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484 · Sep 2019
Rock Bottom
Jay Sep 2019
Don't you think we'd be better off,
Just tryin' to tie it all up in a knot,

Can't you find a better way,
If you got a word or two that you need to say?

Yeah I don't think,
It's healthy,
To be stuck,
So please tell me,

The answer,
To our problem,
Is to not fall,
To the bottom.
keep on movin up friends
462 · Jul 2019
Let's go to bed
Jay Jul 2019
I wanna go to bed with you,
Nothin’ ***** I just wanna sleep next to you
I wanna wake up early at the crack of dawn
After sleepin’ pretty soundly all night long.
A lil jingle or part of a song that's p sweet
452 · Aug 2019
Love Me Tonight
Jay Aug 2019
What do I have to do
To get her to love me tonight
For a single moon
Where we can go out and love
And do the things she loves to do
With someone who'll love them too
Because they make her happy
She makes me happy
What is the cost
What must be given
What dues must be paid
For her to love me tonight
Just this one time
i know i don't need her but it feels like i do
395 · Aug 2019
Dear ol' Dad
Jay Aug 2019
A distant man,
He's different but the same,
And while he had up and ran
I still owe him my name
Can't say I resent him,
But the love can be strained
I wish we had understanding,
Yet it's just a pain
i should talk to my father more
358 · Sep 2019
Welcome Daybreak
Jay Sep 2019
Records of times past
Fill me with an indescribable dread,
And recognition of the cliches
That come with these internalized nightmares
Keep me tossing and turning,
Weeping into the darkness,
Loathing the fact that I'll always be alone.
its hard to just chill and accept what you can't have
355 · Sep 2019
Break
Jay Sep 2019
All it took,
Was another crack in the shell
To come crumbling down
In a river of red and regret
Out in the open,
Oozing out my soul for others to see,
Some relate, some scoff,
I need not their pity,
I need a break from blaming myself.
When will I break from breaking down?
with my track record, you're practically shooting down a corpse at this point
349 · Jul 2019
Livin' the dream
Jay Jul 2019
Drummed up another one,
Can't see from up above,
Guess what I have become?
...

Come and have fun with me,
Be what you wanna be,
Tell all that you can see.
...

Day's goin' by again,
This cannot be the end,
Can I please be a friend?
...

Grown up and past the sun,
Life has just now begun,
You've been my darling one.
...

Love showers over me,
Come forth and let's be free,
This is how it ought to be.
...

Time has stopped.
pause? what? huh?
307 · Aug 2019
Tired Shaky Blues
Jay Aug 2019
I'm tossin' around,
I feel like a clown,
The world's rollin' over me

I'm goin' to town
I keep fallin' down
This atmosphere's killin' me

It's been a long day
And the night is gettin' longer

I ain't no alley cat
Or a black and white striped robber

I need to go to bed,
So I'll wake up in a morn,
With some pepper in my step,
Feelin' like I've been reborn
But the clock is tickin' by
And the well is gettin' dry
So let's all go to sleep
For a while.
blues blues blues, I'm feeling blue
302 · Aug 2019
Why don't I die tonight?
Jay Aug 2019
I'm left to wonder in my sheets
Why I'm not fit to die tonight
In a thrilling blaze
With a hint of shame
Does it matter if I have a name?
I'm all good tho rn but it comes to mind sometimes
298 · Sep 2019
Sage, Pop
Jay Sep 2019
Avoid the crystal spheres
Looking glasses of the ******
Treasured possessions of the evils that inhabit them
Give me your arm darling,
Let me pull you away
From it's alluring tongue
For its bobber is laughing
And the Devil cackles with it.
You are safe with me.
the imagery is badbadbadbadbad
298 · Sep 2019
Cloth
Jay Sep 2019
Which cloth am I cut from?
In a menagerie of material
From the crude to the formal
It's frustrating
Where do I belong?
Am I him or her,
Or my very own?
i aint tryna bug ya babe
282 · Oct 2019
Nightime, Childtime
Jay Oct 2019
Farmer John is up
It's early in the morning
A cup of Joe
Is what he needs to go

Barbershop, clean cut
The sun is bright and pearly
Some shaving cream
Will put you in a dream

A cup of warm milk
On winter's eve
Is all you need

Warm bed,
Its snug,
It's warm, it's wet, you peed

"How embarrassing!"
The sheets rolled up and dripping down the stairs

Bad parenting?
I don't think mom or dad will really care.
im not fond if talking about *****. its gross. ***** is gross.
280 · Jul 2019
Catching Up
Jay Jul 2019
Droppin' on in,
It's been a minute since we've talked,
Your hair has grown,
Your face has faded,
It used to be brighter
If memory serves.
Have you been well?
New job? New love?
Only if you don't mind.
Have you heard that new song?
Have you seen that movie?
How's that startup idea gone?
Where has all the time gone?
We should talk again sometime.
Or not,
Whichever you prefer.
hello frens
263 · Sep 2019
The Market at Night
Jay Sep 2019
Market rest under the night sky
As a monkey runs along the roofs of the town,
He hops on the cloth that shades the produce when the sun beats down,
And bounces up and all around
Until the sun comes back again,
And the market exudes life as it should.
cute lil idea
258 · Oct 2019
stream
Jay Oct 2019
The rain of the previous year,
Has made the sky so perfect and clear,
It’s washing away,
Our yesterday,
It’s tumbling down from above,
It’s Chicken Little on the run

Don’t choke on your sweat,
Have we made it into heaven yet?
The moment is right,
We’re up all night
And trading silly stories from the present, past, and the future

Your hair it shines,
And your smile reflects off mine,
You may think it’s bad,
The faces you had,
But now the stress is fading away
You’re ready for a new day
its stream of conscious oh no don't do that
253 · Aug 2019
I Need a Change
Jay Aug 2019
I can feel my heart crumble,
Crushed beneath the weight
Of the feelings I feel
On the day to day.
Why do I feel this way?
I think I know why
But it's really hard to say.
And to have it whispered back
In the same dulcet tone
Sends shivers down my spine
And tears in my eyes.
idk man the clock is tickin'
238 · Jul 2019
On the Topic of Smoking
Jay Jul 2019
On my addiction ****,
I need to pop a cig,
I think that I should vape instead,
But the nic and vibe is all the same.
Why do I keep comin’ back?
I know exactly why, but why can't I just,
Y'know, stop?
Why am I wired to do what gives me that exhale,
Knowing full and well my breathing is gonna be shot?
One a day, two a day, five, a pack.
The number is rising but I still cough up cash so I can cough up my stress.
People have outlets right?
Running, working out, drawing, even writing.
Is this one of those things?
Some people are better off just not venting at all yeah?
Facing their problems head on?
****, there I go again.
How's a patch on my arm supposed to keep a cig out of my hand?
It's a great way to put a physical expression into how I'm feeling.
The smell and the taste puts into perspective the ****** feeling I have on the inside
It feels good initially.
It helps with the anxiety.
At least it's legal, unlike ****.
I'll just wean myself off.
Little by little,
Day by day,
One smoke at a time.
A solid chunk of this is excuses my friends use for why they smoke. I used to be a shill for **** sure, but I've always loathed cigarettes and cigars.
208 · Jul 2019
Sweetie
Jay Jul 2019
Thrown in a mortar again,
And grounded down,
Into the purest form I've ever been,
My shell is but a thing of the past,
But give it time,
I'll build it all back up,
And while some have seen the worst of me,
They'll see what I think I'd ought to be,
An idealized construct,
Be it paper or glass,
Or the sugar on a creme brulee,
You crack the sweet,
And you get to the cream at last.
Depending on your tastes,
You may like what you get,
But it isn't likely,
It's best you just forgive,
And forget.
sweet on the outside with a creamy gooey stupid center
205 · Oct 2019
Whoops
Jay Oct 2019
Pick me up
Give me a ticket
We've all done this before

What the ****?
Hey babe let's stick it
Shaking me to my core

Give it a try
Baby don't go out and die!

It's okay
I never mean't a word I said anyway.
sorry frens, been a minute. college is time-consuming, as is love :)
183 · Jul 2019
Disordered
Jay Jul 2019
I feel sick to the core,
Reviled by my current state,
And tormented by uncertainty
At an alarming rate.

Terrified to overstep a line,
Scatterbrained by nature,
Yet hyperfocused by design
On the most trivial of things.

Choking on aspirations,
Hindered by one's mind,
And bound to a system,
Of a truly unique kind.

Juxtaposed against oneself,
Organization amongst chaos,
And though the thoughts may be top shelf,
They're too raw for the refined.

Cure the cursed,
Rip away the fear,
The sun is coming up,
Let's make another year.
i broke a glass whoopsie
181 · Aug 2019
a flower
Jay Aug 2019
A little flower,
Sproutin' up in the sun again,
She never thought that she'd make it this far,
But today won't be the end.

The clovers rally around her,
They cheer her on and bring her luck,
She grows tall in the warming sun,
Cause she's anything but stuck.

But as the Winter blows over her
And her petals grow so cold,
Time is slowing down for her,
And she keeps on getting old.

The ice has kept her down and out,
But her story won't end here,
It's a waiting game for Earth to play,
That changes year to year
smol plant
173 · Aug 2019
Moon's Wisdom
Jay Aug 2019
I wonder if the moon and all of its time sitting up on it's perch
Has given it the word so to speak.
Words of kindness that reflect off the surface and back into the hearts and minds of those who desire it's wisdom,
Rain your words down on me,
I'll take them all to heart.
not if papa sun has anything to say about it!
173 · Jul 2019
A Breakup
Jay Jul 2019
A record scratched and scathed,
Why don't you ever behave?
It's not that you don't want to,
It's only cause’ I asked you.

Like a father to his child,
You never cease to be wild,
And I'm left to pick up your mess,
What's this feeling in my chest?

I never signed up for this,
But you took me aback,
With a hug and a kiss,
Twas a lovely attack,

And when the day was done,
I found myself in your arms,
Left to think that you had won,
Me over due to your charms.

Yet over time you've proved,
That you can't keep up the pace,
At first I thought we'd groove,
But then you spat in my face.

And even though I forgave you,
It just happened again,
And again,
And again,
And again,
And again,

Why is it hard to let go of,
What clearly doesn't work?
It doesn't mean that I don't love you,
But this ain't just one quirk,

We can't continue like this,
It's as plain as can be,
Let's not part with a kiss,
And just drift out to sea.

I truly wish you the best,
And hope your feelings will heal,
Now I'll give it a rest,
Just keepin’ it real.
guys its a break up
154 · Jul 2019
War Games
Jay Jul 2019
Drop a little note
in the pocket on his shirt
when he reads it later
his heart will begin to hurt
because he's lost what he held
right before his very eyes
and he didn't say a word
so now he just sits and cries
cries for the good times
the best and the worst
and even though she always felt it
for him this is the first
yet she's free from it now
there's not a care in her soul
for the man who had ****** her
and taken a toll
but was he really so bad?
he may sound like an abuser
and you must not shove your pity
only on the accuser
for if it takes two to tango
then their love was a ballet
full of twists and turns
where the betrothed must betray
be there no rules in war
in this war game of passion
and while she found salvation
he was left with the rations
in this broken up hellscape
where the two plates have split
they cease to keep contact
their dumpster fire still lit
sheesh just make up and kiss already
145 · Jul 2019
wavy
Jay Jul 2019
Drive down to the coast,
Meet me on the shore,
I'll take your hand,
I'll show you where the waves collide,
Crash together,
Be together,
Getting closer and closer all the time.
wavy gravy so **** tasty
136 · Jul 2019
How do they sense this?
Jay Jul 2019
Piercing static noises
Disrupt the state of partridges
Their necks in holes like ostriches
At the slightest glimpse of consequences
Pertaining to their life expenses
How do they sense this?

The PSI required
To make us inspired
Roused by unspoken choirs
Using their strengthened minds
Under simple disguises
So that they surmise it
How do they sense this?

Mother’s eyes in the back of her head
They’re filled with dread
She looks ahead
To see when we have been misled
How do they sense this?

A dream is a vision wrapped in mystique
Intentions are good but the vision reaks
Perfection isn’t always what we all seek
How do they sense this?
no seriously i wanna know

— The End —