What if this entire world
Was only just a dream?
If everything you said and did
Was never heard or seen?
If I do have wisdom,
Why can’t I recognize?
And if I don’t know that it’s wisdom,
Well... am I even wise?
Just thinking.... if you have an answer or opinion on this please share it!
Coming in sunset hues in my dreams
And incubus-like shadows.
I watched honey smeared lips
And just admired.
That love smells rather of pesticides than freedom.
Like having to love to say I hate you?
What the **** is that...
Is cold in the air
Platonic, romantical, ****** you name it.
I've no love to spare.
How smooth can you be?
What's falling in love and what's just thinking about it, the possibility, of potentially feeling what is marketed as... Love.
Dedicational letters or careless texts seem useless,
Unless they make you feel less worthless.
Nonetheless it's just advertisement for some feeling growing out of my inexistent basement.
I've been told, told that I have an asexual view over romanticisms and ****** encounters.
I am just as perverted as the rest of the world,
Possibly even more.
But what is ******* and *** to love
The statuesque human principle?
Simply just as relatives as time.
lick tongue sealed the chronic condition of this flimsy envelope
glue made mobile
tongue devours all that made the flavour of that sweet additive of
ever so luring adhesive
seal me like your lips after i brush my fingers down your sifting hair to your hypnotic hips
conceal me and i'll seal you with every taste
glue me down with your formulating lip gloss
a message you'll carry around with you that was never spoken loud
this envelope is sealed and is waiting to be dropped at its destination
123 love me like i could have loved you
mail is outdated but we kept it stylish
Anticipation and all its fulfillment
Expectations and their dissapointment.
Laying in the bathtub on my birthday.
Like a fool.
And laughing sincerely
Scared of further living
Letting someone else love for me.
Because dreams are too vivid.
I don't like you I just need your warmth.
For now and probably for a month.
And it's so enchanting
How I'm so careless but so scared
So reckless but so restrained.
Too young to be able to understand.
How it all functions,
Young and flirtatious.
Keeping the rest to myself because anything else is a negation.
Broken promises and broken bones,
On loud nights when I drink nonalchoolic champagne.
Heat raves and the sky falls,
I'm 16 and alive.
How did I make it?
Young and clueless,
Life's a movie and I'm awfully egotistical.
Speaking to all the clouds and ignoring the voices around.
Baby, I tell them, "ill never fall back into love"
I'm an idiot plus the stars said love's just a social construct.
So i stood there in the dark, no water in the bathtub just me, listening to chuckles in my room celebrating my birthday.
birthdays and lonely hours.
The rain of the previous year,
Has made the sky so perfect and clear,
It’s washing away,
It’s tumbling down from above,
It’s Chicken Little on the run
Don’t choke on your sweat,
Have we made it into heaven yet?
The moment is right,
We’re up all night
And trading silly stories from the present, past, and the future
Your hair it shines,
And your smile reflects off mine,
You may think it’s bad,
The faces you had,
But now the stress is fading away
You’re ready for a new day
its stream of conscious oh no don't do that
at times I do agree
to the things you say
about you and me - at times
until nothing at all
knots having been burnt
by the zany boiling suns
at times I think
that each word crawling
underneath the seams
is worth eating
and each promise I steal
tastes like melting butter
and steel beams
at times the iron
builds up in my core
and I can divulge no more
at times, there is no time
for some reason
you control my reality as a whole
and when my world starts to crumble
you simply press reset
so things go back to the old way
where I would agree with you,
again and again
Oh yes. You ARE jealous--
Thou and thy hangdog airs! In sheer betrayl,
You started it. My brother told me thence
Who left? and I said "...I don't care from hence
Cuz--(nevermind)." So who is now to scale
'Non showing off that, erm, I do?! In frail
Excuse for all this foolishness, whose sense
Has fueled this madness?! Yours, for all intents.
Yet wherefore do we thus go on sans bail?
I swear, no sooner do I throw as twere
The towel in on this game, but lo, twon't do.
You're back in gear to circumvent my poor
Attempts at moving on. You like me too?
No, that can't be. But oh! Tomorrow. You're
What, eh? Not jealous of my smiles, are you?
Okay. *slams his door to let me know he begs to differ with my bravado that "I don't care about--" and: YOU win.
Thinking about heading west again.
Except now it’s real. Maybe a basement
apartment in the suburbs. Or just somebody’s old bedroom.
My mom says I need to slow down. Rest.
She knows I’ve been sick for months.
But then I would have to start thinking again.
On the way to her house, this morning,
there were two pickup trucks parked by the train tracks.
The sky hurt to look at - what else is new.
Something hurts inside too – a place I can’t pinpoint.
I want to drive and listen to sweet music.
But should I leave when I came so close to losing you?
I don’t want to be half a world away
if the ground breaks. You think the desert
sounds good for me – it does, it does.
It’s so hard to tell when you’re happy for me.
We have the same sad eyes, the same predisposition
for addiction – same blood, too thick. That side
of my family reads like a warning label.
The other side – less clear – I spent a lot of time
with family last week. Finally I piece together
that maybe my mom is the black sheep. Not
in the traditional sense – but a runaway, scared.
I’m scared too. Not of the same things, always.
I don’t mind being alone at the train station.
My dad says he wanted to tell me in person –
it’s hard to believe now. He still doesn’t want
to talk about it. So I tell him I’m moving –
but it’s the least excited I’ve been.
Maybe I should take the guest bedroom
and just call it quits.