I want you,
I want you in so many way, i can't even explain.

Sometimes,
I just feel like i want to be in your arms, all nights and stay still.

But others times,
I desire you, i can feel it all over me, i need you.

Is it love or lust?
Maybe both after all.

I was born with big blue almond eyes,
Blue as the sky,
Blue as the ocean.

But by growing up,
My eyes became grey.
They lost their color as if theys reflected my sadness.

They have lost their color when I lost the happiness.
But sometimes we can see the blue in the grey.

Thinking about him is now a habit.
A bad habit.

I scream his name in my head until having headache.
I always have headache.

I'd like to travel the world before my death.
Even if it means bleeding too much, for see if the earth is round.

Die on one year, maybe two, to rest me a little.

Then to return by conquering as long as my teeth hold these places.

And if I made nothing of me, no matter, I sing in front of your door.

And if you don't open me, let the devil takes me.
It doesn't matter to me,
I've taste the flavors of the paradise.

I want to live inside a black and white TV.
Magazine and Studebaker Commander.
Country houses and housewifes.
Jewels and red wine.

Roses shall fade, as well as my beauty, but my anger is eternal.

You knows what we say about past? That it's better where it is.
I beg you, take me there. But if you can't...
As Judy Garland said,
"This is the end of romance, I'll go my way by myself, love is only a dance"

Maybe it's how we know it,
Maybe forgetting someone isn't that hard.
Maybe being over someone is easy, after all.

Being busy all day, busy enough that our thoughts don't have time to disturb us.

Claim that everything is fine, that you did't think of him today, that you are cured of him.

Lie to yourself, until you start believing it.
Repeat that you deserve better, until you mean it.
Crawl back to him until the humiliation eats you from the inside and then cut any contact by fear of doing it again, again and again.
If that should have worked, that would have worked.

Maybe this is how we forget somebody.

I never get what i want,
I'm not the lucky type.
Maybe i don't fight hard enough.

I'm not one of those pretty girls with the world in their hands.
I'm the one on the corner of the room, waiting patiently.

I don't want to wait anymore,
But i'm tired of trying everytime.

I don't know what is so addictive about him,
What's the thing that make me crazy?

I don't understand why i can't forget him,
He is like everyone else.

Don't get me wrong,
He is flawless,
The most beautiful human I have ever seen.
But he have nothing special, nothing more, nothing less.
Tall, dark hair, brown eyes.

Beauty isn't everything,
I still don't know why i can't ******* forget him.

I changed.
I change since he is not in my life anymore.
And i realised all the things i was making just to look good for him.

I was wearing less makeup because he told me one day he didn't like it,
But the truth is that i love makeup and wearing a tone of things in my face makes me happy.

I was being calm like a good little girl because he liked his girls like that,
But normally i'm really loud and i do at least 5 stupid things per day.

I even started working out because he like when girls are in shape,
But i love my little potato body.

He made me feel like i wasn't good enough to be with him,
Like i had to change things to look good for him.

He made me feel insecure about myself again after so many years trying to
love myself as i am.

I don't know enough word to write you a poem.
I don't know the words that can affects your heart or your soul.

All I know is,
When I think of you, the words escapes me and a blurring whirlwind seizes my spirit.

But I don't have the words to describe it.
I don't have the words to express it.

I'm lost,
Profoundly lost,
Desperately lost.

How do we know what road to take?
How do we guess what choice to make?

Every things, every words, every act,
Influences the future and depends on the past.

Do we make a choice by instinct, by experiment or by chance?

How do we know that we are on the right track?
How do we know if we must continue or turn back?

I am lost,
I am too young to be lost,
I should move forward but I move back.

I move back to see better,
A general vision on this situation,
My life, my future, my past.
The more I move back the less i see.

I don't know.
I know nothing.
I want everything.
I want nothing.

Look at me,
I want your eyes all over my body.

Touche me,
With your mind, not your hands honey.

Kiss me, eat me, bit me,
I crave it baby.

I bet i look good in that white shirt of yours.
I bet you look good on your knees,
Begging.

On my bed, i eat small sugar hearts.
The window is opened, i can feel the wind blows in my back.
It's soft and relaxing.

Sat on my bed, i eat small sugar hearts
Small white heart, small pink heart.
I am in my underwears, i feel the heat of the sun on my body.

Laying on my bed, i eat small sugar hearts.
Old music play on my record.
The wind makes float my curtain above me.
It almost feel like summer time.

I eat small sugar hearts.
Small sugar hearts, pink as your lips, white as my soul.

I'm nostalgic of you.

I want to be with you,
At 03 am, when the world sleep.

Drinking wine, naked on our appartement,
Eating pasta while loud music playing.
Just the two of us, being messy as we are.

Having fun of nothingbecause as long as we are together
everything is fine.

You once told me
"I'm not the good guy you think i am"
And all i could anwser was
"I knew it since the first time we talked"

Bring your poison, i'll bring cheap red wine
I need to forget you, i want to forget everything.

I'll drunk text you when my bottles will be empty,
I'll call you when my tears will create an ocean.

You ordered coffee but you end up loving tea more.
I know i wasn't good enough for you.

Give me some pills, i crave leaving this world.
I can't live here if i can't have you.

I must look crazy,
It's for sure.
You drives me crazy,
I can't blame you,
Look at you.

You make me feel this feeling that we mention in all that book i have read.

You drives me crazy,
Crazy for you,
Simply crazy.

I don't know how long this feeling last,
I don't know if i want to know it anyway,
I'm already insane.

I'm so mad at me, for being attracted by you.
I'm so mad at me, for thinking about you.
I'm so mad at me, for always watching you.
I'm so mad at me, for loving you.

Because you'll never feel for me what i feel for you.

We were in the same room.
Full of people,
But I had the impression that we were alone.

Your eyes was on me and mine on you.
I felt this desire growing in me.

I wore this blouse, the one that you adored.
And in a daydream,
I remembered the number of times that you undressed me.

Then I came back to earth,
Telling me that everything was over.

But if everything is over,
why I still feel your perfume on me?
Why your voice is still in my head?

I want you and I crave you so much,
Even more by remembering what we had.

We were in same rooms,
But nothing was as before.
Your eyes was on me and mine on you.
But in your look, everything was cold.

We were in the same room, full of people,
and i looked away from you.

Today the sky is grey,
And your eyes are brown.

Tomorrow the sky will be blue,
But your eyes will still be brown.

The night is silent,
But so loud at the same time.

I stay quiet,
But in my head my thoughts are screaming hard.

I can feel me becoming crazier seconds by seconds.

I listen to them telling me i'm not strong enough,
I would never get rid of it,
I worth nothing.

I envy those people who feels quite intensely.
Fear, pain, anger, love.
I want to be in love.
I want to feel all that this feeling brings.
The before, the moment and the after.

I want the fear of the first times,
Heart beating and hands shaking.

I want to miss him so much that i can physically feel it.
The fear of losing the other one, becoming paranoiac.

The anger when it's over, wanting to break everything.
And the pain when the memories go back,
The heavy feeling of everything which collapses.

I want to feel everything,
I want to be lost and desperate to want another person.
I want the feeling of wanting to scream his name so loud
and with so much hate that his heart would break instantly.

I want to love someone with all my soul and to die of an heartbreak.

The sky is grey, my thoughts are dark.
The wind blows but nothing moves.
I feel empty, I am certainly empty.

When the night falls on the city, it takes my happiness away.
I feel alone at midnight, i feel alone all the time actually.
Even surrounded i feel alone, and empty, and sad.

The seasons change, time goes by, i know that i'll feel better soon.
It's always like that, right?
I need it, i have to believe it, everything will soon get better.
I fill this permanent space with temporary.
Music, wine, thoughts, I become sleepless.

Is it like that that we know that we increased?
When everything becomes dark and heavy.
I'm loosing myself, i ****** me from the inside, i change too fast.
Is it necessary? Do i have to **** my old self to reborn?

I can't see tomorrow, or the next day, or the next month.
I only see yesterday and before.
I have to wake up from this, that can only be a bad dream.
Too calm to be a nightmare, but too violent to be a sweet dream.

Give me some wine,
Play some  music,
Says nothing,
I don't want to know.
Knowledge is power, except in my case.
I am lost and empty.
I am sad and no myself.

I need this revival, I don't want to have suffered for nothing.
Tell me that it wasn't for nothing.
Life must have something for me.
I don't ask much,
I just want to be myself again.