My heart is hollow and empty
I have no vacancy of our binding entity’s  that once lived there equally combined
Your ghost is a impending haunting of memory that dwells inside
I long for an exorcism to make you flee from my “fist wrapped in blood”
Your every step  
laid down a trifling path leading me to the gallows within shadows
How could you do this?

I am doomed to these four walls.
The kind that are stained with the sinister colour of hate, but filled with the stench of entrapment.
A prisoner  to this war of racing thoughts and self loathing.
I'm shackled with a chain, and at the end of it, is weight of my
remorseful regrets.
A person can go mad on such conditions.
Like bats in the belfry.
But I cope with the worse intentions that I blankly dispatch such events, and call in the wrecking ball.
Operation with the actions to break and have a calling of  destruction to these ******* walls.
Just remember you caused that structure.
So now I embrace this freedom with a ******* held higher than the pedestal you thought you reigned so high on.
You ****** me up.
You once  held me higher than I thought I could climb, but now I just say no.
Your eyes enlighten me with such serenity, but now I see the trickery behind them.
I know now what wasn't true.
I know now what wasn't real.
I know now your title will always be a harlot with an addiction of  lust  like intentions, so lay in your bed of filthy lies.
I know now what ******* **** you truly  are.
I know now I'm free.

Everything has become so  irrelevant.
I'm searching for an explanation but it doesn't add up. Nothing does.
  I stay Comprehensive but nothing suffices.  Its a case of reversionist logic.
     A impending cycle with no absolute meaning. Fog seems to cloud my judgement so my conscious doesn't comply.
Loathed anti prescription swallowed daily, while the white walls and blue ocean make it's scenery.
The voices try to compromise,  but it's a debate that holds an never ending rebuttal.
Always forced into the unknown.
  But a understanding of me, my voice, my demeanor, and my place in this bounden life circle is lost. So you must believe that no one will understand me.
  I consider my self a ancient relic.
I'm one of a kind but not rare.
Cause once someone sees something extraordinary over time, it looses it's taste and someone becomes tired of seeing the same thing over time..
logic at it's finest.
We all soul
search to fill life's embrace of these mixed emotions.
To experience what keeps my sanity afloat. 
 My vices keep me intent.
In a way of keeping my head up and realize what power Im withholding that makes me immune to unknown circumstances.
But the path to the void is too simple.
My courage consumes and corrupts my will of giving up.
But yet again,  it all seems irrelevant. Maybe your point of view on these lines I speak is a clear one. But then again maybe manipulative resources blind you. Or do you see my point?

Decency is very  immaculate.
Yet these women lack it.
Showing so much skin that the men can probably taste it.
These men  insinuate women into *** objects.
But pushing them
to become a despised icon.
Now a days reputation seems to be the stereo type.
Males are pigs waiting to be slaughtered.
Girls will rant consistently about how they use and manipulate them.
Yet you live up to being a back porch baby,
as well show off those curves anonymously for lustful eyes.
False alarms wont save them. Cause they burn their own bridges.
Yet others wear  their pride
and keep what most are not aware of, which is class.
Women who stay loyal to the core and Share their soul with nothing but a Heart full of
ravishing intentions are indeed very rare.
Beauty that would petrify you were you are standing.
A delightful dream
that you're scared you will wake up and suffer society's standards of a female.
The lesson of this is nice guys finish last.
My amazing charm and mentality of a gentlemen is ignorantly ignored.
Nothing but remorse can be felt with this situation with them.
Sorry that they will never feel the vibrations
of the overrated word named "love".
Things that would make Hester Prynne disgusted.
But in all words,
my sail with no compass will not be over.
The storms might get heavy periodically, but then the waves will sail properly in my favor.
My search will be fulfilled
So on this long sail I'll never acknowledge these indescent
sirens.
So when they pass  "X" will mark the spot.

We receive this blessing of whats called a life.
By all means, inhale it's beauty.
Live each day with reckless intentions.
But beware and rebuild your catastrophic paths.
Take your mistakes as a gift and learn from them.
Cause karma like always, make's its rounds.
The stereo type  perspective of life is obvious.
Enjoy the sun's radiant rays and own the heat.
Don't be normal.
Keep people guessing on the edge of their seat.
Because in reality, those who follow and are normal,
are force to
crumble.
Let your beauty make your foes stumble.
Hate is a weak emotion.
So never show it, but loath it.
Let your heart go and feel its motion.
But a broken heart, i really can not explain that emotion.

This upcoming February darkness,
I fear is going to take its final toll.
Not equipped to comprehend fate's
sick intellectual twisted game.

Memories from our past life,
rushed through my veins.
For it has only been one earth year,
but this time warp we got ****** into,
seems like a lifetime ago when I first inhaled your radiant chemicals.
You threw them into my path of airwaves.
Lost,
knowingly  aware there is no going back to what was or what could be.
What source of love is this?  
Much more than just  
the chemical  dopamine.
No.
More complex.

Yet my foe reality,
is always waiting around the corner.
Can't seem to get it on my side.
But determined 
to stop and wake  my pathetic urge  of hope I
shamefully still hold  on to.
Blood stains my scenery and memory pod.  
No these are no trophy's.
Your curse is my beautiful divine punishment.
  

Reminded
of the genuine ways  
of what humans use to call a real "man".
That i never  shown effortlessly
due to my selfish actions.
How insecurity brought out
the wrong demon inside me.
And vacuumed, and blacked out  the fire
we both in lighted together , nothing but catastrophic intentions.
Our souls entwined as one.
Our  hell we planned to decimate as one.
Side by side.
Our own oblivion.

The beginning of our lovely  journey seemed too flawless.
Your false pretentious of how I was everything
  that you thought I'd be or not, left you blind to my tool of manipulation. .
Oh *** I knew the potential of your sorcery.
An amazing charm.
from the Genesis.
Still I did not object.


Your eyes glazed and burned like 100 suns into mine.  
Brighter than the suns destroyed
and countless planets obliviated.
For my own beautiful art
of genocide done by my own hand.
  Inspire of how we came into each others existence,
you  seemed  to  still acknowledge the common moral
Ways of the human race.

You came With fair  warning of the curse you were capable of casting,
one that had no ending.
An amazing disease. A plague of never forgetting your beauty.
A face of all goddesses.
Perfection.
A Masterpiece.

Fully aware of the costs of this suicidal journey.
blessed to even fill  your breeze
on my face from your
predisposed aroma feeling my cold lungs.
Shutting them down slowly.  
savoring the thirst of this process.
Ironically feeling more alive with your fire still burning inside me.  

Ablator synced to support my youth lungs that are now blackened by your hex.
Vitals balanced.
But for how long?

My sweetheart can I get your forgiveness?.
Selfish acts   corrupted   what was  once my soul,
And put yours  at stake.
Betrayal   got the best of you.

Years of  agony and torture I suffered without your embrace.
Our binding contract of loyalty I broke .
Smile of grace from ear to ear,
racing thoughts of  how I dreamed of
dying and to see those eyes one final time.
Look of Satisfaction fills your resplendent green eyes.

Patience ;
you have mastered build for this particular day.
my sins,
my evil deeds have  caught up so you could finally witness this  
moment.

Vitals slipping.
As my ablator slowly loses its power source.
Drifting away,
yet lifted in levels above to be
holding your hand a final time.
While I take my last breath.


Rest easy
with a peace of mind when you hear my flatline.
Baby thank you for this disease.
The cleansing I always thrived for.

My love forgive me.

Slipping higher.

Gone from existence.

From your shattered soul.

Escape of dreaming with a broken heart. And dwelling with the feeling of waking up.
Sleeping becomes addicting .
So the 3 hours past noon creeps up on me. I can not bare it no longer. I'm a coward.
I'm sinking. Will you save me?

My sober thoughts eat my soul bit by bit. Feening  just that one sip.
Falling  for the same **** tricks.
Clueless.
The idiot.

Like being left here to burn in the place's you've  standed. Gone. ******. Stranded.



So its time for my daily cleansing with my buddy jack. Everything is beyond blurry.
Skeptical thinking but you start swirving.

I'll always  Slur   on words you'll  never say. Clever little girl I know your  games.

So far gone from reailty, how the numb senile feeling reacts so smooth.
I would try again with hope but then again that'd be the *****.

So I'll  celebrate  in your honor on this wretched night.
Lathered in my own shame.



Slowly loosing  my composhere step by step. I'm crippled and running out of legs to stand on . im a mess.
But my sweetheart your the closest to hell I'll ever be.
My Eyes glazing  blood red. hatred. Torn to the seems.

But my darling wasn't this what you wanted me to be? Or was it how you've  always been good at dropping to your knees?

Hell who knows.  Forget my name .

You always have your own way ,
blinded by the greed of lust and waist low pleasure.
Seems your the one shipwrecked and lost.

I'm so far gone.
But jack my buddy, one more drink
And I'll move on.

I'll take it back to those dark dim light streets and start again.
I'll never look back over my cold shoulder. There is now static  in the midst.  Like the final curtain call of a tragic happy ending. Deranged by this false pretension that you have embedded into my beautiful flaws. Lost in my own Dark morgue holding a ciggerate in my hand. Every drag closer to my dead line, but more bliss than dying next to a harlot, liar, and trader.
Baby why couldn't of you of just trusted my word? Now just look at this mess. Your beautiful mess. My disaster. My best gentlemen suit  now ruined.  I can wash out the stains of regret, but not the blood on your  filthy hands that isn't your own. Set the trial. Prosecute the guilty. **** the false idols and beat the cheeks of the ignorant.
Your a addict for  those tall tale  accusations that feed your hunger. Like the deep belly of the beast that is never satisfied. Seeking the image of your face to destroy, but your  faceless to my devine  perspective of a fake object I once looked up too.
Set the trial. Prosecute the guilty. **** the false idols and beat the cheeks of the ignorant.
Your beautiful mess.
My disaster.