I'm not going to the pizzeria today
Hell no, I'm not going to that pizzeria today
To go in and scrub the dishes
The bleach is burning my skin
And insect crawling on the food
While my time is just wasting
I refuse to wash another bin or tray
I'm not going to the pizzeria today

I'm not going on that sinking ship today
Forget that, I'n not getting on that sinking ship today
We have a sushi place across the street
Another pizzeria two doors down
They also own the bagel shop between us
And when bakery opens, I won't be around
I'm sorry, but I certainly can't stay
I'm abandoning this sinking ship today

I'm resigning from this bad business today
That it, I'm done with this bad business today
The boss ignored the IRS for months
They came, emptied the registers and shut us down
Sometimes there's no money in the bank
So every now and then all our checks bounce
I work for six ours for $8.25, I expect to get paid
That's it I've had it with this bad business today

I'm giving up on this lost cause today
Yes, I'm giving up on this lost cause today
It fell apart when they switched hands
Two parents bought it for their sons
And they plowed it into the ground
One's on coke and the others just dumb
When they're parents come in they have nothing to say
I'm giving up on this lost cause today

I'm not going into work today
I can not go into work today
Where the employees could care less but still try their best
And the boss act like two year old
Where we get bi weekly pay and everyday is slow
And the pizza in the case is cold
I'm giving in my two weeks notice and going on my way
There is nothing that can make me go to that godforsaken pizzeria today

As a baby,
You learn so much
How to eat without spilling it on yourself,
How to talk real words,
Words that have meaning

Before you get to go to school
They expect you to be able to perform these skills
Before they begin to teach you new ones

By the time you walked out of elementary school,
You learned how to
Write in kindergarten
Honing that skill in second grade.
You learned how to read in first grade,
And began to read chapter books in third.
You learned multiplication in third grade,
And long division in fourth.
You learned how ecosystems work in fourth grade,
And made one in fifth.

In middle school
You learned how to love,
You learned what it felt like to want to hold someone’s hand,
You wanted it so badly you could feel how soft his hand was,
You could imagine yourself wrapping you arms around his body
As he spins you around in the air.
You learn what it feels like,
To have your heart broken
To be able to do nothing but sit on the couch in you P.Js
And eat ice cream while you cry.

In high school,
You learned how to be an adult,
How to get a job,
Going through the application process
And going to an interview,
You learned how to get into a good collage,
How to cheer when the form came telling you,
That you were accepted into the school of your dreams

In collage,
You learn how to love someone
And know deep down in your heart that he is the person
You are going to marry.
You learn what it is like to be on your own in the world,
What it is like,
To have to pay your own bills,
To have to worry about how you will pay your rent,
And what is like to have a job with a steady paycheck.

As you go into life,
With a degree
And a steady pay check,
You think that you a have stopped learning
You of course are wrong,
You will never stop learning.

Tamla Motown,
my soccer team Tottenham
for so many sweet memories,
my old girlfriend Stella ... I know
I should have Stella,
I know,

tigers,
brown bears & the lowly centipede,
Charlie Chaplin, that old ****** son of a gun,
Laurel & Hardy, just because ...
Tarkovsky movies ... Toshiro Mifune,

anything with custard,
apple pie,
fresh bread,
Indian folks for the way they
shake their heads for yes,
Indian folks for their god
that charming Ganesh,
books,

Sci-fi movies ... lots of them anyway,
children laughing,
children playing,
& thus playgrounds,

serious folks who pay attention,
Anarchists ... of course,
my old grannie for her
attentions,
English food when it actually
works,

trees,
birds, bees,
old Chinese folks up at dawn
to collect cans,
& my Facebook friends,
take care you all now.

I used to say thay if there was a god, he must be an *******. But...
This isn't the work of an *******.
This is the work of something much more dangerous.
This is the work of something with good intentions,
That thinks it can mold things for the best.
The people who destroy the most in this world aren't the evil, or the *******,
They are the idealists who grow too faithful in their ideas
And start doing things "for the greater good".
God isn't an *******.
God is a child.
And he never learns.
And we pay.

Arrival final destination,
Welcome to Huntsville you see,
Enter by the back door,
Then you go to eat,
Traditional fare, if you like,
Burger wrapped in blood,
The blood red of ketchup, matches the blood on your hands,
You are young, dressed in virtual innocence,
Do the crime, you do the time,
Is it worthy of eternity,
Since break of day you wait,
Waiting for impending death,


6 P.M
It is the evening of your darkest day,
For vile sin, with life you pay,
What thoughts traverse through your young head,
As tears trickle and pleas long gone,
For clemency calls rolled onto deaf ears,
You were the big man so they said,
A victim of cruel circumstance,
Collared by forensic drift,
Evidence grabbed,
Poor boy,

At a cost of $86.08,
more than you made on that fateful day,
Led to the gurney in shackles and chain,
Chains weighed heavier than conscience,
Conscience ****** your frightened brain,
Are you moved for your final confession,
Ideal for the papers for in a press release,
The last words he did say,
'Thank God for giving me life, see you soon,
Sir, For it's my final day,
Of course, I forgot you know that anyway',
I'm Sorry, so sorry, Father forgive me,

Waited almost a lifetime for this his final day,
The row of death so welcoming,
The great escape maybe,
Visage of executioner,
Looks deep into your soul,
While you stare vacantly into his eyes,
The ultimate sensation of pain as the needle quickly enters your vein,
As nerve endings and your body die,
Reflection of immaturity,
Bad life, sad life, consequence of situation,
No life had, no love lost!
By ladylivvi1

© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)

If you never really know the real me..
How hollow and empty life will be..
hungry for power, vanity and vice,
Soul is lost, an empty shell left to pay the price..
Cold, bitter, distant, depleted..
No meaning, no beauty, no love, no light..
Feeding off the weak like a vampire in the night..
Break the rules and hide begin your lies..
For your evil there is no disguise..
As you lay your head to sleep,
The sinking void begins to creep..
Tell yourself your in control, life is good and it's okay..
Then pray you'll believe it the next day..

Blessed with the opportunity
to help others is a gift from above
seeking no gratitude for deeds
of love creates a positive reflection
When provided with means of plenty
be just and PAY IT FORWARD
Joy will be concentrated with focus
upon your heart  It's always good
to be special.

We were on our way to see the sunset
You had told me that's when your heart felt the warmest
I thought no longer and wanted to feel your hands when you felt the summer sun in your soul
"Move On" by Garden City Movement was playing, the vibe felt so romantically deep
I was falling within the time the song was playing
The mellow sounds made me imagine we were sinking into each other’s paths
Everything felt so surreal
You were looking out the window with a blank stare
When you turned to look at me I swear I could see cosmology in your pupils
I saw the truth, so bright and clear
I felt a kind of love that wasn't prompted
It was there in the most natural way
The sun was setting and our destination was close
Along the way we had talked about living together after everything had passed in our lives
You had mentioned names you'd name our kids even though we weren't serious, I knew deep down we had envisioned it already
We talked what we'd name our dog
We talked about what kind of diet we were going to have
We talked about showering together to save water even though we knew we'd have enough money to pay the water bill
We talked about reading to each other before bed
Going to bars and meeting each other all over again as a game
Movie nights
Barbecue nights
Silent nights
And long walks around the city at 1am
Heading back home and going to Ihop at 3am
When we got there I told you to wait up a bit only so I could open the door for you to show you that I'm still the same gentlemen I am when we first met
You smiled and got out the car, I held both of your hands and kissed your forehead and told you I loved you so much
Although we were erose, we knew we'd make it
I got the blanket out of the back seats and walked a certain distance uphill
Tall buildings, orange skies, and a little forest under us
You were into constellations and I was into the truth
I had named a star after you every night for the past year and a half and told you all of these stars you see now are a reflection of what you mean to me
Endless nights I wish I could've been laying down next to you
We saw everything, so you meant everything
The grip between our hands could start a fire
The grass we were laying on was so soft, you had said you’ve always wanted to watch the sunset with someone you loved
You said “my dreams finally came true” I smiled and held you so tightly not knowing time will take this moment away soon
The voices in my head were yelling random things out of excitement, I didn’t know what to say so I leaned over and kissed you like I’ve never kissed anybody else in my life
Every one of my senses were whole at the moment and your kiss reminded me of what it felt that one night I had a dream of visiting myself in heaven when I was at my lowest mentally
Now we’re here and the sky was darkening, a breeze was coming in so I let you borrow the hoodie I had in my car
The sun was nowhere to be seen so we headed back to the car, I opened the door for you again and you had smiled again
I thought to myself, I’ll never get tired of opening the door for you or seeing you smile
With everything that was going on around us, the positive and the negative, I only cared for you and you only cared for me
Our spirits had binded in between silences and we took long breaths before we kissed because we knew we wouldn’t be able to pull away after that
Driving away from the place, we told each other it wouldn’t be the last time doing that, in fact we told each other there would be better days which I doubted because everything about your presence alone was already the best experience in the universe
I could’ve gone to Mars and I’d still prefer being with you because it all filled my heart with joy
A kind of hope you know you can depend on
A kind of destiny that plays out the way you imagine it
A kind of love you know will last even after the bugs under the ground start eating away my body when I’m buried 6 feet under
The moment was taken away when I saw the lights of an eighteen-wheeler coming right at us because the driver was drunk
I looked at you in panic and you looked at me, time had froze
You closed your eyes just before the crash even though everything was going by so fast
I only remember seeing the sun one more time and that was in your eyes as if they had recorded the setting where I felt the most whole when I was with you
“WHERE IS SHE?!” I yelled
“WHERE THE **** IS SHE?”
My heart was beating so fast and you were nowhere near me, I could feel it
A lady wearing a lab coat came in, suddenly in my head a had a conversation planned out and she was saying you were in the other room and that you were okay
But you weren’t
“She didn’t make the accident… I’m sorry”
I remember doctors coming into the room because they had heard me screaming out
“NOOOOOOOOOOO” “LET ME SEE HER” “THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM” “WHERE IS SHE?” “THIS ISN’T FAIR”
My pillow was soaked in tears, they were falling by the sides of my cheeks
I moved my body around even though it hurt worse than a million knives stabbing me at the same time
I had to go see you
I had to go see you no matter what
The doctors held me down and I had to fake being calm for the longest
My mind was dying
My heart was dead
My body couldn’t take the pain
I figured it was you that gave me the strength to pull the cord, so I could go visit you…. In the other life
And so you did, but I had committed too many sins to go where you were
At least you tried to save us, I love you so much

This convalescence eases on slowly,
Coy acuteness craves the longing contentment!!
No resentment, as I walk high heel to booted lace!!!

Creditor, to whom Didst thou pay thine debt?
Or is thy debt still owed?

Curiosity is crowched beneathe the delinquency of fendid demagogues!!
Mortar of temples and synagogues,
You chief cornerstone!!!
You guru with no  home,

Curvature of decadence delineates your demeaning haste,
Open up taste the taste, and heed thy view!!!

A must programmed to turn muteable,
A mourner for me and you.

Omniscient angels raistheth me above the mountains peaks,
Where the strange instruments are observable,
And lovers are loveable,

As your kin she will be to be more than distraction!!!!

Daughter’s of eve.
I have looked and I have seen
The breakfast you have brought to your men
The ugly millionaires you have married
the married business man you met on the ferry
The sad younger man at the bar
The customer whose eyes you couldn’t see though his cigar
I saw you trying to fit into his house
But the door was so small
So small
And you couldn’t fit.
Not with you and what he called, “big-*** hips”
So you go in the French doors in the back
That makes you feel like the eggs you brought him in the morning
Weak and runnier than their yolk sac
The men that first held you like the last orange on the
Last tree in the last garden of the world
Then slowly squeezed out all your juice
Right onto his lapping tongue
Because it turns out he wasn’t hungry just thirsty
And your skin was just a cup that held some juice
To quench his thirst
And wasn’t it worst when you first burst
Into tears over than man
Tears too heavy too many and too hot
To see anything else
To parallel park to leave your mark
On something new to write or speak
To dream or to think
To work out math problems on the board
To not question your man as your lord
I still I hope that your words will carry more weight than
Than number between your feet on the scale
That you will not let your grades drop lower
Than the ******* on your chest
Held high in cups you wish were
higher up in the alphabet than the letter
C.
So why can’t you see.
Why can’t you be
An A.
An a women student mother mentor
A daughter of eve
Who shouldn’t still have to pay
For the way the garden ended but in a pear-shape

~~~


A rich woman
Walked down the street
She met a workman she didn't greet.

But though they didn't
Stop to TALK
They were able
To exchange THOUGHTS...

Hey! Look at me! I'm all that!
Think you're cool with that
baseball hat?

I'm in my designer clothes
I'm Dior from head to toe.

I have snakeskin shoes
And pure silk pants
My perfume comes
From Paris France...

Designer Bags and golden rings
Jeweled tiaras and a
Real mink coat?
What to do with such trivial things?
Except wallow in the
Superficial joy they bring...

Please. Humour me
With stacks of DOUGH
That's street lingo
For cash you know.

I'll sit here and strum my guitar
Whilst I look up
And count the stars...

Please... take your spoils and go...
I don't have time for spoiled souls
I'll enjoy the things that matter most
While you celebrate
charades and toast.

If life's a charade,
At least I'm a player!
You're sure not gonna
Run for Mayor!

C'mon DOUGH BOY
You know that you want
All the goodies that we flaunt!

Yes... I have a real MINK!
And my money has a STINK

But who supports
The people you are?
Why! You're nothing but
Shiftless POOR!

I ain't gotta pay
to play this game
I got a Full Heart I'm all IN!

You can't just buy
Yourself some PEACE
I've learned life lessons
To pay my lease!

Your whole life is inside your wallet
And I'm sorry... but I must call it...

Inside your soul is
bankrupt and foreclosed
It's sad to see happiness is posed

Shiftless, classless and
OUT OF STYLE
But your pretty golden pennies
Ain't worth my while...

You've got cash, but it's just CRASS
Lady. Take your fortunes and

KISS MY BOOTS!!!

WELL! I never!

The last thing she thought
As she hurried away.
She's filthy rich NOW...

... but one day she'll PAY.


(C) SoulSurvivor
(C) Frank Ruland


~~~

You had secrets you'd been hiding,
But when the blood started spilling
So did they.

You always had an argument,
But when it erupted in discontent,
You had nothing to say.

And you hide behind your innocence,
Blame it all on ignorance
So that you'd be safe.

But in the concoction you'd been brewing,
It was problems you were stirring;
You just couldn't let them lay.

So go ahead and sleep soundly,
But this war that is surrounding
Will eventually make you pay.

Blood soaked barrels roll down the cragged hills
Gathering speed and flattening all life  
in their path, until they run into the mouth of the sea.
And though you might hear their desperation  
shrieking madly across the sunburst sky,
do not pay it any mind.  Close your eyes;
and drift away in the thistles of Summer.

"Quien es? Quien es?" Billy called out into the dark.
He then heard the sound of thunder and glimpsed briefly a faint spark.
A powerful force struck him and spun him around.
He then found himself face down on the floor.
There was extreme pain within his chest as he struggled gasping his final breath
and then BILLY the Kid was no more.
Pat Garrett would gain power, money and fame for the killing of BILLY the Kid.
He shot an unarmed young man in the dark without warning.
That's all Sheriff Pat Garrett did.
Garrett ran out of the room nearly tripping himself over the bed.
If it was The Kid and he missed he knew he'd be dead.
As he fled out the door into his deputy he ran.
"I just shot The Kid! I just shot The Kid!" he exclaimed again and again.
"That wasn't The Kid," said his deputy man. "Garrett, you've gone and shot the wrong man."
Jesus Silva and Deluvina were the first to arrive at the scene
to inquire as to what all of the noise and comotion had been.
"I just shot The Kid," is what Garrett said.
"Could one of you go back into the room to check to see if he's dead?"
"Go to hell Garrett," is what Jesus Silva said.
"You went and shot him. You check to see if he's dead."
Deluvina however immediatly went into the room to see what she could never un see.
She slowly approached the lifeless form on the floor.
She knealt down, turned him over and gasped in horror at who she saw.
"Is he dead?" Garrett asked. "Is it The Kid?" he asked again.
Deluvina rose to her feet and lounged out at him.
She violently pounded her fists on Garrett's chest
as she screamed the vilest curses she could bestow upon his head.
She wanted to scratch his eyes out of his skull.
She wanted him suffering. She wanted him dead.
Garrett's deputies and her friends tried to pull her away from him
but even with their combined strength it was a task difficult to employ.
Interspersed between her tears, Deluvina Maxwell cried out to all who could hear,
"They've killed my little boy!"
Billy's body was then carried to the carpenter shop
and carefully laid down on top of a table.
Lit candles were placed surrounding The Kid.
The village then held an all night long candle lit vigil.
Women and children, the old and the poor,
even manly men were seen openly weeping,
as they all walked by giving their final good bye
to their fallen young friend now eternally sleeping.
"Duerme bien, Querido" or "Sleep Well, Beloved" are the words that were engraved
on a small wooden cross that Deluvina Maxwell placed at Billy's grave.
This would be the first of many visits she would pay to The Kid.
She would visit him well into her senior years.
Many times she would be seen kneeling down at his grave
with her hand on her heart and often in tears.
Perhaps it's just me but none of this appears to be
the treatment of a feared and hated outlaw.
The feelings expressed by those who knew him best
were feelings of mourning, of loss and much more.
A wanton killer? An unconscionable human being?
BILLY the Kid was none of the above.
All who were his friend displayed it on the night his life did end.
Billy Was Someone Who Was Very Much Loved.
And so, close to midnight, on July 14th in the year of 1881,
William H Bonney was shot and killed, compliments of Pat Garrett's gun.
Pete Maxwell's house is where BILLY the Kid became Billy the deceased.
Billy, may your reckless and restless spirit finally
Rest In Peace.

AND if you go -- love goes away?  No, it's understood.
My love stays as freedom is a breakfast food
as if love can live with right or wrong (undestood)
or rolly-pollies are from frightful mountains made---
long enough just for you and me.

As though pain can pay the rent
regardless of genius please the talentgang comes
to collect the fallen minds and hearts upon
the sidewalks of understanding.  Everywhere.

So as it is;  my whole life:  as my coalwood eyes
burn wint-air oh waiting (my love) for spring ?(y)(w)ou(w)
un-air-stan?me
crazy
me like

evry-ting
we can do it for just Me and You.  So bring it (with love)
for a landing -- without misunderstanding -- as there is no
end what we can do together without end.

see shebert lips of babies and their beating exploding Love-hearts
: with a little luck we can help it out.

:: 10.24.2021 ::

To buy, or not to buy: That is the Question.

Whether it is better in the end to suffer

The moods and whims of some outrageous landlord

Or take loans. against your future earnings

And end up owning something? In hock, for years;



Pay rent? And by paying rent to say we end

The heart ache and the thousand natural shocks

Home ownership is heir to.  Reduced Consumption?

No Politician’s wish! To rent?    To lease?

To lease, perchance to own? Ay, that’s a thought

For in the grip of debt you’re paying bills

Till you have shuffled off this mortal coil



It gives one pause. That’s the aspect

That makes calamity of  adjusting rates

For who would bear the years and years of debt

Fine dining now reduced to happy meals,

Buyers remorse, and the long delays.

The Questionable title and the risk

Your credit rating doesn’t rate the loan.

When you yourself know if you lose your job

You’ll end up sleeping in your S.U.V.





To grunt and sweat under a heavy load

Under the threat of something worse than debt

The forced short sale, from which, once closed

No equity returns. It puzzles the will.

And makes us rather bear such debts we have

And, if necessary, refinance them still.



Compounding thus make cowards of us all.

And so our youthful promise and ambition

Is hobbled by the weight of student  loans

made by lenders judged too big to fail.

In this regard the risk is very real
we lose the house to auction.

I refuse to tell anyone about the dreams where I am reading bedtime stories to you, where each is a different way you die and every way I will never save you.
I don't think twice of letting anybody know that drinking Clorox could potentially **** the what once were butterflies inside of you.
I won't tell anybody that my love for you is like perfecting the stringing of the beautiful chords on a harp ( for someone who is [deaf. I [can't tell anybody that when you told the doctor you weren't sexually active, I couldn't stop thinking -"so my party favors meant nothing to you?"  My body was like an instrument and your words were the very melody that tuned it, unfortunately your vocal chords were that {of Lucifer's. Maybe you loved the feeling of tying me to the coffee table and making home movies, then creating a party once the confetti burst from my eyes, I heard once you die that you watch your life replay but I found it hurts twice as bad the second time around, now that I think about it, I think my heart exploded into confetti as well and [maybe that's why is feel empty and there are no more butterflies, just year old rotting confetti. My ribs never really echoed until you came around, I don't think I had anybody take my breath away quite like you, you did it a tiny bit different from the others, you knocked the wind right out of me and used it as air to blow banners and silly string around for your pity party.
Do you remember when you told me how cliché my poetry was on my birthday? well I do not love you like the everlasting affair between the sea and the sand & I don't miss you how the Sun misses the Moon. For I fear you as if I were alive in Pompeii during 79 After Death, And my hate towards you is as strong as the believers during the time of Crucifixion and I am as devastated as when the families of Jews found bodies upon bodies unnamed in box cars.
>I remember the taste of your mouth and your cravings for cigarettes, I was your ashtray. I remember your passion for watercolor paintings, I am your cup of brown water. I remember your undenied addiction for sweetened coffee, I am the leftover stain on your teeth. I remember your love for street racing, -I am the skid marks left on the street.<
Maybe one day you'll think back to the girl that you said you loved, maybe you'll realize that she was not the burns marks in your brain from the bleach you drank to try and ruin the confetti that is now in [your] rib cage, maybe you'll pay more attention to abandoned buildings on the side of the street, now that you realize that's what you've made her become.
Maybe you'll remember which cabinet the chemicals were in and at the point maybe you'll realize that her dreams from your bed time stories came true.

Western women have their rights.
For goodness sake don’t set your sights
On marriage to this sumptuous goose.
She’ll have your kids, and then vamoose,
She’ll leave you very high and dry,
With no-one there to see you sigh,
Your kids are gone and if you want
To see them you must never flaunt
Your rights before her stony face,
But pay full well, or your disgrace
Will plague the daily paper run
While she disports out in the sun.
Indeed you’ll pay for all her joys,
Your house is hers to sell with poise
And re-establish somewhere else,
While you must foot the bill or else.

This is the feminist home ground.
You want to go another round?
She’ll run your nose in all the dirt
So when you finally lose your shirt
With filling lawyers’ purse profound,
And get up, snivelling, from the ground,
You’ll find your company’s hers as well.
You know you’ve landed merry hell.

So if you marry yet again
(when finally recovered,) then
Look somewhere east but never west.
They’ve failed relationship, you’ve guessed.

What is it with four letters?
That mere intersections of lines and loops
Of curves and edges
Of creations of ballpoint pens
Have managed to spell the faces of the voices that keep me up at night

P-A-I-N. Pain was the story of age 5
The reverberation of the door slammed shut
It is the sound of my mother’s wails and my father’s rage
It is the sight of skin kissing skin in the most unromantic of ways

H-E-L-P. Help were the tears that have run dry from age 16
The tugs and pulls, of scratching to hold on to anything and everything
They were of hand after hand that stretched only to push and silence the crying of the girl left with nothing
They were the stares that spat on my face, whose breathe have filled my lungs with words
Which said, “you are not enough” , “you are a mistake”, “you will never be more than your failures,”

L-I-E-S. Lies are the roommates that have taken over my bed at age 21
They were the tags that came with the packages of death and failure
It tells me bedtime stories of fault and regret until I dream of only those
It is the gate that have forced its way to barricade my heart because my heart; no, my life; no, my existence is undeserving of interactions outside these walls

What is it with four letters?

D-O-N-E. Done is the selection of ropes and blades, of bullets and train rails at 23
It is finally believing in the bedtime stories of defeat and condemnation
It is stepping on that last rock, layers above creations worth saving more than I
But no, done is the shadow that stretched into my vision
It is the intersection of two lines that drew a gap between my feet and the fall
It is the truth of the fallen and the risen that have tilted my head to look back
At nail pierced hands that have been embracing me all along

R-A-I-N. Rain was the prayer I said at age 25
It is the drops of red that dripped from places in His body that are now just scars of triumph
It is the ocean that kisses the shore anew a million times a day
K-N-O-W. Know was I never forgotten
It is the realization of a presence that have charted my life’s story since day 1

What is it with four letters ?
What is it with four letters?
Wait, what is IN four letters?

H-O-P-E. Hope is man redeemed
It is the truth pain have tried to numb us of and lies have tried to replace our memories with
Hope is glorious substitution, it is of spared lashes and whips
It is the inhale and exhale of a man enduring
Of steps- right, left, right, left- of a body stained with blood untouched by this world of gravel and dirt

Hope was of a baby born on straws resting on earth’s grounds
Hope is from His last breathe, a scandalous end that exhaled life into a new beginning
It is Chapter 3 of an “undeniability” that defeat is a myth refuted by an empty tomb
Hope is redemption from resurrection, deliverance from remembrance
Love and grace eternal
Forgiveness impartial like fire that consumes all sides: past, present, future- the done, doing, and did

Hope is Christ taking flesh to save a creation unworthy but loved still
An irrationality made reality
Accept that this is not the end, that life may have moved without you but the Author of life has never failed to write you in each time
So stand today with an authority respired by Christ and rebuke the sayings and said
Of screams and whispers by your stories of ages 5, 16, and 21

Know that you are the King’s beloved, paid by a price with an amount that transcends infinity
Darling, hope is a four letter word written in strokes that spell L-O-R-D
And as everlasting as those letters spell is hope as eternal
So place a cross on your front porch
So next time pain and lies pay you a visit, they’ll know that your home is not of bricks and stones but of a body lined with bones and flesh of man who have conquered their master who is death

Bask in the divine, it is finished

I sit upon my throne and stare
Looking at the empty hall with no care
Memories of cheers and excitement
And then I only had indictment
They blamed me for the faults that occurred
Traitors amongst my ranks who had it stirred
The price I have to pay for those I trust
Keep their words they must.
But no, they don’t. I see them running out
My Kingdom a Blaze and I’m with no doubt
And for whoever wants to be the king
Be prepared for what troubles those who say they’re loyal will bring

Untamed mammals release tensions before mine own eye's. Chains art broke, none more cloaks to hide those dreading thoughts of suicide. Raging dictating swearer's, jewels traded for tools as the sun lowers. Tis this place gets rarer and bare. . . . . . .Cars surround. Compound their rubbers to bullets of blood issued steel. . .Captivating and excruciating. Music to thy ear's turneth to bad news! ! Chess sweepers. Checker winners. Both losers whilst the rest born sinners. . . Costly state pay to fatcat pocket books hands; some issue warnings whilst protective custody issues dull demands. . . . . All prosecution standeth  to issued remaxed detective blogees. . . . . . .redneck respecters cometh with protectors whilst the odd breeds cometh with a dodger. . . . . .mystique, defeat. . . . .to thy hands thou art tied from behind! Move up the latter, tasteth thine coroded own chatter, the deaf art now the blind. . . . . . .

Crazy?
Maybe. Possibly.
In spite of what crazy's costing me
I can see no reason NOT to be
just a little bit crazy.
It takes a lot to amaze me,
but I'm amazed for days
at the level of insanity
disguised as vanity
that I see, individually portioned
smothered in bigotry and
dispensed freely, thumped
out of various ancient tomes
and called Sovereignty.
Crazy?
I was crazy once.
Invited Jim Jones out to lunch,
and I threw him a couple bones
dared him to spike the punch.
And his reply was hazy,
like a busted eight ball.
Something told me that guy was crazy.
But what was really gone
was how they all gathered on the lawn
to egg him on. Didn't dawn
that they were going to go
too far til they were gone.
Nobody caught on.
Crazy?
Yeah, just a little bit.
I'm what happens when the fan
hits the ****.
I've hit this **** and that, a bit,
and held the smoke of a thousand
miscreant rips, scales tipped
til we slipped out of the tray,
a gram shy but well on our way.
Hey, put that **** away,
the NSA is on the phone today,
and they hear you coughing,
keep coughing that way
and they're going to put you away
in Guantanemo Bay,
and there you'll stay,
for forever and a day,
or until you roll doubles,
or have the money to pay.
Monopolizing the cheap properties
with new hotels every day.
Crazy?
That's a matter of opinion
and in this day and age
opinion is public dominion.
Digitized before our eyes
and with a simple keystroke
we've broken the fourth wall,
and every imaginable flaw
has come to be our downfall,
gliding through reality
at breakneck speeds
then crashing into the firewall,
before we fall, right down
into the cold, hard ground
around the feet of what used
to be called discretion,
that is now open confession
coupled with cries for attention,
but don't mention criticism,
that's a schism! and we all want
to go down in flames together,
thick as a brick, but brains like a feather.
Crazy?
Yeah, but what can you do?
Look inside your mind,
I bet you're a little crazy too.
We're all just outright animals
in this ***** human zoo.
I'm a **** chimp, it's true,
I ain't monkeying around with you.
Just chilling, killing time,
instilling madness in the rhyme
to keep my mind refined
or just stick a finger in it from behind
stroke the cortex, bless it all,
now I'm blind!
I must be out of my mind.
It was a mistake to think
I could take a headache
out without some serious
long term repercussions.
No more discussions, as I've
left myself with a fingerprint
and a concussion.
I'm feeling a little lazy...
Crazy?

Why yes, utterly

The Wealthy must pay their fair share
Here in the “Golden State”
Fifty three percent or so
Here by the golden Gate.
They will likely move to Utah
where the skiing’s just as great.
We rule by Proposition,
It’s Democratic and it’s fair!
But when we have to pay for Pensions
It seems the money isn’t there.

California pays its workforce
with Golden I.O.U’s.
We hope Obama bails us out
Before they all come due.
Our growing Mexican population
plans for la Reconquista.
They smile as each old ****** dies
They mutter “Hasta La vista”
Governor Moonbeam’s back in charge,
The Terminator’s gone
Pelosi’s back in Washington
What could possibly go wrong?

What if the world is ending
and our future's not for long
what if we're merely bending
what's been broken all along

How long can we be silent
to our fellow passers-by
wondering where our time went
living, dying to know why

Where oh where can love be found?
in this twisted human race
**** the West, then march Eastbound
we're no doubt nature's disgrace

And what's to say about dismay?
that somehow we've not yet gotten
money is all they take for pay
to confess our sins, forgotten

The searing flame, I've learned to tame
to appease those in fear of fire
you fool yourselves in search of fame
honesty creates the liar

And who's to blame behind the shame?
the king, or we, the lowly pawns
to us of course it's all the same
oh well, long live we kings of cons

But what if we're just lonely?
what is right becomes all wrong
what happens when "if only"
means "i've waited much too long"

I’m built up with all the tension
Will I go into another dimension?
I’ve packed my favorite snacks
Including my only pair of slacks
I said goodbye to all my friends
I hope this wouldn’t be the end
I wish there was no rush
And I would totally love a slush
I remember to bring a weapon
It’s obviously only for protection
And a camera for my memories
My bathing suit for the sea
And my favorite winter jacket when there is a breeze
This trip better be for free
I’ll miss everyone I know
Even all my foe
I’m ready for this journey
Oh, there better be a gurney...

I hear the noise of the ship
It’s time to get on
I hear people singing a song
There is entertainment along the way
I didn’t even have to pay
Someone threw a block
I can’t believe I forgot my sunblock
I ate from a 5 star cuisine
It tastes so serene
5 hours have passed
Time went by so fast
I wonder how long this will last
The day is getting darker
And not too far away
I see some colorful lights
It was a splendid sight.

I was blinded by the lights
As I walk through the cave
There were millions of crystals
Some small some big
I might have seen some pigs
Then what amazed me the most were the people
They were taller than skyscrapers
And always smiled with glee
They ate strange exotic fruits
Then turned into brutes
There was nothing this place lacked
These apples would’ve killed Isaac
Then they led me to a hut
And brought me what looked like macadamia nuts
The place was so beautiful
I ate until I was full
Like a fat baby I slept the night away
And woke up by the bay
Wow wasn’t that a day
What else should I say?

I see a little girl
Cute as a pearl
She came from the tides
Looking for a ride
She gleams at everything I say
She even ate some hay
She imitates what I do
It’s hard to tell who’s who
I wonder why I’m here
Was I meant to have a beer?
Then it literally hit me
The little girl that I see
Was what I meant to be
I learned to have fun
Relax and say puns
Forget about all the taxes
Put away all my axes
This is why I’m here
It’s not for me to fear.

The little girl and I
Baked some pie
With maybe a few flies
Then we swam under the waterfall
And went to the mall
This lasted until fall
Now I must return
I’ll miss those exciting days
And all those scorching rays
But now I must go home
My family is there
I don’t know what to wear
They bought a big cake
All for ME and not to share
How I missed them so much
I began to lose all touch
I lived the night away
And I didn’t even have to pay
Now it is May
And I lay.

This poor girl, she completely had it coming!
Even I have to admit that the ending was stunning….
Ladies & Gentleman! Boys & Girls!
Pay close attention and the lessons are yours….
A casting call for a play that he advertised
Renee leaving her guard down stopped in and applied.
With compassion shown, He convinced her to stay for a while.
Renee, so naive, believed him because she loved the way that he made her smile.
Renee saw the sadness and pain that he could not disguise
She trusted his role, He will bring a tear to all of the audience’s eyes.
Renee took the role from His story to heart. Meanwhile; she did not notice her own life began to fall
She cried for Him to help her, but he said he was too busy preparing for the Masquerade Ball.
There she goes again! Renee is following her heart, has she COMPLETELY forgot?
This is where I had to step in to protect her and show her the plot!
I have warned Renee in the past so I reminded her
When you start to care, history show’s it is your heart you despair!
I thumbed through the script & there He wrote on the last page….
At the end of his story, Renee ended up alone on the stage.
A ****** up tragedy for Renee’s character,
She put a dagger to her heart and her blood poured on the floor.
When Renee read this scene, she did not know what to do…
So I yelled at Him….
“SHE FINALLY LOVED AGAIN! SHE TRUSTED HER HEART WITH YOU!”
She insisted on believing Him…. God! This girl does not have a clue!
I had to stop her from this mistake, so I grabbed her and choked her until she turned blue.
I have kept her hidden, That is, until today,
Bound, gagged, & tied, because she cannot take the pain when she gives her heart away.
Sadly, we all know how this story will end…
I killed her so Renee’s heart would start to mend.
She fought me so hard; this girl said she knew love,
Nevertheless, I knew she could not handle it, so I watched her soul rise above.
**** Love, **** Hope, **** Trust and *******!
Renee’s Dying words were “But my love for him was true!”
THE END

The place I'm staying in is my body
She makes my decisions
She rolls my eyes
Every dress I wear is hers
Having a body means nothing is really mine on the inside
Hardly out of my mother yet and my cries don't belong to me
My credit card is food to make my body stay still
But that puts me in debt
And she wants to run because she needs me to pay rent
My body has issues with me that I don't understand
What's the problem if I don't want to move? I think. If I want to smoke why can't I? If I want to thrash around my room and break her.
Why can't I?
Why does she love so easily?
Why does she want to be alive so badly?
The bodies around me own their tenants
Their tenants are owned by other bodies
Our bodies are like children who cry when hungry
There are some things that need to be articulated
There are no more lives left to live and my body is grasping on to me like a lifeline
At the same time she's trying to stop me from drowning
She needs me to feel immortal
Even though I already am