A life cycle moving and changing as time passes by
A life cycle cycling till the days and nights die
A life cycle waiting to start again once it ends
A life cycle Cycling threw time and space threw the passing days
A life cycle growing, changing, learning
Death passes by
A life cycle starts again cycling its cycle till the end of time.

Love for me is it even a thing?
Will I be held by another?
Will I truly be loved?
May I let go of all that worry me and hope you wont brake me?
Will I ever be free?
Love for me?
Is it even a thing?
Can it happen?
Is it true?

Me.
Me.
Me.
Why not me?
Me.
Me.
Me.
Why not me?
Me.
Me.
Me.
...

She forgot about "we".
She forgot about "us"
She forgot about "they"
She was to trapped in the word "me" that she was to blind to see
She forgot about "we"

My mothers love was different.
Instead of kisses she gave me bruises.
Instead of hugs she gave me cuts.
On holidays she would just sleep.
On birthdays she would forget unless you where "important".
She was an addict they would say.
She was always mad at me.
She would always say the meanest of things.
She would often say things that burned you inside...
Things that ate at you.
Depression was a gift she gave to me.
I was the mom...That's what others would say...
I was the big sister so I was supposed to make sure the kids went to the doctors or ate or went to school.
But... It was okay.
the bruises not yet healed.
its okay.
The cuts now scars.
that's okay.
Me having to take care of everything.
Its okay.
The birthdays forgotten.
Its fine
the gift of depression you gave to me...
I loved it mom... Thank you.
The never ending words that eat you inside out.
Those words can stay if they'd like.
the cold feeling of loneliness.
Its fine.
All I ever truly wanted was to hear you voice.
for you just to say "I love you" and to mean it every step of the way.
I just wanted a hug.
But its okay.
Now I see you looking afraid and lost... Do you need a hug?
Do you need a kiss?
Would you care for a talk to let those negative emotions out?
I'm here for you even if you leave me?
I forgive you just say you'll forgive me to....
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you I loved you.
I couldn't tell you I loved you and meant it.
But that's okay I hope?
Is that okay?
My mother loved me.
She just showed it in different ways...
My Mothers "Love".

"You should be more happy"
"Okay" she replies
"You should eat more"
"Okay" she replies
"You should believe more"
"Okay" she replies
"No one likes you"
"Okay" she replies
"You should just die"
"Okay...." she hesitates to replies
Then a long silent pause
Children scream to see a sight...
An awful sight of a girl who has jumped off the roof of the school
With an awful painting on the floor that she splat upon...
Splats of red and the letters "OK" lay beside her

One day if I work hard enough i'll find myself.
One day I will no longer be lost at sea.
One day I will truly believe.
One day when life stops I will truly see.
One day.
One day just One day.
I will learn to truly love.
I will learn to Understand the non understandable.
One day.
Just One day.
One day.

surrounding.
closing in..
grounding.
running.
trying.
hiding.
silents....
*
words.
s­poken.
endless suffer.
walls.
closing.
getting closer.
space fills.
screams go still.
darkness fallows.
rooms fill.
Rooms.

You told me you loved me even when you didn't
just to keep me satisfied.
you told me I was your world even when I wasn't
just to keep me satisfied.
you told me that I was your everything even when I was nothing
just to keep me satisfied.
you said it was the truth even when it wasn't
just to keep me satisfied.
you told me you wanted me even though you didn't
just to keep me satisfied.
you told me every heart warming thing even though I knew...
it was all just to keep me satisfied.
But I wasn't.
I never was satisfied.
I wasn't satisfied with your lies.
I wasn't satisfied knowing the truth not told by you.
I wasn't satisfied with you.
I never was.

strong
brave
beautiful.
She was
loving
energetic
and free.
She was
happy
&
smart.
But now, she's nothing.
She's
a ghost of the past
a dead star
a lost puppy.
She's
weak
and fragile.
She's lost in her mind
unable to return.
She isn't what she use to be.
She isn't who she was.

She was beautiful and so full of life
She was as bright as the sun
She brought a smile to anyone she met and to anyone that she saw
She was brave
She was fearless..or was thought to be anyway
She was unforgettable until they forgot her
She was like a flame until they put her out
She was like a lion until the poachers came
She was like a wild flower until they picked her
She was like a tree.. oh so full of happiness until they cut her happiness down.
She was everything until they made her nothing
She was kind
She was.

Snow.
Cold.
Frozen.
Snow.
Time stops.
Snow flakes freeze in space.
Then it all starts again.
Snow.
Cold.
Frozen.
Snow.

I know         a      someone          
     who's                                  special to me   
I know a someone                               as happy as can be
I know a someone that's                                   brighter then the sun
I know a someone who's                                       in love with another
I know a someone who                                             was played like a game
by the someone                                                          ­                      that he
loved
I know a someone that                                                       owns a broken heart
Someone that                                                             ­       deserves much better
Someone that                                                             ­         deserves a queen
Someone that                                                            d­eserves happiness
but                                                    ­                                    instead
gets                 ­                                                           betray­al
I know a someone who's             like a cloud full of rain
I know a someone who has a battle with their brain
I know a someone who's the owner
of a broken heart I know
a someone
special to
me.

if only I could hold you close
If only you would stay
If only time would obey

we fell in love
we where one
time brought us together...
and tour us apart
I just wish I had more time with you...
Time.

"I just want to be understood" She thinks in her mind.
"I just want be normal" She whispers to herself.
"I just want to be loved" She yells to the sky.
"I just want to be noticed for who I am, not for who i'm not" she cries.
"I just want to be like the others" She says as tears fall down from her eyes.
"I just want to be loved for me" She begins to sob.
"I just want to be understood" She says as she turns the door ***.
"I just want to be normal" She begins to grab a chair and rope.
"I just want to be loved" She stands on the chair with the rope tied to her throat.
"I Just want to  be understood" She says one last time as gods tears fall from the sky.
"I just want to be-" She begins to say as she is interrupted by the sound of a rope tug and the movement of a chair.

"She just wanted to be understood....She just wanted to be loved" He says out loud to the world.
"But I'm not understood..."
And the story goes on

"But why?"

Why do people have to cry?
Why do so little people ever truly try?
Why is it that the world is grim?
Why must she cry over him?
Why must we worry?
Why aren't we ever truly freed?
What else do we possibly need?
Why do people have to cry?
Why is it that most people wish to die?

You picked them.
You picked her.
You picked him.
Why not us?
You loved them.
You loved the taste.
You loved the smells.
You loved the sights.
You loved her.
You loved him.
Why not us?
You admired them.
You admired her.
You admired him.
Why not us?
You never left them.
You never left her.
You never left him.
Why leave us?

words can cut deeper then a knife
words can hurt more then a punch to the face
words can care more then a hug
words can brake more then him
words can make you
words can brake you
words can heal you
words.