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"wardens" poems
In 1963 Mahalia prodded the good reverend... “tell them about the dream Martin” transfixed on a yonder time he recounted prophecies of a near future from a mountaintop he foretold a history of a people returned again to gardens of paradise thriving in friendly democratic soils overflowing with a colorful biodiversity governed and nurtured with a vibrant sunshine of divine justice welcoming all weary sojourners... from the pinnacle of a Birmingham jail cell Martin burst the bars with the clarion peel of a golden trumpet proclaiming the gospel of liberation to the wardens of unholy gulags “free yourselves” the horn emblazoned in streaking lightning across the sky cowed by prophetic truths of righteousness, shamed by lies the pride of arrogance bespeaks to placate the intransigence of dominion, we prayed the the walls of racism, bigotry, prejudice would tumble down as Martin lit the Battle of Jericho today our country’s profit driven gulags overflow with people of color as justice lingers on death row begging for a plea bargain of a life sentence in solitary confinement... from the ****** Sunday Bridge in Selma, Martin offered a prayer for peace, rebuking the dogs of war admonishing the tenders of blood thirsty machines to beat the gears of war into pruning hooks and plowshares advocates of peace hope to steer the plow across the battlefields of acrimony to sow rich seeds of reconciliation, planting new gardens where the rich yields of peace will be consumed by all God's children yet these gardens remain unplanted, untended and defiled by the machinery of war that churns churns, churns... Martin last dream occurred on a balcony in Memphis witnessing to the divinity of those considered untouchable after a hard days work collecting a city’s refuse he insisted all labor was worthy of dignity and the economic justice of a fair wage Martin looked squarely into the eye of the gun sights of those who thought differently he never blinked, he dreamed Martin formed his last testament to an angry nation yearning for the reconciliation of stability and peace, unmoved that it’s violence, exploitation and bigotry only stoke bonfires of acrimony and division, condemning the reprobate principality to the bleakness of a smoldering discontent and continued generations of recurring nightmares… Martin's dream continues in awakened hearts sojourning on Music Selection: Mahalia Jackson Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho MLK Day 2014 Oakland
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Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 3:38 PM UTC
Martin Dreamed (WIP)
In 1963 Mahalia prodded the good reverend... “tell them about the dream Martin” transfixed on a yonder time he recounted prophecies of a near future from a mountaintop he foretold a history of a people returned again to gardens of paradise thriving in friendly democratic soils overflowing with a colorful biodiversity governed and nurtured with a vibrant sunshine of divine justice welcoming all weary sojourners... from the pinnacle of a Birmingham jail cell Martin burst the bars with the clarion peel of a golden trumpet proclaiming the gospel of liberation to the wardens of unholy gulags “free yourselves” the horn emblazoned in streaking lightning across the sky cowed by prophetic truths of righteousness, shamed by lies the pride of arrogance bespeaks to placate the intransigence of dominion, we prayed the the walls of racism, bigotry, prejudice would tumble down as Martin lit the Battle of Jericho today our country’s profit driven gulags overflow with people of color as justice lingers on death row begging for a plea bargain of a life sentence in solitary confinement... from the ****** Sunday Bridge in Selma, Martin offered a prayer for peace, rebuking the dogs of war admonishing the tenders of blood thirsty machines to beat the gears of war into pruning hooks and plowshares advocates of peace hope to steer the plow across the battlefields of acrimony to sow rich seeds of reconciliation, planting new gardens where the rich yields of peace will be consumed by all God's children yet these gardens remain unplanted, untended and defiled by the machinery of war that churns churns, churns... Martin last dream occurred on a balcony in Memphis witnessing to the divinity of those considered untouchable after a hard days work collecting a city’s refuse he insisted all labor was worthy of dignity and the economic justice of a fair wage Martin looked squarely into the eye of the gun sights of those who thought differently he never blinked, he dreamed Martin formed his last testament to an angry nation yearning for the reconciliation of stability and peace, unmoved that it’s violence, exploitation and bigotry only stoke bonfires of acrimony and division, condemning the reprobate principality to the bleakness of a smoldering discontent and continued generations of recurring nightmares… Martin's dream continues in awakened hearts sojourning on Music Selection: Mahalia Jackson Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho MLK Day 2014 Oakland
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138
Somewhere, there is a labyrinth, where people wander around and around, suffering, Unwilling contestants of a cruel game, where the Winner doesn't live to tell the tale—to claim the prize. It is Wicked and unrelenting. The wardens of this Prison are ruthless, indiscriminately casting their victims into the labyrinth, Just to see what they're made of. Around and around they go, trying to get out of This endless ring of suffering, Trying to regain control of their lives from this Monstrous power. They search to find out where the end is, Around and around, bewildered marionettes, hugging the Walls, as cold as death. But they cannot find the exit to this labyrinth. They cry out and curse this labyrinth Of suffering. They don't want to know what they're made of. They want to stop the agony and the suffering. "Around and around is not the answer to this," They finally cry like hungry animals, "Straight and fast is." And so they go, straight and fast, to break away from the Horrors they're frantically attempting to escape. The Frigid walls, stretching endlessly upward, collapse as they blast through the labyrinth Like siege engines. Around and around their heads, like drunken birds, images of Their lives whirl by. Desperate to put an end to their sweat and suffering, These prisoners blindly race toward the light in the distance. But this Solution does not completely end the suffering. That's not how the labyrinth is. Look around you. What you see is Filled with raging fists, starving mouths, and the Cries of those drowning in their own suffering. This world is a world of Recurring pain, winding around and around like a labyrinth. Look around you and answer me: What is this? This Is The Labyrinth Of Suffering. We all are stuck suffering, flies in a web. We imagine ourselves escaping, hiding this Bleak present under a fabricated future, but the labyrinth does not begin or end. It just is. So around and around we go. Welcome to the labyrinth. Let's see what you're made of.
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May 30, 2011
May 30, 2011 at 9:21 AM UTC
The Labyrinth
Somewhere, there is a labyrinth, where people wander around and around, suffering, Unwilling contestants of a cruel game, where the Winner doesn't live to tell the tale—to claim the prize. It is Wicked and unrelenting. The wardens of this Prison are ruthless, indiscriminately casting their victims into the labyrinth, Just to see what they're made of. Around and around they go, trying to get out of This endless ring of suffering, Trying to regain control of their lives from this Monstrous power. They search to find out where the end is, Around and around, bewildered marionettes, hugging the Walls, as cold as death. But they cannot find the exit to this labyrinth. They cry out and curse this labyrinth Of suffering. They don't want to know what they're made of. They want to stop the agony and the suffering. "Around and around is not the answer to this," They finally cry like hungry animals, "Straight and fast is." And so they go, straight and fast, to break away from the Horrors they're frantically attempting to escape. The Frigid walls, stretching endlessly upward, collapse as they blast through the labyrinth Like siege engines. Around and around their heads, like drunken birds, images of Their lives whirl by. Desperate to put an end to their sweat and suffering, These prisoners blindly race toward the light in the distance. But this Solution does not completely end the suffering. That's not how the labyrinth is. Look around you. What you see is Filled with raging fists, starving mouths, and the Cries of those drowning in their own suffering. This world is a world of Recurring pain, winding around and around like a labyrinth. Look around you and answer me: What is this? This Is The Labyrinth Of Suffering. We all are stuck suffering, flies in a web. We imagine ourselves escaping, hiding this Bleak present under a fabricated future, but the labyrinth does not begin or end. It just is. So around and around we go. Welcome to the labyrinth. Let's see what you're made of.
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39
Sometimes I think of selling pictures of my feet online Then I immediately think of the state of my feet; The state of me. After conforming to your dress code of black dress shoes and shattered dreams For 11 long years. For 11 long years I sat in rows of grey white and black Perfectly poised in the presence of our educators Our guardians Our wardens. If we deigned to relax, Laugh, Breathe, They would find more to give and give and give Until we became nothing but frayed nerves And therapy bills That should be addressed to our parents And then I think I can’t sell pictures of my feet online, How could I correctly value them If I don’t correctly value myself?
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Sep 30, 2021
Sep 30, 2021 at 2:41 PM UTC
lament for foot pictures on the internet
*you're haunting me still why? vibrations from your exit still lingering in my bones they crack and quake grating against themselves why aren't they healing? these wounds that I have been so persistently nursing why can I not mend myself of this? the needle is too dull the thread is fraying alone in this room with your ghost still sitting next to me gently touching my hand, laying its head in my lap to play with its hair smiling laughing a perception not the reality I keep my heart in a box under the bed next to treasured memories of a memory I want to burn it all I want to give it back to you I want to keep it it makes me sick when its dark I wish to travel to far away mystical places dance among the stars on cotton candy roller skates yet all I get is you your face fetal position, clenched jaws, toss and turn tortured still in a state meant for rest dream catchers strategically placed they're meant to save me from you ward off and expel YOU yet my soldiers of the night my dream wardens they're no match for the slyness of you you slip through as if made of air and elegance replaying all your proudest moments of my misery ive never felt such indifference toward someone I want you gone out of my head I wish I could peel you from my skin wring you from my marrow shed the skin of this serpent's memory wake to a new day finally feeling good finally feeling anything finally feeling*
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Jan 12, 2014
Jan 12, 2014 at 12:21 AM UTC
star light, star bright, first star i see tonight...
These whitewashed walls scream out my discontent, The faces of inmates line the corridors, impassive and unimpressed, I bang on steel locker doors, but I hardly make a dent, My words are not replied to, and my screams go answered, It doesn't matter though, they are silent screams of aid, They resound through these hallways like the echoes of a gale, The cold of locker steel is an ever foreboding constant. They line the hallways, like the vigilant sentinels of a jail, And I can help but think, how familiar the two seem to be, And how in one a perfect illusion is created, of being free, These whitewashed walls are filled to the brim, With students and inmates, angels and demons alike, Teachers and wardens stalk these halls, hidden behind their hollow faces, Bullies and inmates swarm these halls, hidden behind unfamiliar faces, In these whitewashed walls, there are blackened souls and empty holes, Holes where hearts used to be, and coal where souls used to be, These whitewashed walls are alive, and they bear witness to it all, And here these whitewashed walls remain, through our rise and our fall.
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Jul 28, 2015
Jul 28, 2015 at 7:46 PM UTC
These Whitewashed Walls
*There is a prison in your head, with ice-cold walls named bitterness, with red-hot wardens called hatred, and sharp-jagged bars made of disinterest. There is a prison in your head, a prison you know fairly well, a prison visited quite often, a prison life is always hell. There is a prison in your head, which grows upon suffer, and shrinks down by relief, which doesn't grant releases, as long as you haven't belief.*
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Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 4:22 AM UTC
Imprisoned
Oh me, oh my, I hate to sound trite, but I guess in the end we all die, so turns out to be true whatever way. Oh me, oh my, I hate to sound trite, but I could really use a lullaby. Great Papa, he left. Great Mama, so close. Mama, in the deep end. Sister, she ghost. What's love got to do with it? It just so happens, in my world it's all. I am conditioned to serve in the name. No matter how hard servants seek servants, the wardens and the masters pick up on the scent, come running over the distant hills to close in on the **** I am conditioned to serve in the name. Here they come running to stake their claim.
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Mar 16, 2019
Mar 16, 2019 at 10:57 AM UTC
Illegal *** Helmet: "Hanging In An Alley"
She’s a writer. She’s doing time, handcuffed in the dead of night, locked up in prison with just the lonely voices of her mind. And the demons of her past are wardens, floating in corridors, keeping her in sleep deprived misery. She’s a writer. Every word she scrawls is a letter to her broken heart, because with all due respect, it is an idiot. It falls for the wrong people, it longs for the wrong places. It shatters and she is forced to resuscitate it daily. She’s a writer. She didn’t choose it, every poem and story is a risk. Work is accomplished by the light of constellations and ink is just the blood of her soul pouring out on a page. She is brave, in one of the quietest possible ways. She’s a writer. And that’s how she stays alive.
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Oct 31, 2015
Oct 31, 2015 at 3:12 AM UTC
She's a Writer
What i am to them is an ornament. My value is determined by the scales they use. Freedom is a dream that looks far from reality. Freedom is for the full who's destined for poverty. A puppet of their play, they control me with strings. Make me dance the mariet and clap hands and their so called brilliance. A pawn in their game, they expect me to win. Feed me steroids of spiritual wisdom and belief, to become the warrior destined to free them from their doom and misery. The mascot they use to boost their fame. Expect me to tell the world, they're the reason i am this way. A well disciplined, obedient good mannered boy. Parents and teacher. The wardens of teenagers. The tormentors of my soul.
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Sep 24, 2010
Sep 24, 2010 at 3:17 AM UTC
Parental guidance
I used to worry that they'd send you away to a life of imprisonment because they hated you so for no reasons they could explain I used to worry because their tread marks were in our driveway anytime they needed someone to try and pin things on though you were never less than honorable polite, personable, my genuinely good brother I never used to worry that they'd one up my worries and send you somewhere further away than prison I never used to worry that the forces meant to uphold law and justice to serve and protect would walk blindly past the line of no return, to botch their expected standards while watching you slip away I never used to worry that there was an evil force within some people that could destroy the glue holding our family together, then again I was so young so naive, to think that people were instinctively good that people, having families of their own would never purposefully tear apart another's but I don't suppose they ever thought of me and your kin, or beyond that need to bring you down I never used to worry that the system would fail allowing guilty parties to walk free, to have families of their own; to not even recognize the fault and to protect the ones who took you away I used to worry that they'd try to send you to a life of imprisonment, and in the end they did send you away, but it is a place where I cannot visit and instead it is us, who love you so, imprisoned in what we call life, where the fences are the breaths I take, the steps I walk, the beats of my heart the walls that confine me and separate me from the world are the memories and lost time, and of only knowing you through my childhood eyes and the guards and wardens are the haze which clouds my thoughts, unable to still hear your voice or see your face in my mind and my day of release will only come when I walk through the gate, past the fences to the afterlife, where my life will finally begin again.
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Feb 8, 2011
Feb 8, 2011 at 9:30 AM UTC
the clink
I used to worry that they'd send you away to a life of imprisonment because they hated you so for no reasons they could explain I used to worry because their tread marks were in our driveway anytime they needed someone to try and pin things on though you were never less than honorable polite, personable, my genuinely good brother I never used to worry that they'd one up my worries and send you somewhere further away than prison I never used to worry that the forces meant to uphold law and justice to serve and protect would walk blindly past the line of no return, to botch their expected standards while watching you slip away I never used to worry that there was an evil force within some people that could destroy the glue holding our family together, then again I was so young so naive, to think that people were instinctively good that people, having families of their own would never purposefully tear apart another's but I don't suppose they ever thought of me and your kin, or beyond that need to bring you down I never used to worry that the system would fail allowing guilty parties to walk free, to have families of their own; to not even recognize the fault and to protect the ones who took you away I used to worry that they'd try to send you to a life of imprisonment, and in the end they did send you away, but it is a place where I cannot visit and instead it is us, who love you so, imprisoned in what we call life, where the fences are the breaths I take, the steps I walk, the beats of my heart the walls that confine me and separate me from the world are the memories and lost time, and of only knowing you through my childhood eyes and the guards and wardens are the haze which clouds my thoughts, unable to still hear your voice or see your face in my mind and my day of release will only come when I walk through the gate, past the fences to the afterlife, where my life will finally begin again.
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49
The liquor doesn't bite anymore, it comes over me, in a flowering, a thunder-wave. I have dreams of killing him, with a chainsaw and a rose, the rose for you to place over the tendrils of his separated neck. Or smashing his face into a stone lion's mouth, then forcing him, inch by wriggling inch into a granite maw, trapped forever behind the vicious wardens of stone canines and cement incisors. I usually dream drunk, too wild in myself, to roam the day sober. So, work is drunk; eating is drunk; breathing is drunk; Orange juice spiked, ready to go. Meatloaf dinner; date with milk, ***** and sweating at five. Can't you see the carnage? The flotsam; The raft of bodies of stupid, pale men who give out their positions to hateful women.
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Sep 1, 2012
Sep 1, 2012 at 11:13 PM UTC
Hate, Floating.
Mother Nature is a nihilist sitting with friends Around a poker table in the dew drop inn Playing Nasty Canasta and the loser draws a limb On a voodoo hangman, the cut of her kin The high-wire committee say she’s way out of line So they’ve sent in a crack-team of their most earnest faces To blow 40 shades of blue, red and lime From the very corridors our Mother paces She croaks through the smoke “the first sons a novelty The rest are just relics of muscles unclenched Too smart for their own good and that doesn’t bother-me But the reaper is hungry and hustling for rent” Lackeys line the lawn, flunkies on fleek To cover the crack of her chunky cheeks “To stake lives may well seem immoral and bleak But to play for cash prize seems horribly cheap For a Lady of her esteem” But the crowd spoke, she hung up the wardens trunchbull Left the skeleton key within reach of the cells “They’ve aired their opinions and I’ve had a cunt-full Let the hungry ******** impeach themselves I’m sitting this one out” “And I’ll hide, while my dead snake wriggle persists, On Elba with hairy pits, freckled wrists, Openly practicing romanticists And other hapless things that can’t exist In these times” Every second Sunday, the search resumes-led By a dawn-chorus of confetti festooned-plebs She can dance the devils limbo cos she’ll not be presumed-dead While we’ve Holy Grail Package Holi-vows to renew-said The green eyed usher on the door The newsstand screams “Mother Nature was a fascist Sher natural selection was the **** manifesto” And they’re pedalling placebo to the shell-shocked masses While the editor shoehorns a scotch into his amaretto Yeah the world has been orphaned and the orphans smothered But go easy on her sordid soul cos that’s our mother, after all
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Jun 5, 2018
Jun 5, 2018 at 6:26 PM UTC
Mother Nature Was a Fascist
Mother Nature is a nihilist sitting with friends Around a poker table in the dew drop inn Playing Nasty Canasta and the loser draws a limb On a voodoo hangman, the cut of her kin The high-wire committee say she’s way out of line So they’ve sent in a crack-team of their most earnest faces To blow 40 shades of blue, red and lime From the very corridors our Mother paces She croaks through the smoke “the first sons a novelty The rest are just relics of muscles unclenched Too smart for their own good and that doesn’t bother-me But the reaper is hungry and hustling for rent” Lackeys line the lawn, flunkies on fleek To cover the crack of her chunky cheeks “To stake lives may well seem immoral and bleak But to play for cash prize seems horribly cheap For a Lady of her esteem” But the crowd spoke, she hung up the wardens trunchbull Left the skeleton key within reach of the cells “They’ve aired their opinions and I’ve had a cunt-full Let the hungry ******** impeach themselves I’m sitting this one out” “And I’ll hide, while my dead snake wriggle persists, On Elba with hairy pits, freckled wrists, Openly practicing romanticists And other hapless things that can’t exist In these times” Every second Sunday, the search resumes-led By a dawn-chorus of confetti festooned-plebs She can dance the devils limbo cos she’ll not be presumed-dead While we’ve Holy Grail Package Holi-vows to renew-said The green eyed usher on the door The newsstand screams “Mother Nature was a fascist Sher natural selection was the **** manifesto” And they’re pedalling placebo to the shell-shocked masses While the editor shoehorns a scotch into his amaretto Yeah the world has been orphaned and the orphans smothered But go easy on her sordid soul cos that’s our mother, after all
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38
The drones made of skin and bone The drones with no minds of their own The drones entrapped in their homes tied to their tvs and cellular phones I see their pride in ignorance both jailer and keeper Who are enjoying this sentence as the bankers run the meter In a prison they were fooled to build and gladly accepting To pay their homage to the guild who commanded its erecting As the wardens stuff your faces with superstition and their pockets with the source of their fruition The drones programmed to obey The drones believe all that they say The drones Right from the womb taught to march to the tune straight into the tomb The drones keep questioning me The drones will not leave me be The drones made an outcast of me for failing to extinguish my humanity
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Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 4:55 PM UTC
The Drones (Stockholm Syndrome)
...reminds me of the days of hurry up and wait and tis not always a good thing either oh i am perfectly aware that i think too much i spend 27 minutes in the shower pondering the meaning of life and 3 minutes wash rinse and repeating... the next right thing would be FLUSH I walked into my 1st mtg, looked around and said " Oh f%#k! I'm home." the fact that you think that there is nothing special about you is what makes you extremely special which is rather refreshing in a world full of braggarts! ok to the point--- this was a week after I had turned 43 and at that time I did not know that jail wardens could lie and I was told "you are going to end up with 43 years in prison by the time you get convicted of all the charges" and I'm not too whoopy at math but it didn't take long for me to add 43 + 43 and I knew "ain't no way that I'm going to want to be in prison until I'm 86 years old!" so it made perfect sense at the time... no, this has a happy ending, I'm here to post on the internet! my mom had passed a yr and a half before and now I was in jail with a plastic trash bag over my head and was seconds away from death when I heard a voice as audible said "Knock it off, Lainder-Belle!" and it scared me so bad I untied the jail pants that were over the bag and gasped for air and cried cuz I knew I was going to have to live...
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Jan 15, 2015
Jan 15, 2015 at 6:36 PM UTC
Days of Hurry up and Wait
The world is but a prison, harsh and cruel. It has two very different wardens, Life, and Death. The first of which is cruel, and the second is kind. Millions of guards watch over it, Guards including disease, and emotions. Inmates are the inhabitants of the planet, They have no chance of escaping. We have no chance.
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Apr 3, 2013
Apr 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM UTC
All Imprisoned
It’s too late to go back, My love, To when you said time Would stand still, When the sun sat behind The trees at dawn, When the leaves fell For the autumn And drank the dew Off the sappy grass meadows That rolled out beyond your toes. It’s too late to go back To when you said Always, Always is, always will, And now it once was, Red moons and black petals In distant sight. It’s nighttime now. Although your face sits in the sky Like the moon, twinkling gray Somewhere beyond the stars, The day is much too young To wash away the dust Or guard your eyes against The lips of a dying love Like a raw cut waiting To scab, to mold over the memories Lining the blood you tried to stanch. But it’s too late now, Too late to lie in the trees Red with sweet clay Sometime in the mourning light, Too late to count minutes As they’ve wrinkled past years, Too late to tell yourself That you can still stitch together The broken seams below the patches Of the skin you’ve shed. Time bought you long ago, My love, And sold you To the wardens Of burgeoning eternity. Their horns wail loud And only you can hear their sound.
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Jun 26, 2016
Jun 26, 2016 at 8:58 PM UTC
Wardens of Time
They didn't call it privilege Mum said its called responsibility they didn't call it money Dad said its called overdraft  from the bank then they made you sign a contract that ties you to your education for the next twenty one years with a rider that contains a Clause that you are hanged from the mango tree in the back garden if you fail any exams They weren't called older sisters they were Prison wardens controlled by Mum dare misbehave and its solitary with no meals for your *** They weren't known as older brothers they were sadistic Policemen who had no Rule book They was no sense of Entitlement there was ****** do as you're told till you leave my house and dare bring it to disrepute and watch yourself swing from the mango tree there weren't alarm clocks they was be on time in the morning for school or go see Rev Slattery for six of the best And then after all these you meet the snowflakes whose mums do it all wash, cook, iron and nurture without a mango tree and these snowflakes signed no Contract to pass exam and they have no Rev Slattery with a cane, who would be recognized by them as the Pervert he was and would now be doing Ten years at HM pleasure. they have sisters and brothers that are mates and have chips and Maccy D on tap and a system that gives their parents money especially for them not that overdraft that my father had from Barclays And these airhead snowflakes and sociopaths point ***** Maccy D fingers and fish and chips mouths tell fairy Tales and fables about Silver spoons and Privileges about a sense of Entitlements about Greed and opulence Proving that comfort and easy life causes Brain Damage.....
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May 10, 2019
May 10, 2019 at 6:29 PM UTC
The perceptions of imperfections
They didn't call it privilege Mum said its called responsibility they didn't call it money Dad said its called overdraft  from the bank then they made you sign a contract that ties you to your education for the next twenty one years with a rider that contains a Clause that you are hanged from the mango tree in the back garden if you fail any exams They weren't called older sisters they were Prison wardens controlled by Mum dare misbehave and its solitary with no meals for your *** They weren't known as older brothers they were sadistic Policemen who had no Rule book They was no sense of Entitlement there was ****** do as you're told till you leave my house and dare bring it to disrepute and watch yourself swing from the mango tree there weren't alarm clocks they was be on time in the morning for school or go see Rev Slattery for six of the best And then after all these you meet the snowflakes whose mums do it all wash, cook, iron and nurture without a mango tree and these snowflakes signed no Contract to pass exam and they have no Rev Slattery with a cane, who would be recognized by them as the Pervert he was and would now be doing Ten years at HM pleasure. they have sisters and brothers that are mates and have chips and Maccy D on tap and a system that gives their parents money especially for them not that overdraft that my father had from Barclays And these airhead snowflakes and sociopaths point ***** Maccy D fingers and fish and chips mouths tell fairy Tales and fables about Silver spoons and Privileges about a sense of Entitlements about Greed and opulence Proving that comfort and easy life causes Brain Damage.....
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39
held up in gutterwork masterpieces, half a shard of torn and ragged paper edged on, where once it bore, proud and in eager definition, a reminder of little importance or, a note of sweet insincerity or, the last refuge of an eviscerated mind; and, lost to entropic freedom, no-body would care to ever even want to begin deciphering those smears. not that they could, anyway. the death of parking lot culture, they say, is all down to the skin on the teeth, of a couple earthquake-gowned security wardens, and the irresistible clamour of city lights: "just gotta get away, get outta this place" you say, when you haven't slept a real night in three or so months, at last count, in the best-case, whereas the real tragedy is the drizzle, that you're sure will never, ever, cease to fall, inside of you, even though you keep telling yourself, it's still just a lie. it's all just a storytime fabrication. it's all just waiting to fall apart. and you're just hoping it's sometime soon.
0
Dec 1, 2012
Dec 1, 2012 at 7:52 AM UTC
moderna
My freedom of expression, Or, freedom to exist... I've had to suppress, any implication, That I was free, IT was free, Or that I could rest. My obligations became innovations, My "freedom" was a serious test. Shut my mouth. Silence my thought. Burn holes in my own sky... To survive, Just to... Get by. There's no blood on the hand of the devil begging for a gun... But, the blood of my son, My thoughts, my thighs, My sun, my sky... I'm paralyzed. I idealized and fantasised ...a metaphor... Something in-between dead and alive. But this is literal. Cry freedom for a body that fails. An existing breath that bent steel. Locked in the prison with 10 wardens. Slave to a super power. And I'm furious you sent me a bill. I ate your currency. I'm... Fed... Up. Your devil is free to stare, poke fun and share ...the misery... ...my suffering... I'm paralyzed. This is literal.
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Apr 8, 2017
Apr 8, 2017 at 4:29 PM UTC
Literal
Two-faced. The emptiness pockets up my chest Like a night thief I've grown accustomed but weary Candor-laced, the confidante As time flapped its wings I shrank in prison The little wardens beside me Kept me back with whispers To the cell that has been Licked clean with blood and tears I am afraid of something I cannot even name Sleeping like doom in a crib of calm I am afraid of two faces Taking turns on the stage Of my reeling I am afraid.
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Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 5:56 AM UTC
Two Faces
Of the silence in this mind Life once taken isn’t sacred Staring at a mirror with one’s self, half-naked After learning to accept the pain, there’s was nothing to escape it One could make it better than fate ever did   Can’t understand what one was doing; just escaping Jailing one’s self with their own personal hate and Hiding away from the mental wardens that one stayed with Discarding one’s self to remember that one had a very hand in The destruction to the very world one was contained within One believed it’s right, so the argument is always **** off-* *go fix your life before you act like you’re a **** God.”* It’s a long way from accepting all the blade does But it never fails and the lines eventually fade off Could be a saint and come to one’s defense Or shut the **** up and watch from the ******* fence Worn this mask so long, one tends to forget to fake it Disillusioned to one’s self and all the things that make it More lines to breathe across the skin appear soon A novella of pain with no words to read through Handling a smile like accessory to hide instability Always showing through, but truly just a shell of ‘me’ Despite the calm you see Through laughs and jeers One still feels lost and uncontrolled Everything warm when one’s heart turned cold No chance to correct it, just craving an exit Took the knife last night, now the demons are rested Took the chance last night, now dried and decrepit Relapsed again tonight, and one’s mind is repressive Wrote about a horrid time, and now it’s all depressive Happy stars and pussycats, unicorns and other **** ©2015 Neal Emanuelson
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Mar 1, 2015
Mar 1, 2015 at 1:14 PM UTC
Mask of Lies (Relapse)
Of the silence in this mind Life once taken isn’t sacred Staring at a mirror with one’s self, half-naked After learning to accept the pain, there’s was nothing to escape it One could make it better than fate ever did   Can’t understand what one was doing; just escaping Jailing one’s self with their own personal hate and Hiding away from the mental wardens that one stayed with Discarding one’s self to remember that one had a very hand in The destruction to the very world one was contained within One believed it’s right, so the argument is always **** off-* *go fix your life before you act like you’re a **** God.”* It’s a long way from accepting all the blade does But it never fails and the lines eventually fade off Could be a saint and come to one’s defense Or shut the **** up and watch from the ******* fence Worn this mask so long, one tends to forget to fake it Disillusioned to one’s self and all the things that make it More lines to breathe across the skin appear soon A novella of pain with no words to read through Handling a smile like accessory to hide instability Always showing through, but truly just a shell of ‘me’ Despite the calm you see Through laughs and jeers One still feels lost and uncontrolled Everything warm when one’s heart turned cold No chance to correct it, just craving an exit Took the knife last night, now the demons are rested Took the chance last night, now dried and decrepit Relapsed again tonight, and one’s mind is repressive Wrote about a horrid time, and now it’s all depressive Happy stars and pussycats, unicorns and other **** ©2015 Neal Emanuelson
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33
I found them buried in my sleep, says Doris, all feelings for him, the love turned sour, the anger boiling over into his destruction. Now I sit and wait for the hangman to come and take me off to my last farewell. The warders play cards in the cell; they invite me to play, but I can't focus, my mind elsewhere, but no where. “Best play and occupy your mind, Doris,” they say kindly, giving me a look as if school friends inviting me to play. I lie on the bed and wait; my mind turning over each minute like a puzzle; the end-game unknown, but known. Then a panic grips me and I sit up as if suddenly my whole life becomes real for the first time and I choke on the reality of it. They drop their cards and run over to me: “can't have you choking on us now, Doris,” they say kindly, but alarmed. One puts her arm about me like my mother used to do when I was hurt. “Let's get you up,” they say, “can't have you dying on us, yet.” I stand between them like children playing a new game. My life is so real now that I see each aspect of it so large and colourful as if for the first time. There is a knock on the door and the wardens look at each other then at me: “ Steady girl,” one whispers, the other opens the door and he comes in with a priest: the hangman. He is not a brutal man, in fact he looks somewhat like a grocer: well trimmed and clean hands, yet formal, professional. He takes my hand and gently puts it behind my back and handcuffs me as if in a new game. Then he takes me gently along to the other door and opens it and there is the rope hanging still. The warders are out of sight; the priest mutters words. I am blindfolded and into a dark; words surround me. I stand gazing into darkness, and my father is there, his hand reaching for me, and I reach out to him, and the darkness becomes light and so ends the long night.
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Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 3:41 AM UTC
So Real 1959.
I found them buried in my sleep, says Doris, all feelings for him, the love turned sour, the anger boiling over into his destruction. Now I sit and wait for the hangman to come and take me off to my last farewell. The warders play cards in the cell; they invite me to play, but I can't focus, my mind elsewhere, but no where. “Best play and occupy your mind, Doris,” they say kindly, giving me a look as if school friends inviting me to play. I lie on the bed and wait; my mind turning over each minute like a puzzle; the end-game unknown, but known. Then a panic grips me and I sit up as if suddenly my whole life becomes real for the first time and I choke on the reality of it. They drop their cards and run over to me: “can't have you choking on us now, Doris,” they say kindly, but alarmed. One puts her arm about me like my mother used to do when I was hurt. “Let's get you up,” they say, “can't have you dying on us, yet.” I stand between them like children playing a new game. My life is so real now that I see each aspect of it so large and colourful as if for the first time. There is a knock on the door and the wardens look at each other then at me: “ Steady girl,” one whispers, the other opens the door and he comes in with a priest: the hangman. He is not a brutal man, in fact he looks somewhat like a grocer: well trimmed and clean hands, yet formal, professional. He takes my hand and gently puts it behind my back and handcuffs me as if in a new game. Then he takes me gently along to the other door and opens it and there is the rope hanging still. The warders are out of sight; the priest mutters words. I am blindfolded and into a dark; words surround me. I stand gazing into darkness, and my father is there, his hand reaching for me, and I reach out to him, and the darkness becomes light and so ends the long night.
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91
There is no light in the yard, but there´s been a change in the weather. Silently, old walls strive towards the ether. The restless souls, the wardens, they come and they creep, striving to rob my own kind of their sleep. I am driven, drifting, directed astray, by the ghouls, the gnomes, those who vanish by day. Until the bleak morning breaks I am condemned to abide in my head, the haunted house, where the phantasm reigns.
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Jan 26, 2021
Jan 26, 2021 at 9:31 AM UTC
The haunted house
Knock on my door, when the wardens not here. I swear I'd let you in, let you turn me inside out. . I swear we could do anything, but right now you're nowhere. Knock on my door, before the warden gets here.
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Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013 at 8:26 PM UTC
Knock
A nation so starved for love so willing to strangle it out of any space they can grasp but too selfish to give any of their own Afraid there will be none left A people so oblivious to those around too caught up in our own lives to realize some of us don't come from loving homes of warmth but prisons with blood wardens with cold eyes No some of us would rather die and some of us have searching for that one moment to change it all That one second that proves were not transparent but just alive as everyone For a hand to reach or heart that holds Just a moment in the story of our life
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Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014 at 11:47 PM UTC
The Story of Our Lives