"overeat" poems
I wake up to a heavy chest
A heavy heart and a heavy head
I want to text you back
But I can't force myself to move
I sit up and put my head between my knees
Regretting the stupid things I did the night before
Wondering where my self-care went
Yes I'm still working out and meditating
But I also haven't been sober for awhile
I know the drugs make me sad
And I know they make me overeat
Which in turn makes me feel bad
So why can't I just stop?
Why can't I just feel this pain?
Why do I have to drown it out
In liquor and THC?
I feel so lost
I don't know who I am
I don't know how to feel anything
Without hurting myself again
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 10:40 AM UTC
I have an exhaustion,
Buried deep under my skin,
And as hard as I try,
I can't seem to rid myself of it.
I oversleep and under-sleep,
I overeat and I under-eat.
I try just short of everything,
To find any ounce of energy,
I lost so long ago.
But I should have known better,
This was not just exhaustion.
No amount of sleep could cure
what I am plagued with.
An exhaustion not from lack of energy,
but from a lack of euphoria.
Sep 8, 2018
Sep 8, 2018 at 10:19 PM UTC
Sometimes
We overeat
the best is
we know
we are overeating
an awareness
to apply the silence
when overeating
Now
You know to connect
the reason behind
may be
Loneliness
Depression
Debts
Envy or jealous
less income
if we do correct the
missing element
you obesity flies off..
Oct 31, 2017
Oct 31, 2017 at 8:02 AM UTC
getting day-drunk and
wallowing in self-loathing,
not only
welcomed
but
encouraged
(and more importantly-
expected).
Conversation minefields,
to navigate
with only
the utmost care.
Talk about the weather
and whether
or not
"the game" will go the way you want,
the sitcom situation will reach resolution,
the recipe could use some almonds,
or cumin-
(or *****
But avoid the specifics
at all costs.
Just remember:
School is
"good."
Work is
"busy."
Your husband/wife/bf/gf/partner/cat/landlord is
"great."
You are
"fine."
Just remember:
Today you are not
overwhelmed.
Your personal life is definitely not
in shambles.
Your financial situation is completely in order and not
inadequate or
hopeless or
causing insurmountable stress.
Today,
You are
"fine."
So
laugh politely,
accept the guilt-trips,
roll your eyes only when they look away.
Know
they mean well.
(or at least pretend they do)
Reminisce and
overeat and
don't apologize.
Fight and bicker and debate.
Cheat at cards
(but don't get caught!)
and accept each other's flaws.
No matter what,
just remember what
is ultimately important-
Despite the criticism,
the misunderstanding,
the generation gaps,
the dysfunction,
the disappointment,
the unrealistic expectations,
the heartbreak,
the competition,
the confusion,
the pain.
To have a family (no matter what form)
guarantees
you have a place you belong.
The place can be uncomfortable,
and small,
and unbelievably hard to find
and a nightmare to maintain
but it is yours,
so be grateful.
And revel in the strange and difficult and wonderful love only a family can offer.
Apr 1, 2013
Apr 1, 2013 at 12:51 AM UTC
They’re all around us, affecting our lives in unseen ways, causing worry, hesitation, confusion, anxiety, avoidance.
They bring us to our knees.
Fears control us in ways we never realize, unacknowledged and more powerful because of their unknown workings.
Fears stop us from following our dreams, from taking risks, from pursuing love, from seeking adventure, from speaking in public, from going into the unknown, from starting a new venture, from reveling in discomfort. We procrastinate, overeat, find distractions, because of fear. We are seized with constant worry, from fear.
And yet, these fears are just clouds.
They float into our field of vision, unbidden and unwanted, like a dark stormy cloud. We get caught in the rainshower and thunder, and feel that this is our entire world. We immerse ourselves in this cloud, as if there’s nothing outside of it and it will never go away.
But the cloud will pass.
The cloud floats away, like anything else. It’s nothing to run from. It’s just a passing cloud.
So watch the cloud of fear arise, acknowledge it, and watch it float away, like any other thought. Enjoy the chill of the shadow and the wind as it passes over you.
Then step into the sunshine of the present moment, beautiful and joyous now that the cloud has passed.
In each moment, we are OK. Even when fear arises, we are OK. Learn to trust in this OK-ness, the goodness of the present moment, the enough-ness of you, right now.
See the fear pass, and see that you’re still OK.
Once you develop this skill of watching the fear pass, and trusting in your OK-ness and enough-ness, you are equipped to deal with life, and get up off your knees.
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 25, 2014 at 3:26 PM UTC
I like to pretend that I overeat when I eat 1/4 cup of scrambled eggs 2 pieces of sausage and a croissant.
I like to pretend that every time I skip a meal everyone notices how much weight I've lost.
I like to pretend that when I eat 5 pretzels that it counts as dinner.
I like to pretend that in a month I will be pretty.
I like to pretend that I don't have a problem.
I like to pretend that it's okay.
But it isn't
But they don't
But it doesn't
But I won't
But I do
But I'm not
Dec 14, 2013
Dec 14, 2013 at 11:14 PM UTC
The challenge of enjoying
tasty and nutritious
food and drink
is not to overeat.
Jul 29, 2019
Jul 29, 2019 at 4:47 AM UTC
My mind is filled with noise.
Sometimes the sounds of music,
Symphonies and orchestras.
But other times the sounds of failure.
Lack of accomplishment.
There are times when my mind is so intent
That I ensure my eating habits are not bent.
That I don't overeat, overindulge or have a treat.
Eat ice cream, and you will surely feel the heat.
The wrath of negative thoughts as they endlessly grow,
My mood dips into a bottomless low.
It's been a long battle, "I should be over it by now"
But sometimes those thoughts insist I'm a cow
I'll continue to fight to change my mind
And change its noise to a more melodic kind.
Apr 9, 2016
Apr 9, 2016 at 12:10 AM UTC
Ah, those popular wishes of
giving the fat a trim
Beauty is now the
monopoly of the slim!
Sinuous and slender
The hourglass figure
The thinner, the better.
Dieting and slimming
down tricks
of course selling like hot
cakes
Tis a pity, she can't eat to
her heart's content and
desire
for rounded figures they
no longer admire.
But as long as
scrumptious samosas
keep frying in pans
and delicious pizzas
keep baking in 'em' ovens
it'd be hard to keep the
****** calorie count
or to live in fear of the
expanding waistline
mount.
Ah, those mouth-
watering deep-fried
kebabs
are entirely to blame for
my yo-yo dieting!
Gosh to cut down on
cheese and butter slab
is one tough way to get
rid of body flab.
This war against weight
is weighing upon her
mind,
instead of being simply
chubby and straight
We gotta maintain teen
contours and curves we
find!
You do know this is a
war you've got to be
winning.
It's those extra pounds
and not the war you
have to be losing.
Or the other skinny
lasses will be smirking,
grinning.
Ah, but all young ladies
must as well beware:
Dragoness Anorexia's
engulfing lair
or how her crony Bulimia
too can ensnare!
So pals better be about ill-
health more cautious
rather than being overly
so weight-conscious. :)
You can be loved despite your plump weight
I've seen many a curvy plus size woman
admired and adored by her soulmate.
So dears don't overeat or starve yourself
You don't have to be a tiny elfin fairy or elf.
Oct 26, 2022
Oct 26, 2022 at 7:59 AM UTC
mauve and red on azure hue
jacarandas, flame trees and summer blue
that time again of heat
and inappropriate rituals
we grew here
and santa clause flew here!
who does he think he is?
roast dinners while paul kelly
asks who will make the gravy
bush fire victims needy of funding
while millions are spent on fireworks
as though there wasn’t enough smoke
or air pollution
families who avoid each other
through the year
gather with cheap coloured paper hats
and pull the ritual bonbon
and tell bad puns
to fill the gaps in conversation
and the cicadas sing out
the banality, the ennui
while cashed up families
tow caravans up and down the coast
to camping area suburbias
and celebrate their right
to overeat and drink beer
their god given entitlement
to be strayan
and talk about queue jumpers
that’s why i make my own ritual
based on the good things
of that time ...
respite from daily routine
time for quiet reflection
on the worth
of who you are
and who you’ve helped
Dec 4, 2019
Dec 4, 2019 at 7:44 PM UTC
To overeat is human.
To diet is divine.
To count your every calorie
is a precious use of time.
To pass up fattening goodies
shows your admirable restraint,
a noble cause you've championed
with nary a complaint.
But who could nix banana splits
or pasta, piping hot?
Your diet is well balanced.
Your mind is surely not.
Jul 9, 2015
Jul 9, 2015 at 3:19 PM UTC
I wish I felt this good sober...
I wake up every morning feeling like the weight of the world is sitting on my chest.
I have a heavy heart, filled with regret and a heavy head constantly filled with what ifs and self doubt.
I roll over to text you back but see no reply.
I can't bring myself get out of bed again.
I sit up and put my head between my knees and just breathe.
I sit there and regret all the the stupid things I said and did the night before.
Wondering when things started to get this bad.
I'm starting to shut everyone out again.
I haven't been sober in awhile.
I can’t tell if the drugs make me happy or sad.
I just know they make me feel numb.
And I know the drugs, they make me overeat.
Which makes me feel like **** because I already hate my body.
I don’t know why I continue to do this.
Why i continue to act like I’m not hurt.
I try to drown it out and mask the feelings
In liquor, THC, and with men who see me as nothing.
I am so lost
I don't know who I am
I don’t want you to hurt me again
I’m so tired of being me
Sep 19, 2019
Sep 19, 2019 at 2:13 PM UTC
brother Abel
the original
dogsitter.
metal plate
the mirror’s
pearl.
the treehouse and the crucifixion.
sister.
sister she’d overeat
and draw
all night
the adventures
of the subway
driving
egg.
Sep 21, 2016
Sep 21, 2016 at 7:59 PM UTC
We have our third talk in the month
and I tread clearly, carefully lifting
and placing each statement
and each assumption
still, I am covered in filth
I wonder if this will feel
clean again
you’ve been separated from
your wife of 35 years
for almost two years now?
You never mentioned that:
yes, I never wanted to tell you.
you’ve been to jail
and your story doesn’t really add up
you’ve lost your mind
in bits and pieces
I called you back to shore
but still
you make me afraid to breathe
no wonder she left you
at 3am while you slept deeply
no wonder she just left
a short note on the door
there is too much denial here
too much control
too much shame
I am so sorry for you both
humanity is such a bore
a chore
and so very painful
in all the smallest details
is it a sorrow that a ridiculous habit
is shattered after
an entire adult life has been spent
pretending it was real?
In the end, I don’t think so
but then, I don’t have to hold
that note in my hand
and I don’t have to give up my house
and I don’t have to look in the mirror
or see her face in the eyes of my children
I am mostly stunned
given where you come from
that you missed the lesson on trying
to live the truth
now you have bound me not to tell
others that know you
now I am complicit in this small lie
it makes me feel ill
too sick to even overeat
and that’s saying a lot
and I love you still
and know you are but
a person
and I have read of this
and heard it all before
just not so very close to home or
rather
not so very steeped in my own
assumptions
so the lesson is mine:
wake the **** up and
own THIS feeling
and learn to never ever
close your eyes again
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 2:08 AM UTC
Something is very wrong,
Have i been like this all along?
Now that all the drama and pain has gone away...
I still feel all the pain.
Something is very wrong,
I feel that i've sensed it all along.
First i was cutting,
then i stopped eating.
Now i overeat.
When will these disgusting cycles end.
Something is very wrong,
My mother doesn't love me,
My father expects something i cannot deliver.
My sister looks up to me.
Something is very wrong,
I have felt this way all along...
When was my smile real?
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 8:53 PM UTC
You say you want the entire platter
But your appetite says it can only
Handle a sample
Let's see how much you can digest
Or is it too much to swallow?
You're hungry
But you're a fool
I get it
You don't wanna overeat
You want leftovers
So many options the next day
Yet, you just snack
What's up with that?
Jul 28, 2020
Jul 28, 2020 at 9:32 PM UTC
Vulnerability
Makes me feel
kind of strange
very strange I'll be honest
it makes me want to overeat
it makes me feel like Im an alien learning to swim with no feet
But none of that's true and I'm a human
and I have feet and ankles
Vulnerability makes me feel
Very aware of my shins
It makes my head swirl and the back of my neck feel more naked than a dog shaved for summer
But in a way
it feels like home
is that too much to say
Do i really feel that way
go with it
try it out
its probably true
I used to like vulnerability
Maybe this is where I get my creativity back
Actually maybe this is how I combat
My detach
Maybe this is where my strength lies
Maybe in this honesty I am more myself than ever before
Maybe I've shed the fear that used to make other people a bore
I've been coming to this for a while
Now that I look back on this year
I've been craving this earnest collective of presentness being picked up by my ears
Little hairs swaying back and forth
A strange notion
Simpler and fully in
Learning to remember that I know how to swim
My calves engulfed in blue
feeling fresh and new
I did always say that I wished I was a fish
Jun 18, 2020
Jun 18, 2020 at 2:44 AM UTC