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Heartbreak Motel Dec 2015
I don't know what is so addictive about him,
What's the thing that make me crazy?

I don't understand why i can't forget him,
He is like everyone else.

Don't get me wrong,
He is flawless,
The most beautiful human I have ever seen.
But he have nothing special, nothing more, nothing less.
Tall, dark hair, brown eyes.

Beauty isn't everything,
I still don't know why i can't ******* forget him.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
I don't believe in God.
I don't think there's an hell or heaven.
But i think there's something bigger than us.

I don't believe in destiny.
I don't believe we are made for something or for someone.
But i think that at some point we get what we deserve.

After all that pain he put me through,
I think i deserve him.
I deserve his love.

I think he's broken and afraid.
Actually i don't but i want to believe in this.
I do believe his deserve my love and my soul.

I want to believe than he hurt me now to love me harder soon.
But i can't believe in that.
I'm not a believer.
I don't have faith.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel May 2015
I was born with big blue almond eyes,
Blue as the sky,
Blue as the ocean.

But by growing up,
My eyes became grey.
They lost their color as if theys reflected my sadness.

They have lost their color when I lost the happiness.
But sometimes we can see the blue in the grey.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
Which one is the worst,
Having our heart broken or broke the heart of someone else?
Hard question.

The one who breaks a heart has his heart broken?
Or it is just pure wickedness.
Do we even do it on purpose?

Your heart is broken so by revenge you break the heart of somebody
who gives you his?
Or is it rejection?
Protection?
Fear?

We don't want to feel this way anymore so we close our heart, to anyone, coldly, without guilt, for our own good?
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
Today the sky is grey,
And your eyes are brown.

Tomorrow the sky will be blue,
But your eyes will still be brown.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Jan 2016
Let me hurt myself, leave me alone.
Don't watch me while i'm doing this.
If it's not physically, it will be mentally.
I don't know which one is worse but,
My body seems to heal faster than my heart.
Don't watch my wrist, it's pointless, i don't cut them.
I'm smart enough to not look this desperate.
I wont show you were i open myself, but trust me, i hide it very well.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Nov 2015
I must look crazy,
It's for sure.
You drives me crazy,
I can't blame you,
Look at you.

You make me feel this feeling that we mention in all that book i have read.

You drives me crazy,
Crazy for you,
Simply crazy.

I don't know how long this feeling last,
I don't know if i want to know it anyway,
I'm already insane.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Apr 2016
If you want me, honey, you have to ****** me.
Not with your words, even if you make me laugh.

If you want to ****** me, sweet baby,
You have to make me forget about the rest of the world.
Take me far away, where the sun set.
Tell me about your life, tell me your weaknesses.
To ****** me you must be vulnerable, at my mercy.

Lay down  with me, and looks at stars.
Don't say  that they shine for me, I already know that sweetheart.
Tell me your darkest secrets, your buried desires,.
Confess me your fantasies and what you want to do with me.

Show me something new, a forbidden thing, a dangerous adventure.
I will follow you, I will.
Take me to your world, all we got is this moment.

If at the end of this, I estimate to know your soul deep enough,
I would kiss you.
One chaste kiss, but full of promise.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Apr 2015
We were in the same room.
Full of people,
But I had the impression that we were alone.

Your eyes was on me and mine on you.
I felt this desire growing in me.

I wore this blouse, the one that you adored.
And in a daydream,
I remembered the number of times that you undressed me.

Then I came back to earth,
Telling me that everything was over.

But if everything is over,
why I still feel your perfume on me?
Why your voice is still in my head?

I want you and I crave you so much,
Even more by remembering what we had.

We were in same rooms,
But nothing was as before.
Your eyes was on me and mine on you.
But in your look, everything was cold.

We were in the same room, full of people,
and i looked away from you.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Mar 2016
Look at me,
I want your eyes all over my body.

Touche me,
With your mind, not your hands honey.

Kiss me, eat me, bit me,
I crave it baby.

I bet i look good in that white shirt of yours.
I bet you look good on your knees,
Begging.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Nov 2015
I had this dream last night,
Or maybe it was a nightmare,
I don't know anymore.

It was cold, my teeth clicked, my body trembled.
I was in a forest I think, it was dark, I was in the middle of nowhere.
I raised my head towards the sky, it was black, i could only see a few stars.
I moved forward, without knowing where i was going but my body warmed little by little.
My hands were not cold anymore and I felt the sweetness of the sun on my face.
Then I saw him.

He was there,
Flawless like always.
Standing feet in the sand in front of the ocean.
He looked my way and my name went out of his mouth,
He called me,
His voice was sweet like vanilla is.

I moved forward to him without any hesitation.
He took my hand,
Leading us towards the water.
Little by little my body was submerged in this cold liquid.
The sun had disappeared,
the sky was filled with black and dense cloud.
He took a big inspiration and dived into the depths of this ocean.

He had disappeared.
As the sun and the heat.
Leaving me alone in this cold water in the middle of nowhere.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Oct 2015
I envy those people who feels quite intensely.
Fear, pain, anger, love.
I want to be in love.
I want to feel all that this feeling brings.
The before, the moment and the after.

I want the fear of the first times,
Heart beating and hands shaking.

I want to miss him so much that i can physically feel it.
The fear of losing the other one, becoming paranoiac.

The anger when it's over, wanting to break everything.
And the pain when the memories go back,
The heavy feeling of everything which collapses.

I want to feel everything,
I want to be lost and desperate to want another person.
I want the feeling of wanting to scream his name so loud
and with so much hate that his heart would break instantly.

I want to love someone with all my soul and to die of an heartbreak.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
The sky is grey, my thoughts are dark.
The wind blows but nothing moves.
I feel empty, I am certainly empty.

When the night falls on the city, it takes my happiness away.
I feel alone at midnight, i feel alone all the time actually.
Even surrounded i feel alone, and empty, and sad.

The seasons change, time goes by, i know that i'll feel better soon.
It's always like that, right?
I need it, i have to believe it, everything will soon get better.
I fill this permanent space with temporary.
Music, wine, thoughts, I become sleepless.

Is it like that that we know that we increased?
When everything becomes dark and heavy.
I'm loosing myself, i ****** me from the inside, i change too fast.
Is it necessary? Do i have to **** my old self to reborn?

I can't see tomorrow, or the next day, or the next month.
I only see yesterday and before.
I have to wake up from this, that can only be a bad dream.
Too calm to be a nightmare, but too violent to be a sweet dream.

Give me some wine,
Play some  music,
Says nothing,
I don't want to know.
Knowledge is power, except in my case.
I am lost and empty.
I am sad and no myself.

I need this revival, I don't want to have suffered for nothing.
Tell me that it wasn't for nothing.
Life must have something for me.
I don't ask much,
I just want to be myself again.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Apr 2016
I want to live inside a black and white TV.
Magazine and Studebaker Commander.
Country houses and housewifes.
Jewels and red wine.

Roses shall fade, as well as my beauty, but my anger is eternal.

You knows what we say about past? That it's better where it is.
I beg you, take me there. But if you can't...
As Judy Garland said,
"This is the end of romance, I'll go my way by myself, love is only a dance"
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Apr 2015
They told me i wasn't good enough,
So i try to be a better person.

But somehow i must have failed,
Because everything get worse by minutes.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
Thinking about him is now a habit.
A bad habit.

I scream his name in my head until having headache.
I always have headache.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Mar 2016
Maybe it's how we know it,
Maybe forgetting someone isn't that hard.
Maybe being over someone is easy, after all.

Being busy all day, busy enough that our thoughts don't have time to disturb us.

Claim that everything is fine, that you did't think of him today, that you are cured of him.

Lie to yourself, until you start believing it.
Repeat that you deserve better, until you mean it.
Crawl back to him until the humiliation eats you from the inside and then cut any contact by fear of doing it again, again and again.
If that should have worked, that would have worked.

Maybe this is how we forget somebody.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
I hurt myself today to see if i still feel,
I focus on the physical pain the only thing that's real .

I tried to **** all the memories,
But i remember everything.

You are now someone else,
But i am still the same.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Apr 2015
You once told me
"I'm not the good guy you think i am"
And all i could anwser was
"I knew it since the first time we talked"
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Nov 2015
"You could seriously, date someone who is going to commit to the army in less than a year?"

This question haunts me. I know that you don't really asking it to me.
You just want to dissuade me from wanting to be with you.

But the answer is yes, yes i could.

You don't imagine the sacrifices i would make to be with you. And if that means not seeing you for months, so be it.
We'll find a way back to each others.

I have never wanted to live a normal life, so go on.
Says everythings you want to say but nothing will make me leave.

If you asked me this question to test me, I hope i have made a success.
Because nothing will make me leave.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Nov 2015
I have to stop.
All this has to stop.
Writing about  you, about what I feel for you.
That doesn't help.
I have to forget you.
You are my worst almost.

I have to move on.
We were nothing anyway huh.
Everything was in my head, right.
Get out of my head, my heart and my soul.
I will not write about you anymore.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Dec 2015
I tried, I swear that I tried.
But I can't stop thinking about you,
Writing on you.

I have so many things to be said,
Things I would like to tell you,
But I can't.

I thought that stop writing about you would help me to forget you,
Would help me to get you out of my head but it's worse.

Everything I don't  write plays in my head like a melody on repeat,
It's unbearable, intolerable, that drives me crazy, makes me loose sleep, you're toxic, and the worse part is that i love it.

I give up this fight between my head and my heart,
Between the reason and the madness,
Between the reality and my dreams.
I give up the idea to forget you,
Anyway, the more I try the less it works.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Dec 2015
I like thinking what my life would have look like if we were together.

I like imagining you in the evening, in my bathroom, shirtless, brushing you teeth before going to sleep. I would came from behind, wrapping my arms around you, kissing your back.

I like imagining me waking up next to you.
Your sleepy angel face, dreaming about god knows what. Your body rolled up in my sheets, your smell on my pillows.

Imagine all this is a ******* torture, a ******* sweet torture.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Dec 2015
I think you would see me differently if you could see me as I am.
I think you would think differently if i told you the things I have to say.

But here I am, doing nothing to have you back in my life,
Expecting that you will come back,
But you won't.

We were over before even being something.
I met my soulmate but you didn't met yours.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Dec 2015
Today was the day,
Tonight is the night.
I'm forgetting you,
You are my past,
A memory.

I can feel it, my heart is empty now, you destroyed me.
I'm ready, you're not good for me.
I don't want to hear about you anymore.*

You're just a player,
I thought i could win the game,
But, I don't wanna play anymore if at the end
I loose myself.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Dec 2015
"You're a nice girl and i like you a lot but..."
*******, *******, FUUUCK YOUUU.

I don't want to be the nice girl,
I wanted to be the girl that haunt your nights,
The one that gives you insomnia.

But go on, try to find a girl like me,
Someone who wait 9 month in the hope that something could happen.
Someone who take news of you everytime,
Someone who is sincerely interested by you, who want to know you,
Someone who don't want to just *******.

I hope that now, when you'll hear my name,
You'll think of me as the girl you broke,
The one that loved you but you rejected.

So come on, go find better than me,
And go burn in hell with her.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Jan 2016
I forgot your face and the sound of your voice.
I forgot your smell of your perfume and even the color of your eyes.

I think less of you, you know.
I'm almost cured but,
You leave this mark in me, a scar inside of me.

Your words, the way you used to look at me,
the interest you had for me.

I fell too easily and now I understand my error.
I treated you like a man but you are still a little boy.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Jan 2016
I think that I should have done it, just once.
I should have given way and let everything go.
I complicated things too much by thinking.
I should have called you.

Just for a night, or even a day, just one moment, only the two of us.
Even if our intentions were different, we shared the same desire for each other.

Skins against skins, eyes in eyes.
There is nothing more intimate.
I wanted to kiss each part of your body,
Savoring the contact of your hands on me,
Feeling your hot breath on my neck.

I wanted to please you,
I wanted to show you how you made me feel.
The painful temptation, the desire.
The need of a physical contact with you.
I'm still burning for you.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Jan 2016
I still thought of you, you know.
It's hard to see how easily i fell for you.
I would have done everything for you.

I still thought of you, but it's different now.
I don't see you anymore as the one that i want,
Or the one that my body desire.
You are a memory among heights of memories.

I thought i was broken,
That you broke my heart, but no.
You took my heart and threw it in the deep of the oceans.

I am a body without heart, because of you, i'm heartless now.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Apr 2015
You came in my life,
crawling like a snake.
You infiltrated yourself in my head,
you make me fall for you.
You made your way into my veins and affected my heart,
All this to ***** me better with your poison.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Jan 2016
Bring your poison, i'll bring cheap red wine
I need to forget you, i want to forget everything.

I'll drunk text you when my bottles will be empty,
I'll call you when my tears will create an ocean.

You ordered coffee but you end up loving tea more.
I know i wasn't good enough for you.

Give me some pills, i crave leaving this world.
I can't live here if i can't have you.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
I still fantasize over you, every night, i fall asleep thinking about you.
Your eyes, your hands, your lips and the color of your skin.

I fantasize over you, in a chastest and most prudish way.
I imagine your eyes on me and your heavy breath.

I visualize your movements in my head,
The way you're walking and your presence which no one can deny.

In my dreams i remember your body, your arms.
In my dreams  i can smell your perfume.
And this smile, oh lord this smile...

I still hear your voice which play in my head like a melody but your words cut as a knife.

You cut my heart in hundreds pieces, and you throw them in the deeps of the ocean with your darkest secrets.

All i wanted was to fix you but you choose to break me instead.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
You are the deepest scar i have,
You are the one that don't want to heal.

God knows i have a lot but,
You're the one that won't stop bleeding,
The one that hurt the most.

When people will ask me how i got this one,
I'll tell your name.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
I feel like i'll never be over you.
Even if i don't see you anymore,
I have all this memories that haunt me.

I'll probably never see you again and i know it's better this way but, When i'll forget the details of your face, the tone of your voice,
What am i gonna do?

I already feel like you were a dream,
I don't want to forget this,
I don't want to forget you.

This is the most painful feeling i ever had but i love it,
It's the only connection that i still have with you.

A beautiful, destroying pain.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
You like your girls wild in white lingerie.
You like them pretty and strong.

I like my men tall with dark eyes.
I like them kind and mysterious.

You said i wasn't your type, it's true.
I'm a broken doll in black lace *******.
I'm too soft and too sensitive.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
I feel like dying, slowly, days after days.

You are not in my life anymore,
You can't hurt me anymore but,
Your absence is the worst thing you could do to me.
The more i think about it, the less i'm ok.

Give me some news, i have to know.
I pray for a message from you but, i bet you deleted my number...
But i need it,
I NEED IT.

Give me a sign,
Give me something,
Cause i'm dying.
I'm dying without you.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
I met you last year, at this date.
I was sad and you came in, when i needed it the most.
You were my hurricane, my hope.

But here i am today, one year later.
I'm still sad, but today it's because of you.
Because you left me.
I'm now empty.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
I understand what you don't want me.
Trust me, i totally get why.

But.
I believe that people change.
I believe that i will change, for better.
I believe that you'll change too.

I want you to regret, at some point, your decision.
I want you to regret leaving, when i'll become someone better.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Mar 2016
I'm nostalgic of the time when i could see you, contemplate you, the details of your skin, your imperfections and the perfect lines of your face.

Thinking of you hurts, as a deaf noise, a hole.
I forgot your beauty spots and the shade of your eyes.
The sound of your voice is lost in my memory and your words are swindle.

The hardest is to remember you and forgetting you at the same time.
Worse, i don't know what's true and what i have dreamed anymore.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Apr 2016
It's been one month since my last letter.
This month, I did not think of you, I really succeeded that.
Sure there is still certain things which reminds me of you, some songs, but I succeeded.

Your name leave no more that bitter taste in my mouth,
It doesn't play in repeat for hours in my head,
Your voice is a distant memory and your perfume is forgotten.
I still think of you sometimes, but it's different now, i am cured of you.

One day you will understand that I was made for you,
That I would have made you happy,
I would have give you everything of me, even  my soul.

One day you will regret,
You will think of it, vaguely, that it would have work, if you tried.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Apr 2015
Come on, kiss me and please shuts up.
Don't leave me alone, i'm cold.
Come on, and stay quiet.
Why lie? We are alone.

To be honest, I'm not here to be liked.
I'm hurts and i'm afraid,
I'm not here to love you either.

I saw the depths of your heart,
That leads us to nothing.

Leaves lit for the ghosts.
We are good in your home, come on.
If you want to play we can expect the worst.

Glasses of wine.
I have nothing to tell you.
Come and kiss me.
Please.
That leads us to nothing.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Apr 2015
Love is not beautiful when i think about you.
You are in the arms of an other one and I hope that you'll come back.

She must be pretty.
And I am alone,
Sighs after sighs.

If I dared,
I would be laughing at her,
It's to tell you...

It's not beautiful,
Alive or dead.
Love give me headhache.

And here I am,
Crawling in front of your door.

Love is not beautiful, when all my memory tells me,
You are in the arms of an other one but I don't believe you.

That one wasn't able to say I love you in your drunkenness,
Stop telling me she's yours.
Come back, ****, come back.

The time when I dare,
to make you the promise once again,
That we love each other in a click,
words of love in the violin.

And I haven't head for that, it's pathetic.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel May 2015
I'm not in love with you, because love isn't suppose to be this way.
I'm attracted by you, your angel's face and your greek god body.

I'm fascinated by your state of mind, and your way of looking at me.
I want to step in your head to understand everythings that makes that you are you. I want to spend whole nights speaking about the world and our existence with you.

But I am not in love with you.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel May 2015
I want to fall in love with your words,
your smile,
your hand above mine.

I want to remember your eyes,
your body,
your favorite perfume.

I want to feel your breath in my neck,
my hand in your brown hair,
my lips on your cheek.

I want to know your fears,
you dreams,
your past,
talk about your futur.

I want to be your friend,
your lover,
the person you call in the middle of the night,
i want to be yours.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel May 2015
If we see each others again in 5 years, iwould, doubtless, have the courage to tell you how much you hurt me.
Unintentionally certainly, but still.

I would have the courage to tell you how much i wanted you. All my body and my soul desired you. Only your presence would have been able to solve all my problems.

And if we see each others again in 5 years, I hope that you will regret.
Probably not, but still.

I hope that you will regret your attitude as much as I regret my attachement to you. My mind will be emptied of any image and thought of you.

By leaving my life, you will have quite solved my problems.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel May 2015
It's my fault i guess, get attached too easily maybe.
I shouldn't i know, but it's not like i can control it.

When i saw you, i knew you were special and i hoped that you were the one. But that's *******, life isn't a fairytale and prince don't exist.

Maybe i was blind because of perfect lined face.
That was new for me, you seemed interest and i was flatted.

But still.
At the end of the day, you don't care and i'm hurt.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Nov 2015
My mother once told me, "the one" is the one who makes you confortable and happy. And not the one who intimidate you or makes you tremble.

That *******, "the one" doesn't exist because people change too much and so quiclky. Who might be the one today could be everything you hate tomorrow.

I don't care if you makes me tremble like a paper,
Or if my heart race when i'm near you,
Or if you makes me loose my words,
You make me feel things i never felt before with anyone,
It's all that matter to me.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Nov 2015
I always thought that you was heartless, emotionless, or at least that you hid it well.

I always saw you as someone sure of himself, someone who don't need nobody, a whole.

But, what if i was wrong?
What if you were even more broken than me?
What if your heart had burst into so many pieces that you can't find it anymore?

I wonder what happen to you to be that way now.
Who is the cause of that?
What she made to you?
O.P
Heartbreak Motel Feb 2016
I'm lost,
Profoundly lost,
Desperately lost.

How do we know what road to take?
How do we guess what choice to make?

Every things, every words, every act,
Influences the future and depends on the past.

Do we make a choice by instinct, by experiment or by chance?

How do we know that we are on the right track?
How do we know if we must continue or turn back?

I am lost,
I am too young to be lost,
I should move forward but I move back.

I move back to see better,
A general vision on this situation,
My life, my future, my past.
The more I move back the less i see.

I don't know.
I know nothing.
I want everything.
I want nothing.
O.P
Heartbreak Motel May 2015
I want you,
I want you in so many way, i can't even explain.

Sometimes,
I just feel like i want to be in your arms, all nights and stay still.

But others times,
I desire you, i can feel it all over me, i need you.

Is it love or lust?
Maybe both after all.
O.P
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