was only
A character.. Why must I feel so upset?

I don’t fancy going to sleep because I hate what I see when I close my eyes and I loathe staying up late because I am afraid of what my imagination can come up with.

I wanted you to never let me go
I wanted to have the privilege of waking up and your eyes being the first thing I saw. Remember when you would hold me after I'd been crying? I miss the fragrance of your sweater as my head fit perfectly on your shoulder. I miss the way your gentle hands rubbed against my arm, my side, my thigh.. You were always so much more open with your feelings than I was. Isn't that weird? I took those sweet little moments we had for granted, but if I had the chance to get them back, I would.

I've painted my nails black.
The color suits me well, I think It's my favorite.
It also happens to be very comforting..
I always thought I'd like him better if he wore
Black fingernail polish. Why didn't he?
The thought of that boy wearing black
Paint on his nails sends shivers down my spine.

I find that when I come here I feel at home or peaceful. I don't feel judged for the words I must type out on a page for they are more than just words to me.  
My social anxiety is not a handicap here and for that, I rejoice!
When I come here, I can lose my self in fine literature distracting me from
every thing that makes me want to end this thing called life.

Hey, Ole Sport. Nice to see your face again.
Life and love! Isn't it wonderful!? Strange too
I suppose. But you're still here.. Why? The ones
Who loved me the most, Daisy.. the ones from my
Parties. They left.. But not you.
Did you not love me? Or is it something else?

F is for the times when I say **** it
I is for the tears that I cry
N is the emptiness I feel inside
E is for the hope I have that it all is going to *end

Just because I like science does not mean I'm atheist.
Just because I'm Christian doesn't mean I'm religious.
Just because  it's easy for me to make friends doesn't mean I don't have social anxiety.
Just because I don't eat as much as everyone else doesn't make me anorexic.
Just because I make honor roll doesn’t mean I'm smart.
Just because I don't wear tons of makeup everyday doesn't mean that I'm confident in myself.
Just because I do not judge anyone does not mean I don't have an opinion.
Just because I blog a photo of a naked lady doesn't make me bi/ lesbian.
Just because I know the guy I like doesn't like me back doesn't mean that I can't continue to like him.
Just because people call me pretty and I say thank you does not mean I believe I am.
Just because I ignored you does not mean I didn't hear you insult me.
Just because I laughed it off does not mean it didn't hurt.
Just because I act strong does not mean I am.
Because that's all it is.. An act.
But no one cares to get to know the real me, so I hope you're happy with what you get.

Don't ever fall in love.
Don't ever try to find someone
You can loose  yourself  to .
No one cares about your fragile heart,
No one but you.
While you sit there, heart full of love,
He is sitting there looking at your
Photograph whilst some fair skinned
Girl has her tongue down his throat .

I should have known.
I thought I was maybe.. special?
What gives me the right to be special?
I am no better than anyone I ever thought
I was.

When I was little, I had this toy guitar that I loved to play with, red and white.
Something a normal child would have. I went to school, made lots of friends,
Got invited to birthday parties, I even got a rose from one of my
Best friends at the time for Valentines Day. I had two friends whom I used
To call all the time. There wasn't a single day that went by that
I didn't call one of them. So normal.
I guess I understand why even those friends left me, although I didn’t
At the time. I was always destined to be this.

Can someone tell me what has happened?
What is this word that we often use, normal?
It seems as if it has lost it's meaning or maybe
I have forgotten.
Do you find yourself using this foreign word?
Surely you know, maybe you could explain for
I am anything but.
Oh, I hope you can. I hear it is good, to be "normal"?
I wish I could concur...

She gave you a smile.
Teeth showing and all.
You could almost hear
The crashing of her walls
As they hit the ground.

You go to take her hand
And she begins to twirl
A strand of hair between
Her fingers. Still shy and
Timid, the fragile girl.

Where will you ever see
Such beautiful almond shaped
Brown eyes other than standing here,
On this beauty. Oh, yes, you call
Her Beauty.  

****. You can't help yourself
From imagining all that you would
Like to happen if given the chance.
But, not here! Not at Church for God's
Sake! He should strike you down in
This very moment… Yet, who could
Blame you?

When the prayer ends, you look
At Beauty one last time before
Having to take your seat. A hint
Of a smirk plays on her lips and
She looks down to your pants.
Oh God. She knows.. How
Embarrassing. This is a place of
God and this is sin..
Yet you can't help but to feel
Pleased.