The leaves fall down,
My motivation too.
Just yearning for winter
Or something else to do.

I cling on, push myself
With each and every task.
I'm barely hanging on,
It's too much to ask.

To the branches and twigs,
The leaves remain strong.
Stacks form beneath them;
They will all join the song.

Yet as the leaves fall,
I can see a clearing.
My vision is regained;
My ears are hearing.

There's beauty around;
The foliage is red.
It merely suggests change;
The trees aren't dead.

Instead of wilting
Just like the flowers,
I can enjoy the minutes
And be present in the hours.

Floral death lies amongst
The pumpkins that grow;
When the days are long,
It's okay to take it slow.

The children find joy
In trick-or-treat.
There's maple, pumpkin,
And apple to eat.

In autumn you may
Lose your spark,
Just as the maples
Expose their bark.

There's also the chance
To ******* your boots.
Stay grounded like the oaks
Who find strength in roots.

oh, the fire with its dancing beams
welcomes each morning with hues so bright,
engorges as the globe circumnavigates,
fading, dissolving, with approaching night.

the clouds play tag with the ball of gas:
covering, as curtains - some thin, others thick.
mighty Cumulonimbus precedes the drops;
delicate Cirrus wisps are the sky’s speckled pick.

the forests serve as shadows for all the horizon:
redwood to palm, soaking up a meal
from the glowing radiations that branch out;
the rooted ground is theirs to steal.

the species of the world adapt to its clock.
majestic elephants roam while the glows remain,
and owls wait for the blackness to settle;
everything in its path is cured of their pain.

The crowd advances its intuition,
The heart and head will fight.
The mind tries its submission
On which path is right.

Time does not always heal all
Of the wounds we hold within
Rather time tends to reveal all
Of the happiness and sin.

family.

always there for you?
love you?
support system?
without a choice, you are assigned
forever.
friends are a yes or no,
yet family is unasked.
what if yours is different?
what if you are different?
you spend your whole life trying to impress,
trying to change.
but never good enough.
holidays are a time of loss.
not in the literal sense,
just missing out on what could be.

home does not exist.

you can bond with friends,
but it is not a mom nor a dad.
filling the hole in your heart
with achievements and others,
but never acquiring the love like
father's and mother's.

pursuit of status can move rocks;
pursuit of knowledge can move mountains.

many rocks can build a small mountain,
but mighty mountains may hold many rocks.

I feel a way I have not felt
In a very long time,
If ever.

Some inner peace has found me,
And this is a feeling I cannot
Sever.

They say after it rains
Comes a rainbow,
But when it rains,
It pours.

It’s been pouring
And pouring.
And pouring.
My rainbow sleeps
And snores.

Why do we try
When failure is inevitable?
Because the moments of success
And peace
And joy
Make every tear, scream, and heartbreak
So, so worth the pain

I’ve gotten into knitting lately,
Even though I’m young.
It is a calming activity,
Accumulating rows one by one.

The relaxing part is the perseverance.
It takes time to make progress,
Yet once you finish,
The product is worth it.
You created it all yourself.
That feeling of achievement
Doesn’t leave me in stitches,
But in awe of the world.

You use up your resources,
The ball of yarn gets smaller.
Soon you will need a box
To contain all of your passion.
You yearn to create,
To achieve,
And to accomplish.

Repetition and persistance
Can reward all who try.
Even though a stitch may be lost,
Or the needles clang together,
You can always get back to it.
Giving up is pointless.

The note.
A high one.
Almost a screech.
Top of the range,
Just barely music.
Always reaching for the edge.
Yet another person comes along,
Five notes higher.
Skillfully mastered,
They get recognized.
I tried my best,
But it’s never good enough.

She poured rain
And he boomed lightning.
In their deepest pain,
The sky was frightening.

The vulnerable meeting
Exposes a new ray of light;
Now clear sky and bright sun
Burn with a fiery might.

Add some rotation
Or some heavy winds
And the storm may resurface
Just as the clear sky begins

But the elements are strong
And held well together
Sky and sun may learn
To create gorgeous weather

Tears in my eyes
Knives in my heart
But a smile on my face

Like cheetah with gazelle,
I only strike if you’re in my sight.
If you disappear,
So does my hunger.

Water.
Vital for life,
Yet full of danger.
Many uses.
To live, entertain, cleanse.
And we are so obsessed.

Perhaps it’s due
to the everyday drown.
Take a dive
into a weightless world.
Fully immersed,
Surrounded by the weight.
The inescapable drown.
Believe in safety,
Then drown again.
A constant drown.
A constant weight.
Sinking deeper,
Until there is no other option
But to drown.

Reach the air after.
A mirage,
An illusion.
Just to distract
From yet another drown.

On the surface,
All seems calm.
It begins
As a wave.
On a beach.
A land divided
Between the safe
And the unknown.
It is beautiful,
Carefree.
Interacting, changing,
Steadily increasing,
And breaking.
A healthy wave.
Full of beauty,
Yet the danger lies beneath.

The drown-
A silent struggle.

Raindrops fall,
Collect together.
An overflowing bucket.
The weight is too heavy.
Side view of bucket?
All is well.
Hidden inner buildup
Until the eventual spill
From the weight.

Rain gets heavier-
A blur.
Vision is lost.
Everything is lost.
But maybe,
Just maybe,
Hope remains.

The rain will slow
And continue its cycle.
It is to return,
But cleansing for now.
Carving the path,
Weathering the rock
That blocked.
Healing the dry grass.

A newness fills the air.
A new appreciation
For the times before the rain.
Life and vitality.
Water isn’t wrong-
Just has many uses.
Distrust in water?
A loss of hope.
But yet,
Water is always right.

Nature is underrated.
It is,
To most,
Merely outdated.

In the age of technology,
We only care about the screen.
We lost our love
For the luscious green.

Silly dreams,
Thoughts of perfection.
No mistakes,
No errors,
Just the perfect dream.
The realization hits me.
It is just a dream.
No more.
Reality hits hard.

If I play my music loud enough,
Can I deafen myself?
Deafen myself from the evils of the world,
From the insults,
From the lies?

Can I blast what I love
To block out all the misery?

The cat:
A wonderful creature.
She creates a throne
Wherever she lies.
She stares at you
Through her crystal eyes.

She sleeps all day
Without remorse.
She lives to eat,
Not eating to live,
Of course.

A loyal creature,
She follows you around.
Her ears perk up
At every little sound.

We went to the doctor
To hear the news
Of a birth.
He told us it would come;
We had nine months.
And within those months,
The birth took place.
Birth of the treatments,
Of the bills,
Of an afterlife.

R.I.P.
An acronym.
Rest in peace.
But it stands for more:
A rip of the heart,
The tear of someone
From the earth,
The shredding of
An entire lifetime.
But we must learn,
Eventually,
To let our loss
Rest in peace.

Not every poem
Will be a masterpiece.
Not everything I write
Will get others to
Be in awe and cease.

But I can try
To craft my words
In my own best way,
And continue to write
Every single day.

I can try to write
What others want,
Or I can just write
In my brain's
Special font.

It matters not how
Well-liked my words are,
Or how many people
Praise me from afar.

I just wish
To pour out my thoughts,
Before my body
Gives in and rots.

he took this cold, icy heart,
and turned it to water.

with one touch, he releases
the tension held within.

a frown that won't budge,
flips.

without moments together,
sweet turns sour.

I tore a hole in my favorite socks.
It’s a fitting action.
It happened the day of another hole.
One in my heart.
A hole of someone missing.
My favorite.

I can try to replace those socks
With another pair.
One that also brings me joy.
But I will never love them as much as the original;
It will never be the same.

I can try to sew the socks.
But they won’t be as beautiful.
They won’t be the same.
There won’t be that raw beauty.
It will be forced,
A quick fix for a problem that can return.

Why did they have to break?
Was it I that was careless?
Were they not strong enough themselves?
Or maybe both?

I love those socks;
I always will.
I’ll remember the good times I had with them
Before we went our separate ways.
They treated me well while we were together,
And I am grateful for that.
But for now,
I must say goodbye.

Everyone was speaking English,
But here I was,
Unable to understand.
I know not which language I was speaking,
But my tongue couldn't form the right words;
My mind couldn't wrap around theirs.
As their words flowed like a majestic river,
Mine remained trapped in my head,
Shut in a barricade,
And so I remained silent.

Nobody knows me.
Some know parts of me,
Others know other parts of me.
But the puzzle has never been fully assembled.

They think they can tell me who I am,
But they’re just telling me who they want me to be.
I wish they knew,
But I like the mystery.
I like interacting,
But solitude is best.

If I give away too much,
It’ll hurt more.
I won’t be myself
Because I’ll have given all of myself away.

I want to hop like a rabbit,
Shine like the sun,
Bloom like a flower,
Inspiring everyone.

But yet I hide like a hermit crab,
Or a turtle in its shell,
Burrow like a groundhog,
Deeper into hell.

I took a stroll through the unknown,
Expecting the truth to lay before me.
I know now that the beauty of the mystery
Is far greater than the satisfaction of its truth.

The candle burns to the bottom,
Its flame steady yet powerful.
Along the way,
It releases its beautiful scent.
Alas!
It is gone.
The passion,
The beauty,
The fascination.
The wick has burned.
Wonderful while it lasted,
The candle has ended.

There is simply no right
Or wrong in the world;
It is all a matter of what
You have seen yourself .

I try to distract myself
With stories that are made up,
With hobbies that waste time,
With friends that don’t know.

But yet,
My thoughts can’t avoid it.
They can’t avoid you.
I wish the stories were stories of us.
I wish we could have hobbies together.
I wish I were spending time with you,
Not them.

I try to distract myself from my problems.
I try to not complain.
I try to keep the emotions in.
But it’s so hard.
I want to remain strong,
But the battle rages on.
My armor is falling apart.
I’m falling apart.

The people in your life
That you choose to keep around
Should exude trust and love,
Keeping your secrets safe and sound

I never thought I could feel.
I thought I was above emotions,
Feelings,
Love.

Until I met you.
You made me feel such rich emotions:
Joy, happiness, fortune.
I never knew I could truly love
Until you came into my life.

I fell so hard for you.
You made me so happy,
And every moment I spent with you
Was just never enough.
I never thought I could experience
Happiness as great as that.

And then,
I experienced the other side.
Now I can experience the loss,
The pain,
The emptiness.
Because without you,
That’s all I can feel.

I never thought I’d experience such hurt.
I thought I could be strong,
And not get attached.
I was wrong.

I used to think that such feelings
Were exaggerations.
Cries for attention.
But now,
It’s my life.

Gliding past the crowd
Reaching for within
Because peace cannot be found
When conflict’s sure to win

It is much easier to ignore one’s presence
Than to fall prey to their shadow.

a flicker, a glow.
happiness when you see it,
plants thriving in its presence.

a candle flickering,
the sun shining,
a bulb glowing.

a glimpse in what
was formerly dark
and impossible to experience.

light gives us life,
and shows us Earth's beauty.

the spark of a lightning bolt,
invoked insomnia from blue screens,
misguided sea turtles.

it creates a bright life for all around,
yet it blinds the careless.

do you see me?
lying here, waiting for someone.
am i invisible? do you know who i am?
it's like i am camouflaged, hidden from the world.
always everyone's second choice.

I know it must be I
that picks myself up.
But if only someone else can see me in 20/20.
I think that some have glasses,
But then they take them off.

Blurry, out of focus,
Is it a cataract?
Or is it how I act?

The little feline stares at me,
Longing for food or play,
Or just longing to be?

She finds awe in the smallest of things
Such as how paper crinkles
Or how a jingle bell rings.

Her curiousness outweighs her,
Yet every time she falls
She still lets out a purr.

I want to be free, falling,
Watch me as I fall.
But the strong and steady
Of the ground brings comfort.

Dancing with the world
And its effervescent glow
The drowsy ground we stand on
And the communicative flow

it's crazy how loud the world is,
yet so silent.

if you open your ears, there's much to hear.
yet, it's easy to block it out.

distractions: some good, some bad.
school for some, work for others,
maybe a relationship, maybe mothers.

you truly focus on one moment at a time.
is it the past? the future?
but the present is fine...

why must we worry?
why be anxious?

there's silent beauty all around.
the sunrise, a squirrel scampering.
the noise, however, can overcome it.
what if we stopped and appreciated the quiet?
our heads would calm, and stop the riot.

much to do,
and much to say.
places to travel
every which way.

whenever you're lost
in what to do,
listen to your heart
and follow no one but you.

i try so, so hard to please.
put others' needs before my own,
so they can breathe while i wheeze.

while i am sick
and they are well,
i give them heaven
while i'm going through hell.

i feel the guilt
when i care for myself,
so i put them on a pedestal
and give myself the bottom shelf.

You’re the one who risked the world
But within the sturdy fortress it doesn’t matter